We will leave the decision up to you, the educated Defamer reader, to decide whether or not Page's brevity in conversation and pleasure in killing cows means she wants to hug another woman with her legs in friendship. Us, we're more disappointed in her too-cool-for-school attitude and reluctance play along when Jay lobbed a few "So! What kind of tourist-y things do you do here in LA!" jokes at her (mostly involving dinosaurs, tar pits, and dinosaurs in tar pits). Not to mention yet another wisecrack about how Kev was voted Sexiest Vegetarian a thousand years ago. No Tonight Show guest, no matter how above it all, can be forgiven for allowing Jay to speak or think on his own for that long.

• THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO [NBC]

She wanted me to know that it was SHE who was with Page at the Oscars (though I had been sardonically wondering if it was a mother/girlfriend/whatever). She named a couple of other starlets who also had reps with them at the awards and said it's by no means an unusual practice. (Now I'll have to wonder if THEY'RE gay too.) "I don't know why people are so mean," Bush whinnied in a wounded voice. "It's not mean to wonder if someone's gay," I shrieked, outraged. "But to call her an 'Oscar loser'?" she moaned.

The ensuing contretemps indeed involved retracting the ignominy that dare not speak its name: "I nobly took 'Oscar loser' off the web version faster than Juno gives away her baby," Musto acknowledged today. The move rewards the latest of Bush's humanitarian efforts on behalf of clients including Ellen DeGeneres (for whom she allegedly threatened an animal shelter during DeGeneres' dog-adoption drama last year) and the late Heath Ledger (in whose name Bush recently rallied her client base against Entertainment Tonight) and establishing beyond doubt that Ellen Page was:
1) an Oscar runner-up who
2) did not attend the show with her mother.
We're so glad to finally put this controversy to rest!

• Ellen Page Sexuality Update [La Daily Musto]

I mean, come on already, is she??? You know, Lebanese! She certainly dresses like a, you know, tomboy. And if you google "Ellen Page boyfriend," not a whole lot comes up, except for a link to some interview where she refers to an old beau. And if you google "Ellen Page dating," you get the news that she dated Ben Foster, but then you get a followup saying she denies that ever happened. Who did she go to the Oscars with? I couldn't tell from the cropped shots of her, but it looked like she was maybe with her mother? For guys, that used to signify 100% gay, but for girls, it might just mean young and/or Canadian—or, um, gay. ... [L]et's put the dykey pieces together. Is Juno a you know?"

It's not taking long for the pieces to trickle in either: The screengrab of Page's Oscar date, for example; or the careful parsing of everything from her footwear to her ambivalence toward Vanity Fair glamdom. Then there's Jack & Diane, the long-gestating film to which she's attached to star opposite her Juno pal Olivia Thirlby as a young New York lesbian who "must struggle to keep their love alive while hiding the secret that her newly awakened sexual desire occasionally turns her into a werewolf." Brilliant! An Oscar nod and a lesbian werewolf role before she's even 22. I've often visualized Page as the new Jodie Foster — and she didn't even need to pay her dues in Bugsy Malone! These kids today, I swear.

• Page Will Not Win [Hollywood Elsewhere]
• Ellen Page: Is She or Isn't She? [La Daily Musto]
• Ellen's "Date" at the Oscars [Girlfriend is a Homo]
• What Juno About Ellen Page? [Girlfriend is a Homo]
• Jack & Diane [So and Brad]