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Eva Longoria
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catfights
Jessica Simpson Adds Pamela Anderson To Long List Of 'Bitches' And 'Whores' Who Despise Her
After proving she had little to contribute to the film or starfucking industries, Jessica Simpson finally realized she should keep her pretty-but-pretty-dumb mouth shut for the time being and instead let her t-shirts do the talking, angering PETA in the process. Though the feisty baby seal saviors have their fair share of enemies, they've also impressively managed to get celebrity spokespeople like Alec Baldwin and Eva Mendes to embarrass themselves in public by demanding the public do drugs (Baldwin) or taking off their clothes in the name of fur (Mendes). So naturally, Simpson's public cry for attention irked PETA's most compassionate celebrity nudist, Pamela Anderson, who called her fellow talent-challenged blonde "a bitch and whore" on a radio show. But this is far from the first time Jessica has ruffled another starlet's feathers just by being Jessica. We took a look back at the many ways Simpson has made herself a household name not by selling records or movie tickets, but by starring in her own personal Catfights franchise. More »
knights of hubbard
Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri
When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their many
reunions
Tom And Katie Kiss And Make Up With Beckhams
Though the Metropolitan Museum's annual Costume Gala is considered by most to be the Oscars of the fashion world, the truth of the matter is that no one really focuses on the clothes. What really matters is which celebrities show up to WEAR the clothes and, of course, whether or not they're lookin' good. That said, all eyes were entirely focused on the recently friction-laden, reportedly squabbling super-duo of Team Cruise and Team Beckham, who reunited once again for the cameras. And despite the gushing show of admiration and respect that the Beckhams demonstrated for the the Hubbard-lovers on yesterday's Oprah, both Holmes and Beckham were allegedly competing for the spotlight last night. And in the end? The girl with the higher-slit dress tends to win every time. More photos from the event, including our picks for the best and most horrific looks of the night, after the jump.
bosom buddies
Katie Holmes Vs. Victoria Beckham: Who Started The Catfight And Why?
The last two weeks have been rough on the friendship of one-time power duo Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes. First, the meal-skipping, identical-haircut-sporting pair's friendship took a hit when Tom Cruise became concerned that Posh's influence was having a negative effect on Katie's health. Then, perhaps in retaliation, Victoria neglected to invite TomKat to her intimate pre-birthday dinner. Now, we hear that Katie has begun to distance herself from the Spice Girl-turned-professional partygoer, likely due to the assertions of the press that she's "morphed into Posh." So who's to blame? As Showbiz Spy reports, it seems that Katie Holmes is the culprit behind the fractured friendship:"Holmes is annoyed Beckham is choosing to spend most of her time with new friends Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale."More »
knights of hubbard
The Beckhams Are Back On Tom Cruise's Approved Friend List
Last week, Victoria Beckham celebrated her 34th birthday alongside new friends Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale, but supposed close friends Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were nowhere to be seen. Naturally, we presumed that this was either a result of Tom's edict for Katie to stop spending so much time with Posh or an early warning sign that Team Cruise's controlling ways were too much for the Beckhams to handle. But at last night's star-studded birthday party for Posh, not only were Tom and Katie in attendance, but her Katie's choice of gown left us wondering if her curious absence earlier in the week was simply a means to hide the fact that Suri Jr. could possibly be on the way. More »
fractured friendships
Did Tom Cruise Successfully Oust Katie Holmes From Victoria Beckham's VIP Club?
Victoria Beckham and her razor-sharp cheekbones celebrated her 34th birthday last night alongside soon-to-be Yeshivite husband David, and two new female friends: Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale, both of whom were dressed to the nines in order to live up to the immaculately glamorous appearances Posh and her cronies tend to exhibit. But were Longoria and Beckinsale also trying to fill the stilettos of Beckham BFF, a role Katie Holmes has filled for so many years? Favored dining, uh, dieting companions Tom and Katie were noticeably absent from the festivities. Did Tom Cruise's wishes to keep Katie away from the bobble-headed Brit come true so quickly? More »
oh yes, they will have their revenge
In The World Of 'Pop Fiction,' Nothing Eva Longoria-Related Is What It Seems
If you've yet to catch an episode of E!'s Pap Smear Pop Fiction, yet another stroke of punking genius from ascending media tycoon and noted cougar-hunter Ashton Kutcher, we've included a clip above. In it, Eva Longoria, for whom fame has quickly turned into a serious drag (please, God, just return her to a life of anonymity, where she can carry out her various, regular-person functions in peace!), and a think-tank consisting of Kutcher and his staff of ingratiating "producers" concoct a deliciously devious plan to "rekindle the non-relationship" with Longoria's longtime platonic friend, Mario Lopez.
bees knees
Celebrity Knees Under Attack By British Press!
There's no two ways about it, Americans love obsessing over celebrity nip slips, vadge flashes and sex tapes (even if it is Gene Simmons...shudder). But the British tabs, being as posh as they are, have taken a more conservative approach to body part fascination: knees. While photos of the bony joints attached to Kate Moss, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez and Courteney Cox may not tighten your trousers, the names they've come up with for each gal's wheely kneelies give the NY Post a run for its money in the hed-writing department. Photos of The Sun's picks for Worst Knees, along with their snappy yet barely decipherable titles ("Eva Longoria's Tunnock's Teacakes Kneecaps"!), after the jump.
More »
short ends
He's A Pineapple
· For those of you who couldn't get enough of Deal Or No Deal's John (aka Mr. I Can Do 200 Of These), here's another clip of the retired New York City "gahbage" man whose battles with The Dealer are fast becoming the thing of legend.· File this one under questions you've always wanted to know the answer to but have always been too afraid to ask: "How many times is too many to take Plan B in a month?" Jezebel's Slut Machine has the answer ... ish.
· The Onion comes up with alternate titles for Over Her Dead Body, the new Eva Longoria Parker shitshow that's about to hit theaters.
· "What is it like in this world of youth, where a pedestrian tear-jerk cover of 'Time After Time' by Hoobastankian California bullshit artists Saosin is considered the height of emotion, and prom is as cliched as the one shown in the initial scenes of this sure-to-be-truly-horrifying remake of the classic 1980 slasher film Prom Night?" If you haven't yet been introduced to Detour, you're in for a treat.
· Lastly, Slate's Dana Stevens put together the best Heath Ledger piece that we read all day.
Shortly after being taken hostage by vigilante WGA picketers trying to disrupt a Desperate Housewives location shoot yesterday, distraught captive Eva Longoria attempted to purchase her freedom with some Domino's pizzas. After happily gobbling down the snack, her red-shirted tormentors laughed at her incredible naivety, reapplied her duct-tape gag, and rudely stuffed the actress back into her burlap sack, hinting that they might let her out for air again if anyone concerned about her continuing safety were to bring by some Starbucks. [wxyz.com/WENN Photo: AP]
There is truly no hope for humanity. Somehow, "several tabloids" reported that Eva Longoria's obviously fake, thoroughly unfunny parody of the Paris Hilton sex tape was real, necessitating that she now go on the record about the "scandal." [Extra]
Always on the cutting edge of comedy, Eva Longoria parodies the Paris Hilton sex tape of 2004. [Funny or Die]
