In today's installment: Lindsay Lohan (twice!), Katherine Heigl, Al Pacino, Adrian Grenier, Nicole Richie, Casey Affleck, Elijah Wood (with Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly), Eric Stoltz, Mario Lopez, Bryce Dallas Howard, Samantha Ronson, Larry King, Audina Patridge, Tommy Lee and Ludacris, Bradley Cooper, Clea Duvall, Ian Ziering and Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons.

FRIDAY, MAY 9
· Friday night I make a quick run into Toast for one of their yummy cupcakes. While I'm waiting, I look over and see uber hottie Bradley Cooper laying back on the couch. Sporting that sexy scruff and a shirt unbuttoned enough to get a shot of his nice chest. My gay porn fantasy come true! Oh...he was with some unrecognizable chick.
· Saw Casey Affleck, Summer Phoenix and two young kids dining with Clea Duvall, an unknown male and another small kid at Mexico City in Los Feliz. Nobody seemed to pay much attention but I was transfixed. Summer Phoenix sat facing the whole restaurant holding a small child. Her eyes are huge and she is a people watcher. Casey was very quiet and paid attention only to his small, hyper son.
· Lindsay Lohan walking into the Vista Theater in Silver Lake at 12 noon for a video shoot for the Make A Wish Foundation. The papanazis were right behind in minivans and SUV's, peeling into an alley one after the other like NASCAR drivers on meth (or Danica Patrick on a pit stop.) Hard to say who's more dangerous behind the wheel, Lindsay or these duds. I mean, dudes. No I don't.

SATURDAY, MAY 10
· At the Southern California Renaissance Faire I saw Tommy Lee and Ludacris filming an episode for their show Battleground Earth. They were supposedly learning how to make paper. Both were wearing extravagantly feathered 3 Musketeers hats.
· I saw Lindsay Lohan with Sam Ronson at the Beachwood Market; they were shopping for a lot of groceries (including toilet paper, cause everyone shits), but NO BOOZE.
· Al Pacino shops at Target (at the mall in Hollywood). Saw him in the toy section with some little kid (son? grandson?). He was in that all in black, oversized blazer, baggy pants look, and my girlfriend thought he was Richard Lewis.
· Katherine Heigl exits the Say Cheese in Silverlake at Hyperion and Monon and the paparazzi swarm around her making a huge scene. Katherine looks great and handles it well but it looks annoying as F**k. These paparazzi look like total scum and K.H. is soooo boooooring anyway. The whole situation is bizarre but for some reason people like seeing people in movies walk in and out of stores.
· After suffering through the stank of dog urine at Runyon Canyon, my friends and I are blinded by the site of some chick with ginormous boobs. They were so distracting that we almost missed that she was with none other than Steve Sanders himself - Ian Ziering.
· I have never felt uglier sending a sighting in than i do right now. Saturday evening @ the gelson's in calabasas, I saw Jeffrey Tambor buying a travel-sized saline solution and a single fleet enema. Hey now!

TUESDAY, MAY 13
· I saw Diedrich Bader and Jamie Kennedy at Mozza. Damn, that place is tasty.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14
· I spotted hobbits Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan (with girlfriend Evangeline Lilly in tow) checking out singer/songwriter Matt Miller's set at King's Road Cafe. Unfortunately, there was no cover of Leonard Nimoy's 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins', but that would've been amazing.

THURSDAY, MAY 15
· Rode the elevator with Beyonce and her security guy at Jay-Z's Roc The Mic Studios on 27th street about 5 mins ago. Very pretty -not noticeably pregnant. Also, the asshole security guard blocked her off from just me like she was royalty.

SUNDAY, MAY 18
· The opening of Two Unrelated Plays by David Mamet at the Kirk Douglas was the place to be for random celeb (ok, generous) sightings on a Sunday afternoon. Felicity Huffman, Eric Stoltz, Tate Donovan, Joe Mantegna, Kate Burton, Julianne Phillips, and Ricky Jay were all present and accounted for.
· Bryce Dallas Howard with baby and a companion (not sure if it was husband Seth Gabel or not, but I'm kicking myself for not paying attention to a potential Jeremy Darling sighting!) leaving Whole Foods at Fairfax & Santa Monica.

MONDAY, MAY 19
· Mario Lopez at T-Mobile Store at One Embarcadero Center in San Francisco. With a mustachioed handler. Tight green shirt (showed off the guns), woven leather belt and jeans. Didn't really believe it was him until one of the (male) cashiers asked him for a cell phone photo, which he gave graciously. As soon as he left the store, all three male cashiers huddled over the cell phone photo and discussed Saved By The Bell episodes.
· Mickey Gubitosi AKA Robert Blake at the Pinkberry looking happy, healthy and enjoying the goodness that is Crackberry. Looks like he has been hitting the gym. It's nice to him happy again. [Ed Note — Um, we guess?]

TUESDAY, MAY 20
· Saw the ESPN Sports Guy (Bill Simmons) eating a fancy lunch at Campanile with the Sports Gal (wife), kid, and what looked like either his or his wife's mom (5/20). This sighting probably means nothing to 90% of Defamer readers but for us heterosexual males in our 30s it's a big deal.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21
· Saw Adrian Grenier at the El Rey at the sold-out Kills show. His appearance in the crowd triggered several conversations around me that went exactly like this: "Do you watch Entourage?" "Eeeeeehhhhhhhhyeeeeah, well, I used to...then I totally got sick of it."

THURSDAY, MAY 22
· Saw Nicole Richie at Katsu-Ya in Studio City. She was teeny tiny, wearing a dirty white hoodie (that was too big) with leggings and had her hood up most of the time. Sorry Nicole, there's no mistaking that mug! She waited for a long time for a table and finally settled down at the sushi bar. She was with a nondescript female and was not approached by anyone. She was a bit boring, but my friends visiting from New York got the celeb sighting they were hoping for!
· Thurs. 5/22. Saw Paula Poundstone at the Coffee Bean in the lobby of the CAA building asking the barista if he wanted an extra ticket to an LA Sparks game.

FRIDAY, MAY 23
· Wee little Christian Siriano spotted in West Hollywood last night- giving out hugs to fans on San Vicente and Santa Monica, wearing a black beanie, black trench coat, black skinny jeans and silver reflective high top sneakers (possibly Nikes?). Fierce!
· Was walking out of Indy 4 at the Arclight Hollywood and saw Jacinda Barrett having a chat with 2 guys. White long sleeve shirt under a black short sleeve one and super skinny jeans. So skinny in fact I almost bought her a pesto sausage from the snack bar.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
· Saw Audina Patridge around 6:30PM at the Happy Nail salon at West Hollywood Gateway center. The salon madame was clearly impressed with her walk-in client, who arrived with a friend girl. Since I was with my only friend who gives a shit about The Hills, Defamer has the privilege of being my "OMG, guess who I just saw" email.

SUNDAY, MAY 25
· Oh. My. God. F-List reality night at Barney's Beanery (WeHo branch on Santa Monica Blvd.) on Sunday night for karaoke. First of all, some dude is singing Kiss by Prince and surprisingly hitting all the notes, and it turns out to be that black trainer with the dreads from Work Out on Bravo. Not a bad singer! THEN. I am talking to a group of people who include these two tall identical blond dudes. Today whilst trolling the blogs I see one of them in the teaser for the new VH1 show I Love Money, and I realize that he was Mr. Boston from I Love New York. He has an identical twin. They are both kind of dorky and awkward.
· Wandering in and out between the parked cars in the 700 block of Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills Sunday morning: Larry King. Note to Larry — those speeding metal chariots will hurt you. Use your phone on the sidewalk.

In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!

SUNDAY, APRIL 20
· Saw Jay Leno getting out of his ride at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach before his weekly appearance there every Sunday evening. Practically side-swiped the driver next to me while gawking at Jay's car. Didn't get the make and model but I can confirm that it looked very silver, very fast and very expensive.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25
· Spotted Marlee Matlin and her Dancing With the Stars partner (?) at the valet at Forever 21. Can't figure why they were there together as I heard they were voted off the show earlier in the week. Don't ask how I know that. Anyway, she is tiny and he..... not so tall. She drove them away in a huge gas quaffing SUV.
· Yesterday saw John Ennis (Mr. Show and Walk Hard) at the Nature Mart in Los Feliz.
· Saw Perry from Make Me A Supermodel at Vons at Sunset/Virgil @ 7pm. Tall, thin, wearing a wifebeater and looking FINE. With some dressed down chick, not sure if it was his gf. She manned the cart of course, Perry was too busy struttin'.
· I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter (and wife) 4am Friday at LAX. Dog was wearing an American Flag windbreaker.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26
· I had dinner at El Compadre tonight, where I waited for our table next to Ms. Jay from ANTM. Then, I went with some friends to the Sly & the Family Stone concert at the House of Blues. We found a good spot near the stage, and I turned around to see Daryl Hannah. She was with a younger couple, and really beautiful - laid back - in person. She was sporting a Marvin Gaye T-shirt and a belt made out of the pop-tops from soda cans...
· First, on Continental #65 from Newark to LAX on Saturday, Cheryl Hines was in first class. Very hot and very tiny in person, also very polite and low-key. She even walked to the parking garage with the car service driver from baggage claim.
· Was hanging out at my favorite Saturday night spot, Britannia Pub in Santa Monica, for karaoke (technically, Starraoke™) when we got word that none other than our childhood hero, Davy Jones, was at a table in the back. (Attention youngsters, I'm talking about the singer from The Monkees, not the character from Pirates of the Caribbean.) A quick trip to the ladies' room confirmed it, so one of my friends signed up for "Daydream Believer" in his honor. No more than a bar of music went by when Davy came bounding up from the back room, grabbed my friend and the mike and proceeded to perform the whole song with her, with the whole bar singing along (when they weren't snapping pics with their cameraphones). Mark it down as one of my favorite LA moments so far.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27
· Then, Sunday afternoon at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, bumped into Casey Affleck quickly making his way out of the crowd of hipsters. A couple hours later, saw Jonathan Togo (CSI Miami) at the WeHo Whole Foods, also moving through the store very quickly.
· While attending the Indian Film festival at the Arclight, I sat about three seats away from Nancy Kwan, who only looked about ten years older then she did in The World of Suzy Wong. On the way home I saw Robert Culp (I Spy) buying bananas. He's ambulatory and buying produce on his own at 10pm on a Sunday, which is pretty good for pushing 80.

MONDAY, APRIL 28
· Last night after the She & Him show (awesome!) at the Vista — Adam Brody having Amstel Lights at the Good Luck Bar, with a mystery blond that kinda looked like Arielle Kebbel, but I don't think it was her and shouldn't start rumors... or did I just do that?

TUESDAY, APRIL 29
· I spotted Chris O'Donnell by a Delta baggagae carousel at LAX. Navy blazer/jeans. Very preppy. Flew in from Atlanta. Such potential that one...
· Today was the highlight of my week, no make that my month. Saw Kiefer on Ventura Blvd/Balboa coming out of CHILI MY SOUL. He was clearly in great mood. He posed for pics with a couple of heavy set gals...one even got him to say damm it in to her cell phone. The Kiefer looked awesome, very skinny! Tennis shoes, jeans and blue t-shirt. He left with a pretty brunette who was dressed in of all things blue scrubs. DAMM IT my cell was in the car!
· I went to the Fox Hills Mall in Culver City yesterday for lunch and was blocked from using the newly reopened escalator by JC Penny by a PA with a serious God complex. The escalator was only for actors who were shooting on location. Well, it turns out the actors were Steve Agee (from The Sarah Silverman Program) and Adam Carolla. Carolla was sporting a huge fake Amish beard, Agee looked exactly the same as he does on Sarah Silverman.

THURSDAY, MAY 1
· Was having dinner at Mi Piace in Pasadena on Thursday evening when the crowd parted and I beheld Jerry Springer. How's that for a weird one? He sat with his back to the window on Colorado and ate alone quite peacefully. No chairs were thrown.

FRIDAY, MAY 2
· Near-fatal Goldie Hawn sighting. Driving up to my cousin's place in Pacific Palisades, saw a large group of seeming-hippies communing in the middle of the street. One of them appeared to be holding a baby up in the air, sort of bizarrely baptismal. Get closer, baby-holder is Goldie, hot son Oliver Hudson is next to her, and I think the baby in question is Oliver's. As I drive by, Goldie gives me a big smile and waves hello.

SATURDAY, MAY 3
· Saturday night I saw Romany Malco (Weeds / Baby Mama) with a cute lady friend playing cards at Stir Crazy coffee shop on Melrose.
· In front of Larchmont Wine & Cheese, I spotted a squat Scott Caan — first spotted because he was wearing that hat — was sitting with his dog and a group of dudes that looked as you would expect a bunch of dudes eating with Scott Caan to look. as it goes with these kinds of things, he was shorter than expected.


Later on in the afternoon, was driving down melrose when I see a family crossing the street, complete with an olderish blonde with oversized breasts. My first thought was, "her husband must be a real d-bag." I scan the rest of the family until I see Dee Snider. I immediately feel bad for assuming he would be a d-bag [Ed. Note - Why? I think you hit the nail on the head.] and continue driving, hoping he hadn't heard my inner monologue.

· While trying to see Iron Man at Century City, I see Titan from American Gladiators, who stands about 7 feet tall (plastic coif included) and 3 feet wide.
· During another interminable wait for food at the Griddle Cafe, i see Jim Parsons from the CBS show Big Bang Theory. He had to wait for a table, just like the rest of us civilians, unlike...
Jessica Alba, who walks right in and sits at a booth. Didn't see her body but her face definitely looks fuller. Still looked good. Cash Warren walked in a little later and was appropriately unassuming.

SUNDAY, MAY 4
· Dorito Girl Ali Landry at the Alcove on Hillhurst for a late lunch. With her cute Mexican director husband and adorable baby girl. She's amazingly gorgeous in person, throwing Doritos into washers or whatever it was she did in those commercials did not do her justice.
· Traci Lords at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market this morning, with a friend and adorable baby. Looked very happy and healthy. I had to suppress the urge to say hello and tell her how awesome I think she is.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7
· Walked by Adam Goldberg on Little Santa Monica on Wednesday around lunch time. He was by himself waiting to cross the street. I always thought he was maybe cute but didn't get confirmation until I was standing
right next to him. He was looking cuddle worthy in a black hoody, dark jeans and cool espadrille type Vans.
· I saw Clea Duvall and Zach Quinto at Brently Heilbron's show at Tangier tonight.

THURSDAY, MAY 8
· Spotted a couple celebs in Beverly Hills on Thursday afternoon. Kathy Hilton and not surprisingly
very happy looking Stan Lee were strolling past Jack 'n Jill's. Don't worry, they were not together.

As Letterman's clip gruesomely shows, Rinna not only goofed by congratulating Adams on her Oscar nomination this year (c'mon, even our aunt in Sacramento with no cable knows who was nominated!), but also had no recollection of Amy's nom two years ago for her role in Junebug. Which delightfully reminds us of one of our favorite Defamer clips so far this year, in which Rinna and her shoved-together silicone enhancements cackled along with Casey Affleck on the SAGs carpet. From asking him a very important question regarding what kind of gum he was chewing, to forming her "questions" in the style of "So, I just watched two of your movies, which one do ya think I watched first?", we're left with a teary revolutionary need to form a petition to get Joan back on the air, stat.

• THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [Official Site]

· Following through on its threats to abandon the traditional TV development system, NBC picks up Kath & Kim* straight to series with a six episode order, bypassing the wasteful, "let's see if this actually works when we try and shoot it" pilot phase. (*In fairness, this is a Pre-Proven Foreign Hit, so domestic success is virtually guaranteed.) [Variety]
· Brittany Murphy CareerWatch: the actress signs on for the indie Across the Hall, and is considering a chance to replace thrice-rehabbed insurance nightmare Lindsay Lohan in the troubled Poor Things. [THR]
· Casey Affleck is cast in the yet-to-be-scripted adaptation of Tom Epperson's period noir drama The Kind One, in which he'll play the most adorable (pinch his cheeks! Jump on his face!) amnesiac who makes the mistake of falling in love with a sadistic killer's girlfriend Hollywood has ever seen. [Variety]

Vigorously gnawing on a wad of gum as if it were the only thing preventing him from being sucked into a duck-lipped wormhole and spit out into the black void of Rinna's soul, Affleck only offers the brusquest responses to the TV Guide Channel correspondent's run-on questions. The result is a scene of red carpet carnage so grotesque, traumatized producers were forced to miniaturize the image and shuffle it off to the side, filling the screen instead with the relatively comforting pictures of the first human-hued celebrity they could train their cameras on.

• tvguide.com