HUNG BLACK ESCORT NEEDED FOR EMMY AWARDS (Awards and after parties)

I am looking for a hung black escort to attend the Emmy Awards with me. The escort must wear flimsy white linen slacks that will be tailored and provided. Cockring ok—no underwear.

No money involved. Must attend the Emmy Awards and a couple after-parties with me. Fuck around with whoever you like, but flimsy, white linen slacks must be worn with no underwear — a cockring is preferred. Escort can be white but prefer black. Must be hung however. Have fun and meet the right men.

Lets have some fun!

Included with the ad was the accompanying photo (we've black-barred out all faces to protect the innocent). Interested and appropriately equipped parties take note, however: We make no guarantees that the blonde man gleefully sniffing the trophy's signature rubber-band ball will be the same one who'll be similarly inspecting your white-linen-wrapped goods (post-Labor Day fashion bylaws be damned!) after Sunday night's big event.

• HUNG BLACK ESCORT NEEDED FOR EMMY AWARDS (Awards and after parties) [Craigslist]

"No way!" she gasped in her seat when she heard her name called as winner. Upon arriving at the podium, she gasped, "Well, well, well! Here we go again, f—ers. Here we go again!" Looking around the auditorium, she acknowledged some celebs in the audience, adding, "Hanks, Gandolfini — what the f—! I'm not going to tell anyone to suck it. I would make love to this thing if I could."

The evening's other winners included best guest actor Tim Conway for the sweet, old (perverted, racist) writer, wandering, Studio 60-style, around the 30 Rock halls, and best guest actress Cynthia Nixon, for her character with multiple-personality-disorder on SVU. (All of the personalities were up for the same award.) HBO's John Adams took eight trophies—the evening's most—while Mad Men won the most series awards with four, including best cinematography. Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," meanwhile, took two: best music and lyrics, and best editing of clip packages, for which it tied with American Idol. She dedicated the award to the man who "broke her heart – who'll always have a place in my heart." Variety has the full list of winners.

[Photo credit: Variety]

• Kathy Griffin wins an Emmy — and shocks — again [Gold Derby]
• Emmys: 210 minutes of Creative Arts awards [Variety]

The creator and exec producer of AMC's critical darling is set to make the rounds of the majors in the next few weeks as he shops for a big-bucks overall deal. The timing is hardly accidental, given the approach of Sept. 21's Primetime Emmy Awards, in which "Mad Men" is a top contender with 16 noms.

It's understood that "Mad Men" producer Lionsgate TV and AMC have just begun their discussions on a third-season pickup for the period ensembler. Weiner's continued involvement with the show, a passion project that he nurtured as a spec for years before getting a yes from AMC, is sure to be part of those talks.

What a Mad Men might look like without the notoriously (from what we hear) controlling showrunner would be difficult to imagine, though it's safe to say that minus Weiner's indelible creative imprint, the AMC drama would be in danger of morphing into a different series altogether. We'd hate to see Season 3 begin with the title card "23 Years Later..." only to find our treasured rotation of series regulars replaced by cheaper unknowns, puzzling over how best to market a Rubik's Cube as Sterling Cooper discovers its wackier side in the Me Decade.

• Showrunner shops for 'Mad' money [Variety]

Along this journey through Satan's lower colon, you'll spot some recognizable faces— Blair Underwood, Christian Slater, McDreamy, Ricki Lake, Chad Lowe, and Corey Feldman, whose bedroom walls we can only imagine were covered in "Bad" posters at the time. You'll also spot some lesser-knowns: Keith "Adventures in Babysitting" Coogan, Melora "Jan from The Office" Hardin, Carrie "Carol Burnett's deceased daughter" Hamilton, plus an elegant pas de deux featuring Tracy "Ricky's daughter/Seinfeld's twin" Nelson and someone by the name of D.A. Pauley. Have we sold this yet? Did we mention Feldman gets a dance solo at the 4:45 mark? Enjoy.

• Wow, the Stars of the Future from the 1988 Oscars All Ending up Sucking… [hollywood-newsroom.com]

1. Britney looks good.
2. Britney isn't chewing gum.
3. Britney is relaxed.
4. Britney doesn't appear to be pregnant.
5. Britney is good at covering up signs of fear and/or repulsion.
6. We're amazed she didn't say, "What's a surname?"
7. That hairstyle is atrocious. (You decide which.)
8. We believe she truly has no idea who Brown/Brand is.
9. She notices a passing resemblance to K-Fed at the :39 mark.
10. The elephant appears to be fantasizing about scraping saucy-British-comic out of his toes.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

• VMAs [MTV]

Sometimes I'm tempted to dismiss Steve Carell 's shot at winning the Emmy for two reasons. He portrays what we all (including Emmy voters) hate the most — the creepy boss from hell — and he's already lost the race for best comedy actor twice. How can he possibly have any hope now?

While O'Neill goes on to call Carell's Michael Scott, "detestable, "offensive," "awful," and "off-putting" (and don't even get him started on Rainn Wilson's Dwight!) we can't help but quibble with his logic: if Emmy voters were afraid of cringe-inducing comedy, why would Carell be losing out to twitchy performances by Ricky Gervais and Tony Shalhoub? No, we believe Carell's Emmy ignonimy is rooted in a different source: his humid reaction shot at the 2006 ceremony (pictured above). Steve, can you play all the creepy bosses you want to, but never let 'em see you sweat.

• Could Steve Carell's creepy role in 'The Office' hurt his Emmy hopes? [LAT]

[Photos: LAT]

• Reality host nominees to co-host Emmys [Reuters]

In it, Alec describes how he unwinds after a long week of delivering crackling zingers on one of TV's best-loved comedies: curling up with one of little brother Stephen's flesh-friendly cable classics. These weren't merely the product of a lesser-Baldwin's "soft-core porno career on Skinemax," as Alec dismissively refers to them; rather, they were artistically uncompromising works that just happened to also be erotically charged thrillers. Stephen may have abandoned the genre since having located the Jesus-occupied quadrants of his heart. Luckily, however, films like Zebra Lounge, Spider's Web, and Bound By Lies will live on so long as horny 13-year-old boys with no access to the internet for whatever reason continue to wander into their parents' basement at 3 a.m.

• Emmy Watch: Baldwin on Baldwin [THR]

Jeremy Piven was bent on meeting "Transformers" hottie Megan Fox in the greenroom at Spike TV's Guy's Choice Awards, airing on Sunday. "I don't know you, but I should," said Piven, staring at her like she was a lamb chop.

He went on: "I know you're getting an award." Said an unimpressed Fox: "Do you even know which one?" The "Entourage" star was ready to answer, but she'd already walked away.

Perhaps Piven had caught wind of reports that Fox has been spotted recently unencumbered by her engagement ring from 2008 Guys Choice "Luckiest Bastard" winner Brian Austin Green. ("It's just a placeholder, baby—'til we iron out the details on my 90210-spinoff guest-starring gig and I can get you the rock you deserve...") Still, dude—not cool: TV-ghettoized brahs before Michael Bay-championed hahs, yo.

• Side Dish: Jeremy Piven is out-Foxed [NY Daily News]

“The show bent over backwards to accommodate her film schedule, and then she criticizes the show for lack of material?"

"It's an ungrateful slap in the face to the very writers responsible for her Emmy win in the first place.”

Beyond just that, these are the Emmys we're talking about: Oscar's Paste-Eating Cousin™, where lackluster material paired with long-haul dependability reign supreme. You think three-time-winner, five-time-nominee Tony Shalhoub is doing Chekhov over there? It's Monk! No one's ever even seen that show!

• 'Grey's' insider calls Heigl's Emmy comments 'an ungrateful slap' [EW.com]

· Robert Downey Jr. enjoyed himself immensely, delighting the crowd with his take on the famous goosestepping sequence from Shampoo. [ONTD]
· Jane Fonda recalled her first impressions after having screen tested with Beatty in the '50s, "I thought he was gay. He was so cute, and all his men friends were gay, and brilliant. He had a way of collecting really brilliant gay men friends. And he liked to play piano in a piano bar – I mean, what were the odds he was straight? Shows you how dumb I was." [People]

In Saturday night's live broadcast, Harrison Ford (who, in deference to his surroundings, had only Sunny D swishing around the ice-filled highball glass he totes around to all awards ceremonies) recreated perhaps one of the most iconic sequences in modern cinematic history: The Raiders of the Lost Ark idol/sandbag switch-off. It was a clever bit of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull promotion, particularly in the moments immediately after Ford stole a taste of the non-toxic green goop that covered him, as the oldest man in the room was then made to outrun a rolling 500 ton gobstopper while avoiding a swarm of deadly Pixy Stix blowdarts launched at him from the kids-only crowd.

• Kids Choice Awards

Apparently, two weren't speaking to the third until literally seconds before they took the stage. Conan didn't name names, and Leno, failing to realize that identifying the Angel serving diva bitchitude would ingratiate him with angry Gays, didn't press him on the matter. After taking in Conan's story, we invite you to revisit the reunion, and decide for yourselves which was the odd-Angel-out. Our bet's on brunettes vs. blonde.

• The Tonight Show

· Justin Timberlake, who too is not fucking Chace Crawford, will be hosting the ESPYs, just to keep the rumors at bay. [THR]

[W]ith the number of gavel skeins in double digits, the National Academy of TV Arts & Sciences has finally come to the realization that Judges Judy, Mathis, Alex, Hatchett and their ilk aren't going anywhere. [...]

"For a long time, people didn't really know what to do with courtshows," says Michael Rourke, who exec produces "Judge David Young" and "Judge Maria Lopez" for Sony Pictures TV.

"It wasn't really a talkshow or a reality show or a soap opera," he says. "It had elements of all of those things. The genre was an orphan. It's great they're acknowledging it as its own category."

The instant frontrunner is the deeply tanned, trapjawed grandma widely credited with the current genre glut, Judge Judy, who can turn a deadbeat, welfare-collecting ex-boyfriend who refuses to return a borrowed lawnmower into a pile a smoking ash with one lasery stare and the utterance of copyrighted dictum, "Don't rape my chicken and tell me you're taking it for a walk!" (We're already looking forward to her moving acceptance speech—"Bup bup bup! I'm TALKING here. Pipe down, Maestro!") Still, don't rule out darkhorse candidate Judge David "Justice with a Snap" Young, who'll appeal to the Academy's slightly younger, Sweeney Todd-quoting demographic.

• Daytime Emmys add court category [Variety]

swank looked great, i bet that was Versace, she looke dgirly for the fiorst time in forever- im sad for PTA i love teh Coens but PTA well tehy shouldve let him release all 6 hours of There Will Be Blood cos thats what i bet there is of it, Kidman as anyone knows and me are not bffs by any stretch, and i though te edgy thing was cool but for some reason not onher- and her forehead is way too shiny it flips me out- iwas REALLY isnpired Diablo Cody won - that was fucking AWESOME in fact i think i just may have peed all over her My Space-

i was supposed to be at Eltons Party at i think noon or something and if we dont hiurry it will suck- i really dont want to get there ina crush of shit and stuff- wait my pr is outside im calling her hold on- okay i hope the disaster has been averted but m,y expirience with that party is that i do NOT want to see Paris dancing ona table i really really DONT and i dont want to stuff a stale slamon canape in my mouth and i really need to get laid so i m off to do so.

By way of summary:

Swank: Girly
Kidman: Shiny
Anderson: Sorry
Cody: Worthy
Elton: Party
PR Girl: Handy
Hilton: Skanky
Love: Horny

• Courtney Love's MySpace Blog

· Only gently touching on the political humor that is his stock in trade, he did manage to later score with several amusing ad-libs. "That guy is so arrogant!" he complained about modest "Once" composer Glen Hansard. He did come perilously close to "Uma . . . Oprah" territory, however, with such bits as his tally of the pregnant stars in attendance. [THR]
· "It was a night for all the seams to show, and Stewart threaded them deftly. Stewart may be a Comedy Central 'niche' performer, but making Oscar-caliber movies has itself become a niche industry, and Hollywood is at odds with itself over new technology - reflected in the give-and-take between the content Stewart generated and the rest of the show." [baltimoresun.com]
· "Mr. Stewart used his second chance to play host at the Oscars as a do-over, trying to win back the audience he irritated his first time out, in 2006. The star of Comedy Central's "Daily Show" had a few amusing lines but clearly didn't have time to put together a polished and cogent monologue. A Yom Kippur joke about the film "Atonement" fell flat, as did his mockery of Dennis Hopper — not so much unkind as passé: not many viewers remember Mr. Hopper's psychedelic years." [NY Times]
· "He had emerged on stage from under a giant lavatory paper tube. His unflashy dinner suit and proper bow tie (long black ties were the trend) declared that he was not going to try too hard to please. As the host of America's satirical Daily Show, he was certainly not going to let the studios forget their writers' grievances." [The Guardian]
· "Like many non-Hollywood hosts, Stewart does come across as a little aloof and apart, which is a risk. Still, if he lacks a natural rapport with the crowd, he does seem to recognize that his role is to keep them happy — to tease gently, without drawing blood — and to stay fast on his feet." [USA Today]
· "Two years ago, Stewart had struggled on his debut, with sketches falling flat and a number of lines bombing. But this time he was sparkling." [BBC]
· "Stewart, back for a second turn as host, was vastly improved from his 2006 appearance. He proved equal to the challenge posed by Oscarcast's quick turnaround. His crash-deadline material worked. And even when it didn't, he was genial, relaxed, and seemed utterly at home. His manner suggested that, before the show even started, the hard part was over: settling the strike." [CP]
· "On the bright side, host Jon Stewart pulled off an enjoyable 10-minute monologue (and that despite the writers' strike cutting into his preparation time). The best lines concerned politics. About the Hillary Clinton-Barack Obama race, Stewart quipped, 'Normally when you see a black man or a woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.' The black members of the audience seemed to enjoy that joke a lot." [orlandosentinel.com]
· "Stewart also earned his keep by maintaining a playful, irreverent tone throughout the night, whether it was jesting about Cate Blanchett's versatility or watching "Lawrence of Arabia" on an iPhone screen. Should he welcome the headaches associated with the gig, it's hard to think of a current comedic talent better suited to such a thankless task." [Variety]

After the subdued night in the Eastman Room, the ball delivered a frenetic, classy-as-Hollywood-can-be excitement. The music was by the charming Pink Martini. The food was an excellent steak by Hollywood's royal chef, Wolfgang Puck. [...]

Michael Clayton himself, George Clooney, soon drops over and shouts to the group: "You know what this is!? This is the losers table! Look at me! You know what I am? I am a loo-ser! All night long everyone who comes up me makes this face," he says, mimicking the hangdog expression he's been getting. The table laughs, and whatever the group might be feeling inside, it appears in fine and cheery spirits to its dinner guest.

The joke, of course, is that Clooney, despite having failed to come away with another Swardstrom statuette, is as far as from a "loo-ser" as one can possibly conceive. Besides having single-handedly restored Old Glamour to a Hollywood that has all but lost its way—to say nothing of being Mr. August in the U.N.'s 2008 12 Hunks With Heart Calendar—George is also the man who managed to locate the source of that infernal beeping at Joel Stein's house. No, Mr. Clooney: You, sir, are no loo-ser. You sir, are a King Among Nominees.

• Kudos Crasher: Oscars 2008 [LAT]
• And the chocolate Oscar goes to... [venturacountystar.com]

Still, sharp-minded Oscar watchers (not an Alzheimer's joke, we swear!) might recall us noting a similarly skintastic rundown of last year's Breast Supporting Actress nominees, and, quite frankly, if Dame Judi Dench shaking her funbags didn't kill us, then we imagine we'd survive a glimpse at Holbrook in high-waisted swim trunks. The guy, after all, has been satisfying Dixie Carter for years, and she's a lot of woman.

• This Year's Oscar Nominees: A Shirtless Gallery [The Sword]

· Edie Falco follows in Mary Louise Parker's footsteps, starring in a half-hour comedy for Showtime produced by Lionsgate, about "an iron-willed Gotham nurse balancing the challenges of work in an urban hospital and a difficult personal life." No title yet, but may we suggest Needles? Then they can plug it as the "Weeds n' Needles Comedy Hour." [Variety]
· Discovery Channel got cold feet about airing Oscar-nominated documentary Taxi to the Dark Side, about the murder of an Afghani cab driver at a U.S. air base, so HBO scooped it up for a September airing. [Variety]
· THR questions if the lack of post-strike activity suggests "the calm before the storm or the calm before more calm?" Not to criticize their coverage, but they completely left out the possibility of it being the calm before the storm before another brief period of calmness before a steadier storm front moves in. So many possibilities! [THR]

· Thanks to the war, the strike, and a batch of feel-bad contenders, this year's ceremony will herald a Return to Downer. [Reuters]
· But wait! There's still a reason to show up: No one seems to be able to call clear frontrunners in many of the major categories. Even the Coen Brothers expressed concern that their T-Chigurgh might turn off Terminator-averse voters. [AP]
· Want to spice up your annual pool? Play the Little Gold Men blog's "In Memoriam" Montage Pool. (And Charles Nelson Reilly better make it.) [vanityfair.com]
· Pushing Daisies star Kristin Chenoweth will be singing nominated song "That's How You Know," from Enchanted, and so impressed longtime telecast conductor Bill Conti that the red-faced maestro could barely keep his trembling hands from dropping the sheet music into the pit. She's that adorable and talented! [LAT]
· Boycotting this year's ceremony? We suspect that's because you're just JELLUS, h8r! Follow these 10 simple steps, and you collect your own Oscar! [timesonline.co.uk]
· "The documentary is the unwanted problem child of the Academy Awards...but consider the plight of the documentarians (you may get a glimpse of them on Oscar Night, huddled in the back of the Kodak Theatre like bridge trolls): How long can you respect the rules, when the parent keeps proving he has no judgment?" [WashPo]
· Fine, so maybe it's not the most stimulating 4 hours and 27 minutes of your life. The SF Chronicle (yes! The one from Zodiac!) suggests ways to liven up an awards show relic. [sfgate.com]

· More guild award results: The 10th annual Costume Designers Guild Awards gave Blades of Glory (contemporary), Sweeney Todd (period), and The Golden Compass (fantasy) their top honors, with the Platinum Codpiece awarded to Sacha Baron Cohen for excellence in the package-stuffing arts. [THR]
· Monk is back for a seventh season. Yay! Who doesn't love a little more Monk? We're definitely going to get around to watching an episode this go-around. [Variety]

[Photo: Flickr]

His tantrums are the stuff of legend. Battered by screaming fits, tossed objects and abrupt firings, his assistants rarely last long — a 2005 Wall Street Journal piece estimated that Rudin went through 250 assistants in a five-year period (even Rudin admitted to 119, though his figure excluded assistants who didn't survive a two-week trial period). On the other hand, the industry is full of ex-Rudin assistants who've used the experience as a steppingstone to success.

Sony Pictures chief Amy Pascal, who is releasing the Rudin-produced "The Other Boleyn Girl" this month, worked for Rudin as a young production executive. "He was tough," she recalls. "You'd give him script notes and get back his response, written with a big black pen, saying 'TERRIBLE IDEA!' But you'd always forgive him because he's so smart, cares so much and he gets movies made that no one else can."

Certainly, his brutal, call-roller cleansing regime is a matter of public record: Assistants' rights groups have been targeting Rudin ever since a mass grave was discovered behind his Paramount HQ by an after-hours security guard, who couldn't help but notice a human hand jutting out from a carefully tended flowerbed, still clasping a retrieved Diet Coke can whose lack of vanilla flavoring was what ultimately did them in. But for the elite few with the fortitude to survive the apprenticeship, great things are almost invariably in store: Pascal's time under the tyrannical mentor, for example, is widely credited with earning the Sony head the incongruous sex-parts that would ultimately win her titles like Showman of the Year.

• For Scott Rudin, there will be quality [LAT]

GF will do anything for Two (2) Tickets to Academy Awards - mw4m - 40

The rest of the ad, plus a screenshot of the goodies up for grabs, follow after the jump:

We are a real and very genuine couple who once in a while likes a little kinky, naughty play. We are coming in the week of the 18th and would like to attend the Academy Awards. MY GF is willing to do ANYTHING I tell her to do for Two (2) Tickets to this event and would love to attend an after party as well.

To fully test the perimeters of their tempting, all-inclusive offer, we sent back an e-mail containing this image of a giant Oscar statue covered in delicious, breath-limiting plastic wrap. We're happy to report we got a quick response, consisting of a friendly, "Yup! That too! What section are your seats in? For that kind of kink, we'd have to insist on orchestra or first mezzanine at the farthest," suggesting these Oscar-loving swingers are fully prepared to deliver on their all-caps offer of "ANYTHING," should you have the hotly sought-after goods they seek.

• GF will do anything for Two (2) Tickets to Academy Awards - mw4m - 40 [Craigslist]

As is their custom, Walken was also required to don women's apparel, instantly evoking the cross-dressing dabbling required of him in Hairspray, though he politely declined to answer any of the crowd's pressing questions about John Travolta's tonsel-hockey skills.

[Photo: WireImage]

• Walken Gets Harvard Hasty Pudding Award [AP]

With the strike settled, and Gil Cates's beloved, four-hours-plus affair intact, the Academy Awards party circuit is showing signs of returning to its robust former self. To help you get your bearings after the disoriented circumstances of the last few months, Variety has laid all the Oscar-week parties and events on one, easy-to-read schedule. It's fine, but we've swapped in a few events we feel are more essential, and posted the final product above. If you haven't already, we'd suggest you start plotting your itinerary now, before you double-book and/or get your signals crossed, and wind up tanked and getting increasingly mouthy with an annoyed hostess at Cut.

• Six days of soirees [Variety]

· Variety identifies the true villain of the writers strike: You! "Internet's supporting role in the strike is another reminder of the way the Web has inadvertently helped pollute society, coarsening the level of discourse and incubating online communities prone to wildly lash out at enemies real and imagined." [Variety]
· In the first major post-strike network purchase, one-hit wonders Max "I'm secretly Karen!" Mutchnick and Dave "My writing partner's secretly Karen!" Kohan have sold a sitcom pilot to ABC. The project, originally set up at CBS, follows "a gay writer and a straight writer, who are best friends, and their hot young assistants." Yes, yes, we know what you're going to say—but you didn't let us finish: The writers are cavemen!
· More below-the-line guild awards: Jess Gonchor took the top prize for a contemporary film for No Country for Old Men at the Art Directors Guild's 12th Annual Awards for Excellence in Production Design, while Jack Fisk took best period art direction for There Will Be Blood. The 44th annual Cinema Audio Society Awards, meanwhile, gave Country top honors. (And deservedly so: Anton Chigurh's footsteps alone deserved special recognition.)

· USA buys the cable rights to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (as well as those of the first three Indy installments) in a deal that could cost $40 million, depending on how much Crystal Skull earns in theaters. [Variety]
· The AMPTP says it's ready to start bargaining with SAG on a new contract, but reserves the right to walk away from negotiations in bad faith should they decide at any point that doing would be a good PR move that makes the actors seem "greedy" and "unreasonable." [Variety]

· No, There Will Be Blood's potable does not involve a milkshake. Rather, it's Texas Tea: gin, vodka, rum, tequila, Cointreau. OJ, sour mix, and a splash of Coke, served on the rocks.
· For Michael Clayton, they offer Fixer: amaretto, cognac, cherry brandy and cream. Strained over ice and served in a martini glass.
· And finally, inspired by Atonement (and especially apropo today), try Bound by Love, containing sloe gin, Chambord, lemon juice and an egg white, shaken with ice and served up.

Of course, had the brilliant Diving Bell and the Butterfly snagged a nod, they could have added the Paralyzer to that list, a potent concoction that renders the drinker able to communicate only through a series of eye blinks.

• The Polo Lounger

UPDATE: Is Dick Clark pulling the levers? After the jump.

I'm told by sources that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and NBC are on the verge of taking legal action against the WGA for actions leading to the cancellation of this year's Golden Globes.

Really, could Jeff Zucker possibly be more of a putz? I say the WGA should countersue the NBC Universal midget for impersonating a mogul (and the HFPA for impersonating a legitimate news organization).

Even in the spirit of the Everybody's Suing Everybody Day season, we pray the rumor isn't true. Still, one glance at the President and CEO's track record (we're reminded of the time a number of SNL writers scheduled to read a "Top Ten Demands of the Striking Writers" list on Letterman were fatally felled by a tumbling safe that Late Show producers to this day insist was not a scheduled bit) is enough to convince us of this: That an internal conference call with perfect NBC storm Ben Silverman probably lamented the death of their awards season crown jewel, eventually floating the possibility of "sapping the nerdiest, ugliest, meanest kids at Hollywood High for whatever's left over after their little uprising bleeds them bone dry," followed by dark, bellowing laughs heard from Burbank clear through to Universal City.

UPDATE: Nikki Finke updates her story by clarifying that it was "Dick Clark Productions and possibly even by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association" who mulled legal action, and then approached NBC to join them. NBC has now officially denied that they will be filing suit.

• Sources: NBC & Hollywood Foreign Press May Sue WGA Over No Golden Globes [deadlinehollywooddaily.com]

After announcing the happy news to his staff, a relieved Cates, obviously still haunted by those troubling dreams, elaborated on the psychological burden that had just been lifted, muttering to show director Louis J. Horvitz, "Thank fucking God that's over. I couldn't take another night of waking up in a cold sweat, pantsless and gripping the World's Greatest Boss novelty Oscar you gave me, screaming, 'And the Oscar goes to...Javier Bardem!' There's only so much of that the wife will put up with, no matter how much stress you're under."

• Oscar crew back in session for 'Plan A'" [AP]

The news gets worse. According to BAFTA's site, this year's ceremony was officially renamed the Orange British Academy Film Awards. So not only did the BAFTAs allow their integrity to be compromised by allowing a cellphone carrier to sponsor a single award, they caved and let the sponsor brand the entire ceremony! It's important to note that the academy let their evening be called the "Orange British Academy Film Awards," as opposed to going with something a smidge classier like "Orange presents the British Academy Film Awards." We wait for baited breath for next year's award season, where we just might get a chance to see The Old Navy Golden Globes present Shia LaBeouf with a special Old Navy Best-Fitting Jeans On Screen award!

• 'ATONEMENT' TOPS BAFTA AWARDS [Variety]
• BAFTAS LAND A STARRING ROLE AS SPONSORS JOSTLE FOR POSITION [Times Online]

· Behind one of the lowest-rated Grammys of all time (which managed a meager average of 17.5 million viewers—not even the red-hot Andy Williams, Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard could save them!), CBS manages a Sunday night Nielsen win. [Variety]
· The Los Angeles Economic Development Corp. estimates that the strike cost the local economy $2 billion, about four times more than the 1998 walkout that lasted six weeks longer. [THR]
· The Visual Effects Society rewards the genius of Michael Bay's Giant Fucking Robots vision, handing Transformers (and the Industrial Light & Magic team who put those creepily realistic lips on Optimus Prime) four awards. [Variety]