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falafel diplomacy
Bruno Wondering How And Why A Delicious Chickpea Spread Would Call For The Annihilation Of Israel
Can't wait until May 15, 2009 to learn what Sacha Baron Cohen has cooked up for Bruno, only the latest swarthy foreigner from the comedian's repertoire to star in a feature-length film? The internet is teeming with sightings detailing the fictional Austrian TV personality's exploiten and vëreabouts. Some you may have spotted in our very own PrivacyWatch; but the latest comes to us via The Jewish Daily Forward, where recent dupee Yossi Alpher—an Israeli political blogger—describes his run in with Eurofashion greatness in Jerusalem:
They took us down winding stone stairs and through long corridors, ostensibly to have some make-up dabbed on our noses for the cameras, in fact to meet the interviewer and test his disguise. We confronted a tall, blond-ish man in his thirties, dressed in leather and studs, his face heavily powdered, his arms and chest shaven. He spoke in a heavy German accent, his movements and mannerisms ultra-gay. He tried to write down our names, but they came out dyslexic.More »
Blockbuster Train To Auschwitz
'Bruno', Universal's $42 Mil Gay-Austrian Gamble, Gets His Release Date
We now know when to expect an answer to the "Bruno: Borat-level triumph or $42 million Universal folly?" question eating at Hollywood since first learning that the studio had shelled out that unconscionable sum for a feature-length prankumentary starring the heterosexually-threatening Sacha Baron Cohen character. From Variety:
More »Universal will release the film on May 15, 2009. So far, there are no other R-rated comedies near that date.
lists
Top Five Most Cringeworthy Facial Hair Moments In Cinematic History
We didn’t think it was possible, but the insanely dateable John Krasinski is not looking so hot these days. Due to an upcoming role in the Sam Mendes-directed Farlanders, John is sporting a nasty beard that resembles something one of the Geico cavemen would wear. And while we’d never judge an actor for tossing out their razors for months for the sake of their craft, this terrible beard inspired us to take a look back at the most cringeworthy facial hair in cinematic history. From one actor’s frizzy salt-and-pepper rat's nest to one mustache’s journey inside another man’s taint, our top five lie after the jump: More »
Remember Stonie, the gay porn star whose jail-baity looks were capitalized upon by the makers of Borat, casting him as the Kazakh journeyman's naked teenage son in a series of sexually suggestive Polaroids? No? Then the fact that he just got a sex change (but will continue to pursue a career in the adult entertainment field) will probably do nothing for you. Still, makers of Bruno: 
sacha baron cohens junk
Book: Sacha Baron Cohen Rendered Involuntarily Aroused By Ken Davitian's Fetid Taint
Sometimes—particularly when we find ourselves creating topic tags like "Sacha Baron Cohen's Junk"—we are prone to having minor lightbulb moments, such as the one just moments ago in which it suddenly occurred to us that the Sweeney Todd star might be inordinately preoccupied with his own manhood. It having already been revealed that it was his idea to outfit his Adolfo Pirelli character with certain below-the-belt costuming enhancements, the NY Daily News delves even deeper into the British comedian's priapic self-fascination, discovering, among other Cohen-bone bits, the reason behind that strategically placed black bar in the Borat movie's climactic naked wrestling scene:
More »
moving on
Sacha Baron Cohen Mourns The Death Of Borat
During a rare interview in which chameleonic prankster Sacha Baron Cohen answered questions without retreating into one of his ego-protecting characters (apparently, the marketing team for Sweeney Todd felt that conducting junket appearances as singing, enormously beschlonged barber Adolfo Pirelli wasn't the way to go for their film), Cohen confirmed that he has no choice but to kill off both Ali G and Borat, the alter-egos he used to torment scores of clueless politicians, intolerant frat boys and litigious driving instructors. Laments Cohen about the old friends he now must sacrifice upon the altar of success:
"When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing," he said.More »
celeb jurisprudence
A Year Later, The 'Borat' Lawsuits Just Keeping Coming
Some 13 months after the theatrical release of Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen's mockumentary about an intellectually curious Kazakh journalist's travels across the U.S. and A to engage in cultural exchanges with as many litigious Americans as possible, one might think that any of comedian's on-camera victims who hadn't already filed lawsuits had grudgingly accepted their cinematic notoriety. Amazingly, legal papers are still being filed, with the latest coming from the driving instructor tasked with teaching the foreigner how to operate a non-mule-powered vehicle:
Michael Psenicska was duped into participating in the film after it was described to him as a "documentary about the integration of foreign people into the American way of life," he said in a lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court.More »
short ends
Another Martha Stewart Overshare
· In yet another one of those uncomfortable Martha Stewart Show moments that keep us coming back over and over again, the host describes her mother's recent stroke in such alarming detail that we now know not only the name of the hospital in which she's recovering, but the exact floor her room is on.
· Borat's book-signing featured filthy children, vanilla faces, and, of course, the requisite dude in a neon nut-sling.
· Grey's Anatomy McPicketing! How did we miss that opportunity yesterday? Maybe we were distracted by the weiners.
· J. Lo knocked up, officially. We know her refusal to disclose the contents of her uterus had really been eating at you.
Despite extensive naked-fighting practice on the set of Eastern Promises, a humble Viggo Mortensen doesn't think he could defeat Borat in a clothes-free fight—if the wiry Kazakh could survive the anal-suffocation attacks of frightently hirsute grappling partner Ken Davitian, what hope does Mortensen have of victory against an obviously invincible opponent? [MTV.com]
mutually supportive filmmakers! is nice!
When Michael Met Sacha
What, you may or may not find yourselves wondering, could agitprop documentary director Michael Moore possibly have in common with guerrilla-comedy king Sacha Baron Cohen? Quite a bit, it just so happens, as a chance encounter at last year's Toronto International Film Festival led to a mutual gush-a-thon between the two mischief-making filmmakers: More »
all he wanted was a hug dept
New Yorker Finally Stops Running From Borat Long Enough To File Lawsuit Against Fox
For those of you who prefer to live in the recent past, peering wistfully over your shoulders at the halcyon days when a neon-bethonged Kazakh reporter delighted audiences with his naïve take on sister-pimping and fist-shaped dildo usage, we bring to you news of yet more Borat-related litigiousness. No, not even the movie's Fleeing, Freaked-Out New York City Guy was able to find the humor in his brief but memorable cameo, as his somewhat late-to-the-party lawsuit outlines. Reports The Smoking Gun: More »
agents
'Bruno' Agency Shocker: Did Endeavor Do Some Shady Things To Generate A Big, Fat Commission?
If your memory extends all the way back to last October, you may recall a little multistudio bidding war that resulted in Universal shelling out $42.5 million for the rights to Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno, a shocking price considering that at the time, there was at a fair amount of pants-soiling going on about some potentially scary tracking data for Borat, which was yet to prove that naked wrestling and the throwing of wadded up bills at bed-and-breakfast operating roach-Jews would be embraced on a worldwide basis. So how did Baron's people pull off such a great deal in the pre-Kazakhmania era? Slate's Kim Masters reports on speculation that Endeavor is running a puppet regime whose sole mission is to screw the studios while enriching its clients (yeah, that sounds exactly like an "agency," but stick with it): More »
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Another Memo To Tom Cruise
· Var chief Peter Bart pens yet another memo to Tom Cruise, this time encouraging his successor at United Artists to ignore the skepticism of the press, take a big swig of some Oprah-endorsed positivity Kool-Aid, and realize that he's not the only one in this town trying to figure out how to run a studio. [Variety]· Spunky test-pattern alternative MyNetworkTV will kick of a new schedule on Monday, shifting its focus from cheaply produced telenovelas that no one wants to watch to low-cost reality programming audiences will be eager to ignore. [THR]
· Clint Eastwood may direct and Angelina Jolie is in talks to star in The Changeling for Universal, the story of a woman who suspects that the abducted son that's eventually returned to her is not actually her child—material that the actress instantly connected with because of a paranoid fear she's been harboring that careless partner Brad Pitt lost Maddox at a Ralphs a year ago and has been trying to pass off another Cambodian orphan as their beloved tyke ever since. Imagine's Brian Grazer is also on board to superproduce the shit out of this one. [Variety]
· ABC elevates Ellen Pompeo to $200,000 per episode, while Grey's Anatomy co-stars James T. Pickens Jr, Chandra Wilson, Justin Chambers, and TR Knight are expected to get raises to $125k. No word on whether Isaiah Washington's successful completion of gayhab will earn him a similar reward, but should he be passed over on this round of renegotiations, he plans to recoup some of the withheld salary bump by stealing Knight's lunch money each day. [THR]
· USA pays $11 million for the rights to air Borat for five years starting in 2009, a relatively low sum due to the fact that the network will be forced to pixelate Ken Davitian's hairy, suffocating anus during the movie's iconic wrestling scene. [Variety]
borat
White House Fingers Borat As Victim Of International Human Rights Abuses In Annual Report
The State Department released their annual global human rights abuses report yesterday, and, somewhat astonishingly, everyone's favorite faux-Kazakh cultural ambassador makes a surprise appearance in a chapter devoted to Kazakhstan's offenses:More »
borat
Ken Davitian Corners Short, Swarthy Sidekick Roles With 'Get Smart'
Since his full-frontal breakout performance playing roving Kazakh cultural ambassador Borat Sagdiyev's long-suffering producer Azamat Bagatov in the Borat movie, self-described "day player" Ken Davitian has now officially graduated from "get me a fat Armenian-looking dude" Central Casting parts to becoming a bankable, sought-after talent in his own right. Davitian has just signed on to play the evil sidekick in the Get Smart movie: More »
borat
'Borat' DVD Packaging Completes The D.I.Y. Kazakh Filmmaking Illusion
For the millions of you patiently awaiting the DVD release of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, either in anticipation of adding the film to your home video library, or merely to see if your slavery-endorsing and/or urinal-peek-a-boo scene might have by some miracle been excised from the final version despite a judge having ruled otherwise, March 6 will be the magic date to circle upon your calendars. The matter of how much, meanwhile, is looking to be a very nice suggested retail price of $19.95. Slashfilm.com has seen an advance copy, which is purposely designed to look as though you may have bartered for it from a toothless Kazakh street urchin for a bottle of goat urine: "[There's] not a word of English on the packaging...[It looks] color-copied...complete with off color tones, slightly blurred company logos, blurry text and moire pattern/lithographic scans." Whether the "HILARIOUS DeeVeeDee EXTRAS" touted on Borat's official website will maintain the illusion remains to be seen, though we're indifferent as to whether or not Ken Davitian's commentary track comes from him or in character as producer Azamat Bagatov—as long as we get some kind of insight into just how stimulating Sacha Baron Cohen's proboscis felt when he lowered his feculent taint upon it. More »
celeb jurisprudence
