"I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine – and I am tempted to do it on the same day – this would be the bigger hit. If they change their minds, I’m waiting!”

...She added, “I do think they could have waited a bit. If they want a worldwide hit, I have them all up here [pointing to her beehive]."

Reportedly, Winehouse's Bond theme is only hamstrung by her inability to settle on a name; having found that the existing Bond titles "Die Another Day" and "All Time High" hit too close to home, she's settled on three potential options: "Speedball," "MoonBlaaaaker," and "Cunts Like Kanye."

• Amy's Bond revenge [New Magazine]

[John Woo's film] Red Cliff isn't the only would-be blockbuster beset by accidents and tragedy. Two stuntmen were burned while making the Adam Sandler comedy You Don't Mess With the Zohan. Visual effects technician Conway Wickliffe was killed while prepping the Batmobile for the upcoming The Dark Knight. According to a production source, Wickliffe and a colleague were videotaping the Batmobile as it spun around a racetrack to see if it was properly rigged to do stunts. Wickliffe was hanging out the window with the video recorder when the driver accidentally careened into a tree. The police investigated and found no wrongdoing.

To say nothing of poor James Bond's car trouble, including two unintentionally totaled autos and one injured stuntman on Quantum of Solace. But there's hope yet after the jump!

"In the last 10 years, and particularly in the last five years, CGI has kept the risk assessment down on most stunts," says Sony's president of physical production, Gary Martin. "We have alternatives. We have safe ways to plan the stunts and keep people out of harm's way."

Sony, like all studios, has a team of safety specialists who travel from set to set to monitor stunts and crew safety. Martin declines to speak specifically about any Sony film — such as Quantum of Solace — but he says the recent spate of accidents is mostly a reflection of the increased amount of films with stunts and spectacle.

Kind of like how our increased, sincere affection for Mexican culture has yielded the likes of Carlos Mencia and Beverly Hills Chihuahua — accidents literally do happen. And according to government figures cited by the Times, it's to the tune of 270 injured actors and 230 dinged-up stunt performers on film sets in 2006. But these are indeed the times we live in, and Defamer salutes each and all of the industry's brave stunt performers; may you never again know third-degree burns in the service of an Adam Sandler comedy.

• 'Red Cliff' and Bond: Safety first on set — or last? [LAT]

Once again, color us unimpressed. James Bond's gone rogue? Um, as we alluded to before the jump, we've already seen that movie. Three times, in fact. Although, we did find it interesting that director Marc Forster (he of Monster's Ball fame) decided to film a scene that recreates this year's most controversial Vanity Fair cover shoot, substituting British babebot Gemma Atherton for the despoiled Miley, in a plot twist that seems on the surface to be more Friedberg and Seltzer than Ian Fleming. If test audiences like what they see and demand that Forster insert a few more pop culture spoofs into his film, then maybe this movie will be worth seeing after all. We've got our fingers crossed for the "I Can Do 200 Of These" guy.

*We're pretty sure it wasn't actually Uno, but like we said, we were asleep.

• Quantum Of Solace [Moviefone]

[S]he shoots them in role, asking each to perform and cry for the camera and demands the actor’s investment in the process. These are no passive sitters.

True to the blurb, Daniel Craig showed up determined to be an active sitter, and after a marathon session in which he was made to relive every side-by-side humiliation foisted upon him by the bully-geniuses at CraigNotBond.com, it was in the unlikeliest of mental corners that he finally achieved eye-moistening success: recalling the time his inner 7-year-old was made to do cartwheels up and down the bar of his father's pub, singing "Skip To My Lou, My Darling."

• Crying Men [steidl via Mollygood]

'There was quite a lot of blood and it was decided he needed to go to hospital for emergency treatment,' explained a member of the Bond production team. 'Some people are beginning to believe the film is jinxed.' ...

At the weekend a fire broke out and caused severe damage on an outdoor Bond set at Pinewood. The 007 studio at Pinewood had been open for only a year after it had to be rebuilt after a previous fire destroyed a giant replica of Venice during filming of the last Bond film, 'Casino Royale.'

Two stunt men were hurt in separate car accidents while filming Quantum of Solace on location at in northern Italy in April. British engineer Fraser Dunn, 29, was left fighting for his life after he crashed a £134,000 Aston Martin DBS into the water at Lake Garda in northern Italy. During the same shoot an unnamed Greek stuntman suffered serious head injuries in a car crash.

We also recall Craig having lost a couple of teeth back in 2005 when shooting a Casino Royale fight scene, but no dental crises or torn, bleeding flesh are enough to keep the blonde Bond off the set — at least not when taken with the film's Paul Haggis script credit. Some films just jinx themselves.

• Curse of Bond strikes Again... [Daily Mail]

Creating the "perfect face." (Again.) Their male ideal grafts portions of Damon, Daniel Craig, Leo DiCaprio, Christian Bale, and John Stamos ("You got your C-list chocolate in my A-list peanut butter!"). His female counterpart, meanwhile, blends Katie Holmes, Katherine Heigl, Keira Knightley, Jessica Simpson, and Angelina Jolie. The result: Gay Elvis and, um, a horsier-faced Heigl. Perfection!

• The Perfect Face? [starmagazine.com]

Offering few details—not even a title—the one-sheet only shows a long shadow cast by the iconic screen assassin, who may or may not be exceedingly peeved over someone having taken his parking spot. If you need more to chew on, Moviefone also has some promotional footage from the set, including an exclusive glimpse of 007 Speedboat School. How far we've come from the days of CraigNotBond.com, the shadowy group of Bond heritage fanatics who openly scoffed at Daniel Craig's qualifications, often to hilarious effect. Of course, we all know how that ended: One glimpse at that blue-eyed beefcake emerging from the surf was all it took to snuff the URL, and entire movement, out of existence.

• Quantum of Solace Behind the Scenes - Clip No. 1 [Moviefone]

Continued Barbara Broccoli, "It is not a revenge movie. It's a lot more complicated than that. It has lots of action but it also deals with the inner turmoil Bond is feeling." Our knee-jerk reaction is that it's not as immediately catchy as previous Bond offerings, but we complement the team for not succumbing to studio pressure and going with something more obviously focus-grouped, like Melancholy is Forever, which really would have popped off a one-sheet close-up of a devastated 007's sad, betrayed eyes. [AP]

· "The best you can say about The Golden Compass is that it's merely the second-dullest Nicole Kidman/Daniel Craig film this year." [NY Post]

· "For once, the smooth planes of [Nicole Kidman's] face, untroubled by visible lines, serve the character...But [the film is] hampered by its fealty to the book and its madly rushed pace..." [NY Times]
· "Big, noisy, and fantastic yet curiously sodden, too, filled with talking animals, sparkly light showers, and vague hints of ''religious'' feeling that are never more than distant echoes, The Golden Compass is a snowbound mystical-whizbang kiddie ride that hovers somewhere between the loopy and the lugubrious." [EW]
· "You need proper charts, a year's supply of baked beans, and Sir Ernest Shackleton if you've got any hope of finding the plot." [London Times]
· "If you have a friend who has read the books, buy him a ticket and take him along. You'll need him. Otherwise you will find yourself scratching your head at a movie that tries way too hard to do way too much in way too short a time." [Arizona Republic]
· "The Golden Compass ultimately fails as a film in its broad strokes and inadequate scene development. The film undershoots the high mark for fantasy-franchise momentum set by New Line's previous epic success The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring — to the point that, at its abrupt end, Compass rudely insists that its audience follow the story to a second effort." [Premiere]

UPDATE: Someone who worked on the movie wrote in to take issue with the inherent subjectivity of a round-up consisting entirely of amusing bad reviews. To be sure, not everyone hated it—Roger Ebert even gave it a rave!—so in the name of fairness, we reprint the e-mail, along with links to some of its glowing notices. Merry Compass everybody!

Question, and yes, I worked on Golden Compass, do you have an agenda in posting only negative quotes for the film? Yes, arguably the reviews have been somewhat polarized, but the LA Times, Roger Ebert (four stars), NY Daily News, Newsweek among many others love the film.

Way to be objective.

· "Is there a Razzie Award for worst casting? If so, it's one of several that can be reserved early for this fourth, spectacularly lousy screen version of Jack Finney's 1954 novella The Body Snatchers." [LA Weekly]
· "The movie isn't terrible; it's just low-rent and reductive...This is just a glorified zombie movie: 28 Days Later with monsters — they even spread the virus by vomiting! — that look like you and me." [EW]

· "While it's impossible as a viewer to tell where one person's work ends and another's begins, it's clear that all those voices and influences have resulted in a film that feels truncated, rushed, unfocused and—worst of all—not the slightest bit scary or suspenseful." [AP]
· "Philip Kaufman's Invasion of the Body Snatchers haunts you for years, whereas The Invasion is forgotten before the end of the credits." [CBS5.com]
· "All good things must come to an end — in this case, the lucky streak that's made every adaptation of Jack Finney's 1955 sci-fi novel "The Body Snatchers" distinctive and effective, until now." [Variety]

Daniel Craig's next on screen love conquest could be non-other than Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty.

Producers of the next flick, Bond 23, are desperately trying to sign her up because she sells out cinemas across Asia.

A source said: 'Shilpa is having secret talks with the top brass who are working on the next movie.' [...]

A spokesman for Shetty said she could not comment on the story today.

Shetty is mostly familiar to Americans for having inadvertently caused an uproar in her home country, after being playfully ravaged by Richard Gere at a rally in New Delhi. That said, we can only imagine the kind of rioting and effigy-burnings that will follow their first glimpses at the racy love scenes between Daniel Craig's chiseled Bond and Shetty's double-agent seductress, Deepa Kunilingus.

• Shilpa to be new Bond girl? [metro.co.uk]

In today's episode: Matthew McConaughey; Daniel Craig; Elisha Cuthbert; Jason Alexander; B.J. Novak, Fred Willard and Brian Austin Green; Vince Neil; Emilie de Ravin; Lauren Ambrose and Bruno Tonioli; Kristy Swanson; Eddie Steeples; Liz Sheridan; Tim Busfield; Dita Von Teese; Ian Ziering; Joe Simpson and Lil' Jon; Jesse Camp and Efram Potelle

· Matthew McConaughey was among the beautiful people at Parc on Wednesday night.

Admittedly, before anyone said it was him, I was making fun of his dancing. He was contorting into nearly horizontal positions with some girl between him and the floor. She was a (I'm told) ballet dancer, very cute. Good work Matt. Defying all myths that pot makes you slothful, the man gets points for stamina — he was shaking it for at least two hours.

Other than impressively limber, the only other way to describe his dancing was animalistic. First he was mimicking a chicken. Later when "Brass Monkey" came on, McConaughey took his cues from the later part of the song title and danced in primate-esque fashion. Could have gone my whole life without seeing that, but you can't blame a guy for having a good time.

· 3/29/07 Just saw Daniel Craig leaving Whole Foods in Sherman Oaks. I have no idea why blond Bond would be in the Valley.

· I'm sure this is probably too late, but me and my roommate think we saw Elisha Cuthbert at Best Buy(West Hollywood) this past Saturday. Noticed her while we were dvd browsing. The girl in question walked around kind of aimlessly, all by her lonesome. She was wearing one of those little caps like Elisha wore in "The Girl Next Door". I know I'm not the only one who saw that, so don't play. In the parking garage, she got into a dark, underwhelming car (though it had tinted windows) with a tall, brown-haired dude, just a couple of spots from where we parked. I snuck a "i'mjustmakingsurethere's roombehindustobackup" glance and she seemed aware that we "knew". Little did she know we weren't sure!

· (3/23) I had just bought myself an iced tea at Larchmont's Peet's Coffee, when I turned around to see Jason Alexander seated with a couple industry types. He looked distinguished in a full-beard, and spoke with his business associates in low sonorous voice. The only time he seemed George Costanza-ish was when he received a phone call from Woody Harrelson (?!). His voice went up an octave and he began gesticulating wildly. Once the call was over, he returned back to his professorial bearing.

· I was at the Farmer's Market today (3/28) enjoying an extra-long, bomb-scare-evacuation brunch when I spotted The Office's B.J. Novak eating at a nearby table. He was alone, texting and reading a paper, looking ultra-relaxed. Also, yesterday I passed Fred Willard as he walked down the sidewalk of the Baja Fresh/SAG Building block of the Miracle Mile. He was dressed in this oversized, flanel/fleece sweater with moose and pine trees printed all over it - not in the ironic hipster way, but more like something I would pick out for my grandfather from the L.L. Bean Catalog. Later that night I saw Brian Austin Green standing outside of Fred 62s with a few friends. I have nothing interesting to report except that he is a babe even in track pants.

· @4:45pm Sunday 3.25 Heading East on Melrose at LaBrea a surprisingly non-bloated Vince Neil of Motley Crue driving a brand new silver convertible porsche.

I screamed "Hey Vince, Shout at the Devil Man!" and made the obligatory devil horns in his direction.

He looked less than amused and turned his head and sped off.

· I finally, after a long dry spell, have a sighting to report. I was in the Toluca Lake Trader Joe's and was looking at a very cute (and very young) guy when his ostensible girlfriend looked up from the apples....lo and behold, it was Emilie de Ravin, tinier than ever and cute as a button. Tiny! Teeny! Darling!

· 3-28 at the Lotteria at the farmers market at the grove Lauren Ambrose with 2 guys (one husband?) and very cute baby with orange fuzzy booties, getting some food. Lauren looking very mom like. a few minutes later i saw that judge Bruno Tonioli from dancing with the stars order food from lotterria too........seems we all like it there. he was in a hurray and alittle sweaty..........

the day before i saw kristy swanson with her baby and mom? is she preggers again? walking on the SM promande.

· Sitting at the bar in El Compadre, the rock & roll Mexican joint on Sunset, my conversation and margarita were interrupted by someone trying to order a drink over my shoulder. The minute I saw that nappy 'fro and the cigarette tucked behind his ear I wanted to say, "Darnell!". Eddie Steeples was hanging at the bar, apparently waiting for a table as well, with two writer-looking types.....surprisingly way smaller in person than I would have imagined. I guess it's all that hair that makes him seem bigger.

· Continuing my run-ins with the slightly-obscure: I saw Liz Sheridan (Jerry Seinfeld's mom) Saturday night (3/24) at Burbank Airport, trying to get help on the house phone. It's own circle of Hell, I'm sure.

Then, continuing with the 90s TV theme, there was Tim Busfield, waiting at the light at Hollywood Way and Alameda, Blackberrying while he should have been paying attention to traffic (3/27). He obviously needs the Blackberry Helmet!!!

· Spotted Dita Von Teese at Porno Burrito (El Atacor #11) in Lincoln Heights at 3am. No, she did not order the porno burrito, for that would have been newsworthy. She must be bored... although the same could be said of me if she keeps turning up where I am. At least we know she eats.

· 3-30 this morning at the griddle, ian ziering and family in the big corner both.

· Was at the Lakers/Grizzlies game on Tuesday evening (3/27), and saw two B-listers. First, I spotted Papa Joe Simpson himself, sitting courtside next to some guy who looked like he may have been Grandpa Simpson. Was wearing his tacky diamond encrusted watch and didn't smile once. Lil' Jon sat in the corner courtside, complete with grill, long dreads, and sunglasses. Had an entourage of three, all also in shades. At night. Awesome.

· I'd like to submit my hot tip for celebrity sighting of the week..Mr. 1998 MTV VJ contest winner himself Jesse Camp! Went to pick up my dog food from Centinela Feed & Supply on Pico and there he was...stocking the shelves with no help from a ladder (the dude is TALL)Very charming and witty and even helped me carry out my bag to my car!

· Efram Potelle, the slightly more annoying half of the directing-duo responsible for the mediocre "Battle of Shaker Heights" — the second of three straight box office bombs made possible by HBO's Project Greenlight — spotted today (3/28) at Psychobabble on Vermont. Those who watched the show may remember him as the shorter, pushier director who had the audacity to request that money be taken out of the film's budget to buy him a new car. He was sitting quietly working on a script.

· Keith Urban takes a long, deep whiff of wife Nicole Kidman, whose juniper berry shampoo is the next best thing to an actual gin and tonic. [People]
· Velvet mafioso Don David Geffen and Mr. Diane von Furstenberg Barry Diller do their part to make Jack Nicholson feel comfortable with his new look, though Geffen has trouble hiding the crushing disappointment of having his 25-year passion project lose to a heroin-snorting grandpa and a lesbian folk song. [VF]

In today's episode: Victoria Beckham; Daniel Craig; Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard; Bruce Willis, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Allison Janney and Terry Bradshaw; Dustin Hoffman; Lindsay Lohan; Nick Stahl; Paris Hilton; Vanessa Marcil; Erik Palladino, Devon Gummersall and Barry Pepper; Eric Szmanda; DJ AM; Justin Berfield; Tom Green; Rickie Lee Jones; Kimberly Stewart.

· Talk about annoying! The woman is in this country for three days and she is already wreaking havoc for commoners trying to go about their business. The Grove was obviously not enough for one day. If it wasn't bad enough that at 5pm on a weekday, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is in Kitson with the door locked and the paparazzi all over the place, her bony, ego-maniacal, British behind caused a ridiculous backup of traffic on Robertson Blvd from before Beverly. Forget the plebs. Our wallets obviously are no match for Vic's celebrity-mongering drive to be seen in her new hometown. Needless to say, my carefully planned errand to return a measly pair of shoes to Kitson was foiled. Guess I'll have to just give Fraser a call next time to find out his schedule for hosting the menagerie of self-glorifying, snobbery in this town and their little camera holding parasites that follow their every move. Thanks for everything Vic! Hope you had a swell time!

· Work over in Century City (twin towers)... As I was walking back from the Westfield mall, Posh Spice is entering the newly opened CAA digs...1 down, 90000 more Posh sightings to go now that she'll be everywhere in LA

· Today 1/18 saw Mr. James Bond himself, Daniel Craig, with girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell (thanks imdb!!) at Bristol on Sunset today around lunchtime. He is very easy on the eyes in person and was rockin' some great jeans and sunglasses. She was gorgeous- they make one nice-looking couple. Didn't see what they picked as we checked out before them.

· Saw Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard at AMMO Thursday night (1-19) at 9 p.m. No babes—infant, Jake, or otherwise—put Peter introduced her fairly loudly to their two dining companions as "the mother of my child." They seemed almost giddily happy, in much a way that I know I shall never be. I'm going to eat some Redi Whip directly from the can now. See ya.

· Went to the CUT (1-15), Wolf Gang Puck's place at the Regent Beverly Wilshire. I saw a few people there, Terry Bradshaw (Pittsburgh Steelers), Allison Janney...But two tables down from me was Bruce Willis eating dinner with Jeffrey Katzenberg and wife. Not sure who was sitting next to Bruce/ Possibly Daughter.

· Today I was walking back from grabbing a late lunch at the Whole Foods on San Vicente in Brentwood and who crosses my path but none other than the legendary Dustin Hoffman. Walking quickly in the rain, (caught without an umbrella) he seemed to be flanked by a 25-ish hipster guy. He looks really great for his age, although shorter than I expected (aren't they all?).

· I had a 7 day streak of being a celebrity pussy magnet, but unfortunately the only decent story I have is about semi-famous Nick Stahl's dipshit friend. Does that even count? Stahl, going for the 'too indie to shower' look and his hanger-on made eye contact with my friends and me at Winston's. They whispered something, then walked over and said dipshit hanger-on grabbed my friend's straw right out of her drink. She grabbed it back. He grabbed it again, dipped it into her drink, sucked up some liquid, deposited it into his mouth, then shimmied away. What the fuck was that?

Also, earlier that week - saw Lindsay Lohan (pre-rehab, post-appendix liberation) sharing a table with titty guru Joe Francis. I can't even imagine the STD that those two sleeping together would hatch.

· Back from visiting LA... saw a drunk Paris Hilton late Saturday night (1/13) at Area. She was stumbling across the dance floor as her security entourage pushed aside the gaggle of poseurs as she left.

· Saw Vanessa Marcil at Cobras and Matadors on Beverly Tuesday. She is TEENY TINY. She seemed nice, though, so my companions and I didn't ask her about her relationship with Brian Austin Green, the existence of which she has denied despite the fact that they have a child together.

· 1/17 Larchmont was filled with b-listers. At Peet's... Erik Palladino hanging out with the guy who played the sensitive guy on My So Called Life (not Wilson Cruz, the gay one, but the other kid who liked Claire Danes) [Devon Gummersall]. Barry Pepper also came in for a few minutes to chat them up.

· 01/17
I just saw Eric Szmanda (Greg from CSI) at the Starbucks at Olympic and Sawtelle sometime around 1PM. He was wearing plenty of blue (top, jeans, shoes) and looked a little older and meaner than he does on the show. Pretty skinny. No chit chat...just paid for his drink (I think it was bottled water — imagine that), grabbed some napkins, and almost ran out of the store.

· 1/17 - I saw DJ AM, nee Adam Goldstein, at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Sunset and Fairfax. He drove his little silver Prius in, was very polite to the baristas, and then sat talking shop with a blonde guy for about half an hour.

· I was with some friends on Catalina Island recently. Everyone is rockin and nazzing to the music in a bar El Galleon (i think) and it got to be a pretty wild scene. When 1am rolls around a girlfriend and I look up to the upper level of the bar/resturant because there was a group of people who were acting even more insane and loud than the lower level crowd below. Then we realized that in the center of that group was Justin Berfield (that cute, but hottie in person punk brother from Malcolm in the Middle) and he was clearly getting his lips licked by someone clearly older than him and he was the only one acting sober. Everyone downstairs starting chanting. To make things even more surreal we were told that all of our drinks for our group of girls had been bought by him when we went to sign our bill hours after he had left. YOU GO REESE, get that MILF!

· Tom Green is having lunch with an agent type at Frida in Beverly Hills. Looks serious and balding and dishevelled. Perhaps negotiating for work? What does he do these days in L.A...I thought he was back in parents basement in Ottawa.

· Lunching 3:30ish 1-17 at Victor's: Rickie Lee Jones.

· Not sure if she really qualifies as a celebrity but just saw Kimberly Stewart at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on North Beverly Dr in Beverly Hills. She was wearing an ankle cast and made her getaway in a white Range Rover. There was a lone paparazzi hanging around outside waiting to photograph her. I suppose the lone paparazzi pretty much clears up my uncertainty about her level of celebrity.

In today's episode: Alec Baldwin; Steven Spielberg; Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fischer; Ashton Kutcher; Daniel Craig; Joaquin Phoenix and Amanda Scheer Demme; Jack Osbourne; Jason Bateman; Britney Spears; Jessica Biel; Adam Brody; Nick Stahl; Andrea Anders; Carrie Underwood; Paris and Nicky Hilton, Omarion and Timbaland; Stavros Niarchos; Seth MacFarlane and Mike Henry; Michael Chiklis; Tatum Channing and Marcellas Reynolds; Paul Simon; Melora Hardin; MIichael Rapaport; Heidi Fleiss; Kal Penn; Joe Francis; Ian Ziering; Janice Dickinson and Jai Rodriguez; Lukas Rossi and Kendra Jade.

· i was working out in the downstairs area of the sherman oaks 24 hour fitness the morning of monday jan. 15 . i had noticed an older gray-haired guy on one of the two rowing machines rowing one-handed while on his cellphone. i made my way over to the other rowing machine and noticed right as i sat down that is was alec baldwin. he half smiled and kept on rowing (really poor technique, by the way). he did that for a while and then moved on to a couple of the weight machines. he must not go there very often since he had to ask one of the trainers where one of the ab machines is. and then he goes and makes a comment during his golden globe acceptance speech about just recovering from hernia surgery...

· saw steven spielberg at urban outfitters on the promenade buying a stack of hipster duds 4 his kid. cursing under his breath at the long line.

· Golden Globe watch 2007 the city is so busy due to the invasion of the celebrities. Saw SACHA BARON COHEN (aka Borat) and his adorable fiance ISLA FISCHER (aka the crazy chick from Wedding Crashers) at Joans On Third. They were so cute together, with what seems like a ten foot height difference between them. They came in, looked around and when they couldn't find a table they left. No muss, no fuss they seemed perfectly down to earth and disgustingly affectionate with one another.

· I saw Ashton Kutcher on an elevator in my building yesterday. I guess he has an office in the building or something.

When I walked into the elevator, he immediately covered his face with his hand, thinking that since I might, upon noticing it was him, would start a high-pitched scream saying I love him and want his man-sperm.

Anyway, he was talking to someone else in the elevator about what seemed like pre-planning an episode of Punk'd. He was asking "Where are we going to get them?" and his partner responded by saying that "her parents are from Chicago". So, any Chicago-parent-based actresses/singers, look out for Ashton!

· Weekend of 1/13. Two minus one at Equinox, West Hollywood.

Saturday. Daniel "007" Craig. The dude is cut. Working out hard. Brought in his own trainer. Good move. The trainer was doing everything 00 did. No lollygagging.

Sunday. Kevin Connelly. Came in for the "executive". Enough said.

· Last night (1/15) at Pace in Laurel Canyon. Pretty sure I saw Jack Osbourne walk in with a group of friends. Then later Amanda Demme dining with Joaquin Phoenix.

· Friday, 1/12 at Runyon Canyon, Jason Bateman's dog, a Griffon, tried to hump my friend's dog, a daschund. Both boy dogs. Jason didn't even try to apologize, just kept calling for his dog! He had a hoodie sweatshirt on and trying really hard not to be noticed. He's one of my favorite actors thanks to "Arrested Development" (RIP), so it's really too bad he's so snooty. When your dog tries to hump another dog on Runyan, the unspoken rule is you make eye contact with the owner and say, "Sorry". It's not like he's the only semi-famous actor up there! Still, he's cute, I forgive him.

· Friday 1/12: BRITNEY SPEARS at the Abbey. She was in that semi-private area next to the fireplace with a posse of gays. They were all drinking bottled water and there were Abbey staff surrounding her holding up trays trying to block people's views. Didn't work as she was in plain sight of everyone, but she looked happy and like she was having a good time. No paparazzi outside.

· I went to Tiger Heat last night (1-11), I was leaving the area called Heaven as I heard that Brit was arriving. I had to use the ladies' lounge with quite some urgency (broke the seal), so I only saw her overprocessed head from afar. Why is it that she can lose 20lbs in 20hrs, but I remain a chunky dumpling? She looked so good (everything is relative)!

· 1/14- After many, many semi-celebrity sighings I finally I get the real deal. I was at the Whole Foods in Brentwood and got in the checkout line behind Patrick Dempsey, who was looking very McDreamy! He kept looking around as though he was expecting someone to join him in line but no one appeared. He was buying all healthy food and looking casual cool in a dark navy sweater, jeans, pumas and a great tweed Kangol-like hat. The nickname is well deserved....

· Pre-globes hair extravaganza! I was getting my hairs did, half my color rinsed, when who should I see in the next seat at Bhava Salon getting her balayage-applied, sun-kissed look put together? Jessica Biel, that's who! I have never felt such awe over someone's perfect body, and she seemed (from observation, not conversation) so nice and happy. I really wanted to hear what she was saying, but I didn't.

· I saw Adam Brody eating wtih 2 girls in their early 20s at Canter's at about midnight last night. One of the girls looked like Mischa Barton from the back, but when she turned around, it clearly wasn't her. He and the girls were chatting and laughing with one of the waiters for short time—it looked like the waiter and him knew each other pretty well.

· Sunday late afternoon/early evening — a few folks clearly not on the Golden Globes party circuit...:

Andrea Anders (The Class, Joey) going to Healing Hands for a massage on Larchmont. That place is so reasonable even I can afford it...hope she has a show that makes it to season three and maybe she'll be able to afford Burke Williams?

Nick Stahl looking all gangly and skinny entered M Cafe with a friend only to turn around and leave. We saw them pass by later after with Quiznos cups in their hands. Guess he's not into macro-fare.

Jason Bateman and large entourage of friends at M Cafe...everybody in the place seemed to know each other, it felt sort of like eating at the Fox commissary.

· 1/15/2007 Carrie Underwood @ Grand Luxe Cafe Beverly Center. Wearing skinny jeans high heels, beige shoulder wrap top and A LOT of eye and face makeup. She looked slim and trim, was very nice.Trying not to be noticed. Was with another blond girl.

· the obligatory after justin timberlake concert round up. tuesday jan 16. saw paris and nicky hilton more than fashionably late. down on the floor teeny tiny singer omarion with a posse of girls. timbaland who later performed with justin and then saw fergie who probably peed her pants.

· A little late for this one, but saw Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchos, heading towards the valet parking at the Grove —-hooded gray/black sweater, skinny jeans...skinny girl (even more so in [person]! Never thought I'd say this but she doesn't look nearly as trashy in real life...she was almost pretty: she seemed upset though, was walking behind Stavros, arms crossed...crying maybe? Anyway, nothing major, but thought I'd report....round happy hour (6pm), Sunday 1/7.

· Jan. 13th: At the Brass Monkey karaoke bar in Korea Town-
Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane and Mike Henry tearing up the karaoke floor on Saturday night. Seth not only karaoked to songs from "The Sound of Music" and "Aladdin," but he also sported an obscene amount of chest hair. Nothing like seeing a man sing "I am 16 going on 17" while his chest hair sang back up. Obligatory Hollywood Starlet glued to his side.

· Just saw The Shield's Michael Chiklis waiting at the valet with a healthy sized Maggiano's doggy bag at The Grove. His date: his mom. Awwww...

· Okay this is totally random but I'm having dinner with my wife and daughter @ Jerry's Deli in West Hollywood last night (Saturaday) and the restaurant is all abuzz. Tatum Channing and Marcellas Reynolds are having dinner there. Tatum's @ a huge table with 12 girls and Marcellas is with a gorgeous woman. But don't tell my wife I said that. Tatum keeps doing dance moves. The waitress said he was obnoxious. When Tatum's table gets up to leave the little girls scream and run over to Marcellas.

· Saturday, 1/13: Pretty sure I walked past Paul Simon on 4th in Santa Monica. I tried to pick out some distinguishing characteristic, then realized that Paul Simon doesn't really have any distinguishing characteristics (other than hobbit-like height). His mini-jowls suited his gloomy, fuck-I'm-cold expression.

· Jan from The Office (Melora Hardin) at Katsu-ya on Ventura. She looked just as good or better than she does on TV, surprisingly tall. Dining at the sushi bar with a nondescript blonde that looked like a sister or family member from their interaction, although I could totally be making that up. I'm just excited I saw Jan.

· This morning, MLK day, driving to yoga super hung over (it's a great detoxer), I saw MICHAEL RAPAPORT walking down the street in a residential neighborhood in Hancock Park. I know he lives around here, I see him all the time on Larchmont, but usually with his kids. He was all alone this morning, at 8 am or so, not on the phone, nothing. Nor did he seem like he was out for a "power walk" or anything, he was wearing normal clothes, not sports clothes or sneakers. Weird, nobody walks in L.A.!

· Thursday 1/11, saw Heidi Fleiss browsing the frozen food section at the Weho Trader Joes. She looks like she has lived a hard life. Then on Friday I sat by Kumar/Taj/Superman Returns bad guy with no lines actor Kal Penn during lunchtime at Aji-sai Sushi, also in Weho. He looked scruffy and rather adorable.

· I was having lunch in the courtyard/patio area of the Watergarden today Tuesday the 16th when all of a sudden I hear a loud obnoxious voice, I turn around and it's none other than Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame, I was tempted to run up to him and ask whether the rumors about him tapping the "firecrotch" were true, but then I realized that the linguine I was eating was a lot more interesting. Does he work in the area? He ate at the table next to me at the La Salsa just down the street a few months ago, on that ocassion he loudly talked on his cell phone the whole time and completely ignored his lunch companion, I guess you can't really expect manners from a person who makes money off drunk naked 18 year old girls.

· Santa Monica, Friday 1-12: Sitting in the Sunshine Café (at St. John's hospital) early in the am. Sipping my coffee when in walks Ian Ziering. I am not a big fan of 90210 nor Mr. Ziering's subsequent "body of work," but I will readily admit that *DAMN,* the man did look some FINE. Fitted black motorcycle jacket and helmet only accentuated the hotness.

· Went to Privilege on Sunday night, which is gay night. The VIP room was D-list celebrity heaven: scarecrow like JANICE DICKINSON, being fawned over. I've met her before, she is scary skinny. Like a witch. Doesn't she realized you look younger if you have a wee bit of fat on your bones? She just looks...pulled very tight. And then JAI RODRIGUEZ from the recently canceled "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" sat at the table next to us. He was on his blackberry all night. I really don't understand that. You're at a club, you should be dancing and drinking and socializing. If you want to send emails nonstop, then STAY HOME!

· friday night, 1/12...the rock and roll porno party was in full effect at The Stand in Encino, thanks to Lukas Rossi - aka the guy who went on tv and won the right to be in a band with Tommy Lee - and Kendra Jade - aka the adult film star who once f'ed Jerry Springer. There they were, with an older, bald friend enjoying a hot dog dinner among the young families and alter-kackers.

I recognized him by his jumbo frosted fauxhawk. I recognized her by the tattooed "know your role" tribute to The Rock tattooed above her visible ass crack.

In re-enacting the Andress pose for a generation that has learned to love the male body with almost as much unashamed joy as the female, Craig has made himself iconic in the most familiar way. He is simply demonically sexy.

The frame of the movie where he emerges from the sea in those clinging trunks is so scorchingly hot I feel embarrassed watching it, even when alone. It has been used as the key piece of pre-publicity on the movie, and with good reason. Good film directors recognise gold dust when they see it. This is the kind of image that even straight men can't peel their eyes from.

Indeed, poor Eva Green has found herself in the unenviable position of being the first Bond girl expected not just to play a subordinate role to the lead, but who's been required to wear a variety of neck-to-ankle-covering 1920s bathing suits and Little House on the Prairie-inspired dresses, in order to guide the audience's thirsty gaze away from the French beauty and keep it squarely trained on the featured beefcake attraction.

• The spy who buffed up [Guardian]

James Bond actor Daniel Craig has a large penis, according to his 'Casino Royale' co-star Dame Judi Dench.

The British actress caught a glimpse of the hunky actor's impressive appendage as he was getting dressed in his trailer which was situated opposite her own.

Dench, who plays secret service boss M in the new movie, told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

Having some time ago laid our impressionable eyes upon the body part in question, we'll assume Dench's choice of the descriptive "monster" in this instance refers to a supernatural creature of the diminutive sort—a trembling, wet mogwai, for instance.

• Daniel Craig's trouser "monster" [FemaleFirst.co.uk]

At one point in the film the two kiss in a prison cell and Jones described the experience on Thursday as "slightly abrasive, ultimately rewarding."

"I've never dreamt that I would kiss James Bond, it's not something I have ever aspired to. Now I've done it, I can say that I hope I am the first of many," Jones told reporters.

Jones' hope will undoubtedly come true, though we can't help but suspect that none of the Bond women in Craig's future will every come close to the "slightly abrasive" chemisty between Craig's condemned killer Perry Smith, and Jones' compassioniate, sissy-voiced journalist—so much so, we imagine Craig might sometimes resort to closing his eyes and whispering into the ear of a beautiful, female co-star to, "Tell me about the Black and White Ball once more, Tru..."— a simple actor's trick to help him get in the mood before any steamy, 007 love scene.

• Capote returns to big screen with new film, gay kiss [Reuters/Yahoo]

"If I went onto the Internet and started looking at what some people were saying about me which, sadly, I have done it would drive me insane," [Daniel Craig, the new James Bond,] says in an interview in Entertainment Weekly magazine, on newsstands Friday.

"They hate me. They don't think I'm right for the role. It's as simple as that. They're passionate about it, which I understand, but I do wish they'd reserve judgment."

It can't be easy for an actor to step on set and instantly muster the cool-tempered bravado required for a role of this nature, especially just moments after Googling the words "'Daniel Craig' + 'pansy'" in his trailer and scrolling through endless pages of results. It's a testament to the considerable mobilizing powers the internet now affords passionate movie fans, who not so long ago were forced to run off their I Hate Timothy Dalton Fan Club newsletters in a dark, unmarked basement off a stolen mimeograph machine.

• Daniel Craig Takes Bond in New Direction [ABCNews.com/AP]

He became a laughing stock again when producers found he did not know a Royal Flush from a Full House.

British card player John Duthie, who has made £1.5million from poker, was jetted to a Berlin hotel to coach Craig.

An insider said: "Daniel could not play cards — it was so funny. It is a critical part of the film, where Bond shows how cool a customer he is.

But it was frustratingly ridiculous how long it took to teach the cast how to play or behave at a poker table.

"Everyone at the hotel has been laughing about a Bond who can't play cards."

For Craig's sake, we'd love to say that the tabs have managed to use up every conceivable Bond-related activity in their insatiable quest to neuter the actor. Of course, that well is far from dry: Look for upcoming exposes on Craig's inability to drink a martini ("He had to get three stitches in his eye after puncturing it on the little plastic olive sword!"), and his complete bafflement as to what to do with a hot, naked woman emerging from the surf, upon which producers will scramble to jet in Britain's greatest porn star, Nigel Cockworthy, Earl of Fuckingham, to coach Craig on the finer points of on-camera lovemaking.

• Diamonds are for what? [The Sun]
• Previously: Tabloids Burn New Bond Yet Again [Defamer]

• Daniel Craig: Gays on Board with New Bond [Towleroad]
• Previously: Blonde Bond: Under The Tuxedo [Defamer]

Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor, has been accused of being a wimp, but now he has a defender: his dad. It is all cobblers, Tim Wroughton-Craig told London s Sunday Mirror. Daniel is a hard lad you wouldn t want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn t like to call him that to his face. As for the idea he doesn t like guns when he was younger he would play with a toy gun like any other boy.

It's touching to see all the proud paternal involvement in the next Bond flick: First villain Mads Mikkelsen's cab driving papa regaled fares about his son's good fortune. And now, 007's old man debunks the entire mean-spirited smear campaign with a hearty "cobblers!" (Which has nothing to do with fruit crisps or shoe-making elves, as it turns out.) Still, we can't help but wonder if having a parent fight his own battles is perhaps just providing Craig's internet detractors with some plutonium-grade ammunition.

• Notes from all over [The Scoop] (second item)
• Previously: Eyebrowless Bond Giving 115 Percent [Defamer]

Yes, Craig did lose or chip a tooth during filming in Prague, but it did not stop production, the actor told reporters. No, he did not suffer from excruciating heat rash in the Bahamas. And of course, an Englishman is perfectly capable of driving a manual gear car.

"You go mad if you believe any of it (the criticism)," Craig, 38, told reporters on Wednesday after distributor Sony Pictures Entertainment Co. and producers EON Productions invited journalists to the Bahamas movie set to counter some of the Internet and newspaper nattering. [...]

"I've been trying to give 110 percent from the beginning and maybe after that (the criticism), I was trying to give 115 percent," he said. "But I mean, I'm giving everything I can."

Accompanying the Reuters report are some exclusive set photos, including one of Craig with a firm double-handed grip on Bond's trademark Walther pistol. Enter then what is perhaps the greatest villain in Bond history: Not Blofeld, nor Goldfinger, but CraigNotBond.com, the website whose raison d'etre appears to be to vaporize Craig, if not off the face of the Earth, at least off the face of the franchise:

NEW 007 DANIEL CRAIG IS FIRST BOND WITHOUT EYEBROWS!

...For over forty years women have been thrilled by the eyebrow lifting of Bonds, particularly Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan. A Bond without eyebrows is a disaster on the level of Austin Powers losing his mojo! Can you imagine Roger Moore playing Bond on Botox? Of course not!

Fellow Bond fans, we ve offered plenty of reasons why actor Daniel Craig is wrong for James Bond, but even we have to admit, this takes the cake. If you agree with us that James Bond can t be 007 without his eyebrows, please visit us at www.CraigNotBond.com to sign our petition and join our boycott of this cinematic disaster-in-the-making, Casino Royale!

Clearly, these evil geniuses, drunk on their own power, will stop at nothing not even eyebrows. God help MGM's beleagured publicists should these troublemakers get a glimpse of Craig's bald chest and immediately issue a press release decrying his very un-Connery obsession with manscaping.

• Blond Bond stirred by criticism, but not shaken [Reuters]
• [craignotbond.com]
• Previously: New Bond Looks Like Everyone But Bond [Defamer]

New 007 Craig wanted a healthy glow for the movie, but ended up James Burned and now can t stop itching.

A source on the Casino Royale set said: It s driving him mad. He constantly wants to scratch. It s worst when he does a costume change. He is in agony.

He has been moaning to his assistants that he s got prickly heat. He is extremely wary of being outside now. But the nature of filming is such that he is out in the heat all day.

What's the next embarrassment to be heaped upon our hero by the nefarious British press? They've previously reported that Craig's lost two teeth and can't drive a stick, but it will take something truly sinister to top "whines about prickly heat," perhaps something involving a severe allergic reaction to a mixture of wine coolers and feminine hygiene products.

• Bond Craig's ow ow seven [The Sun UK via ISRAELLYCOOL]
• Previously: Blonde Bond: Under The Tuxedo [Defamer]
• New Bond Looks Like Everyone But Bond [Defamer]

• Posting Bond [WOW Report]
• Previously: The Ex-Bonds Club Stands Up For Daniel Craig [Defamer]

But it was the predominant Bond of our youth, Roger Moore, who really rallied for Craig, telling a Canadian reporter:

"He's a helluva good actor," said Moore, 78, noting that critics haven't even seen Craig in the role yet. "So why attack him?"

While a vote of confidence from arguably the second- and third-favorite Bonds of all time should help somewhat with Craig's persistent credibility issues, ultimately, what he really needs is for the greatest Bond of all to give him his five-word seal of approval.

• Former 007 Defends Daniel Craig [AP]
• Notes from all over (first item) [The Scoop]
• [You're the Man Now Dog.com]

• Craig's 007 can't get in gear [NY Daily News]
• Craig Lookalikes [Craignotbond.com]

Mikkelsen's casting had been widely expected after reports surfaced this week that the actor's taxi driver father told fares that his son had won the coveted role.

Mikkelsen's credits include "King Arthur," "The Green Butchers," "Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself" and the first two installments of the gritty Danish crime trilogy "Pusher."

With the villain in place, all that leaves is the iconic Bond girl, a role Page Six is already declaring has gone to Eva Green, though no announcement has been made yet. Fans familiar with her mostly naked turn in The Dreamers breathe a huge sigh of relief, knowing as much as the film will likely end up blowing, they can still earn back their admission price through the hard currency of two-hours of staring at a hot piece of French ass.

• Mikkelsen enters 'Casino' as Bond foil [Reuters]
• New Bond Girl [NY Post]

New JAMES BOND DANIEL CRAIG has vowed never to drink alcohol around film directors, because he often finds himself agreeing to outrageous scenes while under the influence.

The 37-year-old actor, who stripped down in his 2000 movie SOME VOICES, blames a heavy boozing session with director SIMON CELLAN JONES for his gratuitous nudity.

Craig says, "The scene was written as me running down the road stripped to the waist covered in tomato juice.

"But then I got drunk at Simon's and said, 'I'll do it naked!' The lesson is never get drunk with directors."

We sincerely hope the Royale propmaster gets the memo, and puts water in those shaken martinis, instead of premium hooch. Craig is enough of an unorthodox candidate as it is; the last thing we need to put the franchise any further into jeopardy is a birthday-suited 007 swerving his Aston Martin across a four lane highway before leaning over to puke in new Bond girl Labia Majora's lap.

• CRAIG BLAMES NUDITY ON ALCOHOL [Contact Music]
• Previously: Bond Vs. Bond [Defamer]

"I didn't seek advice from any man before me, and I don't give any advice to any man after me. He'll find his own way," Brosnan said of Craig, the 37-year-old blond who will inherit the super spy role next year in a remake of "Casino Royale."

"He'll find his own way. He's a wonderful actor. I wish him all the happiness and success."

It's a smart play by Brosnan, who obviously realizes that even if he spends the occasional evening wandering around his house in a martini-fueled haze while wearing a hole-riddled tuxedo t-shirt, trying to resist the temptation to shoot the TV with a silenced Walther P-38 every time a 007 film replays on TNT, he's going to be answering the Bond Question for the rest of his life. There's no need to burn himself out on bitter soundbites before the first Craig movie even shoots.

• 'Old Bond' vs. 'New Bond' at Theaters [ABC News]

· "His name is Craig, Daniel Craig." [Reuters]

· "The name is Craig. Daniel Craig." [Times Online UK]

· The name's Craig. Daniel Craig. [USA Today]

· Craig - Daniel Craig - confirmed as new Bond [CBC.ca]

And just for a splash of variety:

· "Blond. James Blond." [AP]

• You’ll Get Your New James Bond Tomorrow [Defamer]

• Name of James Bond Star to Be Revealed [AP]