Carlin was a social commentator, an aggravator, and an etymologist, but first and foremost, he was funny. The routine to which he'll be forever associated was "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television," (full text here), which wasn't necessarily his best, but would wind up getting him arrested in Milwaukee in 1972 on obscenity charges, instantly elevating the bit to the pantheon of Sacred Dangerous Comic Texts. The routine's airing on New York radio would later be cited by the U.S. Supreme Court in a 1978 ruling on FCC broadcast fines. No reactionary comic could ever have asked for more.

Gawker collects seven memorable monologues, including "Seven Words," rightly observing that there would be no Lewis Blacks or Bill Mahers—or Bill Hickses, for that matter—without Carlin. But for us at least, it was in his simplest observations about language—such as in this classic bit above contrasting the blithe terminology of baseball to football's inherent fascism (parks vs. stadiums, caps vs. helmets, ups vs. downs)—where his true genius was on display.

• How George Carlin Changed Comedy [time.com]
• George Carlin mourned as counterculture hero [AP]

• Pledge to Hedley Lamarr [YouTube]
• 'Carol Burnett' star Harvey Korman dies at 81 [AP]

For unknown reasons, the bear lunged at 39-year-old Stephan Miller, a trainer at Randy Miller's Predators in Action, about 3 p.m. and bit him in the neck, said sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers. [...]

She added that officials from Cal OSHA and the state Department of Fish and Game were investigating, and it was not immediately known what would happen to the bear. [...]

Fish and Game spokesman Harry Morse said its patrol chief knew of no safety violations at Predators in Action. He said the department's main task with such companies is to make certain the animals are well treated.

"This is a commercial venture," he said of Predators in Action. "It's part of the entertainment industry."

The video above, which we stumbled upon on YouTube, shows the victim's cousin Randy (who played Ferrell's stunt-double) rehearsing the wrestling scene with Rocky. It gives a good indication of the size and power we're talking about here, where one mini-tantrum—perhaps set off after showing up to set to learn some gaffer has grabbed the last flopping, whole salmon from the craft services table—can lead to deadly results.

• Show biz grizzly kills trainer at Southern California animal facility [LAT]

Try, if you can, to tune out the grating commentators speculating as to Ledger's state of mind when he made this, and instead focus of the gorgeous "Dog" melody (so named for Winston Churchill's famous description of depression), and Heath's haunting, black and white visual accompaniment. The final scene, which they deem "too graphic for us to broadcast," reportedly depicts Ledger drowning himself in a baththub. Once you're done watching, we then suggest you hang out with these furry BFFs for a little while.

• A Current Affair AUS
• Heath Ledger's Video For Nick Drake Song: Eerie Postscript To Actor's Death [MTV]

• Star of 'Jaws' and 'All That Jazz' [LAT]

Estate executor Howard K. Stern, meanwhile—whom you may or may not remember ignoring a child's pleas not to exploit a drug-addled Smith for a zombie-clown video—tells ET he's established the Anna Nicole and Daniel Wayne Smith Charitable Foundation: "It will benefit charitable causes that Anna Nicole supported during her life: children, the elderly, and the treatment and cure of AIDS. Hopefully it will grow, help more people each year, and eventually be headed by her daughter Dannielynn," an exciting possibility we're sure will come to pass just as soon as Birkhead figures out how to take a fair cut of whatever Stern's pulling off the bottom line.

• Foundation Pays Tribute to Anna Nicole [ETOnline]

By the [day after Ledger's death], a man claiming to be Kim Ledger managed to get Cruise on the phone, a source said.

Over the next few days, he "had had a couple of conversations with" Cruise, asking for emotional support, said the source. But Cruise abruptly cut him off when he learned "he was an impostor," the source said. "Heath's reps found out there was this hoaxer and they called various celebs." Sources close to Cruise confirmed the impostor contacted him.

Travolta publicist Samantha Mast said, "John spoke with the guy briefly before he realized he was an impostor. He did not make arrangements to buy him a plane ticket." But a source said Travolta, who had been "making arrangements to buy [the impostor] a plane ticket from Australia to LA and subsequently to New York."

Realizing the death of a fellow A-lister was the tragic-accident equivalent of a 28-car pileup on a rain-slicked freeway, the cruel impostor's grift was slyly calculated to take full advantage of Cruise and Travolta's lifelong pledge to good Scientological samaritanism. It's to their credit that both actors lept to his aid, erring on the side of gullibility, rather than first insisting the voice on the other end of the line be subjected to a personality test intake exam and e-meter reading, just to verify his stress-levels matched those of an authentically grieving parent.

• SICKO POSES AS HEATH'S FATHER [NY Post]

[WB marketing head Sue] Kroll will likely have to move quickly to rejigger the studio's current phase of the marketing campaign for "Dark Knight," focusing on Ledger's Joker character. This phase of the campaign had been set to run until March.

Knight isn't the first superhero blockbuster marketing campaign to suffer from unanticipated tragedy: Besides The Crow, we're reminded of that circa 9-11 Spider-Man teaser in which goalpost Twin Towers trapped a getaway chopper in the web-slung net suspended between them. But that was a standalone spot, easily pulled from theaters and the final cut without affecting the rest of the movie. Excising Ledger from the campaign, already aggressively positioned by the studio as the showy villain centerpiece of the Batman Begins sequel, would be a far dicier proposition. We can only hope director Christopher Nolan doesn't, in a moment of grief-induced panic, cave to the studio's suggestions that he write in an 11th hour Robin, then roll out a far less ominous second-phase campaign built entirely around re-shoots featuring Zac Efron in the iconic red, green, and yellow costume.

• Fate of Ledger's last films uncertain [Variety]

· Flowers and candles line the sidewalk outside the Broome St. apartment, which does not belong to Mary-Kate Olsen. [AP]
· Michelle Williams flew into New York from the set of Mammoth in Sweden, according to one witness, "Quiet ... not saying a word. She was in her own world." Page Six has a photo if you need to see what that looks like. [Us, Page Six]
· OK, here's a strange one: Approached for a quote last night in London, Jack Nicholson said, "I warned him." [Daily Mail]

"The studio is stunned and devastated by this tragic news. The entertainment community has lost an enormous talent. Heath was a brilliant actor and an exceptional person. Our hearts go out to his family and friends."

The irony, of course, is that The Joker will be one of Heath's greatest, destined to be referenced first, along with Brokeback, as his legend grows. Still—if the performance wasn't nightmare-fuel before... (And it was. Just watch that trailer.) Expect an immediate repositioning in the Knight campaign, with Bale's Cowled Crusader ushered back to front and center, for the time being at least. We need heroes right now.

• The Dark Knight

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said.

The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger's bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. The police said they did not suspect foul play. Officials said pills fear found near the body.

Defamer associate editor Molly Friedman was just blocks away from his home when the news broke. She'll be posting her eyewitness account momentarily, along with some video taken at the scene.

• Actor Heath Ledger Is Found Dead [NY Times]

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead today in a Broome Street apartment, apparently from a drug overdose, PageSix.com has learned...

We're in shock. Seriously. Can't. Breathe. Updates as they come.

• Heath Ledger Has Died [PageSix]

• E! News [eonline.com]

Upon learning of his client's death, Richard Kaplan, Renfro's longtime lawyer and champion, offered, "He was working hard on his sobriety. He was doing well. He was a nice person." Renfro was also working, period, having just wrapped a part in what would become his last movie—The Informers. Based on the Bret Easton Ellis short story collection, the large ensemble film also stars Billy Bob Thornton, Winona Ryder, and Mickey Rourke, and follows, Short Cuts- and Magnolia-style, seven stories set in 1980s Los Angeles over the course of one week. Its one-sheet tagline, over a ceramic sculpture of a melancholy pretty boy's face: "Greed is good. Sex is easy. Youth is forever."

• Troubled Actor Brad Renfro Found Dead in His Los Angeles Home at Age 25 [abcnews.go.com]

· Broadway and Hollywood choreographer Michael Kidd dies at age 92. [Variety]
· NBC takes Christmas night with their overstuffed, two-hour Deal or No Deal Christmas special, an evening of contestants screaming at busty elves holding festively decorated briefcases, and a suspiciously OCD Santa who refused to touch any children, regardless of naughty or nice status. [THR]
· Someone named Robert Pattinson has "joined the cast of Twilight, Summit Entertainment's teen-vampire thriller." If you'll now excuse us, we're going to bury our faces in what's left of the figgy pudding. [THR]

Winfrey's production company has finally offered them a statement concerning the doctor's 2003 appearance on her program, maintaining the Larry King blueballs-facilitator was brought on purely as the host of Discovery Channel's Plastic Surgery: Before and After, and not as a surgeon, therefore not warranting a background check. Still, Oprah did mention to an audience member interested in having some work done, "We may know somebody." The off-hand remark is looped at the :47 point for maximum goofy-sounding/damning effect—a blasphemous editing choice sure to cause a torrent of hellfire to rain upon the TMZ headquarters, one of the exalted talk show host's favorite skin-melting things.

• TMZ TV

• Patient to Dr. Adams — You Botched My Boobs! [TMZ]

· A 911 call placed 7:35 pm Saturday brought paramedics to her home. By the time she arrived at Centinela Freeman Hospital in Marina del Rey, she was unresponsive and pronounced dead at 8:29 p.m. at the age of 58. [TMZ]
· Another surgeon recently refused to operate on West because of a heart condition. [AP]
· Six family members waited anxiously in the Centinela Freeman ER while they attempted to resuscitate the patient. A formal autopsy is scheduled for this week. [Us]

· Unabashed mama's boy West always credited Donda with his success, once telling MTV's Diary, "This is my mother. I love her. She is my best friend in the whole world. My mother let me work on music, she helped me out, she used to drive me to the studio. She was really my first manager. She's still my general manger." [MTV]
· She spent 30 years as an English professor at Chicago State University, becoming Chair of the department. She retired to concentrate on promoting Kanye's career, eventually being named chief executive of West Brands LLC, the Kanye's parent company, and head of the Kanye West Foundation, which "aims to keep inner-city youth in school and improve literacy." [Reuters]
· In her memoir Raising Kanye, Donda talked of the year she and Kanye spent in China together: "While I struggled to put together simple phrases, before they left, he was able to speak and understand the language fairly well." [Jezebel]
· Kanye often rapped about his mom, including on "Touch the Sky," in which he remembered the time she drove him from Chicago to New York in a U-Haul van. [CNN]

• Singer Robert Goulet Dies at 73 [AP]

We probably felt the same way that you did upon reading this headline from USAToday.com: Could Jerry Lewis, America's Clown Prince and host of countless muscular dystrophy telethons, have possibly uttered such callous words about recently departed friend and contemporary Merv Griffin? Well, yes—yes he did, but as in all headline-grabbing celebrity soundbites, context is everything, and what might have come off like the equivalent of fellow prostate cancer sufferer Lewis taking an intermittent pee on Griffin's freshly filled grave was instead part of a larger interview, airing tomorrow on Entertainment Tonight, in which Lewis expressed frustration that Griffin didn't immediately seek the medical care he required to beat the stubborn disease.

Still, we imagine the comic auteur will receive some backlash for the bluntness of his sentiments, but coming from a man who once directed himself playing a clown who lured Jewish children into Auschwitz with balloon animals, it's not exactly a news flash that subtlety was never Lewis's strong suit.

• [ETOnline]
• Jerry Lewis: Merv Griffin 'deserved to die' [usatoday.com]

The full press release:

JERRY LEWIS SPEAKS TO ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT ABOUT MERV GRIFFIN'S DEATH AND WHY HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE

August 23, 2007 (Los Angeles, CA)— ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT spoke with Telethon veteran, Jerry Lewis about his good friend Merv Griffin. Lewis expresses his disdain for the fact that Griffin did not get screened for cancer. He tells ET, "I was very angry when I heard he died. He didn't have to die. He knew he had prostate cancer and he did nothing about it. He deserved to die." Lewis adds, "You can't have cancer and say, I'll be alright. You're not going to be alright. It's a malady that has to be addressed. I had it. I went and had it addressed and got it out of there."

Jerry Lewis tells ET, "I'm going to beat George Burns. Burns died at 100, I'm going to go for 101 and I want a television special for my 101st birthday!"

· Offering a tour of the photos lining his office walls, Griffin once indicated he was on a nickname-only basis with the greatest civil rights crusader of our time: "Yes, here I am with John Kennedy...And here I am with Frank Sinatra...And here's Elizabeth Taylor...And Marty King..." [pastdeadline.com]
· The numbers you're probably wondering about: $1.6 billion, one son, two grandchildren. [LAT]
· Merv composed the Jeopardy theme music himself, which he banged out on his piano in less than 30 minutes— a melody he anticipated earned him somewhere between $70-$80 million, or what Merv dismissively referred to as "cabana boy tip money." [National Post]

• Charles Nelson Reilly, 76, actor [Variety]
• Charles Nelson Reilly Host Match Game?!?! [YouTube]