According to the weekly, it was none other than controversy-free Jennifer Connelly:

"Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. 'Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover.'"

Though we suspect Johansson would have been the target of Aniston's venom had she been free for the shoot, we're more than a little surprised to hear Connelly received the wrath (and the boot) from the other Jennifer. While Barrymore met her own boy toy Justin Long on set and Ginnifer's still dating Katie Holmes' leftovers, these two are unmarried just like Aniston. Connelly's been married for centuries in Hollywood time, and has kids to prove it. Which, of course, makes perfect sense on second thought. If Aniston wasn't going to "hit it off" with one of the movie's other leading ladies, it would have to be the sole hitched actress. We suspect Connelly's ejection had less to do with personality clashes than Aniston's desire to appear like a Barrymore/Goodwin peer, all single and tan and carefree, rather than part of the mature woman's yin to the young gal's yang.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, FilmMagic]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JENNIFER CONNELLY HAVING OFF-SCREEN FEUD [Celebritique]

Though inching your digits inside the shorts of your incredibly hot girlfriend may not be the classiest move, we'd watch a porno starring Enrique and Anna any day. As for Drew and Justin, the more photos and TMZ clips we see of this couple, the more we approve. They're cute. Even when they kiss in cars. Which is usually just plain awkward. And so what if TomKat are nutcases? This classic dip Tom pulled off in Rome early on in their relationship is as romantic as it gets.

Oh dear. The boob-grab from behind? While making eye contact with some other chick off-camera? Sorry Billy Bob, but that whole crass thing you made work with Angelina became instantly uncool the second you dumped her. As for this picture of Britney Spears gleefully grabbing K. Fed's crotch on a balcony for all the paps to see, well, even writing a snarky comment on it might make us physically ill. And just in case you didn't think the idea of kissing Nicole Kidman was horrifying enough, Us has thankfully provided us with proof. Yeah, thanks. A lot.

[Photo credits: INF, Flynet, Bauer-Griffin, BE Images via Us, Wireimage]

• CELEBRITY PDA! [Us]

In today's installment: Russell Crowe, Drew Barrymore, Kiefer Sutherland, Teri Hatcher, Matthew Perry, Chris "Mr. Big" Noth, Chrissie Hynde, Jemaine "Flight Of The Conchords" Clement, Mindy Kaling, Samantha Mathis (with Keith Carradine!), Werner Herzog, Dax Shepard (with Bradley Cooper!), Cedric Yarbrough and Professor Cornell West.

APRIL 10
· Another Matthew Perry Trivia sighting at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena on Thursday. His team of 4, "Dos Dedos", only contained one dressed-up young lady this time, and most likely took first right in front of the antagonistically-named "Bing's Bingers". I say "most likely" because I left before they announced my losing score...

APRIL 11
· Standing in line with all the middle aged punkers at the X reunion show at the Henry Fonda Theatre was Chrissie Hynde...She looked great and didn't look like she's had any work done...couldn't believe she had to wait in line with the rest of us!

APRIL 12
· Drew Barrymore was at the Derby Dolls roller derby on Saturday night April 12th. Here is some photographic evidence.

· I was having lunch at Cafe '50's in Sherman Oaks around 1pm. I couldn't help but notice that every 10 minutes or so, a group of girls ages 7-12 (?) wearing colored bandanas (different colored than the last group, not different colored from each other) with an assigned parent or guardian would come in and have their photo taken by the jukebox (I heard one mother saying it was a scavenger hunt). After 2 or so waves of bandana-wearing tots, Teri Hatcher came in leading the Pink Bandana group. She wasn't wearing much makeup and politely asked for the someone to take the group's photo (that's a switch) by the jukebox. Then they were off, presumably to find 12 bottlecaps or some such that was next on the scavenger list.

APRIL 13
· Russell Crowe with his wife and boys strolling around the Century City mall on Sunday afternoon. They looked like every other family suffering from heat exhaustion.

· Mindy Kaling from The Office having a brunch at Joan's on Third. Met up with some (nonfamous) friends, looked cute and casual, drives an adorable Mini Cooper.

APRIL 14
· Samantha Mathis and Keith Carradine (don't think they were together but stranger pairings have happened in this town) at the Arclight on Monday night. I assume they were there for the special screening that little me wasn't invited to because I didn't see them at my screening of The Visitor. Just before the movie, as I was exiting the ladies room I passed Carradine entering the men's room undoing his pants several feet before the doorway. Note to guys: ick.

· Today at approx. 5:00 PM at the Starbucks in Dana Point, Chris Noth and his girlfriend walked into my Starbucks and ordered a drink. Chris ordered a Chai Tea Latte and his girlfriend had a chop chop pasta salad. They were not with the baby. His girlfriend seemed very very nice. She actually asked for a fork from me and I told her where they were but we were out so I went to the back to get some and brought back one to her and handed it to her and she said thank you and was very nice about it. However, Chris was sort of a dick. Not really a dick to me but a total dick to his girlfriend. Anyways, I thought this was a notable celebrity sighting..

APRIL 16
· could have sworn i saw Jack Bauer at Dan's Subs in the Valley. He even had the arm tats, looked great clean shaven ...he was not with the woman from ny. He had his arm wrapped around a different raven haven hair chic. Much more busty and shorter. at one point he called her Janet (or maybe Janice). He was very happy and relaxed.

· Today at the Koo Koo Roo on Wilshire I saw Cedric Yarbrough, Jonesie from Reno 911. He was hanging out by himself eating lunch listening to something on his earphones. I don't want to say anything bad about him being there or being lame or anything like that because I LOVE Reno 911 and my boyfriend doesn't, so there.

· Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords waiting to cross Los Feliz Boulevard at Hillhurst. Had to look twice because, although that block of the street is not so lousy with hipsters, Clement was blending in with his surroundings. Is he staying in one of the big-ass apartment buildings on the north side of Los Feliz?

APRIL 17
· Saw Werner Herzog at Hollywood Video on Westwood Blvd. ask the clerk if they had a used copy of 'Jungle 2 Jungle' on VHS. [Ed. Note - Really?]

APRIL 18
· Odd couple Dax Shepard & Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck, Wedding Crashers) at Katsuya in Studio City.

APRIL 19
· Toast on 3rd Street, today. Was putting my name on the host's list, when I saw an older man in a black suit out of the corner of my eye. I told my friend, "Huh, that orthodox dude looks like Cornell West." And It WAS Cornell West! He was having lunch with a more casually attired Tavis Smiley. The PBS whore in me was totally freaking out.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

These kid pimps (usually mothers) push their tiny tots into the limelight, despite the tragedies that have befallen so many who came before them. This list of the "Top 25 Child Stars" is more a gallery of sadness than the tribute to talent we all wish it was. Sure, you've got your few who managed not to lose their marbles (Christian Bale, Elijah Wood), but they are few and far between. Out of 25 kid actors, two were married EIGHT times each, four became addicted to coke in their teens (though technically Drew Barrymore was only 12 when she started snorting what she may have actually thought was nose candy), four were married or pregnant by 20, and the rest are just a grab bag of crazy. Heroin addicts and a manic depressive make the list, as does one who was well on her way to normalcy ... until her stalker shot the President.

Not making the list of great child stars? Robert Blake, the Little Rascal who shot his wife. Carl Switzer, the Little Rascal who got shot by his bookie. The whole cast of Diff'rent Strokes.... And, more importantly, all the child actors who never became stars, but lived through all the same traumatic experiences as their more successful counterparts. But don't bother telling this to a mom with dollar signs in her eyes, as Danny Bonaduce tried to recently when he took a busload of bad parents down the Sunset Strip and heartfully told them the painful stories of many young stars. Right after pointing out the spot where River Phoenix OD'd and died as his teenage brother Joaquin watched, Bonaduce says, "Show hands if you still want stardom for your kid, and you think you can handle it for sure." And they all do, without a single moment of hesitation.

Here's the complete list:
25. Kirsten Dunst
24. Lindsay Lohan
23. Sean Astin
22. Keisha Castle-Hughes
21. Natalie Wood
20. Christian Bale
19. Abigail Breslin
18. Elijah Wood
17. Jodie Foster
16. Haylie Mills
15. Freddie Highmore
14. Freddie Bartholomew
13. Anna Paquin
12. Christina Ricci
11. Tatum O'Neal
10. Haley Joel Osment
9. Elizabeth Taylor
8. Patty Duke
7. Jackie Cooper
6. Dakota Fanning
5. Drew Barrymore
4. Mickey Rooney
3. Judy Garland
2. Macaulay Culkin
1. Shirley Temple

• Top 25 Child Stars [Moviefone]

boomp3.com

Drew Barrymore recently complained to friends over her dissatisfaction with her iPhone. The Charlie's Angels star doesn't have the heart to tell her boyfriend, Mac Spokesperson Justin Long, that she wants to go back to her old phone. Barrymore explained that she enjoys watching YouTube videos like the sneezing panda whenever she feels blue its just that her Blackberry is her Blackberry and she needs it back. One of Barrymore's friend thought that the iPhone and the Blackberry pretty much did the same thing to which an angry Barrymore replied, "The iPhone is good and all, but the Blackberry is like the phone that God would use if God ever had to make a conference call."

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

• oprah.com

In today's episode: Sacha Baron Cohen; Adam Sandler and Richard Dreyfuss; Drew Barrymore; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Omar Epps, and Arye Gross; Hayden Christensen; Jason Schwartzman; Chad Faust; Kirstie Alley; Howie Mandel; Nick Nolte; Mickey Rourke; Heidi Klum and Kathleen Robertson; Dylan McDermott; Lauren Graham; Justin Long; Rob Corddry; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; David Boreanaz; Emily Deschanel and Zachary Quinto; Nicky Hilton, David and Jeff Katzenberg; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Danny Bonaduce; Brooke White; Monty Hall and Gary Owens.

· I saw Sacha Baron Cohen doing filming as Bruno (gay Austrian) at On Your Marks Studio in Sherman Oaks on Feb. 21st. He was dressed in tight leather black pants with a bedazzeled g-string showing. his hair was frosted blond and straight. He was interviewing parents with their children pretending to be an german / austrian ad agent looking for a child to do a car commercial. He asked questions like : are you willing to film your child with ants? bees or wasps? dogs? ect. very funny.

· Feb 20 - Adam Sandler was in the dining room of the Polo Lounge in a green t shirt at a table with a bunch of little kids. Kind of awesome. Then, in the lobby, a very old woman said, "I want something nice to snack on!" Her date, or friend, or companion, or whatever, an old guy who looked a bit like a shriveled Einstein, said, "Oh, something to do like THIS?"—and mimed shoving a candy bar in his mouth. Would it surprise you if I said that the wisened little man was Richard Dreyfuss?

· I'm simply shocked (shocked!) no one sent in Drew Barrymore at the Derby Dolls game on Saturday night (Feb 16). She sat front and center in the VIP section with some moody hipster types. I later saw her jumping up and down, all smiles talking with star jammer Mila Minute. Maybe Drew's scouting extras for her directorial debut? I've even got some photographic evidence.

· 2/20 Hugo's Studio City - Gwen, Gavin and Kingston Stefani-Rossdale looking magnificent, Arye Gross of "Ellen" notoriety, Omar Epps who only tip waitresses and the last time I saw Hayden Christensen there he hit on me, but I refuse to disclose the identify my sex.

· Feb 25 - This weekend I had two sightings at M Cafe de Chaya on Melrose. Saturday I saw Jason Schwartzman looking very cute with a nice healthy glow. Must be all that delicious Cafe M macrobiotic food! Someone was blocking his car in and he was very patient and polite. Sunday I went back to Cafe M for more deliciousness and saw Chad Faust from the USA show the 4400. I must be one of seven people that watch that show but man is the boy hot.

· Kirstie Alley: Saturday Feb 23 eating at Gingergrass in Silver Lake with two teen age girls and a couple 20 something chicks. One of her guests was eating salad; from the detritus on her plate, KA had KO'd a plate of sauteed meat and rice. KA had no make up and was dressed in large casual clothes. She's full figured but not obese, though some alpha hydroxy or laser around the lips and chin would def be a suggestion—more so than weight loss—for prettying up. No idea what they were gabbing about, they were too far away to eavesdrop on.

· last Thursday (Feb 21), having lunch in the 'bu at coogie's on pch, when who should walk in but the be-chromed dome himself, howie mandel. he was with a couple and the three of them were seated in the booth next to mine. i listened carefully as they discussed what they were going to order and waited to see what it was going to be for howie - a meal or no meal.

· then on friday, again in the 'bu, i was enjoying my delicious high protein burrito from howie's taqueria in the malibu country mart, when i see a tall-ish, dishevelled man walking my direction, wearing diaphanous, black man-made fiber pants, a black man-made fiber trench coat and a straw fedora-esque hat with a whole lotta crazy hair trying to escape from under it. as the gentlemen gets close i realize it's malibu's second favorite DUI son - nick nolte! aside from the air of crazy he exudes, what was most striking was the fact that he was wearing all that black and all that clothing in close to 80 degree weather.

· Feb 26 - I'm getting some work done at the Santa Monica Public Library, but some guy keeps snoring really loudly. I look up and am completely un-surprised to find that it's Mickey Rourke, sunglasses on and feet propped on a canvas bag. A girl politely wakes him up, and he proceeds to hit on her. Yes, that all sounds about right.

· It was a double dose of celebrity fun at 25 Degrees this afternoon (February 21st). Shortly after being seated in the far back booth for lunch, my friends and I spotted Kathleen Robertson of 90210 fame. Looking pretty and casually dressed, she ate with an older couple. Service for our meal was a little on the slow side (per usual), until it came time to pay the check and have our plates cleared. It was then we were informed that Heidi Klum needed a table — our table. We barely had a chance get up and walk away before Heidi and her entourage took over. She was shorter than I imagined; let's say 5'8".

· 2/25 - Dylan McDermott looking just as pretty as you'd expect Dylan McDermott to look cruising through Santa Monica in a black Porsche.

· 2/23 at Mexico City in Los Feliz: Lauren Graham sat in the booth next to us. She was with a couple and was looking fabulous. Still quite the (fictional) MILF!

· getting off the 10 at the 4th/5th st exit into santa monica, got cut off by some douche in a black prius. i'm able to use a pit maneuver and get in front of said douche, check my rearview and i see justin long. boytoy was in a hurry to get down to main street.

· Feb 21 - This morning! Rob Corddry! Jogging! In my neighborhood! (Almost ran over him with my car, but we won't mention that part in the awesomeness of the occasion.) Am wondering what he's doing hanging out so close to the place where they stash all the American Idol contenders each year.

· On Thursday, Feb. 28th, at about 10:10 am, I spotted David Boreanaz exiting a gas station on the corner of La Cienga and Holloway. He was in his silver mercedes, looking quite handsome.

· Feb 21 - Emily Deschanel and Zach Quinto of Heroes were at Brently Heilbron and Liz Feldman's Awesome War Show at the Comedy Central Stage Wednesday.

· Saw Zachary Quinto more times than I'd like to remember in the Silverlake hood. He seems to really think he's someone really special. He wears a hoodie over his head really low when he goes into Intelligentsia café—you know, incognito, cause he's so famous. Also, last Friday (Feb 15) at Akbar (in hood) he was occupying the service area, so the nice-guy bartender asked him to move. He refused, and actually pulled out the "Do you know who I am?" line.

· Didn't expect a star sighting at The Ivy morning of the Oscars because
I figured nobody in this town would be eating until 9pm that night,
but lo and behold, in walked Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg, along with Jeff Katzenberg and I'm assuming a whole slew of other Katzenbergs. Things must be getting serious for Nicky if she's allowed to crash fam brunch...

· Feb 25 - I saw Christopher Mintz-Plasse (also known as McLovin of Superbad fame) coming out of a showing of Diary of the Dead at the Universal City Walk AMC Theatre on Saturday the 23rd. He was wearing a cap somewhat low (maybe so he wouldn't be recognized) but he was on his cell phone talking and I definitely recognized his voice

· Driving South on LaBrea approaching 3rd St, right by Trader Joes on Monday afternoon (2/25) when I looked out the window and spotted a unicyclist pedaling furiously on the sidewalk. Just as I was wondering to myself, just why unicyclists do what they do, I realized that this unicyclist was none other than Danny Bonaduce. And, well, since I don't understand anything he does, I just kept driving.

· Thursday night, 2/28, at the Westwood Urban Outfitters. The store had closed five minutes prior when a couple girls and a guy try to make their way in. Of course, they were denied entry by the sales staff but then the man starts pleading, saying she knows what shirt she needs. The cashier relents and that's when a perky blonde runs over to the shirt table. As soon as she opened her mouth, I recognized her as America's favorite LDS nanny from American Idol, Brooke White. I guess they do pick out their own clothes after all. I'll be looking for that white long sleeved shirt this Wednesday.

· Feb 20 - Gosh-a-roony! Just saw Monty Hall and Gary Owens (Millenials, you can Wiki them) waiting for their cars with a couple equally-aged buddies outside Factor's...Seemed pleasant in demeanor...Just four dudes kibbitzing after lunch. I grew up watching Monty and Gary back in the good old three broadcast network days, so me thinks it's always good to see some of the old school still reprezent. Bye.

Sounds like bad news to us. Of course, this forces us to dredge up the painful memories of that gleeful marriage proposal that Tom Green made on SNL in 2000, which ended up with Drew playing the part of runaway bride. Another thing we noticed? All these lesser-famous paramours of Drew seem to have one thing in common: after the inevitable breakups, their star power coincidentally takes a well-timed leap...

For example, Fabrizio Moretti had always been "the hot one" among The Strokes, but after hooking up with Drew, he earned mag profiles and spreads, and raging hordes of new female fans. Then there was Tom, who we suspect may not have even been asked to host SNL if it weren't for the potential presence of Drew in the audience. And Long? He's gone from That Annoying Mac Guy to Next Big Thing ever since word spread that the two had met and fallen for each other on the set of He's Just Not That Into You. We can only pray that this "worldwide announcement" involves not yet another live proposal, but the very first live break-up on national television.

[Photo Credit: BauerGriffin]

UPDATE! Us has mysteriously removed their story featuring those beachy pics. Developing...

• DREW BARRYMORE AND JUSTIN LONG'S SEXY MEXICO VACATION [Us]

In today's episode: Oprah Winfrey; Carla Gugino and Elizabeth Berkley; Brad Pitt and Zahara; Alec Baldwin; Kiefer Sutherland; Dave Chapelle; Forest Whitaker; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy; Woody Harrelson; James Spader; Tim Roth; Lisa Kudrow; Rob Schneider; Dylan McDermott; Gil Bellows, Ken Olin, Justin Kirk, and Cameron Crowe; Mischa Barton; Jason Segel; Adam Levine; Emilie de Ravin; Seth Binzer; and Luenell.

· Monday 4th Feb, heading to Runyon Canyon, stopped at the gas station at Sunset & Fairfax for some much needed agua. Dude took my money & then continued his conversation with another customer..."so, looks like your guy is two points ahead". A glance at said customer revealed none other than OPRAH WINFREY! Took me a sec to realize it was her - huge D & G wraparounds, black tracksuit and girlfriend...that is some booty ya got going on. Let's hope the snacks she was perusing were for the 2 white yapping small dogs in the Merc outside. As if that's not enough, descending from said hike, passed two fresh faced beauties talking & walking up the hill. CARLA GUGINO & ELIZABETH BERKLEY. Both cute & skinny...no surprise there.

· I was headed to see "Cloverfield" at The Grove when I heard some commotion behind me. I turned to see Brad Pitt carrying Zahara and being accosted by a tenacious paparazzi photog. The guy was a total pest, but Pitt kept his cool. As he shook the photo-spaz, I heard Pitt reassuring Z. that everything was okay and basically apologizing to her that she had to go through that. I felt bad, but quickly thereafter felt worse for myself that I had to shell out $11.50 to see somebody shoot a home movie of Godzilla.

· Alec Baldwin Friday 2/2 at the Starbucks in Studio City. Contrary to his well-known cellphone-screaming history, though, he was quiet and polite. Waited in line, tipped well and held the door for people on the way in and out. That peacoat and widewale cords weren't doing him any favors, though. He was looking, um, stocky, to say the least.

· Saw Kiefer at Spaceland in Silverlake last night (Jan 31). He went straight for the door despite the huge line, apparently to ask if Castledoor had already played. He was very apologetic about cutting in line to the girls at the front; after he talked to the doorman he went and hung out on the curb with a male friend until someone insisted they come in. He was all smiles, wearing an Iron Workers' Union jacket. Good to see him on the Eastside.

· Jack Bauer likes indie rock?! I was at Spaceland last Thursday night for the final, packed night of buzz band the Airborne Toxic Event's residency there, and who is standing right in front of me but the recently-released Kiefer Sutherland, who arrived early to brave the line. (It was, by the way, the longest line I have ever seen at the Silver Lake club.) He stayed from the beginning of the night all the way through the headlining band's set, singing along with the tunes and telling his friends how much he loved it. Afterwards, he hung around for a bit, taking some pictures with the violin girl from ATE and shooting the shit with the guys from the Deadly Syndrome. Who knew Jack Bauer had such good taste in music?

· Feb 1. - Dave Chapelle keeping it low profile at Swingers on Beverly. He looked a little thin but that might be because I've gotten so fat because of this strike. Come back, Dave, we need you.

January 30 - Forest Whitaker at the gas station on Beverly and Fairfax. Sweet Beamer! I had to hold myself back from telling him how beautiful his wife looked at the SAG awards.

January 27/28 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long at the Apple Store at the Grove. Giggling as they read the blog 100 Days in Bed. Zexy!

· 2/3, about 5:15 p.m.: It's not every day that you see Oscar nominees-slash-Emmy winners at the local drugstore. Well, it's kinda every day here. But that doesn't make it less cool that, while making a Super Bowl halftime meal run, I ran into Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy at the Rite-Aid on La Brea and Santa Monica. They looked adorably normal with their two cute little daughters, even with Bill's crew cut and mustache - must be for a movie, I hope think.

· Was going to Maha Yoga in Brentwod tonight (Jan 26) and a dude wearing no shoes (just white tube socks?) opened the door for me. It was none other than Woody Harrelson. He asked at the front desk if they had any sandals, but the lady told him they only had women's left. I overheard him chitchatting about his trip to Kentucky to promote some sort of system that turns poop into drinking water. The other two members of the Shirtless Stoned Triumvirate were nowhere to be found; maybe next week.

· Saturday 2/2 at Sushi Ike on Hollywood Blvd I was seated across from James Spader. He looked good in his dark-rimmed glasses and younger than recent pics I've seen. He was with a hot-but-age-appropriate redhead and one of his sons, who looks like Fred Savage circa 1995. No really, a lot like Fred Savage. When he left he bid a large and friendly farewell to the staff and chefs.

· Not sure if this was overreported to you guys or not, but TIM ROTH was all over the Health/Autolux show last Friday at the El Rey (2/1). He was taking photos of the band from all over the sides of the stage, striding confidently out of the side stage door area (presumably for no reason, I'm sure they have bathrooms and booze backstage), and kind of weirding out all the indie rock fans in general. What's that guy from Pulp Fiction doing here? was a question wafting about the area - I also reminded them he was "the bad guy in Rob Roy".

Here's an unconvincing photo I tried to take of him as he snapped away during the Autolux set.

· Was at the 7:05 showing of 27 Dresses at the AMC Century City 15 on Sat night. Lisa Kudrow was sitting next to me with her friend. Both seemed to enjoy the movie, and their small bags of popcorn. No one made of big deal of this

· Saw Rob Schneider in a sloppy red tee shirt having lunch with a buddy at real food daily today. (2/5)

· Weds, January 30 - Dylan McDermott waiting for his car in a strip mall off of Santa Monica Blvd. I assume he'd had lunch at Hamasaku. Was really nice - when the valet accidentally handed my friend's car keys to him, he joked about switching cars!

· The strike-bearded masses convened at the Ryan Adams show on 1/31, including: mustachioed Gil Bellows, paunchy Ken Olin, dreamy Justin Kirk (who hopefully found special appreciation for the pot jokes), frequent attendee Cameron Crowe, and that chick who played "Jane Doe" on Grey's Anatomy (imdb says her name is Elizabeth Reaser). I'm sure there were others, but I was hypnotized by Spacewolf for most of the show.

· Saw Mischa Barton last night (2/4) sucking face with some scrappy dude in a booth at the Rainbow Bar & Grill...

· feb 1, The 'Ho, How I Met Your Mother/Knocked Up's Jason Segel smoking a ciggy in front of Basix. tall and smoking nerd hot, rocking a scarf while waiting for a friend. i'd hold his bong any day, earthquake or not.

· Adam Levine at Katsuya Hollywood last night (2/3/08), pretty trendy sighting at a pretty trendy place. He was with a group of hipster guys and girls, they were there for a few hours and seemed to be enjoying the delicious yellowtail.

· Feb 6 - I saw "Lost" star Emilie de Ravin at the Farmers Market's Monsieur Marcel market the other day. She was buying red wine and no one recognized her. Looks like she's spent her strike downtime eating.

· Jan 5: Seth Binzer in Van Nuys traffic court: He looked like a mohawked butterfly in his bejeweled green hoodie and gilded t shirt. I had randomly caught the first episode of Celebrity Rehab, otherwise I would have thought he was just a regular douche, not a sober celebrity douche. Seth Binzer had some photo copies of rehab completion certificates, and the look on his face was proud. He explained he had missed multiple court dates because he was in "several recovery centers" and I swear he looked about to name drop Dr. Drew. I think the judge had seen the show too, because he was much less condescending to old Shifty Shellshock than he was to the rest of us. After explaining that while going to rehab voluntarily is commendable, it's no excuse for missing court dates, the judge knocked his fines down to about a grand. One can only imagine what they were to begin with. His violations were kind of weird, including driving a vehicle without mirrors. Just when I thought this guy was gonna be the only one of us not publicly put in our place by this just judge, Seth asked for a One-Stop. The judge said, "I've never heard of a One-Stop." Seth said, "Yeah! This guy in line told me that since I was here I could go ahead and take care of this other ticket I got in Sherman Oaks and-" The judge cut him off and said, "No son. That's why you don't listen to jail house lawyers or guys standing in line. You have to take care of all your court appearances individually. You cannot do a One-Stop." I didn't see if the judge used scare quotes or not, but it sounded that way.

After Seth met with the cashier he said to his one man entourage "I got six months to pay this. After six months, I'm gonna reassess." I wish him the best.

· Feb 5 We saw Luenell— the prositute from Borat — dining with girlfriends at Chinois Monday night.

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

· Vince Vaughn ambled past me last night (12/19) on Main St. in SM. The usual: Tall, thick, somewhat haggard. Was wearing one of those big insulated parka jackets and chatting loudly with an equally tall friend I didn't recognize. He looked thinner than he did at the Fred Claus premiere. I thought VV was an Eastside carouser, to what do we westsiders owe the honor, I wonder?

· Just thought I'd let you know that I saw Drew Barrymore and Justin Long arm in arm at the Murakami exhibit in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday, December 16th. I first spotted them giggling nervously in front of the Murakami statue depicting an anime-style character with a huge penis and a vortex of sperm shooting out of it. Like everyone else, they couldn't help themselves. I saw them around the exhibit at least 2 more times after that, looking flirty and sweet. Drew is even prettier in person...and Justin needs to shave off that silly moustache!! He's too cute for it. But it was a good sighting, and
added to the surreal environment Murakami created.

· 12/12 - mandy moore (who is beyond nice every single time i run into her), ryan adams (supposedly. didnt look like him to me but he was holding hands with her and someone said it was him), and josh kelley (who is actually way too awesome and nice to just be called mr. katherine heigl) at the ben lee show at el rey theatre.

12/14 - motherfucking edward norton rolling up to rza at the el rey. so gangsta. he was tall and skinny with a badass black leather jacket.

· Dec 12, 2007

Location: Birds. That post-collegiate, paparazzi-free bar next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin Ave.

Juno male lead, Michael Cera with a group of his friends, drinking and socializing. I thought he was taller, he stands at about 5'10"... maybe a half inch more.

Maura Tierney, ER Doctor Abby Lockhart, drinking and chatting away with some nondescript guy. I thought she was taller, she stands about 5'3" maybe (on a good day) 5'4".

Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room, oblivious to the others presence. As is the protocol in this celeb-drenched neighborhood, everyone left them alone.

· Monday - 18 December - Standing outside L'Occitane at the Malibu Country Mart, looking all tall, super skinny and gangly was Ted Danson, all alone, looking a bit lost and perhaps disoriented. I imagine if I'd tapped me some Whoopi Goldberg, I'd still be disoriented, too...wtf was he thinking?

· How I miss LA. Recently moved to the east coast but had to pass through LA on the way to Lihue. Flight 69 leaving LA on 12/14 around 1:40 After unexpectedly getting bumped to first class I find myself sitting 2 rows in front of Ellen Page. She was with some tall blonde guy named Sean. They seemed nice enough and they both, though underage, surprisingly, avoided the free booze they were regularly offered throughout all 6 hours of the flight.

· 12/16 - All within a couple hours and on one block on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills: Robin Wright Penn (flawless) strolled by smiling with her kids in tow. I rode in an elevator with Tori Spelling, her adorably chatty baby boy and her lively, all-male entourage. Scout Willis (middle spawn of Bruce and Demi) held a parking garage door open for me.

· A few unrelated sightings on Sunday, December 16:
While enjoying the vegan-y goodness of Real Food Daily, my special ladyfriend and I spotted Jason Schwartzman sitting at a table with several friends. This was actually the second time we've seen him there—and why not? It's a damn fine eatery and I'm not even vegan; I just like stuff that tastes good. When peeking over at Schwartzman became tiring, who should walk in but Ron Livingston and Elizabeth Reaser (who co-starred with Livingston on an episode of his show 'Standoff,' but is best known as the lady with the crushed face who, once surgically made attractive again, left her family for Dr. Karev on 'Grey's Anatomy) and an attractive brunette lady we did not recognize.

· Also, earlier in the day we happened upon Orlando Jones walking his large and slobbery-looking bulldog in a quiet residential neighborhood that shall be kept private, lest overzealous Defamer-reading Orlando Jones fanatics bother him at home.

· Wow, what a wonderful woman. Diahann Carroll (for those of us of a certain age, aka Julia) came into the City National Bank at Sunset and Doheny Road on the edge of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. She looked as wonderful as she did a few months ago on Oprah. The woman is an icon. She waited in line and chatted with another woman who appeared to be a friend. No drama, polite, elegant and looking great. And no I am not her publicist. Just happened to be there at the same time. It made my day.

· Driving down a very congested Wilshire Blvd at the Beverly Hills Country Club on Thursday 12/13 was none other than Diabetes testing supplies salesman and co-star of Steve Guttenberg in Cocoon, Mr. Wilford Brimley. I'm always fond of C-list sightings and below but this one was made infinitely better by Wilfred rocking the cherry red Mustang Convertible. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and shout, "have you checked your diabetes!?"

· b-list boom on sunday, 12/16.. lunching in los feliz, complete with sunglasses was host of e!'s the soup, joel mchale... then, later at pizzeria mozza was the statuesque (and impossible to pronounce) famke janssen. tall drink of water....

· Dec 17 - I believe all those reports of MK Olsen "dating" with David Annable are complete BS because I just saw him "canoodling" with a different young white girl waiting on line at the Coral Tree cafe line at the Century City mall food court.

·Spotted a radiant Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) having brunch at Campanile with 2 other ladies. Curious, is she a lesbian in real life too?

· Dec 17 - "The L Word's" KATHERINE MOENNIG, smiling (!!) and radiant, at OK Gallery on 3rd with her equally ectomorphic girlfriend.

· 12/19 - Sendhil Ramamurthy (Dr. Suresh on Heroes) walking alone and bagless at the Grove. Blue baseball hat and blue tee.

· Sunday 12.16 Only one person at King's Road Cafe dressed for the occasion should a rave and/or the apocalypse suddenly break out and that would be Mystery from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist."

Monday 12.17 Roy Orbison spawn and Kat Von D humper Alex Orbison was buying spinning shoes (really, wtf?) at I. Martin.

Special Nic Cage UK Christmas Edition:

· My first sighting in a long time, surprised that I still care at 70 years and some, but what the heck...it'll dirve my daughters crazy. "Sunday, Dec. 16: Nicolas Cage at Waitrose, grocery store in Bath, stocking up. Shoppin cart was loaded, but looked like they were only shopping for themselves. Like they were moving in for the holidays. Cute wife and daughter. He had that same tense "ohhh shit" look on his face. Guess it isn't an act, tho shopping on a Sunday at Waitrose is a bit of job if you don't want to be noticed. Knew I recognized him, little nod. Everyone was nice and left them alone.

In today's episode: Don Johnson; Topher Grace, Seth Gabel, Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Seth MacFarlane, Steve Harwell, Reid Scott and Michael Bunin; Dominic Monaghan; Michael Ovitz; John Cho; Dita Von Teese; Adrian Grenier; Monica Keena and David Anders; Gregg Araki and James Duval; Dizzy Reed; William Mapother; Brandon Davis and Danny Bonaduce.

· A well-preserved Don Johnson was having lunch outside at Le Petit Greek on Larchmont today (9/26). Had this been twenty some-odd years ago, I would've been so excited instead of mildly/hardly amused.

· Post-Arcade Fire at Magnolia on Sunset. Saw a baseball-capped Topher Grace with pervy/sweaty/stabby Nip/Tuck kid, Seth Gabel. They chatted up some girls on the patio before walking off down Sunset. Thirty minutes and one burger later, saw Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan walking towards us arm and arm. She stopped at the valet stand and waited as an attendant got her car, while Rodriguez kept strolling along by himself. After getting her SUV, McGowan drove and caught up with the still ambling Rodriguez further down Sunset where he then got in. Those two head cases seem made for each other.

· Bizarre assortment of C-level celebs at Bar Lubitsch last night (9/26), plus one good one. The C-team: Seth "Family Guy" MacFarlane, the lead singer of Smashmouth (Steve Harwell, and two of the dudes from TBS' "My Boys". ("Brendan" (Reid Scott) and "Kenny" (Michael Bunin), hanging together. life imitating TV art.)

The good one: Drew Barrymore. She's been there a few times lately... with the Mac guy (Justin Long). Didn't see him last night, though. Had a weird feeling when she was standing by our table. I thought, " Who is that? Did I go to high school with that girl? Did we go on a blind date once? Wait, no, it's Drew Barrymore. Right on."

· Saw Dominic Monaghan at the Klaxon's concert at the Henry Fonda (Sept. 26). No girlfriend in sight, but that's probably because she wasn't fired from LOST like he was and is currently filming in Hawaii. Dude is super short - although since he played a hobbit in three movies that's probably too obvious of an observation.

· Last Tuesday Michael Ovitz, wife Judy and three children being congratulated by former CAA cohorts at Ovitz's new restaurant Kumo on Melrose.

· 9/26: Dinner at Canele in Atwater Village, saw John Cho or as my friend who spotted him first put it, "the only Asian actor I recognize, you know, the dude from Harold & Kumar." Ahh... I don't think she watches HEROES. Being 1 and 1/2 asians between the two of us, I replied (silently), "more recognizable roles for Asian-American actors!" Anywho, he's a handsome fellow.

· Saw Dita Von Teese at the Hollywood Bowl Sunday 9/23 for the Rufus Wainwright show (which was amazing). She was waiting in the Will Call line with a less fabulous friend. She looked incredible with perfect hair and make up, and a gorgeous outfit. Unfortunately that outfit covered her well, no free show for us.

· 9/19 7:30pm - Saw Adrian Grenier at LACMA for the Muse reception before the "Into the Wild" screening. He was flanked by two blonde girls who looked like they couldn't tell a Cezanne from a Hockney. He couldn't have cared less about them, choosing instead to direct his attention to the stage where The Good Listeners were performing. He was wearing a black fleece and dark pants, requisite face fuzz, all of which looked good on him. Total cutie.

· Wed, 9/26: The Coronet on La Cienega - Spotted Monica Keena (Dawson's Creek, various guest star roles—she was the girl with the pole through her gut on Grey's Anatomy) sitting at a booth along the bar. Couldn't see who she was with at first, but noticed that she's looking aaaaaaawfully plastic. Remember the 30 Rock episode where Jane Krakowski's character has a ton of work done and Tina Fey goes on about her looking like a burn victim? I feel like a bitch saying it, but poor Monica is approaching that territory. Or maybe she hasn't had any work done and just has a naturally tight skinned-big lipped face! Oh, but then, when she left, I saw she was following David Anders (one of the new Heroes, formerly of Alias) out of the bar. She's very tiny. He's very hot.

· Saw Gregg Araki and James Duval holding court at the Editors show Monday night @ The Wiltern

· Just got back to town and my Internet connection, but did have one very small celebrity sighting to share from a recent trip to Los Angeles. Last Thursday night (9/20), at the Supersuckers gig at the Key Club, just happened to run into Dizzy Reed, keyboard player for Guns and Roses. I know it's not much, but I would hope it's at least a TINY bit more interesting than Nate Corddry or some of the other "who?" I have seen listed in the sightings.

· 2 quasi-celeb sightings in 1 day, although I doubt the first really counts:

Sunday 9/23- a brunching Brandon Davis, famous for being greasy, sleeping with celebutards, and calling Lindsay a "firecrotch", eating with 3 disheveled friends at Mauro's Cafe in Fred Segal. He looked less greasy and bloated than usual. I was sitting next to his table and believe I overheard him talking about a recent visit to the doctor. Draw your own conclusions...

Sunday 9/23- 8 PM
Went out with a few friends for a low-key pastrami-on-rye dinner. Standing with us waiting to be seated was William Mapother- Ethan on Lost and as Tom Cruise's cousin. He was by himself with a stack of magazines and asked to be seated in the back. He was reading intensely the entire time. Very low-key, tall, and better looking than expected. Still creeped me out to come face to face with one of The Others.

· Sep 25 On the JetBlue bus from JFK to Burbank. Danny Bonaduce himself, looking very LA in bestudded jeans, designer tee, and a very, very sparkly rhinestone belt buckle. I had to put my shades on, the glow was so intense. He went to the back of the bus, BTW.

In today's episode: Cher, Matthew Perry, Natasha Gregson Wagner, and Alicia Silverstone; James Blunt; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Forest Whitaker; Felicity Huffman, Cherry Jones, and Sarah Paulson; Karl Malden; Mike Tyson; Famke Janssen; Dominic Chianese; Seth Green, Joel McHale and David Annable; Elizabeth Perkins; Alexis Bledel; Tom Colicchio; Carson Kressley; and Eric McCormack.

· Saw Matthew Perry and Alicia Silverstone (not together) circulating around the rooftop patio before the Frames went on stage at the Henry Fonda last night (9/6). A very petite Cher was with a group of people that included a gentleman who was a dead ringer for Kenny G. Chandler Bing, who looked a little rough, was with a lady who I believe was Natasha Gregson Wagner (not sure though). Didn't see them during the actual concert because it was so awesome, I had tunnel vision.

· 9/6 - saw matthew perry and james blunt at the frames show at the fonda. matthew must be a big fan cause he was at glen's swell season gig earlier last month as well. while he was introducing a song, glen was like "you just want to come back from tour, sit on the couch with your girl while drinking tea, watching Friends, you know?" i looked back and matt and his girl friend were cracking up. and at another point in the set, glen randomly half way through the song "star star" said "this song is for matt." i didn't look back to see if it was for him or not. he is, however, taller than i expected and seems to be aging well. he has kind of a rough look. ok i'm being gay. the end.

· Sep 5 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were spotted at Pace Restaurant in Laurel Canyon trying to meld into one being using only their tongues. Ah young love.

· Saw Forest Whitaker filming what I now know is Power Blue (thanks IMDB!) right next to my block on Hollywood Boulevard in the middle of the heat of Tuesday. He was dressed in a Santa outfit, which made me feel bad for him... but then I remembered he's probably getting a few million and his car probably has air conditioning. Dick.

· Went to grab a late lunch at Toast yesterday (9/5) and had just finished telling my companion that every time I go there, I see some celebrity (B or C List status mostly) when all of a sudden behind my back a flurry of activity breaks out. The clack of multiple camera shutters turn my attention to the curb behind me where a funny-hat wearing Kirsten Dunst stands hiding her face from a collection of paparazzo. Stating, "this never happens here," she was brought inside by a server to wait for her car to pull up and whisk her away. Upon getting her the getaway vehicle (face still covered) her little fan club takes off in chase. Sadly, my first reaction that the site of her snaggletooth was that it detracted from the deliciousness of my beloved tuner melt. Sigh.

· In a misguided attempt to beat the sweltering heatwave this weekend, a friend and I caught the Sunday, 5:30 pm screening of the Bourne Ultimatum at the Cinerama Dome at the Arclight. "Misguided" because we thought there would be air-conditioning. Other duped Arclight patrons included: Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Cherry Jones (Tony Award winner) and her girlfriend, Sarah Paulson (of the late Studio 60). Felicity wasn't nearly as thin as I thought she'd be, but if she packed on 10-15 pounds she'd definitely look more feminine (I hate myself for saying that because I really do love her). I also noticed Cherry Jones before I even recognized Felicity.

· Sep 5 - Holy god! KARL MALDEN IN THE HIZZY!

Just hackin' it up on my MacBook at the humble Coffee Fix in Studio City when Skag himself, KARL MALDEN comes in and gets himself a coffee and properly-pronounced croissant. Class act, that Malden.

· Another Privacy Watch, another obligatory Mike Tyson sighting. Saturday afternoon at around 4, (9/1/07) I saw the fearsome Iron Mike speaking to a couple of guys in front of one of those clothing stores on Melrose with one name (which is to say, all of them.) He looked a little chunky, but don't tell him I said that.

· Today 9/7 driving to work on Sunset Blvd. I was stopped at a light and look over to my shoulder and see a very attractive brunette woman driving a Prius in a white wife beater, also stopped at the light. It took me a second to realize it was the comic book movie vixen Famke Janssen.

Also on Wednesday at Cat N Fiddle, as I was walking out after my meal into the courtyard I spotted Dominic Chianese (Junior Soprano) seated and talking with some PYT in the corner. He's still pullin game, god bless his old man soul.

· Well....Bacara resort (in sassy Santa Barbara, actually Goleta for anyone paying attention) was the place to be on labor day weekend. I had lunch at the spa cafe between Seth Green (he's so tiny, he's almost troll status) and is ultra-skinny biatch girlfriend, who were dining and laughing their asses off with Joel McHale (Talk Soup Funny Guy who's a good 6'4") and his wife. Seth ordered the shellfish bouillbase, which my friends and I thought was funny considering the 100 degree plus heat, but Joel picked up the tab. On my other side was Dave Annable (Brothers and Sisters) who was rocking the shirt off, aviator shade look with a tall L.A. looking chick. We all exited at the same time, and Dave was definitely checking out every other girl in the place - classy! But Seth gave no props to Dave who kept looking at him to see if he knew 'he' was....it was hilarious to watch. Seth and his lady hugged it out with Joel and his wife, who then joined us at the Spa pool for a nice salt water swim. A fine way to spend an otherwise boring Monday afternoon!!!

· Thursday Sept. 6: There I was standing in line for my brie and apple panini at Aroma Cafe in Studio City, when the women in front of me in line turns around and I see it's Elizabeth Perkins a.k.a. Celia Hodes from Weeds! She was wearing a cute floor length sun dress and was totally sunburned, or rather, baked.

· Tues 9/4...Cruising west on Sunset, through Echo Park, when I spot Alexis Bledel (or her doppelganger) standing on the street with a couple of people. I can't for the life of me figure out what she was doing there, if it was her...it was a little too far east to be trendy.

· In town for business, I had three celebrity sightings in as many days.

First, Thursday, August 30: Tom Colicchio of Top Chef fame, at his new restaurant Craft in Century City. He was sporting the chef's coat and working in the kitchen, but came out and chatted with some fans. He is fitter in person and his eyes are absolutely piercing blue. He is just as cool as he comes across on television and his new restaurant is amazing.

Friday August 31: Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight guy, filming yet another reality television program at the Promenade in Santa Monica. This one apparently involves women with body self image issues. Carson was invented for television and couldn't have been nicer, but he seems Botoxed within an inch of his life.

Saturday, Sept 1: Eric McCormack from Will and Grace at LAX. Only slightly shorter than I would have expected, he was with his wife and son, both of whom are equally adorable. They sat on the floor, waiting for the flight to Vancouver, and kept to themselves. He has such a distinctive voice and a great smile.

In today's episode: Drew Barrymore and Spike Jonze; Tobey Maguire and Kevin Connolly; Will Ferrell; Halle Berry; Kiefer Sutherland; Beck; Liev Schreiber; Tom Waits; Heather Graham and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje; Rachel Leigh Cook; Michael C. Hall; Jonathan Bennett; William Fichtner; Drew Carey; Joey Lawrence; William Mapother and Dennis Haskins.

· last night (Aug. 20), drew barrymore at the beastie boys greek theater show. standing in line, swathed in black, for refreshments, she scribbled furiously onto a yellow pad, her head as far down as possible so as not to be recognized. was she composing her own rhymes? journaling about the deep feelings that "brass monkey" elicit in her? writing a love letter to mike d?

· So I was at the arclight this Saturday and who do I see snuggled into Spike Jonze's shoulder? None other than Drew Barrymore, fabulous and adorable in a soft baggy sweater. They just walked by trying for the inconspicuous while she hid behind her hair and Jonze's mustache.

· Beastie Boys concert last night Aug 20. Well, the Beastie Boys for one, then Tobey Maguire walks in with cutie Kevin Connolly and random actor guy I've seen in some things but have no idea what his name is. Concert was great although a bit more subdued when I last saw them in the early 90's at Lalapalooza. I think I just dated myself. Anyway, Team MCA!

· Will Ferrell with wife and two kids in double-stroller (the baby having a cranky moment) on Sunday afternoon (around 3:30) at the Whole Foods on Fairfax and 3rd St. Was wearing a blue button-down shirt...with goofy/preppy print shorts. Really friendly, bought some organic diapers and tons of reusable Whole Foods bags...must have just seen the 11th Hour. After he left, the cashier who played it cool excitedly ran to the other cashiers to see if they noticed who was just in the store.

· I saw Halle Berry at Pace Restaurant in Laurel Canyon on Sunday night. I don't think she noticed me though.

· ok, last i looked, there are some who are Jonesing(sp?) for their Kiefer Sutherland sighting...
-Sunday night, Sunset Junction Festival is closing down the BuzzCocks inspired a real and ferocious moshpit, Chebi Sabah was oh-so Wunderbar, and now i'm so happily intoxicated that i'm just doing a drinkless walk-through of 4100 Bar on my way home... and there he is! with friends on the outdoor patio, partying appropriately. Monsieur Kiefer, i salute you.

and now that i know that you have to say "sighting" in the subject line, your readers shall hear of my encounters (going backwards now) with Miss Bilson (um, Rachel?)shopping alone and well at Rock n' Roll Gelsons (on Franklin, about two weeks ago), David Carradine (gently weaving somewhat on the sidewalk in front of La Poubelle that same afternoon), Colin Farrell cruising in a black 4-wheeler through SilverLake last Spring... Oh! and Monsieur Beck got my hopes up when he was walking around Sunset Junction with a small but lovely female entourage Saturday morning. did he play? Diz the MC said yeah he will ... but no.

· Sunset Junction — August 19. Around 6:30 at 4100 Bar. A sad-sack Kiefer Sutherland, sitting alone, playing with his cell phone. Maybe he was just hung over, but everyone else in the bar looked happier than this dude. I guess money, fame and a quasi-annoying, "high concept" TV series can't buy you serenity.

· 8/15 Turning into my doctor's office parking lot near Beverly & Robertson, my wife says "Watch out for the homeless guy."

Homeless guy? Pshaw! It's Liev Schreiber, my generation's Olivier, hobbling around with a cast on his foot, looking glum and scruffy. His sartorial sense, baseball cap, wrinkled, un-tucked shirt and khakis, reminded me of another screen legend: Robert Shaw in Jaws.

· 8/19 - saw tom waits and his son/grandson/whatever at beastie boys. he was very casual and quiet and rad and had corpse-ier skin than keith richards. we walked down the stairs behind him to go to the bar in hospitality and it seemed like everyone there stopped their conversations and stared at him. i saw the neanderthal-ish guy from justice in the pit as well but i don't think that's really a celeb sighting unless you stay up late looking at cobrasnake.

· Friday 8/17 Fred 62. Spotted Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) from Lost...big dude, didn't smile. Stood near the counter top for a while, but didn't see what he was up to. A little later, Heather Graham sat down in a booth with an older guy—looked like a business meeting...he had a lot of papers, seemed sort of "producer" like. She looked pretty. That is all. Boring, I know.

· Hi, Defamer. Yesterday, the 19th, I went to Sunset Junction early with my girlfriend. Around 1:30p we headed up to the Vista to catch the matinee of "Superbad" (so funny). I got into the concessions line to get us some junk food. Two people in line ahead of me, I noticed a shapely woman with colorful shoes, tight jeans and a form-fitting blouse. Her hair was kind of blonde-ish. I got a look at her face and, without a doubt, it was Rachel Leigh Cook, looking absolutely, stunningly beautiful (face, body, the whole package). She also had on a Sunset Junction wristband, so she must've done the same thing as my girlfriend and me. She was with a guy who looked around 40 —graying a bit, short hair. Sad (but lucky for him) that this guy is her (I assume) boyfriend. I hope to God the guy's loaded, because if not, she could do so, so much better (no offense — sorry old man).

· Friday night at the Village Idiot, Jonathan Bennett (AKA The Cute Boy in Mean Girls) with friends. He's cute in person, but I spent my entire meal trying to remember if I knew him from college or from the TV.

Sunday at Bristol Farms — Celebrity Sighting HQ — Michael C. Hall in the produce department. He gave me a weirdly aggressive "YEAH IT'S ME WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?!" glare. Dude, I was just looking for the jicama.

· Aug. 17 - On my husband's American flight from DFW to BUR, William Fichtner, whom he recognized only because "Blades of Glory" had been the in-flight movie on his connecting flight. Sitting in first class looking tan and, god knows I quote, "a little sweaty."

· HACK ALERT! Aug. 17. I just patronized Swinger's on Beverly, where I found myself privy to Drew "Cleveland Rocks!" Carey's blatant hit on a member of the wait staff (who was, I must say, patently out of his league). She feigned interest convincingly at some banal anecdote he was relating about The Price Is Right. His arm was in a cast. And that's that.

· Aug. 20 Tucker Carlson is out in front of the McDonald's on Ventura & Radford, having an animated cell phone conversation. Brooks Brothers-y, a little chunky, cuter than I'm comfortable with.

· Saturday, August 19th, LAX. Joey Lawrence with a woman and infant. He was bald, shiny, and copper as a new penny. I was underwhelmed enough not to stalk him to baggage claim.

· 8/21 - Holy shit - I just saw William Mapother (aka fucking ETHAN ROM from Lost) last night at Ralphs in Brentwood. He is one scary looking guy even in real life. Absolutely made my night.

· Just moved to LA yesterday and my inaugural celebrity sighting was Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins, right?) at The Cat and Fiddle. He was at the "Have fun moving to New Jersey, see you in nine months when you realize it's a terrible place" goodbye party for the comedian Steve Hofstetter. He caught me totally staring him down. I merited an eyebrow raise in acknowledgement.

• The View Audition Tapes - Alternate Reese Audition [YouTube]