up, up and away

Superman To Become Less Terrible (Maybe)

Picture it: you get a fancy-schmancy director to make a film about one of America's most beloved characters; it has a huge budget, impressive effects, big name talent, and... it totally sucks. Ang Lee's The Hulk immediately comes to mind, as does Bryan Singer's Superman. They were both critical and commercial failures, plus they were boring as all hell. But this summer, the Hulk franchise got a less sucky, more successful reboot. And that got Hollywood's wheels a'spinnin'. Could the same thing be done for The Man of Steel? It's complicated. Watch as we untangle the twisted tale after the jump. More »

Hostile 3

Horror Fans Angered After Learning Lionsgate's 'Midnight Meat Train' Is Now A DVD-Express

Clive Barker's legions of horror fans have gotten their barbed-wire panties in a bunch. At issue is Lionsgate's release plans for their adaptation of Barker's short story, The Midnight Meat Train. Despite the story being a fan favorite, and a satisfying trailer (mmm...yuppie chops!) featuring the U.S. directing debut of Japanese horror maven Ryuhei Kitamura, new studio president Joe Drake bumped the movie from its May 15th date—which allowed The Strangers to clean up as the only R-rated horror option of the weekend. It was a curious strategy shift, to say the least, and not the least bit helped by a significant conflict of interest. Or as Deadline Hollywood Daily puts it, "Guess who was exec producer of The Strangers? Joe Drake." Fansite shocktillyoudrop.com, meanwhile, has since discovered the grim truth of what's become of Meat Train's remains:

Lionsgate is planning a limited 100 theater run of the Clive Barker adaptation on August 1st.

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middling earth

'Hobbit' Director Debate Ignores Critical Fact that 'Hobbit' is Rubbish

There's been much to-do over the last day about Peter Jackson's hiring of Guillermo del Toro to direct the two-part Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. Among our favorite dissenting opinions belongs to Salon critic Andrew O'Hehir, who pulls out his Cannes '06 interview notebook to look up del Toro's sentiment at the time: "I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don't like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits — I've never been into that at all. I don't like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff." Our sister blog Gawker doesn't like del Toro's selection either, but we're optimistic this is a perfect match for everyone because The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien and Guillermo del Toro all fucking suck. Does it really matter which A-list fantasy/horror fanboy with $300 million of Warner Bros.' money and Jackson's imprimatur is going to spend four years jacking off behind a camera in New Zealand? It's going to be unwatchable. Not only that, but didn't Jackson make this movie three times already? Here's our exclusive script excerpt: "EXT. FOREST — DAY. Bilbo Baggins furrows his brow. Visual effects and soundtrack happen. INT. CASTLE — NIGHT. Ian McKellen cameo. More effects. EXT. FOREST — DAY. The end." It's a hit! [Salon]

poison pens

'Fanboys' Second Director Courts Viewer Support With Profanity-Laced Love Letters

Our day just wouldn't feel complete without an update from the spittle-streaked slapfight surrounding Fanboys, the geek-world equivalent of a cuddly endangered panda being shepherded to its unwitting demise through the dark reaches of Harvey's Ye Olde Butchery and Movie Co. The pimpled purists still plan to boycott Friday's release of Superhero Movie if the Weinstein Company doesn't promise to leave Fanboys' critical cancer subplot intact, but a series of e-mail dialogues published Wednesday on /film indicates that Harvey's designated re-shooter, Steven Brill, has a thin skin that itches like crazy:

Fanboy 1: You suck for re-cutting 'fanboys.' You really do.
Brill: U suck for e mailing me your bullshit whining. U r gonna like fanboys better because of me and then u can kiss my ass

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freaks and geeks

Darth Weinstein Relents, Geeks Stay Hungry as 'Fanboys' Saved From Hacky Death

After last weekend's flash of rebellion threatening to engulf parents' basements across America with smoldering dork rage, the Weinstein Company announced late Monday that it would in fact release the Star Wars-devotee dramedy Fanboys on DVD in both a cancer-subplot-free edit and the original, disease-of-the-geek version preferred by the angry fans at StopDarthWeinstein.com. But that's not enough for the fanboy offensive, who lashed out in protest yet again this morning:

This is clearly a vain attempt by the Weinstein Company to avert Star Wars fans' impending boycott of all of their films. Well, guess what? It's not going to work, Darth Weinstein!

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