Defamer: Big Brother

'Big Brother' Contestant April Loses The Game But Gains A Varsity Ring

Seth — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:20:00 PDT

We love nothing more than a fairy tale ending, and we got one on last night's Big Brother, when—amidst the tragedy of contestant April's ejection from their 24-hour surveillance Eden— surviving housemate and oral-sex-partner Ollie proposed..um...popping his relationship cherry? Prodded by host Julie Chen, who had already been given a fat dossier on the pair's budding romance which included a number of X-ray stills from their quilt-covered shenanigans, Ollie extolled the many virtues of the Arizona auto-financing manager, then announced, "I got a question for you: Will you be my first girlfriend? I want an answer from you the second I get out of this house." CBS would be fools not to capitalize on the event, mounting a lavish Ollie and April's Going Steady Ceremony primetime special upon which no expense would be spared.

Big Brother 10 [CBS]

Big Brother's Great Grandpa Will Mess You Up, Son

Seth — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:20:00 PDT

· And now for some non-earthquake-related Big Brother rumbles: In one corner, we have 75-year-old contestant (and the oldest person on CBS since Murder, She Wrote), Jerry. In the other, we have professional "mixologist" Memphis, precisely one-third Jerry's age. We won't tell you how it plays out, except to say so long as you're glimpsing three-quarters-of-a-century-old armpit, Jerry's winning. [Big Brother]
· A fourth Austin Powers is reportedly being written by Mike Myers. It's a "very personal [take] with a father and son theme loosely based on his own life," meaning it's sure to feature a scene in which the old Mini Me is tossed around in the backyard. [Deadline Hollywood]
· In honor of Discovery Channel's Shark Week, a chat with a Great White. [edithzimmerman.com]
· Hitting every stop on the Interactive Ben Kingsley Accent Map would wear out even the sturdiest Amazing Race contestants. [bestweekever.tv]
· Hey—bear running around a track in high heels! [Jezebel]

'Big Brother' Houseguests Bravely Battle Earthquake with Torrent of 'Omigawds,' Stripping

Kyle Buchanan — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:40:00 PDT

Following a 5.4 earthquake that dealt most of its damage to people's Facebook status updates ("Jim is: EARTHQUAKE!"), it was only natural to wonder how the tremor might have affected the city's old, its infirm, and its Big Brother 10 residents. Fortunately, the Hollywood Reporter can help us out on at least one of those fronts: its video update reveals that the Big Brother houseguests bypassed the "Is that a truck? Oh, wait..." stage experienced by most Los Angelenos, instead rushing out into the backyard to doff their clothes and trade "Omigawds." Video after the jump.

Even the brave souls at E!'s Sunset Tan were not immune to the quake, though they faced it with their clothes already off:

“Sunset Tan” sales rep and cast member Holly Huddleston was stuck in a tanning booth when things started to vibrate during an FHM photo shoot promoting the E! series.

“I was in nothing but a bra and panties and wearing these high heels when everything started shaking,” Huddleston said. “I kind of stopped and looked around to see if it was just me, if I was the one shaking or if I was just positioned funny.

Satisfied that the shaking was due to natural causes and not a few too many Stoli/Red Bulls, Huddleston went back to work, bravely illustrating the (paraphrased) axiom that "a woman can do any earthquake a man can, she just has to do it backwards, in high heels, while a photographer grouses, 'Can someone keep those nipples iced up?'"

Reality TV stars react to the Los Angeles quake [Los Angeles Times]
Video: Earthquake Hits The Big Brother House [THR]

Four-Legged 'Big Brother' BJ Monster Spotted In Broad Daylight!

Seth — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:02:08 PDT

· When did they let this moaning, twitching, four-legged freak-creature (two white legs, two black with socks on) into the Big Brother 10 house? Look away! It's positively monstrous! [Arguably NSFW.] [B-Side Blog]
· Ben Silverman told TCA today that the Amy Poehler is actually starring in a completely separate project from that Office spinoff. In other Poehler news, Lorne Michaels said that her departure from SNL will be a "big loss." (Rifling around frantically for our Kristen Wiig doll...There you are. Hugggies.) [THR, LAT]
· Patrick Swayze looking surprisingly hunky for someone with inoperable pancreatic cancer. Go get 'em, Bodhi! [Daily Mail]
· The poster for Alan Ball's True Blood makes us quiver with antici. (Count to three.) Pation. [Slashfilm via AICN]
· Remember that time you were thinking to yourself, "If only I had a visual dictionary of a wide variety of baby animals." Well, today is your lucky day. Even Four-Legged BJ Monsters are cute when they're babies! [Baby Animal Alphabet]

Carolyn Strauss Calved At HBO

Seth — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 12:20:24 PDT

· HBO shakes things up in their original series development department, moving longtime president Carolyn Strauss into a new, not-quite-fired-but-let's- see-what-some-new-blood- can-do-about- never-letting- John From Cincinnati -happen-again position. [Variety]
· Hollywood StrikeWatch 2: The Bickering. SAG and AFTRA can't seem to decide whether basic cable should be included in the upcoming actors negotiation, leading to a flurry of strongly worded letters and "near-constant sniping" between the two unions, who'll ultimately air out their differences in a choreographed rumble in the Farmers Market parking lot, set to the music of Leonard Bernstein. [Variety]
· Marvel Studios has sold the exclusive broadcast rights to FX for a package of five of their movies, including the upcoming Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, along with three more, yet-to-be-determined titles. (We're pulling for a She-Hulk Vs. She-Thing, starring Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton.) [Variety]

· Foreigners aren't picky. They love 10,000 B.C.! [Variety]
· Big Brother is sent back to the summer TV gulag, after a freakish, strike-necessitated winter edition, which never quite caught on with the show's easily confused, seasonally dependent viewership. [THR]
· Ken Davitian has been cast in Fox's Bernie Mac sitcom Starting Under, where audiences will do everything they can to wipe away the image of his flabby, fur-covered ass cheeks squeezing the last gasps of air from Sacha Baron Cohen's heaving lungs. [THR]

Do They Keep The Editors Of 'Big Brother' Trapped In That House, Too?

Mark Graham — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:37:24 PDT

The second installment of our newish feature, Scrambled Eggs, comes to us courtesy of an eagle-eyed friend of Defamer, People Paula. But before we get into the contents of the clip at hand, we'll give you a quick refresher on what exactly makes a Scrambled Egg. It's a term we invented to describe those glorious moments that happen in television shows when a bored (or possibly stoned) editor cuts an inexplicable and altogetherly out-of-context image into a scene, likely as an inside joke for themselves. Got it? Good.

Now that your memory has been rebooted, we are glad to present this Scrambled Egg from Wednesday night's episode of Big Brother. As the Chenbot attempts to engage the castmembers of the 412th season of the show in some casual conversation while they dangle from some sort of unusual swinging device (forgive us, we haven't followed the show since the days of Dr. Will and Mike Boogie), the show's sleep-deprived editors make what can only be described as an unusual choice for a cutaway shot.

The best part? This isn't the first time that this has happened in the show. Apparently, The Big Brother Technical Difficulties Guinea Pig™ made a previous appearance on the show sometime last week. Keep your eyes peeled, he just might pop out again soon!

Feeling left out? There's no reason to, silly! As always, we invite you to play along at home; if you spot a Scrambled Egg that you'd like us to feature, please send an email our way and we'll credit you here on the site. So, with that in mind, please enjoy our second installment.

There Is No Nighttime Sex Act That Escapes The All-B.J.-Seeing 'Big Brother' Eye

Seth — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 11:46:54 PST

With the fumigation circus tent removed from the Big Brother house on the Radford lot, every stubborn germ, virus, and parasite from the last batch of contestants effectively snuffed, we're now ready for another round of the hit CBS reality series. And while there was certainly nothing broke with the show's last incarnation—who doesn't love watching 16 off-duty bartenders stand around a kitchen island sharing Jew-spotting tips?—they've tweaked Season 9 considerably. Big Brother: 'Til Death Do You Part pits eight teams of two against one another: all couples. And by that we mean, sex-having couples.

This, of course, led the show's night-vision cameras to capture some not-exactly-family-viewing activities, available to pervy all-access premium subscribers. (Video above, possibly NSFW.) Upon subsequent viewings, we're stricken by how team Matt and Natalie's bobbing-comforter exploits are rendered even hotter by the snoring accompaniment of an unseen housemate. (Seriously, Julie Chen. Sometimes we have no idea how you preside over all this tawdriness. Do you kiss Les with that mouth?)

Big Brother 9 [CSBS]

Mike 'Boogie' Malin Fails To Fly After Tumbling Through Les Deux Skylight

Seth — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:00:22 PST

To the casual onlooker, Mike "Boogie" Malin leads an existence worth coveting: a self-made nightlife entrepreneur with first pick of the aspiring-starlet veal, Malin is perhaps most famous for quarantining himself on national TV and walking away from the experience $1 million richer. But there's an ugly underside to life in the Hollywood fast lane, strewn with suspicious growths, nights in Denver jail, partners accused of rape, and now, courtesy of Eater LA, this:

"Rumor has it that Mike "Boogie" Malin (partner of the dolce group and winner of big brother 7) fell thru the skylight last Friday night at Les Deux and was rushed to the hospital."

There was something about hanging out with Jennifer Capriati (the tennis player) after a Van Halen concert in the VIP room at Les Deux, which has access to the roof. Apparently, according to Dolce PR (who's had quite the workout this week, to say the least), Malin decided he had to adjust some Christmas decorations on the roof, misstepped and slipped through the skylight that overlooks the nightclub. Capriati pulled him out, he's fine, but a little sore.

A few inches to the left and this misstep could have wound up far more tragic, taking not only Malin, but a U.S. Open comeback queen with a lightly checkered past who failed to move aside before being crushed beneath him. From now on, Malin will hopefully resist the obsessive-compulsive urge to constantly straighten the festive Les Deux sign reading: "Santa's Lap, That Way (Naughty Girls Only)," accompanied by a flashing arrow pointing to the manager's office.

More Les Deux Antics: Mike Malin Falls From Roof [Eater LA]

Mike 'Boogie' Malin Celebrates Boston's World Series Victory In A Denver Jail Cell

Seth — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 13:45:57 PDT

It seems The Dolce Group restaurant impresario and Big Brother All-Stars $1 million-winner Mike Malin, whom last we checked in with for his weekly penile-wart singeing, wound up in a Denver jail cell after allegedly demonstrating a little too much enthusiasm over the Boston Red Sox's recent World Series victory. Eater LA has the scoop:

We're tipped off that Mike Malin spent 15 hours in a jail cell following Game 4 of the World Series "for allegedly assaulting a waitress at a local sports bar."

We have no idea what kind of assault, but Dolce Group PR tells us, "Malin is working with his legal team to properly handle the misunderstanding and the charges."

While the details of this "misunderstanding" remain sketchy, we'd put nothing past Malin's well-documented party-animal ways; certainly, calling over a cocktail waitress for a round of Irish Car Bombs—only to have the server come face-to-face with a patron chanting "We're #1! We're #1!," naked save for his swaying, semi-alert member sheathed in a red wool sock—would be the kind of characteristic behavior that might find the local entrepreneur sobering up on the cold metal bench of a Denver jail cell.

Dolce Owner Celebrates Red Sox Win in Denver Jail [Eater LA]

Amber Reminds Us Not To Hate The Jew, Just Hate The Jewish Player

Seth — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:00:55 PDT

As much as we hoped it might happen, we never really anticipated Big Brother 8 breakout anti-Semite/anti-Manhattanite Amber Siyavus would be subjected to a montage of her greatest hate-mongering hits on Tuesday night's finale. Still, we assumed reporters would have jumped on the opportunity to get her to further clarify her theories about the "money-hungry" peoples, easily identifiable by their noses, surnames, and love of the Mets. Only Reality News Online, however, was successful in getting Siyavus to address her Gibsonian sentiments:

RNO: Is there anything else you want to tell us about your time in the Big Brother house? [...]

Amber: I made a comment when I was upset with Eric — I made it about Jewish people and people from New York. I just want to tell the people I offended that I am very sorry. I did not mean to offend anybody and I was upset with Eric at the time. Being upset, people tend to say things they don't mean.
That came from a really bad place, and from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry — I send my apologies to anyone I offended. I don't like to hurt people's feelings. The words just came out and I was upset with Eric. I have friends that are Jewish and friends from New York. I am not prejudiced and I am truly truly truly sorry.

As public apologies for temporary attacks of involuntary bigotry go, Amber's seems as heartfelt as they come: We suspect her best Jewish and New York-based friends would readily back up her claims that her hurtful words were merely spoken in retaliation to the backstabbing, money-hungry tactics of America's Fiendish Jew Player Eric (whose sanded devil horns—interested side note!—became plainly visible after he spontaneously shaved his head down to a mohawk).

"It Was Just Me Being Me in the House" - An Interview with Big Brother 8's Amber [Reality News Online via Reality Blurred]

Amber's 'Big Brother' Exit Interview Suggests She Wasn't All That She Seemed

Seth — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:44:30 PDT

Among Big Brother's cast of dim-bulbed reality TV cretins obsessed with the utterly meaningless Golden Power of Head of Veto, it was contestant Amber, whom we first discovered after she made some extremely controversial statements about Jewish New York Americans, who most drew us in. But something in this post-finale interview (Tommy Lee lifestyle-aspirant "Evil" Dick Donato won, if you care) led us to wonder if Amber really was the bipolar Jew-hating illiterate she skillfully presented for the cameras, as she managed to make it to the end of the interview without once cursing the mistrustful Chosen People, bursting into tears, or asking what 25 cent words like "intuition" and "empathetic" meant before using them appropriately in a sentence.

Big Brother 8 Amber After Finale Interview [YouTube via RealityTVCafe.com]

Reporters have been barred by CBS from asking ...

Seth — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:17:12 PDT

Reporters have been barred by CBS from asking Big Brother 8's Amber about the "controversial" remarks she made about Jews that were captured by the reality show's all-seeing cameras. [Reality Blurred]

Join Mike 'Boogie' Malin On His Journey Of Genital Wart Discovery

Seth — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:45:37 PDT

In the topsy-turvy, camera-hungry world in which reality television stars exist, there is no development too insignificant or embarrassing to prevent it from playing out on national TV. Mike "Boogie" Malin, self-made entrepreneur behind The Dolce Group restaurants, winner of Big Brother: All-Stars, and jack shack vampire, is certainly no exception, having parlayed the discovery of a suspicious bump on his penis into a full segment on E!'s Dr. 90210 last night.

After a thorough examination by former BB housemate and best friend Dr. Will Kirby, Boogie is informed that he has contracted a genital wart (see it magnified 1000x at the 4:30 mark!), prompting the crossover reality star to immediately visit Sunset Tan to get the his penis spray-tanned back to a uniform, perfectly bronzed color.

Boogie in Jackshack "Adult Content" [YouTube via Reality Blurred]

Shocking New 'BB8' Footage Reveals Amber Might Not Be Smartest Guest in the House

Mark — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:15:40 PDT

Since previously posted YouTube clips cut together from Big Brother 8's unflinching Intolerance Cam have proved so popular of late (as well as the brilliant Better Know A Bias chart that helps fans sort through the houseguests' complicated matrix of prejudices), we're happy to pass along another sure crowd-pleaser centered around Amber's inability to comprehend difficult, multisyllabic words like "superficial," "integrity," and "outing." The posting of the montage is a bold play by Amber fans, who hope to save their favorite contestant from possible elimination this week by trying to exploit an obscure Big Brother bylaw that prohibits the elimination of anyone not mentally advanced enough to understand what's happening to them.

BB8 Amber is dumber than a 5th grader...or 1st grade [YouTube]
Previously: Big Brother 8 House Populated By Impressive Variety Of Bigots [Defamer]

The Big Chart Of BB8 Biases

Mark — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:46:11 PDT

If, after reviewing the footage captured by Big Brother 8's exclusive Intolerance Cam, you still find yourself unclear about the specific prejudices of the show's houseguests, we recommend that you study the Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. blog's illuminating, meticulously constructed "Better Know a Big Brother 8 Bias" chart. If we were the betting kind, we'd put our money on Tommy Lee doppleganger Dick to win it all; his position at the center of the chart seems to indicate that he's the best equipped to form a staggering variety of alliances based on ignorance about virtually any race, gender, or creed.

Better Know a BB8 Bias [Whiskey, Tango. Foxtrot]

Big Brother 8 House Populated By Impressive Variety Of Bigots

Mark — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:50:28 PDT

· As demonstrated by the above "Racism & Bigotry Sampler," the Big Brother 8 Intolerance Cam never, ever sleeps.
· Winnie Cooper is ABC News' Person of the Week, which means she's probably having an easier time today than TV boyfriend Kevin Arnold, who really can't catch a break with his big-screen directorial debut.
· Woody Allen reminisces about the formerly uninsurable stars who provide a glimmer of hope that Lindsay Lohan might one day work in Hollywood again.
·Amazingly, this review headlined "Stardust a Shrek for grown-ups" is not a pan.

Contestant Forgets That Big Brother 8's New 'Intolerance Cam' Is Always Watching

Mark — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:10:23 PDT

· We'll admit to not watching enough Big Brother 8 to tell this Amber person from Mike Boogie, but we nonetheless find her unedited thoughts on Jewish people (and her clumsy attempt to uncover the identity of America's Secret Jew, apparently one of the new season's exciting plot twists) quite fascinating. We think a special Tolerance Challenge might be in the houseguests' future.
· Sad news: Rosario Dawson will probably not be in the Porno film Kevin Smith wrote for her.
· Happy news: Chris Rock is not that kid's daddy.
· The Bel-Air Beverly Crest Neighborhood Council helpfully tells the Hillside Burglars where all the cops will be hanging out on Thursday night.
· Being the victim of a Britney Spears fender-bender is probably not the best way to use up one's 15 minutes of fame.