Let’s begin by noting that Troll, the 1986 low-budget comedy/horror flick, was named as one of the 50 Worst Movies Ever Made in a documentary film of the same name. Of course, the doc was made in 2004, so it’s quite possible I Know Who Killed Me might have bumped it off the list were it released beforehand. Moving on! Among the myriad reasons why the Rosemary’s Baby-meets-The Exorcist-meets-Chuckie caper was a horrendous hack job unworthy of its two sequels or any kind of remake whatsoever, is this bit of trivia: a young male character in the film is named Harry Potter Jr., and due to the presence of a young male character with the same name in JK Rowling’s bank-breaking series and films, original Troll writer/director John Carl Buechler is of the opinion that he invented “the original Harry Potter.”

So what joy awaits us should Ali nail the role? For those of you who haven’t weeped through a viewing of this Dark Crystal wannabe, Torak the Troll is a funny-looking little demon thing who possesses inhabitants of an apartment building, infusing them with the spirits of things like goblins and bugbears, trapping them in coffins and unleashing murderous bat monsters, his version of Judge Doom’s “Dip.” But the far-from-funny dialogue and moldy amateur filming led to its rep as an all-time worst of the worst. Little Ali, should she be lucky enough to play Torak’s beloved ex-wife Eunice, will be making her big screen debut as a witch whose heart belongs to one of the most despised and ignored horror villains in movie history. We can just hear Dina’s overly-tight jeans snapping in half as she high-kicks her way into an adrenaline rush higher than any Lindsay has ever experienced. Bravo.

• ALI LOHAN: TROLL'S NEW GIRL? [E!]

According to People, Connor went through the audition process just like every other nobody pounding the kid star pavement and, lo and behold, won the part of playing a young Will Smith in the film. We hate to play the cynical card here, but there is one giant elephant in that casting room. Seven Pounds also stars he of the firmest buttocks in the land, Woody Harrelson, and internet TV star Rosario Dawson. So how did Connor, a kid whose acting experience has thus far been limited to pretending he loves his kooky dad, nail the part? Something tells us Cruise's all-powerful wizardly ways as gifted to him by the late King Hubbard, may include the ability to whisper evil nothings in Will's ear, leading to an instantaneous confirmation that Connor is The One. Call it a conspiracy theory, but we're just pondering out loud (well, pondering silently at our laptops, but you catch our drift).

• CONNOR CRUISE IS MAKING HIS BIG SCREEN DEBUT [People]

• The 30 Most Ill-Conceived Movie Monsters [Cracked.com]

· He's Canadian, à la Priestley.
· He's created colloquialisms.
· Given the choice, he would prefer not to be farted on by fellow plane passengers.
· He thinks Facebook should be called Lamebook.

...And his agent is pulling the plug on his online diary as we speak.

Milligan is set to play Ethan, who, according to a recently leaked character breakdown, is a jock who falls out of favor with the cool kids and into the 90210 crowd, who are of course, way cooler in their own improbably unique way. Now all he needs is his Naomi Bennett, the super hot and rich ex whose bitchiness belies hidden depths. Might we suggest, to whichever lucky lady is cast, a dose of beano before the first table read?

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Dustin Milligan first in new '90210' [THR]

The Beek, who has capitalized on his teen stardom with a string of forgettable movies (Varsity Blues excluded, of course) and guest appearances designed to play against the "Dawson" type — a serial killer on Criminal Minds, a douchebag ad buyer on Ugly Betty — will play a love interest for Cobie Smulders' character's Canadian pop star alter-ego, Robin Sparkles. No details yet, but if Sparkles last appearance is any indication, he'll win her over with his skateboarding tricks, take her to the foodcourt with a robot chaperone and rock her body until Canada Day.

• Exclusive: James Van Der Beek Gets In on the Robin Sparkles Action [E!]

Not part of the open call in New York in October, Mr. Woolard had been under consideration since November, and was quietly being groomed by the film's director, George Tillman Jr., before being officially selected.

"We set up a boot camp for three months just for him," Mr. Tillman said from New York, where he is preparing to begin production with Robert Teitel, his partner in State Street Pictures.

With the sizable share of lip-syncing planned for Notorious, Tillman didn't even necessarily require a seasoned rapper to fill Biggie's shoes. More glaringly, Searchlight's marketing and publicity overlords, who could sell snow to Eskimos (alas, there aren't enough Eskimos in the Academy to secure a Best Picture win), have clearly outdone themselves by positioning Notorious as both the early favorite for Juno-esque quasi-underdog glory and cheaply trivializing a share of the audience whose appeal it will primarily court. "We want the movie to be an anthem for a generation," studio boss Peter Rice told NYT reporter Michael Cieply. Terrific, Pete, but keep it short — at least 100 members of that generation already want their three or four hours back.

• Film Skirts Loose Ends in Death of a Rapper [Source]

We've settled upon Stanley Tucci as Spitzer, who beyond bearing more than a passing physical resemblance to the Governor, is a formidable actor who will bring the necessary gravitas to the part of the crusading politician caught with his hand in the high-class call-girl cookie jar. And as the forgiving Silda, nothing less than Battlestar Galactica's President Mary McDonnell will do.

• In Which Eliot Spitzer Does Something He Shouldn't — With a Lady! [Gawker]

· USA buys the cable rights to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (as well as those of the first three Indy installments) in a deal that could cost $40 million, depending on how much Crystal Skull earns in theaters. [Variety]
· The AMPTP says it's ready to start bargaining with SAG on a new contract, but reserves the right to walk away from negotiations in bad faith should they decide at any point that doing would be a good PR move that makes the actors seem "greedy" and "unreasonable." [Variety]

· Mark Burnett teams up with Sony Pictures TV to adapt a Japanese reality show where entrepreneurs beg millionaires to invest in their money-making schemes. And Burnett's already making things happen! He's changed the name of the project from Dragon's Den to The Shark Tank, an application of his much-sought-after golden touch that should be good for at least a million more viewers per episode. [Variety]
· Force majeured writers could be found wandering aimlessly around virtually every studio lot on Back to Work Wednesday, trying to figure out what their post-deal futures might hold. [Variety]
· Meanwhile, those scribes returning to shows marvel anew at kitchens stocked with the free, delicious snacks that will help them survive the incredibly long hours in the Room they face as they scramble to catch up on three months' worth of missed work. [THR]

· Re-teaming alert! Jim Jarmusch will reunite his Broken Flowers co-stars Bill Murray and Tilda Swinton in The Limits of Control, a thriller/road movie about a "mysterious loner" up to no good. [THR]
· Jericho finally returns from hiatus, but to ratings close to those that earned it the short-lived cancellation that inspired outraged fans to bury short-sighted CBS executives in several tons of peanuts. Meanwhile, American Idol's two-hour Back to Hollywood episode put up the series' best numbers since its premiere. [THR]
· A cheerily delusional FCC chairman Kevin Martin tells the House of Representatives that he expects the coming transition from analog to digital television will be a smooth one, dismissing fears of nationwide riots induced by the unexpected, simultaneous darkening of millions of TV sets as "somewhat unlikely." [Variety]

· Renee Zellweger is close to a deal to star in My One and Only, a road picture based on a story permabronzed raconteur George Hamilton once told Merv Griffin about his mom's hunt for a sugardaddy willing to provide the good life to her and her sons. [Variety]
· Lost executive producer Carlton Cuse hopes to squeeze in five more episodes this season, whether or not there's enough time to figure out where they left things before the strike. [THR]
· NBC continues to dominate a still strike-plagued Monday night behind 90-minutes blocks of American Gladiators and Deal or No Deal, with the latter show recently resorting to placing $1 million prizes in each of the show's 26 briefcases in an attempt to keep ratings high. [Variety]

· Perhaps hoping that going the biopic route might help her find her way back into the Academy's good graces, directionless two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank agrees to play Amelia Earhart in Mira Nair's Amelia. [Variety]
· Sadly, network abomination The CW and purveyor of scripted, sports-related entertainment The WWE have decided to end their decade-long SmackDown partnership, one that dates back all the way to the bastard netlet's UPN days. [Variety]
· Martin Scorsese selects Bob Marley as the next object of his music-documentary affection, but has yet to choose the Marley lyric or song that will serve as the project's title. [THR]

· Hard-to-kill Heroes cheerleader and Official Friend of the Dolphins Hayden Panettiere joins the cast of teen comedy Daydream Nation, possibly opposite a Culkin. [Variety]
· FX has abruptly decided not to order any more episodes of Dirt or The Riches because of the strike's interruption of their production, but hasn't yet ruled out the possibility that they might renew the shows for third seasons that will have to awkwardly resolve all the plot threads cut in the middle of this abbreviated run. [THR]
· CBS is its moving Survivor brand into fitness products, starting with something called "Supercharged Sunflower Seeds," a snack undoubtedly rich in the nutrients one needs to live while stranded on a deserted island or trapped in a remote part of China. [Variety]

Apparently, the people at General Motors who've long been signing Arnett's paychecks to be the voice of GMC Trucks have suddenly become aware that the revived Knight Rider is essentially a co-production between NBC and rival Ford (whose logo not only appears in all promotions for the program, but will be digitally superimposed upon new star Justin Bruening's forehead in every frame), and have politely asked their spokesman to step away from the project. Despite this bizarrely late-arriving contractual snafu, we must credit Peacock emperor Ben Silverman with making a spectacular save in landing Kilmer; the gifted actor will surely bring a new dimension to the part, alternately imbuing the supercar's lines with a fluid, Morrisonesque sexuality, an Iceman-quality arrogance, or thundering, Old Testament menace.

• Val Kilmer voices 'Knight Rider' [Variety]

(213): Come on, who would be McG's "dream Terminator"?!

McG: [I]t's very difficult to say because it's a decidedly masculine role and I think we're living in a time where a lot of actors are very effeminate and they're sort of skinny, heroine chic and there's really a masculine component to the role. And there's guys out there like Russell Crowe and Eric Bana, bring a good physicality, they do what they do, but I don't know if they're exactly right at the end of the day. (Smiles) Josh Brolin is a very exciting actor - we'll see.

Impressively, McG manages in one response to not only out Hollywood's entire male movie star population, but to also drop the kinds of A-list names that make it clear he has no intention of squandering this casting opportunity on someone like The Rock. (Who, now that we mention it, would make the greatest Terminator, like, ever.) Still, if that telling smile preceding Brolin's name is any indication, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins would feature the most intimidating mechanical assassin yet, especially if it's outfitted with a creepy Ramona wig like the T-Chigurh model had.

• 213 Exclusive: McG talks Terminator! [the213.net]

· Following through on its threats to abandon the traditional TV development system, NBC picks up Kath & Kim* straight to series with a six episode order, bypassing the wasteful, "let's see if this actually works when we try and shoot it" pilot phase. (*In fairness, this is a Pre-Proven Foreign Hit, so domestic success is virtually guaranteed.) [Variety]
· Brittany Murphy CareerWatch: the actress signs on for the indie Across the Hall, and is considering a chance to replace thrice-rehabbed insurance nightmare Lindsay Lohan in the troubled Poor Things. [THR]
· Casey Affleck is cast in the yet-to-be-scripted adaptation of Tom Epperson's period noir drama The Kind One, in which he'll play the most adorable (pinch his cheeks! Jump on his face!) amnesiac who makes the mistake of falling in love with a sadistic killer's girlfriend Hollywood has ever seen. [Variety]

· As long as we're on the topic of Fox's recent Nielsen domination, Idol and a new episode of House induced the customary morning-after bouts of despair in the network's floundering rivals. [THR]
· Marie Osmond, America's Mysteriously Fainting, Misfortune-Plagued Dancing with the Stars Darling, is looking to return to daytime TV. [THR]
· Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and unfamous friend Sean Bailey disband LivePlanet the multimedia company that once produce our beloved Project Greenlight. Gulager! [Variety]

· Four out of five of Oscar's Best Picture contenders experienced a box office bump following last Tuesday's announcement of the nominations; of the Academy's newly anointed, only Atonement took in less money than the previous weekend, perhaps suggesting that naughty Keira Knightley fans had already ponied up their $12 to steal a look at her partially slip-obscured goodies. [Variety]
· NBC sues Law & Order executive producer Dick Wolf, asking a court to help them figure out much money the company must cough up if they decide to cancel any of his fifteen L&O permutations. [Variety]
· Sony Pictures Classics buys the rights to Sundance's The Wackness, more commonly known as The One Where An Olsen Twin And Sir Ben Kingsley Make Out. [Variety]

· In other NBC-related news, Selma Blair is in negotiations to join Molly Shannon in cast of the sitcom pilot Kath & Kim, another adaptation of one of those pre-approved foreign hits Silverman loves so dearly. [THR]
· In what could be the most optimistic words written about the WGA/AMPTP war in weeks, Var welcomes the beginning of informal, post-DGA-deal talks between the studios and Guild thusly: "Today could be the beginning of the end of the three-month writers strike." [Variety]
· NBC's block of Must See Screaming At Briefcases And Failed Pro Bodybuilders Shooting Tennis Balls At Part-Time Personal Trainers TV (i.e., Deal or No Deal and Gladiators) romps to Nielsen victory on Monday night. [THR]

· Everyone is Hollywood is "on edge" (about as big an understatement as we've ever read—how about "doubled over due to gut-splitting tension"?) as they wonder: Where the hell is this imminent DGA deal with the studios that will either a) contain terms just good enough to lead the way to a new contract with the WGA or b) be so unfavorable to writers that the current labor war will continue until the Earth hurtles into the sun? Relief in the form of an official deal announcement may or may not come by the end of the week. [Variety]
· Moving to cement her typecasting as a cheerleader, indestructible Heroes pom-pom girl Hayden Panettiere is in negotiations to star in an adaptation of the novel I Love You, Beth Cooper as a teenage spirit-squadder. [THR]
· Fulfilling its promise to lighten up on staff during the strike, Warner Brothers lays off about three dozen facilities employees. They are, however "very sorry for the impact this has on our nonstriking work force." [THR]

· The American Society of Cinematographers will honor Annette Bening for never making her DPs sully their craft by insisting that all lenses trained upon her be slathered in the youth-conferring lubricants demanded by her more vain peers. [THR]
· Rent will close on June 1st after ten wildly popular, overrated years on Broadway. [THR]
· Forest Whitaker enters the "playing coaches in uplifting sports dramas" phase of his Oscar-winning career, as he's in negotiations to join the cast of Patriots as the man who led a high school basketball team to the Louisiana state championship following Hurricane Katrina. [Variety]

·Once again indulging the female facial hair fetish she previously explored via her memorable Frida unibrow, Salma Hayek will play the bearded lady in Paul Weitz's Cirque du Freak. [Variety]
· How is the writers strike affecting Canadians starved for imported American TV content? Click through and find out! [THR]
· Christian Bale is "in negotiations" to join Michael Mann's movie Public Enemy as the FBI agent hot on the trail of Johnny Depp's legendarily beschlonged mobster John Dillinger. [Variety]

· The studios and the DGA are taking their time "slow dancing" a "protracted tango" on their way to the upcoming commencement of contract talks, a courtship ritual the jilted WGA hopes doesn't quickly lead to quick, sloppy "fucking in the coatcheck room" negotiations that could set a bad precedent for writers. [THR]
· Lovable Access Hollywood mannequin Billy Bush will host this year's Flackies, the 45th annual conferring of the always-hotly-anticipated Publicist Awards. [Variety]

· In a move sure to broaden the film's appeal among urban audiences but which probably won't be met with approval by hard-core fanboys, Tyler Perry has joined the cast of JJ Abrams' Star Trek, in which he'll play the sassy, fat-suited grandmother figure who runs Starfleet Academy. [THR]
· THR declares the record-setting 2007 The Year Of The Thrilling Threequel, noting that four of last year's 10 top-grossing films were no-brainer third installments of established blockbuster franchises. [THR]
· Meanwhile, the grosses for "specialty" films were down 4% in 2007, which couldn't rely on the public's insatiable appetite for pirates and superheroes to spur them to box office heights. [Variety]

· Another place where the studios are making more money than ever: the overseas box office. [Variety]
· Fox is delighted that college football players never go on strike, winning Tuesday's Nielsen battle in both total viewers and The Coveted 18-49 Demographic on the strength of the Hawaii/Georgia Sugar Bowl. [THR]
· Recent Sweeney Todd star Sacha Baron Cohen, still doggedly determined to leave his provocative, naked-fat-guy-wrestling big-screen persona behind, is attached to play "hippie ringleader" Abbie Hoffman in Steven Spielberg's long-gestating™ project The Trial of the Chicago Seven. [Variety]

In the role of the charismatic former leader, undaunted by previous threats on her life in her mission to bring democracy to the South Asian country, we offer TV and TV-Film actress Kim Delaney. Besides bearing an uncanny resemblance to one another, both have faced their share of workplace adversity, with Bhutto having been exiled from Pakistan after facing corruption charges, and Delaney having been exiled from CSI: Miami for being too-easily plied with liquid payouts. And in the part of her political rival, accused dictator President Musharraf (perhaps Will Smith can turn him around), we offer Battlestar Galactica's Admiral William "Bill" Adama, aka Edward James Olmos, really the only logical choice when it comes to swarthy, bespectacled martial-types rocking the epaulets and medals.

• Pakistan's Benazir Bhutto assassinated at rally [LAT]
• Previously: Defamer Casting: Toni Collette Expecting A Call For Spacesuit And Adult Diaper Fittings [Defamer]

· Just a few days after threatening it would begin its own negotiations with the AMPTP shortly after the new year if the writers and studios didn't get their bargaining shit together immediately, the DGA is now offering to share its research on new media compensation with the WGA. [Variety]
· NBC and ABC's strike-proof primetime schedule spackle, Clash of the Choirs and Duel, respectively, bomb in their debuts. [THR]
· Guy Oseary, superstar manager to the likes of Madonna and David Blaine, signs the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez to his client roster, agreeing to "help him have more control of [the] image and brand" he seems to fuck up at every opportunity. [Variety]

· John Singleton is in "early talks" to direct a big-screen version of beloved 80s ragtag-vigilante series The A-Team for Fox, and is reportedly floating the (pretty brilliant) idea of having Ice Cube reprise Mr. T's iconic role as the gloriously mohawked, attitudinally challenged enforcer B.A. Baracus. The studio, unfortunately, is denying rumors of Cube's possible involvement. [Variety]
· Knocked Up, Juno, There Will Be Blood, and No Country For Old Men all made the American Film Institute's list of the ten best movies of the year. Sadly overlooked: unexpected megahit Alvin and the Chipmunks. [Variety]
· Meanwhile, the International Press Academy gave its best drama and comedy Satellite awards to No Country and Juno, respectively. [THR]

· Scary Movie visionaries Keenan Ivory, Shawn and Marlon Wayans are bringing their light, satirical touch to a send-up of cop movies, in which no more than three unlucky officers will be stabbed to death with engorged penises. [Variety]
· Dax Shepard signs with CAA, who've promised the actor that they'd make sure he's no longer only getting the scripts Ashton Kutcher has passed on. [THR]
· Roger King, the executive who first delivered Oprah Winfrey to a national television audience, has died of a stroke at 63. [THR]

· Meanwhile, ABC and CBS fired some of their final first-run, scripted TV bullets at each other Thursday night, with new episodes of Grey's winning the 18-49 demo and CSI taking a victory in total viewers. [THR]
· The Devil Wears Prada's Anne Hathaway! How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days' Kate Hudson! Starring in...Bride Wars! (Two best friends, one wedding date, fatal gunfire etc etc.) [Variety]
· Realizing that only rival Sumner Redstone lives forever, Rupert Murdoch has started to hand over the reigns of New Corp to son James. [THR]

So here is a little casting that my agency has posted! Proof that nothing is as it seems in Hollywood:

Photo double / Female / Caucasian / 18 - 25 /

We are casting for a Britney Spears body double for her Blender Magazine photoshoot. You must have shoulder to medium length blonde hair.

This person must also be in shape! 5'2" to 5'5". This will be a take off of a Bert Stern photograph of Marilyn Monroe in bed, from the last shoot before her death. Your face will not be shown in the final photograph/cover. You will just be her toned-fit body"

Now that we read it again, we're really beginning to have doubts: The implication that Blender would somehow further exploit the tattered pop princess by having her face grafted onto someone else's body for a photoshoot recreating the last days of Marilyn seems almost too outrageous to be true, as any art director would be perfectly happy using Spears's current frame to effectively evoke the iconic, full-figured blonde bombshell tumbling helplessly down a dark well paved in self-destruction.

· Grateful that NBC is bringing back their The Apprentice for another marginally rated, but still lucrative, season, Donald Trump and producer Mark Burnett are giving the network a cut of the product-whoring fees derived from the show's many brand-promoting challenges. [THR]
· Edward Norton will play identical twins ("one an Ivy League classics professo rand the other a hedonistic pot-smoking career criminal," naturally) in Tim Blake Nelson's comedy thriller Leaves of Grass. [Variety]

· Today's most dispiriting strike-related lede: "With both sides back at the barricades, many believe the writers strike won't be resolved until March at the earliest." See you on the other side of Armageddon, Hollywood survivors! [Variety]
· Onetime UPN pilot Tanner Hall, is being reborn as an indie feature film, starring Tom Everett Scott, Amy Sedaris, and Chris Kattan. [THR]
· In a happy side effect of the strike (for actors and studios), projects canceled by the work stoppage have freed up some big-name talent to shoot films until the DGA and SAG contracts expire in June.[Variety]

· Last night's Dancing with the Stars finale wasn't quite as popular as the show's previous season-ending offerings, but it was still high-rated enough to give ABC its biggest Tuesday night Nielsens in seven years. A basket full of muffins from Steve McPherson has already been delivered to Helio Castroneves in gratitude. [Variety]
· Depending on who you are, The Golden Compass is either too religious, or not religious enough. [THR]
· The Sundance festival unveils the lineup of independent films that inevitably will be overshadowed by constant media reports about which Park City gifting suites and nightclubs Paris Hilton and the cast of Entourage are frequenting. [Variety]

The project is in such an early phase of development that the script won't even be written until after the conclusion of the WGA strike, but we've already picked out a pivotal moment from Namath's life that will become the centerpiece of the biopic's eventual trailer, proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that even if the football scenes end up a little unconvincing, the unselfconscious Gyllenhaal was the perfect choice to portray Broadway Joe:

Gyllenhaal tapped for Namath film [Variety]

· Warner Bros.' Jeff Robinov gets a promotion or a new title or something. Get excited! [Variety]
· The first installment of the two-part Dancing with the Stars finale is Monday night's top-rated show, an impressive Nielsen performance no doubt boosted by Marie Osmond's terrifying dramatization of a demon-possessed doll trying to murder her unsuspecting playmate. [THR]
· Mark Ruffalo is invited to the Leonardo DiCaprio/Martin Scorcese reteaming party Shutter Island. [THR]