The result is something akin to what might happen if the CAA Death Star were to hover off from its Century City docking bay and touch down gently in the middle of the Burning Man festival. In the clip above, Ari loses the group, and in the process, all control of his perverse, stranglehold-reliant existence. Is it any wonder that as he panics among the boulders, he turns to his own rock—fiercely loyal gaysian henchman Lloyd—for guidance? With a sixth season announced today, we look forward to future episodes in which the lovable foursome pull off their socks and inject some of Roberts's premium brown sugar between their toes in a heroin-fueled attempt at divining whether or not Vinnie should take on the lead in Eight Below 2. [Entourage]

After the jump: Michael Douglas has a party, Woody Harrelson has a complex, and Bull Durham plots a return by Costner demand.

· Eighteen years after giving the hardware to his father, the American Film Instutute selected Michael Douglas to receive next year's Lifetime Achievement Award. [BBC]
· Kat Dennings is in talks to co-star in Defendor, featuring Woody Harrelson as a man who believes he possesses superhero powers and Dennings as the ADD-afflicted, poor-spelling neighbor girl who gives him his name. [THR]
· Kevin Costner, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are all reportedly in talks to return for Bull Durham 2: The Beer League Years. [Page Six]
· Crisis averted! After less than a day of protests, Bollywood's dancing girls and nearly 100,000 other actors, filmmakers and crew concluded their big-budget production Kuchi Kuchi Pay Us Bitches in record time. [NYT]

Boomp3.com

Thirsty Tuesday hit an unfortunate sour note for one fan of the popular HBO series Entourage when its star Adrian Grenier entered the bar. The fan attempted to confront Grenier about the program's declining quality but soon fled tearfully, leaving only boyfriend left in the bar. The boyfriend gave Grenier the Cliff Notes version of the situation, explaining how despondent she’s been since Entourage's slide. Never one to disappoint a fan, Grenier flew out of the bar, rushed down the street, caught up with the sobbing woman and gave her a big hug. He then clutched her tightly, leaning in to whisper something in her ear. The tears quickly faded into a smile and a look of optimism. Grenier and the woman left their embrace and started to walk back to the bar. “Also," Grenier added, "the economy is going to bounce back. It always does.”

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Alec Baldwin
Monk - Tony Shalhoub
The Office - Steve Carell
Pushing Daisies - Lee Pace
Two and a Half Men - Charlie Sheen

With last year's surprise winner Ricky Gervais out of the mix, the stage is set for Alec Baldwin to take home the first of what will most likely be several Emmys for his role as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock. Clinching the deal? Baldwin submitted the episode containing this season's instant classic therapy scene:

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Tina Fey
The New Adventures of Old Christine - Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Samantha Who? - Christina Applegate
Ugly Betty - America Ferrera
Weeds - Mary-Louise Parker

If this is not Tina Fey, Sarah Palin will have all the Emmy voters fired.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Entourage - Kevin Dillon
Entourage - Jeremy Piven
How I Met Your Mother - Neil Patrick Harris
The Office - Rainn Wilson
Two and a Half Men - Jon Cryer

While Neil Patrick Harris has had a career-best year, How I Met Your Mother is still little-seen. The Emmys fear change, especially in the comedy category (five-time winner Candice Bergen and four-time winner John Laroquette both eventually withdrew their names to give other actors a chance), so this award should go to the Pivs in a walk.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Pushing Daisies - Kristin Chenoweth
Samantha Who? - Jean Smart
Saturday Night Live - Amy Poehler
Two and a Half Men - Holland Taylor
Ugly Betty - Vanessa Williams

My Name is Earl's Jaime Pressly took home this award last year, but this time she's not even nominated (neither was dark horse Jenna Fischer for The Office). Kudos to Amy Poehler for becoming the first modern Saturday Night Live performer to score a supporting actor nomination, but Emmy loves a veteran, so we expect this to go to two-time winner Jean Smart.

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men

Curb Your Enthusiasm is a weak-fill in for last year's nominee Ugly Betty; frankly, we're surprised that the dazzling Pushing Daisies pilot couldn't muster up the votes to fill that fifth slot (the strike-truncated season could have sapped its momentum). All the buzz is with 30 Rock right now — not only did it win in this category last year, but none of its challengers are coming off their best seasons. If anything besides Tina Fey's expertly crafted sitcom wins, we promise to liveblog an episode of Two and a Half Men as penance.

Boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven spent a good portion of his lunch yesterday wondering why he didn't have any company. Piven asked his waitress at a New York City eatery if she thought that season premiere of his HBO laffer wasn't quite up to snuff. The waitress remarked, "Eh, I missed it. I was watching Mad Men on Sunday night and sort of flipping back and forth between the VMAs." Piven then asked her if she was planning on watching it On Demand, but the waitress shook her head "no", then excused herself by explaining that she needed to get Diet Coke refills over to Table 12.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven bucked the established order of the fashion world by sporting a pair of white pants after Labor Day in New York City on Tuesday. When asked why he dared to commit a fashion crime this heinous, Piven claimed that his pants weren't white, they were actually vanilla. Piven said, "They're vanilla bean colored — that's what my glam squad told me. Check the catalog."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• Entourage [HBO]

Boomp3.com

As a charter member of the Hollywood Welcome Wagon, Jeremy Piven did his best to welcome the city's newest resident on the set of Entourage. Piven listened intently as the woman explained her trials and tribulations in the big city of dreams and the differences here and back home in St. Paul, Minnesota. Piven confided to the woman that he also was a reformed midwesterner as well. Piven said, "After you have that first double-double from In-N-Out and watch the sunrise in Malibu and then get grossed out by a tranny on Santa Monica Blvd, you'll never want to go back there." Piven also slipped the woman his business card and said that the card would be for two free drinks at the Green Door on Thursday night.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Looking to recover from his recent split with actress Isabel Lucas, Adrian Grenier headed to the beaches of Malibu with his trusty acoustic guitar. A gaggle of women quickly circled around the hunky environmentalist as he began to bear his soul with some recently penned tunes. One woman was really impressed by the songs and suggested that he pursue his music for awhile. Grenier told the woman that he had weighed his options numerous times and is "thisclose" to hanging it all up and just riding the rails with a song in his heart. The woman replied, "That's so deep."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Jeremy Piven was all smiles as he left popular Los Angeles steak house STK on Tuesday night. Piven told the lens men he had a delicious steak dinner and was thrilled about Michael Phelps' domination in the summer Olympics. One of the paparazzi wasn't sure if Piven's smile was genuine and asked the Entourage star about his fantasy football team. Piven with a large smile said, "Aaron Rodgers for the win!" then disappeared into the darkness of the Hollywood Hills.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

1. Hey dumb asses at TMZ: It's "Colombian" not "Columbian." Sheesh. Where did you guys go to school?
Posted at 5:50PM on Aug 5th 2008 by Colombian

4. OMG HE IS A HOTTIE, I"VE ALWAYS HAD A MEAN CRUAH ON HIM!!! NOT PABLO, JUSTIN BUT I WOULDNT HAD MIND DATING PABLO IF HE WAS STILL ALIVE>>>$$$
Posted at 6:09PM on Aug 5th 2008 by me

5. He is not the eldest you dumb booty. the eldest was neil patrick harris he was just never home so before you post something that you think you are sure of, make sure to do some research mike!!!!!
Posted at 6:10PM on Aug 5th 2008 by me

8. Me, you need to do your own research. It isn't Neil Patrick Harris that was the oldest, it was Christopher Masterson.
Posted at 6:58PM on Aug 5th 2008 by someone

Of course, commenter someone is right: The eldest son was played by Christopher Masterson—the lesser-annoying sibling of bemuttonchopped man-about-town Danny Masterson—which would make Berfield the second-eldest, not eldest, Malcolm in the Middle child. And as much as we can sympathize with commenter me's admission that they wouldn't mind getting busy with the ruthless drug overlord (>>>$$$), we only wish that the various members of TMZ's volunteer research department didn't feel the need to diminish each other's fine work with demeaning aspersions like "dumb booty." After all—the only dumb booty is the one you don't ask.

• "Malcolm" Kid in Middle Over "Escobar" Flick [TMZ]

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Jeremy Piven further cemented his reputation as one of the most rebellious actors in Hollywood on Thursday afternoon. The Very Bad Things star boldly drove around Malibu while talking on his cellular phone, which is now an illegal activity in California. Piven said, "Headsets are for nerds ands squares and I'm not a nerd by any stretch of the imagination." Then Piven flexed his muscles and gunned through the light.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven had a shocking trip to his local bank on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, the ATM declared that the Pivs had insufficient funds in his account and spit out his ATM card. Piven told the ATM that wasn't cool and quickly re-inserted his card into the machine. Yet as soon as Piven put the card back in, it came back out. Pivs was about to kick the ATM when a bank employee came outside and said, "Oh, hi! The ATM has been on the fritz, telling everybody that they have insufficient funds and junk like that. Sorry for the trouble!" Piven then adjusted his suit jacket and declared that he's seriously considering joining a credit union.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

In between filming scenes for Entourage, Jeremy Piven warned beloved character actor Gary Cole to keep his flirting with female extras to a minimum unless he enjoyed being talked about the Howard Stern show and morning zoo radio shows. Piven said, "There's nothing quite like waking up to a Blackberry full of messages from your buddies on the East Coast talking about how some girl dragged your good name in the mud before getting on the Sybian or letting Beetlejuice throw lunch meat at her ass on the Stern show." Cole thanked Piven for the advice and told him that it wouldn't be an issue, seeing as how he's married.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Jeremy Piven most certainly felt the burn while jogging in Malibu on Monday afternoon. The Smokin' Aces star reportedly began to cramp up somewhere between mile two and three and attempted to walk it off. Piven slowly walked down the street, hoping that a car full of co-eds from near by Pepperdine University would come by and offer a ride back to his place. Alas, they never did, and Piven was forced to walk hands-on-hips all the way back to his place.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com



P.C.U. star Jeremy Piven thought the beach in Malibu was the place to be this summer, but the beaches appeared to be as empty as theaters showing The Love Guru. Piven skipped some stones into the ocean and attempted to build a sand castle before looking for his fellow beach bums. The popular actor caught up with a bronzed beach bum who was hiking up a flight stairs and asked where was everybody was. The bum said, "For starters, it's a Wednesday morning. Everybody's probably at work or just waking up. They're not all blessed like you and me with the ability to play volleyball or just hang out and drink beer and watch the sun fall behind the horizon line. You want to go in together on a case of Pacifico? Dos Equis?"

[Photo Credit: X17]

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Much like the rest of America, the cast and crew of Entourage's work took a back seat yesterday afternoon to watching the tantalyzing US Open playoff. At the start of the day, Turtle warned that he wouldn't be able to get into character unless he was could watch at least the last two holes of the legendary golf tournament. A portable television was quickly brought to set and soon, the entire cast crowded around the small set. A round of cheers erupted as Tiger nailed the birdie on 18; unsurprisingly, the pleas from the first A.D. for the cast to get back to work fell on deaf ears. When the tournament went into sudden death, Jeremy Piven offered Turtle the opportunity to copy down any five phone numbers from his black book in exchange for being able to hold the portable TV. At press time, it is unknown if Jerry Ferrara took Piven up on his offer.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

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Entourage star Kevin Dillon ran into some of New Jersey's finest at an appearance at The Pool in Atlantic City over the weekend. Not being a neophyte in the often perilous club-going-for-pay circuit, Dillon made sure that his rider contained a section which stipulated that he must be secluded from a majority of the club either behind a velvet rope or sequestered in the V.I.P. area. However, these precautions did not prove to be ironclad enough to prevent him from interacting with a few overzealous fans of the HBO series, who knocked down the red velvet rope and demanded to have their pictures taken with Dillon. One fan said, "How often is Johnny motherfucking Drama in the A.C.? Not that fucking often. No stupid rope is going to stop me and Frankie and Kari and Mary and Frankie #2 from getting our picture with him! We would've done the same thing if it was Derek Jeter or one of those Gossip Girls."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

“On a recent weekend, Jeremy rode the Planet Hollywood private jet from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and...started chatting about Entourage. [Piven] suggested that it would be fun to have [his seatmate] make an appearance...Jeremy was overheard calling a producer and telling him as soon as the plane touched down in LA.”

So which diva extraordinaire tickled Piven’s pickle so well she earned herself a much-needed spot on the HBO hit? Details after the jump.

Apparently Piven was seated next to one Miss Whitney Houston on the short plane ride in question, and something in her dilated eyes, crack pipe-wounded chuckle, and most importantly, her tightly packed and newly improved cleavage, inspired Jeremy to give this bitch one hell of a hug and offer her a cameo on Entourage. The mind reels just picturing what Piven has in mind — a competitive power agent who lures clients away using a goodie-packed drawer in her office? Turtle's new S&M-loving cougar crush? Ari's ex-wife's new lesbian lover (remember: lesbians are so hot this season)? We can hardly wait for the inevitable gossip stories involving ongoing on-set epic bickering between two of the most self-important stars around today.

[Photo credits: FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• JEREMY PIVEN IS ALWAYS WORKING [Janet Charlton]

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Entourage star Jeremy Piven was all smiles as he was seen exiting a Los Angeles area Coffee Bean. When asked by photographers about his mile long smile, Piven said, "I finally got her number." Then Piven went into great detail about how he had been coming to this particular location for nearly three months straight in an attempt to woo one of the store's employees. The extent of his obsession resulted in his doctor ordering to caffeine and sugar from his diet, but Piven insisted that he wouldn't give up on coffee because he had to get this girl to go out with him. Piven said, "I think part of the attraction for me was the fact that she didn't want anything to do with me. I mean, the past couple of years, it's been like shooting fish in a barrel. But now, having a challenge took me back to the days of when I picking up John Cusack's leftovers and having to be charming... I'll probably text her in a couple of days. Wait the standard amount of days, but I have a good feeling about this one." After Piven left, the paparazzi approached the The Coffee Bean Girl in an attempt to find out if it was, truly, love at first sight. She said, " I didn't know who he was. I don't have HBO or cable, but [co-worker] Kristy was all like, 'Dude, he's so famous. You could be on Pink Is The New Blog if you go out with him.' So Jeremy or, as we like to call him, 'Mr. Large Hazelnut,' just got me on the right day. I hope we go to Teddy's, but not Hyde, cause that's just a block away."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

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After learning about Ellen Pompeo's puppy paparazzi ploys, 27 Dresses star Katherine Heigl announced her intentions to create and develop a show based on her own personal entourage. According to sources on the scene, Heigl told her friends that her show wouldn't be that much different from the wildly popular HBO series. Heigl stated that the character based on her mother would sort of be like 'E' and that her mother's friend would sort of be like Turtle, only less prominently featured. Heigl's friend's character arc would be similar to Drama's but, once again, she probablly would not appear on the show that much either. Heigl said of her own character, "It'd be a combination of Ari and Vince and Me, but with a lot more ball busting and cupcakes! And Joshua would be like Ari's wife, completely non-existent, which is pretty accurate to Joshua. That'll show that Pompeo bitch for trying to steal my thunder!"

[Photo Credit: X17]

Among the many questions we would love to ask Emmy-winning beach yogi Jeremy Piven, one of our most pressing would be how he manages to convince so many bitches to hug him. Somehow the Entourage ringleader has earned himself the Womanizer reputation ever since throwing out his bit-part baldie wigs and zooming package-first into the spotlight. And as we’ve reported in the past, it can’t be due to his masterful pick-up lines. But thanks to a photo shot this weekend, we have ourselves an answer. Piven’s success with women predictably has less to do with his bravado and more to do with one very studly prop.

Yes, Piven has been reunited with his beloved busted Bronco. And now we finally understand why he looked so sad when his ride punked out on him at a gas station last month. It's his babe magnet! Piven and his macho ride were spotted helping a crowd of lost sun worshippers in the middle of the highway on Sunday, and even we must admit that Piven does look the slightest bit more at home in a hooptie than in the back of some random town car.

[Photo credits: Splash via Evil Beet]

• ALWAYS THE GENTLEMAN [Evil Beet Gossip]

As we can see, Chirqui was (not so) innocently trying to garner some press for her upcoming Adam Sandler-as-Israeli hair guru movie You Don't Mess With The Zohan by posing in various soft-core poses like the standard "I See You But You Can't See My Tits!" and "My Boobs Don't Fit In This Jacket Mr. Manager!" But the porky Malibu vice were concerned for the safety of all neighborhood residents, and reportedly "came by just to make sure things remained tasteful." While they'd probably be more useful checking in on the taste levels inside Britney Spears' and Lindsay Lohan's various drug and sex-laden abodes in the area, we suppose we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and believe their story, rather than dwell in fear that discrete tit-watch cameras lie on every street corner, sounding the alarm whenever a starlet is seen exposing a potentially dangerous amount of flesh.

[Photo credits: men.style.com]

• COPS SWOOP IN ON TOPLESS 'ZOHAN' SIREN [AOL Movie News]

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Gossip Girl Leighton Meester propositioned her Entourage co-star Adrian Grenier as a means to fight off boredom. Meester told Grenier that it wouldn't mean anything, it'd just be a little harmless kissing. Grenier thought about it for a moment, but said that he's kind of involved with somebody at the moment. Jerry Ferrara, better known as Turtle, quickly offered up his services as a time killer to Meester, but she said that she'll get back to him on that one.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

As Janet Charlton reports, Cameron and Kevin's alleged fling began over the weekend at a party thrown by celebrity hanger-on Ron Burkle: "Kevin obviously has a thing for tall blondes because he was deep in conversation with Cameron Diaz all evening. They were holding hands when they left together." All of these flings seem to indicate that Diaz is joining the boy-crazy bachelorette club, currently headed by Kirsten Dunst and Jennifer Aniston.The question is this: are these revenge-flings? Or should we just assume these girls are exactly what Gloria Steinem and Erica Jong had in mind for single women? We'll just wait until Diaz returns the very long and detailed voice mails we left on her publicist's assistant's assistant's office phone. Should be any minute now.

[Photo credits: Getty, FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• LOOK WHO HOOKED UP THIS WEEKEND! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

Jeremy Piven strikes again. The "Entourage" star and cad-about-town had a "knock-down, all-out screaming match" with a brunette by the pool area of Diddy's after-party for his Hollywood Star Walk of Fame ceremony.

Said our spy: "Jeremy was really chewing into the girl." Piven's reps didn't respond for comment.

We're suddenly overcome with the need to rise to Ari's defense: Can a guy with a strong opinion not make his point—albeit at a greatly elevated volume, complexion a deep beet-red, some wayward spittle-flecks landing into the cocktails of nearby guests—without being accused of having lost all sense of social decorum? Look: Ari yells, OK? That's how he communicates. That's how you know he cares. Just ask his mom. When he stops yelling, maybe mentions how nice it is to "finally see Pee-Didds get his due" while glancing over your shoulder at the next hot P.O.A. to saunter onto the veranda—that's when you should start worrying.

• Side Dish [nydailynews.com]

After wisely and deftly ignoring questions from the paparazzi regarding, of all things, Britney Spears' guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother, a wide-eyed Piven hopped into the driver's seat of his safari-ready meat wagon and rode off into the fluorescent light. But apparently even pricey gas guzzlers run out of steam, no matter how utterly awesome their drivers are. As the very sober and coherent observers at the nearby gas station where Jeremy pulled a switcheroo inform us, a $20 bill and salivation over peanuts played major roles in the twisted tale. We await the inevitable minute-by-minute updates on the orphaned car and the triumphant return of its owner from TMZ, surely camped out at the scene of the crime, with fractional interest.

• WHY CAN'T JEREMY PIVEN DRIVE HOME? [TMZ]

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The valet at the Malibu Nobu asked if, in lieu of the standard tip, he could have a much desired Hollywood moment and "hug it out" with Jeremy Piven. Piven reached for his wallet to only discover that it was full of large bills and slowly went in for the hug.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Under the influence, we could easily see Vince stripping down to his boxer briefs, coming across a curvy cactus, and mistaking it for long-lost love Mandy Moore. A tearful embrace will ensue, leaving Vince shredded and bloody after Prickly Mandy's thorny rejection. As for Eric, we predict his height complex will disappear as he begins to feel ten feet tall. He will attempt to climb the 5,000 foot-high Ryan Mountain barefoot (to feel at one with the terrain), and fingers crossed, fall to his death. Crew sherpa Drama will abandon the gang after spotting a bikini-clad casting director on the trails. Though it hasn't been confirmed that Ari will tag along, we would enjoy a scene in which he hugs it out with Turtle before devouring his plump limbs. We've been waiting for a Rex Lee spinoff anyway.

• 'ENTOURAGE' GETS PSYCHEDELIC THIS FALL [EW.com]

"It was my hope that in texting both ladies, I would make it onto Page Six, so everybody wins."

Oh yes, everybody wins! Except of course, for Jeremy's lovely model girlfriend, Lillian Grant, who he began dating late last year. How glorious it must feel to wake up in the arms of Ari Gold, fetch the papers and some coffee for your (we assume) demanding darling and hear from Page Six's Richard Johnson that said darling is a cheating liar. The one silver lining? Apparently Piven's go-to pick-up line is "Come meet me." At least that's better than, "Let's hug it out bitch(es)," right?

[Photo Credit: Hollywood Gossip]

• TWO AT A TIME [NY Post]

[Photos: X17]

• The Pivinator Becomes The Yoganator [X17Online.com]

10) SCROLL_LOCK - So how about we go home and I strike the beard out of you? (Ed. - Might have placed higher earlier this week.)

9) STARINGATSCREEN - So how about we go home and I LaBeouf the Shia out of you? (Ed. - The Babelfish translation is surely NSFW.)

8) THESTARTERWIFE - So how about we go home and I Axium the bounced paycheck out of you? (Ed. - Timely!)

7) HEIDIHO - So how about we go home and I Zucker the Silverman out of you? (Ed. - Don't drink too much Boone's Farm at the Ben Silverman Winter Prom next week or this could happen to you!)

6) HEIDIHO - So how about we go home and I Mark the Seth out of you? (Ed. - Preying on our sense of vanity, how dare you! Keep it up...)

5) JUPITERSPAW - So how about we go home and I chase the Vinnie in and out of you? (Ed. - Bonus points for the "in and out" addition.)

4) TRIXIE FROM TORONTO - So how about we go home and I Charles Nelson the Reilly out of you? (Ed. - Any chance we can get to reset this scrumtrilescent Alec Baldwin impression, we'll take it.)

3) ABACUS FINCH - So how about we go home and I Finke the strike out of you? (Ed. - We would say more, but we're kind of afraid of Nikke Finke.)

2) MAGNOLIA - So how about we go home and I diving bell the butterfly out of you? (Ed. - We're pretty sure this is a real move. Even if it isn't, we're betting you're going to try it out this weekend.)

1) DOUBLEBANGER - So how about we go home and I audit the thetans out of you? (Ed. No comment necessary here. Well played.)

Adrian: So how about we go home and I [verb] the [noun] out of you?

Provide your answers in the comments, and hilarity shall ensue!

• Adrian Grenier Pickup Lines: A Play in One Act [Radar]

At $15,000 per event plus expenses, Dillon's services don't come cheap, but we suppose the premium is an intentional one meant to distinguish the actor from downmarket fictional counterpart Johnny Drama, who requires no compensation beyond the promise that he'll have the opportunity to score some Viking Quest groupie tail immediately after his shopping mall ribbon-cutting responsibilities are complete.

• Esterman Entertainment [Esterman.com]