defamer casting
As much as we bemoan the dearth of good roles for women, minorities and Coreys, things have really never been worse for gerbils. But a change may be in the offing as early as this weekend, when one lucky hamster has the chance to break the fluorescent-plastic ceiling en route to the A-list:
CASTING Hamster for short film (los angeles)
I am looking for a hamster.
I know I could buy one, but then I would own it. So , I was hoping to just rent one for 50 bucks for a couple hours.
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sold to the highest bidder
A high-finance, tax-free, low-self-esteem business opportunity awaits one lucky C-lister next week in Santa Monica, where the producers of the independent film
David and Fatima are sparing no expense to attract interest in their theatrical premiere. Or perhaps they're sparing a minor marketing expense, maybe a publicity fee and
possibly a professional celebrity wrangler charge (but that's it!) by going straight to Craigslist with the Limited Time Offer you'll find after the jump. Tighten your shoulder straps, Tara Reid — you're wanted back on the red carpet!
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defamer connections
Because we at Defamer are fully committed to bringing together fans of seminal '80s teen comedies and Star Wars geeks in possession of both a Darth Vader mask and a burning need to get laid (of which there should be no shortage), we now pass on a personals ad, salvaged by a sharp-eyed Defamer reader before being snatched from the ether by an unseen hand and replaced with the dreaded "flagged for removal." It read:
Remember the scene in Revenge of the Nerds where the cheerleader gets fucked while the nerd is wearing a Darth Vader costume.
I WANT TO BE THAT CHEERLEADER!
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defamer casting
Just when we started to truly believe that every reality TV idea had already been plundered, comes a Craigslist casting opportunity featuring one of the more fertile premises we've yet heard: It's a show devoted to capturing all the thrilling highs and the "Oops! But I'm almost positive you said it was the left knee that was giving you trouble" lows of a surgeon's first time.
Looking for SURGEON perf 1st surgery of kind or VERY FIRST SURGERY (Los Angeles)
Production Company in Los Angeles is working on a pilot reel for a television series for a major cable network.
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defamer hr
Give your notice! Get your resumes polished! A caps-lock challenged "A-list CELEBRITY MUSICIAN/ACTOR" is
making the HR rounds this week, in search of a personal assistant
who stands to gain lucratively ($1,000/week!
Net!) for doing everything but tucking our anonymous prima donna into lavender-scented slumber every night — though we presume that's not far behind. Follow the jump for some of the criteria you need to make this thankless gig your own.
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investments
A browse through Defamer's Craigslist Hall of Fame suggests a near-future when all of Hollywood's hopes, dreams and ambitions will be funneled directly through the classifieds. We've never been more certain than we were this afternoon, when an eagle-eyed tipster spotted a real genius — not one of these half-assed Uwe Boll types, but a guy who can actually spell "nanotechnology" — on the prowl for a very generous producer:
I have been called a genius by some of the world's top scientists. I became interested in writing scripts many years ago, and studied screenwriting independently (and intensely) between 1985 and 1990, and wrote two practice feature scripts and ten TV scripts. However, I was living in isolation (as geniuses sometimes do), so had no social contacts, much less connections in the industry. ...
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A frustrated, out-of-work actor has taken to Craigslist in search of "alternative methods" to prepare for an upcoming audition: "One of my friends suggested I get into white magic, but I think I should find a expert or someone who knows what they are doing...if you could write me with whatever idea/spell you have to help me that would be great, because like I said I have never done this before." It's actually not the craziest idea we've ever heard, but we'd caution that this sort of thing isn't for the casual dark arts dabbler; properly casting a casting spell is a science, if anything, requiring just the right measurements of eye of lapdog, hair of Andy Dick, and breath of 1st AD. [
Craigslist]
defamer connections
Longtime readers of Defamer know that we like nothing better than to break up the day with a dip into the Defamer Connections basket. This is L.A., however, where every taste and mathematical combination must be accounted for in the worthwhile pursuit of getting one's freak on, and thus requiring us to sometimes stretch the definition and who and what, exactly, constitutes a "connection." Which brings us to today's installment, via Craigslist:
Are you Carrot Top? - mw4m - 32
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defamer connections
Because we at Defamer would like nothing more than to place visiting couples fully indoctrinated into The Lifestyle with spouse-sharing-curious members of the showbiz community who also happen to be in possession of a spare pair of tickets to the Academy Awards and Governor's Ball, we now faithfully reproduce for you a Craigslist ad brought to our attention over the weekend. (It's since been removed by conscientious members of the Craigslist community, who strongly feel that whoring our one's wife, however much mutual consent is involved, has no place in the most venerated and dignified awards show of all. Get thee to The Flackies, pervies!) The ad begins like this:
GF will do anything for Two (2) Tickets to Academy Awards - mw4m - 40
The rest of the ad, plus a screenshot of the goodies up for grabs, follow after the jump:
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Via Craigslist's Missed Connections, our humble attempt to help one anonymous lonelyheart find her briefly encountered soulmate on this Valentine's Day: "
Dark Hair, Striped Sweater, Clean Cut at The Griffin - w4m - 23
I saw you across the bar and couldn't believe my eyes. I was drinking a Guinness and you were talking to two friends. I stood near you, hoping you'd notice me. Did you? Me: dark hair, ponytail, gray jacket, glasses. You: Joseph Gordon-Levitt." [
Craigslist]
From deep within the bowels of Craigslist's Missed Connections section, where crazy hopes that
love will somehow find a way are nurtured, a
Judge Judy fan reaches out to try and find the courtroom spectator of his dreams:
"judge judy lady in audience - m4w
lady in audience sitting behind defendent 1st seat 1st row by walkway wearing black shirt with white trim on judge judy aired in iowa jan 8 08 kristen capozzola white lady vs joshua currier black man seen you on show i found you very very attractive interested in knowing who you are hope to hear from you!" [
Craigslist]
defamer connections
While we usually delight in using this space to bring people together, Defamer Connections is occasionally called upon to step in and lend a hand in prying a stalker and their celebrity prey apart. Never, though, have we encountered an instance like the following—a curious reversal of the traditional male/female, celeb/stalker dynamics, in which a local gymgoer has turned to the Craigslist Bureau of Ships in the Night to address heightening concerns over the hungry eyes of Rachel "Formerly of The O.C., Tomorrow, Who Knows?" Bilson. The posting:
Dear Rachel Bilson, - m4w - 99
You practically raped me with your eyes at the gym the other day.
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hollywood strikewatch
What better way to celebrate Day 5 of the writers strike than by trawling Craigslist—the one place you can find a couch, a job, and a lunchtime quickie within minutes—to see what kinds of opportunities might have arisen from the wreckage:
· Studio executives who failed to get the stockpiling memo: It's not too late. Listing "We Are Saling Our Scripts!" informs deep-pocketed buyers that, "We are saling our scripts to anyone who's willing to purchase at a reasonable price." Bai now before they're all snapped up! [CL]
· The only place you're likely to find more scabs is on Steve O's body. [CL, CL, CL, CL]
· Attempts at humor can be lost entirely on Craigslist's sometimes gullible user base: "RE: SUPPORT THE WRITTERS GIULD...This person states that they are a 'writter', cant even spell his chosen profession! maybe this person is rushing out to get into the strike lines that they just cant be bothered with clicking the spell check button. here are some of the other misspelled words, 'giuld' 'toleraded'" [CL]
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independent cinema
Apparently, we weren't the only ones shocked and saddened to learn that William Shatner's erratic speech patterns and considerable Klingon wrestling experience would not be put to use in the next Star Trek movie. (Some turk named Chris Pine would be playing young Kirk in JJ Abrams' Muppet Babies-esque take on the series.) In Hollywood, however, when one transporter pod closes, another often opens; we're thrilled, then, to direct Mr. Shatner to the following Craigslist casting opportunity for an upcoming major motion picture, tailored to his specific strengths:
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You: A fellow contestant with me over three years ago on that Jaywalking ripoff game show
Street Smarts. Me: Totally hot for you, but had a girlfriend at the time. We: Totally meant for each other! Remember when we both agreed that 17-year-old chick wouldn't be able to name Bill Clinton's daughter? And we were both right? That was the moment I just knew. [
Craigslist]
defamer casting
Even if you're not plugged in enough to reach the A-list talent you'd love to attach to your passion project, Craigslist's virtual casting office always offers hope to those who aren't afraid to dream big: after all, you never know when a well-connected agent, manager, or producer will accidentally stumble across your ad while searching for someone to grant their own seemingly crazy wishes. And if you have tens of thousands of dollars to help motivate your potential middlemen to lend a hand, all the better:
*** $25,000.00 commission ***
I am doing a 90 minute motivational DVD I need someone to bring one of the names below to participate for a day to read a 3 page speech in front of the camera, pay to the actor is $30,000.00 and your commission is $25,000.00 cash.
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defamer employment
Are you a sporadically working WGA member with soft, gentle hands, the ability to breathe quietly, and a willingness to explore unconventional employment options to pick up some extra cash for your personal strike fund? Then head to Craigslist right now, for you can be sure that the following position won't remain unfilled for long:
Slumber Assistant Sought (P/T)
Professional
Must have clean record and pass background check
Prior experience as a personal assistant a plus
Available nightly (7 nights a week) between the hours of 9:30 pm and 11:30 pm
Manicured and gentle hands
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Defamer
