• The Tonight Show via AOL's Top 5

Variety, meanwhile, has a report from the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen set, where Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet, and the rest are passing the time playing Trivial Pursuit: Totally '80s Edition until their star gets back:

A DreamWorks insider said there was no work stoppage on "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"...but added that rescheduling has proven to be a logistical headache. Scenes featuring co-star Josh Duhamel had to be moved to this week to work around LaBeouf's absence. Another person familiar with the situation said, "Everyone had to adjust their schedule."

As if we needed to know that. Quit poking around and ruining the actor magic, nosey trade publication!

• LaBeouf injury slows 'Transformers' [Variety]

Reality star Khloe Kardashian – who served 173 minutes in jail last week for a 2007 DUI charge – has some advice for actor Shia LaBeouf, who was arrested for DUI after getting into a car accident on Sunday.

"Just be smarter," she told Usmagazine.com at the Annual Style L.A. Runway show benefitting the Facial Paralysis Foundation & Stop the Violence/Face the Music benefit, which she co-hosted with sisters Kim and Kourtney at the The Viceroy Hotel, Santa Monica, CA on Monday.

"Think about your actions and get a driver!" the 24-year-old counseled. "It's so much cheaper in the long run!"

What is this unfamiliar feeling? Could a reality TV star actually be right about something? What next, Elisabeth Hasselbeck deftly parsing Newtonian physics on The View? David Hasselhoff interrupting America's Got Talent to read aloud from Kierkegaard? Rene Fris speaking coherently on the set of Shear Genius?

• Khloe Kardashian to Shia LaBeouf: "Be Smarter" [Us Magazine]

Witnesses from the crime scene have since emerged, including passerby Brian Perrulli—aka Tobey Maguire's long-lost goth twin—who recalls a bystander recommending LaBeouf flee the scene (perhaps after placing a floormat over the vehicle and hoping no one noticed it?). But as he told Access Hollywood, Shia was having none of that:

“Shia was tending to the other people in the car, signing over information, like insurance and stuff and basically, I overheard the guy tell him, ‘You should just get out of here and go,’ and Shia said, ‘Nah man. I gotta deal with this. My license plate, it’s my car. I don’t wanna go, I gotta deal with this.’”

No, seriously: That's Tobey Maguire in a fright wig taping an episode of Pop Fiction, right? Meanwhile, in a stroke of pure metrosexualist-magazine serendipity, LaBeouf appears on the cover of the upcoming issue of Details. (Pictured above, pointing to his ticking love-engine with a still-healthy index finger. *Muffled sob.*) Inside, he's made to address a past checkered by lesser-severe brushes with the law, beginning with his infamous Walgreens skin-care-aisle sit-in:

"It was two hotheads," he says, "one completely in the wrong, one who wasn't enjoying his job that night, going at it about minuscule bullshit." [...]

[On] one of his and his [recovering substance-abuser] father's longtime bonding rituals: "We would drink together and smoke together," LaBeouf says, "and it's just a bad deal. It's not something that is conducive to being a role model—no iconic actors that I know of have problems like that. And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink."

Really? Not a single, fellow iconic actor, Shia? Off the top of our heads we can think of Drew Barrymore, Carol Burnett, Mel Gibson (not that he's going to help your case)...let's see—just about anyone interviewed for Suzanne Somers's Wednesday's Children: Adult Survivors of Abuse Speak Out. (What—Cindy Williams isn't iconic?) The problem isn't your dad, or learning how to "do it like a gentleman" and stopping after one. It's the minuscule bullshit of thinking your iconic actor beer-shit don't stink.

• SHIA LABEOUF CLEANS UP HIS ACT [Details]
• Witness Claims Man In Shia LaBeouf Crash Told Actor To Flee Scene [Access Hollywood]
• Isabel Lucas Fine After Car Accident with Shia LaBeouf [transworldnews.com]

There was an arrest at a Chicago area pharmacy—for, as he tells it, disturbing the Walgreen's peace on an alcohol-fueled cigarette and Clearasil run. There was an unlawful smoking citation in Burbank, and a bench warrant issued when he failed to appear in court. And there was that leaked video of a Five-Fingered Mexican Roulette session, in which the adolescent superstar taunted his slap-fight sparring partner with a gay slur.

Of course, that was was all just the overture for what was to come. Sunday morning at 2:30 a.m., LaBeouf made a left turn at the corner of LaBrea and Fountain. It was a seemingly simple driving maneuver made less so by three crucial factors: 1. The oncoming car didn't break in time. 2. He was drunk. 3. Michael Bay didn't shout, "Cut! Print! OK, let's move on to the Soundwave breakdancing sequence. Hustle, people—we're losing daylight!" through a bullhorn at the end of it. From the LAT:

The actor's Ford F-150 pickup truck rolled over in the crash.

LaBeouf injured his left hand and was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for surgery, according to Sgt. Kristin Aloma of the sheriff's West Hollywood station. LaBeouf's passenger and the other driver, both women, were treated for minor injuries and released.

LaBeouf, 22, "was exhibiting obvious signs of intoxication," Aloma said. He was cited for misdemeanor drunken driving instead of felony drunken driving because the injuries suffered by the others were minor, she explained.

Approached for comment, a LaBeouf spokesperson issued this statement: "Attorneys for Mr. LaBeouf confirm that an automobile accident involving an additional party occurred early morning in Los Angeles on July 27, 2008. Shia is currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of Transformers 2 within one month. No further comment will be issued at this time." The word "extensive" there concerns us, as anyone who has witnessed the actor's deft stiletto-twirling skills—or seen him opening a Heineken bottle using only a thumb and Zippo lighter, or even caught him smacking the shit out of one of his closest drinking buddies—knows that LaBeouf is a highly dexterous actor who requires full use of his hands. Developing...

• Actor Shia LaBeouf arrested in Hollywood on suspicion of drunk driving [LAT]

• "CSI" Star Popped for Heroin, Coke, Ecstasy [TMZ]

• Richie Off the Wagon — Popped For DUI [TMZ]

Jane, whose real name is Thomas Elliot, was nabbed in Kern County, Calif. by CHP officers. He has been charged with DUI and driving with a blood alcohol level above .08% — both misdemeanors.

CHP tells TMZ Jane was stopped in a late-model Maserati for driving at "an extremely high rate of speed" on I-5. We're told he failed several field sobriety tests, including a breathalyzer. Cops also say he was also driving with a suspended license.

A cooperative Jane was taken to the pokey and he's already out. His arraignment is set for April 9th.

Let Mr. Jane's poor judgment be a cautionary tale for all of you planning on celebrating the ancient Celtic rite of the Drink-'Til-You-Puke Festival: Law enforcement is out in force. As is our custom in these matters, we'll update with a mugshot just as soon as one becomes available; we feel compelled to warn you, however, that Jane's rugged, slightly menacing features should lend themselves well to the medium, producing none of the surprise, awwww-inducing pleasures of, say, celebrity booking photos of toking, castaway gnomes.

• Thomas Jane Popped for DUI [TMZ]

The former star of "The O.C." was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, driving while having a 0.08 percent or higher blood alcohol level, driving without a valid license and possession of 28.5 grams or less of marijuana, according to court papers.

"The D.A.'s office is to be commended for treating this case the same as it would any other matter; Ms. Barton has received no special treatment," Salerno said.

Barton was scheduled to be arraigned on Thursday in Beverly Hills Superior Court.

We've no doubt the D.A. will continue to show Barton the same treatment that any other tanked, high, lane-straddling road menace starlet would receive in a similar situation, and that once her sentence is handed down, she'll be forced to serve out whatever fraction-of-an-hour the California penal system deems sufficient to repaying her debt to society. Barton is as good as rehabilitated.

• Mischa Barton Facing 4 Misdemeanors [abcnews.go.com]

UPDATE: Gas station attendant down!

TMZ has learned 18-year-old Barron Hilton, Paris' little brother, was arrested for DUI in Malibu at 8:30 AM this morning!

Cops tell TMZ he was driving a black Mercedes on Pacific Coast Highway with a passenger — not one of his sisters— when he was pulled over at a 76 gas station.

He's currently in the process of being booked at the Lost Hills Sheriff's station — the same place Mel Gibson was taken.

The obvious question this elicits: How and why was he drunk at 8:30 a.m? Two possibilities come to mind: One, that he had been drinking throughout the night and into the morning hours. This, of course, worries us, as Monday night Grey Goose-binges starring the world's most privileged minors can only spell disaster. The other isn't nearly as ominous, as it involves a champagne breakfast with the Hiltons at the Saddle Peak Lodge: Proposed as a get-together to help the young, wayward Hilton back on track over a delicious meal of wild boar sausages and waffles, it quickly devolved into Rick, Kathy, and the rest chugging flute after flute of Veuve Clicquot, lost in a cascade of giggles and fond reminiscences, while failing entirely to broach the serious subject of what reality shows and fragrance plans Barron has lined up for his future.

UPDATE: PageSix.com is reporting Barron hit a 76 station employee between 6:00 and 6:30 a.m. The worker was knocked to the ground, but isn't injured. Still, he insisted on calling the cops to the scene, cementing himself a permanent place in Hilton Family criminal history.

• Like His Big Sister, Paris' Bro Gets a DUI! [TMZ]
• Barron 'Crashed Into Worker' [pagesix.com]

He was granted a request to serve his time in suburban Glendale's city jail rather than in the overcrowded downtown Los Angeles County jail. The trade-off was that he could not shave any time off his sentence for good behavior or early release because of overcrowding.

The actor must also serve five years probation and complete an 18-month alcohol education program and attend weekly therapy sessions for six months.

Does this mean we'll never again experience the mixed-with-the-drunken-locals Kiefer of old, who giddily hopped between various Eastside dive establishments where everyone knew his name, and probably would have even if he wasn't constantly saving the world in day-long increments on Fox? Tell us it ain't so, as a Silver Lake bereft of sauced Kiefer sightings sounds to us as desolate as a Valencia after a suitcase-nuke detonation.

• '24' star Kiefer Sutherland released from jail [LAT/AP]

· Passenger Andreas Zedini, 34, of Italy, died at Ventura County Medical Center. Firefighters had to pull him from the wreckage.
· Avary was arrested on suspicion of felony driving under the influence and was booked into Ventura County Jail before he posted $50,000 bail.

This all amounts to a triple-decker shit sandwich for one of the founding fathers of the legendary Video Archives in Manhattan Beach. At this point we're just praying that Mrs. Avary pulls through OK.

• 'Pulp Fiction' co-writer arrested after fatal crash [LAT]

She takes full responsibility for her foolhardy actions in the interview, though places a tiny bit of the blame on all of L.A., which, unlike her commuter-friendly hometown of New York, renders it so very difficult to drag oneself home after getting obliterated without the use of one's own vehicle. She also expresses concern that the event will somehow lump her in with a certain breed of messier starlet whose names shall go unmentioned—yet why the former paramour to Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis and Cisco "Balls" Adler would ever think such a thing is anyone's guess. And a special thank-you to Defamer videographer Molly McAleer, who has set the audio clip to an enchanted image party composed entirely of magical creatures, some of which might have danced through the heads of subject and/or interviewer at any given moment throughout the conversation.

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• Mischa Barton Busted for DUI [TMZ]

Sources tell Hollyscoop EXCLUSIVELY that actress Mischa Barton was arrested in the wee hours this morning! She was handcuffed and arrested at 2:46AM last night and booked at 3:10AM.

Mischa was arrested on the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica Blvd in Los Angeles late last night in her white Range Rover for Driving Under the Influence and driving without a license.

Her bail amount is set at $10,000.

TMZ also reports that the thespian who so vividly brought Marissa Cooper's every pool-furniture-thrashing to life on The O.C. is still in custody, that the Sheriff's Department's "Inmate Information Center" mistakenly input her name as "Mischa Burton," and that she was charged with possession of narcotics—ominous italics ours. (A white Christmas?) We promise to update you with a mugshot just as soon as one is made available, and that shouldn't be long, but may we suggest using the few minutes until then for a booking-shot guessing game? Half-smile? One eye closed? Nolte hair? Place your bets.

• Mischa Barton Arrested! [Hollyscoop]

· Still wracking your brains trying to come up for the perfect, last-minute present for the loved one who has everything? How about driving them insane with personalized postcards from an unsigned maniac in a tiny Polish village?
· Is it Christmas?
· What's Jesus's birthday without occasional Defamer guest-contributer Nick Malis's musical ode to the loneliest holiday?
· We plan on spending our Christmas working on our Guitar Hero 3 game, though we have a ways to go until we even approach the insane skill-levels of Conrad the Great. Meanwhile, those of you who don't find Xmas 2008's Most Wanted under your tree this year can still get in on the fun with Handbell Hero.
· Well, that's it, everyone. True, we're Jewish, but in the spirit of inclusionism, we're out of here until Wednesday. All the best to you and yours. Chag Samayach!

Unlike some of her cokepant-wearing, freeway-current-disregarding compatriots, whose debts to society were deemed sufficiently paid in under 90 minutes, Rodriguez will be serving all 180 days (that's six months!), more than enough time to compose several collections of verse, and mount a fairly ambitious, all-girl production of The Music Man, in a continuation of the important jailhouse arts initiative program she began during her last stint behind bars.

• Former 'Lost' Star Reports to Jail [AP]
• Rodriguez to Spend Xmas in the Pokey [TMZ]

"He's not happy to be here," Officer John Balian says, "but you can tell from his demeanor that he's sorry and takes responsibility for what's he's done."

Sutherland spent his first full day on Thursday folding jail laundry. He also had cornflakes for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch and chicken a la king for dinner.

The 24 actor, who is housed alone in a cell, has also been assigned to serve meals to the other eight to 10 inmates, one of whom was recently arrested for attempted murder - on four people. [...]

The only interaction Sutherland will have with other inmates is when he slides a tray of food through slots in their cell doors.

He also has shower access twice a day.

As of Thursday evening, Sutherland had not had any visitors. However, Balian says that the actor brought several books to keep him busy.

While Sutherland appears to be adjusting well, we'd caution his fans that he might well emerge from this month-and-a-half-long ordeal a changed man, looking not unlike his hirsute, scarred alter ego after two years in a Chinese political prison. So while it will be a relief to know he again walks among us, expect none of the jubilance of, say, Paris Hilton's own liberation day, as we're having trouble envisioning Jack Bauer coquettishly strutting down a jail-release red carpet with a half-cocked smile, flashbulbs popping as he suddenly makes an overjoyed dash towards an awaiting SUV and into the arms of his loving father, Donald.

• Kiefer Sutherland a 'Model Prisoner' [People]

Actor Mickey Rourke is in a Miami jail after being arrested for driving under the influence while riding a Vespa scooter erratically in Miami Beach.

The police officer stated that Rourke got off the 2007 green Vespa scooter after being stopped and stated, "What the (expletive) did I do?"

The officer said Rourke had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath. After failing a field sobriety test, Rourke was arrested on charges of driving under the influence.

He remains in the Dade County Jail and his bond has been set at $1,000.

The scenario seems somewhat harsh for such an accomplished actor's Vespa-swerving crimes—and it's rendered all the more tragic when one imagines the other dozen or so detainees cowering silently on the far end of the holding cell, lest they rouse the loudly snoring Sin City star from his sleep and be forcibly subjected to another sparring match, or worse, the actor's rambling anecdotes about how Kim Basinger's skin tasted like "a combination of mangos and moustache wax."

• Actor Mickey Rourke Arrested In Miami Beach [local10.com]

· Kiefer's night in lockdown had no immediate effect on 24's shooting schedule, though there's no telling what extended jail time might do to affect the season, or President Cherry Jones's ability to fend off a nuclear threat posed by lesbian-denying Iranian terrorists. [THR]

· Jack "Lauded" Bauer wasn't going to allow one little DUI prevent him from accepting another honor from a grateful nation: This time, the nation was Canada, and the honor was an ACTRA award for commitment to his northern homeland and their native acting peoples. [Variety]
· Unfortunately, as of posting time, Canada's national newspaper doesn't know how to spell their own favorite son's name. [theglobeandmail.com]
· A Canadian journalist breaks down his first post-arrest day like an episode of 24. We're glad you find this so hilarious, Kiefer's supposedly appreciative country! [thestar.com]
· More Commonwealth Kiefer Coverage fun-facts: In England, it's called "drink-driving," and yes, that does sound weird, but no weirder than a "drugs overdose." [news.bbc.co.uk]
· Here's a shocking video of Kiefer signing autographs outside Area the night of the arrest. We know! We can hardly believe it, either! [TMZ]

Jackson police arrested television actor Austin Nichols early this morning on suspicion of drunken driving and lodged him in the Jackson County Jail. [...]

Lt. Aaron Kantor said a city police officer stopped Nichols' car on N. Jackson Street at Louis Glick Highway at 2:30 a.m.

The 27-year-old actor was administered a breath test at the scene and hauled to jail.

Kantor said a blood-alcohol content measurement was not available yet this morning.

Nichols once described his mysterious character as "a purifier...I take [negativity] in and drop all the evil and give back to you pure joy"— a tactic that works better in impenetrably esoteric premium cable dramas than it does in the practical world of Michigan law enforcement, who responded to his suggestion that they consider "putting away the breathalyzer and taking out the love" with the very non-Christian sentiment, "How about saving the hippie-dippie special-needs talk for your boyfriend Dylan McKay, Sopranos-killer?"

• HBO series actor pulled over on DUI suspicion [mlive.com]