Defamer
diary
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diary
long goodbyes
This Round Of Andre Is On Me
[Mood: Unsettling mix of trouser-soiling fear and misguided hope. Song: "The One Where Everyone On 'Six Feet Under' Dies" by Sia]
Well, here it is: The Last* Post. As it's getting late and no one wants to be stuck here when there's a perfectly good happy hour at which you should be drowning your end-of-week pain, it's time for the Goodbyes, the Thank Yous, and the Boozy, Andre-Fueled Reflections:
My time here at Defamer has been a life-changing experience, in every possible sense. Before we started the site back in 2004, I'd never had a paid writing gig, and now I find myself moving on from one that I've had for nearly four years—a run that was made possible by our readers. (And by this mysterious "Nick Denton" character who continued to sign the paychecks.) So thank you, all of you, for your tips, your hilarious comments, your support, your wasted productivity. Whatever I get to do with myself from this point forward is because you kept showing up here every day. Did I just get through an entire paragraph using only sincere words? Blogging may have stolen my attention span and much of my sanity, but it seems it hasn't destroyed my ability to learn a new trick on my way out the door.
Next: nothing I can say here can possibly equal the incredibly generous thoughts that were written (and expressed in video form—um, wow), but my first words of thanks have to go to Seth Abramovitch, who for the last two and half years or so has been the best co-worker I could have ever dreamed of having: Incredibly funny, massively talented, and just generally a great person with whom to spend 12 hours a day.
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self-indulgence dept.
A Farewell To Grazerhead
[SFX: a PHONE RINGING at Defamer HQ]
Mark: Yeah?
Grazerhead: Hey, buddy.
Mark:: Hi?
Grazerhead: It's Grazerhead!
Mark: Oh! Hi!
Grazerhead: So...big day, huh?
Mark: Yeah, I suppose it is. [a deep, soul-weary sigh.] I suppose it is.
changes
The One Where The Editor Says It's Time To Move On
Of the 9 or 10,000 posts I've done since we started this site, this one is the hardest to write. After almost four years here at Defamer, I've decided it's finally time to move on. In an effort to keep this short and sweet, I'll be climbing out of the blogging hamster-wheel this Friday, and though I wish I had exciting news about where my next paycheck will be coming from (or some great story about why I'm leaving other than "it's time"), I'll probably just be taking a little hiatus to figure out what's next and work on some projects I haven't had the time or energy for since, oh, mid 2004: writing that might not involve typing in a tiny box in a browser window, eating the occasional lunch, spending lazy afternoons standing in front of the Chinese Theater in a loose-fitting Power Ranger costume, shaking down tourists for money. You know, how everyone in L.A. spends their idle hours. More »
new arrivals
New Gawker Sci-Fi Site Invites Trekkies To Wipe It Out With Enraged Phaser-Fire On Launch Day
Today marks the launch of io9, our brand-spanking-new Gawker Media sister site (the first work day of the new year is a busy one back at our corporate mothership) that seeks to sate the appetite of sci-fi fans who think nothing of following up a 24-hour Battlestar Galactica marathon by inserting toothpicks under their weary eyelids and sitting back down for another straight day of vintage V episodes. (An unhealthy viewing orgy that may, of course, result in hallucinations that one can now unhinge one's jaw and swallow a tasty rodent whole like a ravenous Visitor.) Of particular geek interest among today's posts is this potential six-pointed blasphemy detailing why Star Trek, which has "become a microcosm of everything that's wrong with science fiction," should have been allowed to stay dead, a rallying cry for anyone who feels that it's cruel that a greedy studio insists on trying to pump life back into the original James T. Kirk's bloated corpse. Drop by and say hello to editor Annalee Newitz and her crew, then stick around to learn how semen is being used to control women's sexual urges, or some Doctor Who infoporn.
internal memos
A Quick Note About Our New And Improved Masthead
Happy 2008! Though we're still trying to pry off the confetti stubbornly cemented to various body parts by dried champagne (please, don't press us for details on the exact places we're having a hard time de-spangling), we're ready for whatever Hollywood nonsense the new year holds. But first, we have an announcement to make: Our Defamer family is expanding, as we've brought aboard an old friend to be our first Managing Editor. Please welcome Mark Graham to the fold, who'll be dealing with the administration of the site, spearheading the expansion of some features (photos and videos and what-have-you), and handling all the fun responsibilities that go along with growing our little part of the Gawker Media Worldwide Blogging Concern. Mark's a recent refugee from VH1's online operations, the proprietor of the seminal blogspot Whatevs, and, amazingly, still fascinated with at least one half of the post-conjoined Olsen twins. Please direct all well wishes and gift baskets (hint: he's a red-velvet cupcake guy) here. More »
As some readers complained that last year's holiday greeting caused their usual Christmas bedtime visions of dancing sugar-plums to be replaced by nightmares starring a certain mysteriously infantilized—if still festively attired—superproducer, we've decided to soften this year's offering a bit. Who could possibly be troubled by the delightful image of Santa Grazer atop a plush unicorn? Not us, at least. Please accept our warmest wishes and heartfelt thanks for helping us survive another 12 months of largely the same nonsense we all lived through the previous year. We'll be back on Monday for a half-day, off Tuesday for the holiday, then back to a more-or-less regular schedule Wednesday for the always action-packed week before the New Year. (Or, more accurately, Seth will be here—he always puts a vacation until January 2nd under my Christmas tree. And all I got him for a late Hanukkah present was a regifted set of "I Am Legend/I'm With Legend" t-shirts Warner Bros. sent in!) See you in 2008! —Mark
We know that the last thing anyone wants to hear about is our technical problems (and yet here we go anyway!), but one of those internet outages that our service provider occasionally likes to surprise us with to keep us on our toes has forced us out in the world to find a connection. We should be up shortly, though things may be running at half-speed for a little while. As always, thank you for bearing with us during these incredibly difficult times.
diary
A Quick Note From The Editor
Apologies for our slower-than-usual start; we've been dealing with a technical issue that makes an already half-lucid Monday morning all the more fun. (A tip we read on Lifehacker but nonetheless ignored: Repeatedly screaming "Fuck you, devil box!" at your computer is generally an ineffective troubleshooting technique.)
Also, you failed to scare off Jarrett Grode during his Friday guest-editing stint, so he's back today to give Seth a day off. Please continue showering him with affection so that he doesn't run screaming from the Movable Type window by lunchtime. (You know how these performer types crave positive reinforcement.)
diary
They're Out of Wiis, so Here's a New Guest Editor for Christmas, Sorry
Hello to everyone who used to work in showbiz back when it existed. I've been instructed to introduce myself. My name is Jarrett Grode, I'm a Los Angeles native, and a very sporadically employed actor, writer, and blogger. I will be guest writing for the site today while Mark does something Mark-like. If this goes well, it will have no positive impact on anyone or anything.
how to
The New And Improved Defamer Comments: Friends, Followers And Fun Features
Every once in a while, a Communications Ensign from the bridge of the Gawker Media mothership requests that we briefly pause to explain some new and exciting features they've added to this Web Log for your enjoyment, and because we've learned that disobedience of these directives invariably leads to the sting of the lash or the burn of the cupful of acid tossed faceward, we are more than happy to comply. Starting immediately, there are some new whizbang-y doodads available that will help our cherished, tight-knit community of commenters (more on how to become a commenter here) further enmesh themselves in each other's online lives by tracking the activity of their "friends" and "followers." Sound neat-o? It is! Let's learn more:
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survey funtime
Who Wants To Take A Survey? You Do! Maybe!
We know what you're thinking right now: "Gee whiz, Defamer, it would be so great if there was a way that I could answer some survey questions that might help your parent company painlessly collect some demographic information in exchange for the chance to win a $100 Amazon gift certificate." Amazingly, Gawker Media's Survey Administration Department has—just this morning!—asked us to provide you with such an opportunity. Answer these questions, then type your e-mail address into the box following those questions, and you'll be entered in a drawing for the aforementioned Amazon prize. In a word: Fun!
As you may have noticed, a minor redesign of the site has just gone live. Fun, right? We'll leave you discover all the new gizmos, doodads, and what-have-you our design team has whipped up this time around, but if anything seems to be broken in the nip/tucked layout, please drop us a line and let us know (and telling us your browser and OS version always helps).
diary
A Note From Your Guest Editor
Hey everybody. Nick Malis here. Since Mark is off on another one of his suspiciously frequent vacations, I'm gonna be helping Seth out as guest editor for the next two days. You may recognize me as an occasional correspondent for this very site, or from the blogs that I used to write but have now sort of abandoned: Malis in Wonderland and Cute Things Falling Asleep. But fear not, reader— I won't abandon you. Not when there's new Britney Spears crotch shots to analyze. Alright, enough jibber jabber. Let's do this!
advertising intitiatives dept
A Note On Our Temporary New Look
As our more astute readers have pointed out to us both in an earlier comment thread and in some concerned emails, Mr. Defamer appears to have been kidnapped by Peter Krause, star of Filthy Smutty Cash, a new show on a television network we hardly need to name in this space. Let us just say this and move on with our day: We were just as surprised as you to wake up and see Nate Fisher's face smirking back at us, but our sales department quickly silenced any of our concerns about advertorial crassness by showing us the mock-up they rejected, which we've reproduced after the jump:
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We seem to be back online (fingers, toes crossed) following the Great Gawker Media Server Crash of Early Fall 2007, so the small amount of work we were able to accomplish during the downtime should start appearing as you scroll down the page. To make up for today's unfortunate developments, we've mailed each and every one our our readers a single red velvet cupcake—monitor your mailboxes for our "We're sorry" gift.
By the time you read this, the problem will probably already have magically worked itself out, but we seem to be experiencing one our weekly Friday server meltdowns. Please bear with us until our Soviet-era equipment is switched out for slightly better machines obtained at a recent Kabul computer fair.
survey funtime
You Are So Ready To Take Another Survey
Your enthusiastic calls for more anonymous surveys about nonspecific, possibly personally intrusive topics have been answered: Because someone inside Gawker Media's Survey Administration Department loves you more than you can ever know, we're once again offering the chance to win prize-like stuff for answering question-type things. Just click over here to take this survey, then e-mail the last question asked to surveys[at]gawker.com for a chance to be the one random winner of a $300 Ikea gift card. My word, the fun you'll have luxuriating in an easy chair you've assembled with a single hex wrench! Remember, the price of this amazing opportunity is that you agree to be bound by our standard contest rules. Surveys aweigh!
