defamer resolutions

Resolution No. 3: Put The Weinstein Company to Death For Forthcoming 'Fraggle Rock' Film

WHEREAS, The Weinstein Company is a theatrical releasing venture co-owned by the brothers Bob and Harvey Weinstein, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock was a 1980s-era HBO children's television series developed and produced by the late Muppets creator Jim Henson, and

WHEREAS, The Weinstein Company reportedly will join the Jim Henson Co. in adapting Fraggle Rock as a feature film, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock: The Series is a warmly remembered part of our generation's upbringings, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock: The Movie marks the Weinsteins' latest contribution to a burgeoning family tradition that also includes the Satan-appeasing rehash of Short Circuit and sundry teen slasher films, and

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defamer resolutions

Resolution No. 2: Disney Must Immediately Release its Groundbreaking Nature Film 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua'

WHEREAS, Walt Disney Pictures has made available online this week its trailer for the animated/live-action film Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and WHEREAS, said trailer features George Lopez in his archetypally go-to role as Hollywood's default Mexican voice talent, and WHEREAS, per cosmic law, secondary Mexican voice talent Cheech Marin is also represented, and WHEREAS, said trailer introduces Papi, the character referred to in the film's title and the descendant of small singing dogs who "fought alongside Aztec warriors," and More »

defamer resolutions

Resolution No. 1: Sarah Jessica Parker Censured for Complaining About Problems 'SATC' Helped Create

WHEREAS, it's not really our style to judge anyone before noon, especially on a Monday, but that's when New York Magazine happened to publish its new cover story about Sarah Jessica Parker; and

WHEREAS, Ms. Parker is the star of the Sex and the City, an overpraised television series adapted as an overhyped feature-length film for theatrical distribution later this month; and

WHEREAS, Sex and the City romantically represents contemporary New York City as a sanitized, upper-middle class shrine to culture, taste, privilege and glamor; and

WHEREAS, the real New York City is a class war waiting to happen, as exemplified by Ms. Parker's recollection to the author:

I don't know if you do this with your husband," Parker says. "But say one of us is walking down the street, I'll call him and say, 'You know, the laundromat is closed!' And he'll say, 'What?' I'll be like, 'The laundromat at 11th and West 4th Street is closed!' " and

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