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David Blaine's 'A-Ha' Moment Comes After 17th Oxygen-Deprived Minute
Extreme endurance artist David Blaine has certainly stunned the world before with his well-publicized stunts—from spending three weeks journeying through an (unfortunately impacted) Blue Whale's digestive system, to the time he was flash-frozen inside a block of carbonite atop the Arc de Triomphe. But it was the seemingly simplest of tasks that eluded him: breaking the world record for breath-holding, previously held by a centenarian fisherman from Tanzania rumored by villagers to have been sired by a frog. All that changed today on The Oprah Winfrey Show of all places, where the low-talking illusionist was deprived of oxygen for an amazing 17 minutes and 4 seconds. We've included video of the final two, during which an increasingly agitated Oprah grips the thigh of the monitoring physician beside her, asking reasonable enough questions along the lines of, "OK, his eyes just crossed, his skin turn blue, and he slowly floated to the surface. Is that considered a bad sign?"
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· "Organizers of a major California music festival are offering a $10,000 reward and four festival tickets for life in exchange for ex-Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' two-story inflatable pig." [Reuters]
· David Blaine will try to break the 17-minute world record for breath holding on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is fine and all, but it's no Criss Angel mindfreaking her brains out. [AP]
· Her new six-hour-a-day workout regimen sometimes requires that Britney Spears walk around the gym wearing nothing but a towel. [Daily Mail]
· Paramount takes a heavy swig of the Blu-Ray Kool-Aid (which, oddly enough, tastes like raspberry with a slightly bitter after-taste). [THR]
The Force Is Strong In This Nerd Screaming At Briefcases
· We think we have a worthy successor to the Star Wars Holiday Special for the most blasphemous use of the property, like, ever. That said, that Darth Banker's a hard-ass, isn't he? $49,000? But there's five large amounts still left in play—including the million! [Deal or No Deal]· "Organizers of a major California music festival are offering a $10,000 reward and four festival tickets for life in exchange for ex-Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' two-story inflatable pig." [Reuters]
· David Blaine will try to break the 17-minute world record for breath holding on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is fine and all, but it's no Criss Angel mindfreaking her brains out. [AP]
· Her new six-hour-a-day workout regimen sometimes requires that Britney Spears walk around the gym wearing nothing but a towel. [Daily Mail]
· Paramount takes a heavy swig of the Blu-Ray Kool-Aid (which, oddly enough, tastes like raspberry with a slightly bitter after-taste). [THR]
The always-surprising, always-annoying David Blaine plans on staying awake for 13 days for his next "stunt," and Keith Richards has some anecdotal advice for him. As Richards' latest bout of playing Dr. Phil proves, Blaine's newest idea isn't so original; Keef already decided to see what would happen by forcing himself not to sleep for 9 consecutive days back in the '70s. As Richards told the SF Gate, "On the ninth day...I fell asleep and crashed headfirst into a JVC speaker, smashing my nose apart. I just lay there and let it bleed. It was a chemical thing." While we're sure these rocker words of wisdom won't deter Blaine's masterful and magical plans, we do suggest he avoids snorting ashes and takes Keith's advice to nose-proof whatever fish tank he envisions pulling this off inside of. [SF Gate]
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Short Ends: Lohan Still Defiantly Anti-Panty
· Because we know you'd never speak to us again if we let a paparazzi photo of Lindsay Lohan's not-so-elusive naughty bits go by without a link, here you go (NSFW). We hope you feel just as dirty as we do.Soggy illusionist/modelizer David Blaine plans on staging his next feat of incredible endurance with the help of Michael Jackson, with Blaine locking himself inside a 10-foot-by-10-foot Lucite box with Jackson, five Make-a-Wish kids, and a case of cheap wine for a week. Blaine is not expected to survive the stunt.
OJ Simpson's lawyer cordially invites the Goldmans to try and get their share of his client's Big Book Of How I Would Have Stabbed My Ex-Wife And Her Lover To Death money, but denies that the Juice has a secret place where's he's going to hide his cut.
Being a nerd desperate for one of the first PS3 systems is more dangerous than you'd think.
UCLA students: "Don't taser us!" Sure, now they say it.
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Short Ends: We're Never Getting Rid Of David Copperfield
David Copperfield claims that he's found the Fountain of Youth in the Bahamas, meaning that not even the normal human birth-death cycle can now free us from an eternity of TV specials centered around lame illusions involving the "disappearance" of various landmarks. Just don't let anyone tell David Blaine, OK? Nobody wants to see how long he can hold his breath while submerged in that shit.There is perhaps no better footwear for kicking your friends in the balls than Converse's new Jackass model sneaker Unless you're trying to sterilize your buddies, in which case some steel-toed Timberlands will do a pretty nice job.
The Daily Gut makes the bold prediction that by December, Ashlee Simpson will have had enough plastic surgery to finally release the inner camel she's been trying to free for years.
Maybe Paris Hilton's vagina is only going for $10 on eBay because she announced she's not going to use it for a year.
david blaine
BlaineWatch: A Soggy Magician Slowly Regains His Strength
It's an incredible relief to discover that despite the many physical problems that David Blaine incurred in failing to set the coveted breath-holding record, the part of his brain regulating the release of vital attention-whoring neurochemicals was unaffected by his extended stay in that flooded hamster ball. More »
david blaine
By now we're sure that you know that despite the reassuring presence of a small army of medical personnel and a personal drowning coach at the side of his waterball, magician David Blaine failed to set the world breath-holding record on last night's live television special, David Blaine: Sopping Wet Attention Whore, falling nearly two minutes short of his goal. But through the magic of internet video, you can experience those claustrophobic, waterlogged seven minutes and eight seconds again this morning, free of the tension that at any moment a giant ping pong ball might crash into his dramatically lit fishbowl, followed by God's arm reaching down from the sky to claim his hard-won carnival prize. More »
David Blaine Holds Breath For A Pretty Long Time
By now we're sure that you know that despite the reassuring presence of a small army of medical personnel and a personal drowning coach at the side of his waterball, magician David Blaine failed to set the world breath-holding record on last night's live television special, David Blaine: Sopping Wet Attention Whore, falling nearly two minutes short of his goal. But through the magic of internet video, you can experience those claustrophobic, waterlogged seven minutes and eight seconds again this morning, free of the tension that at any moment a giant ping pong ball might crash into his dramatically lit fishbowl, followed by God's arm reaching down from the sky to claim his hard-won carnival prize. More »
