“The videotape that is currently being circulated is several years old and captures Shia playing a game among friends in which he uses a derogatory word toward a friend,” LaBeouf’s rep tells me exclusively.

“He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

While we appreciate the sentiment, we suspect GLAAD won't be fully satisfied until the young male role model tapes a public service announcement underscoring the ability of ugly words to inflict a pain as severe as "what my Indiana Jones character Mutt Williams felt as he was thwacked numerous times in the genitals by a variety of barbed, bulbous jungle plants."

• Shia LaBeouf "Embarrassed" by Antigay Slur [eonline.com]

The comments came a day after China's official Xinhua News Agency named Stone the "public enemy of all mankind"; a government spokesman reacted to her apology with the "hope that as an actress she should contribute to our two peoples' mutual trust, understanding and friendship." And just like that, Basic Instinct 2 disappeared from every video store in Beijing. Apology accepted!

[Photo Credit: AFP]

• Sharon Stone apologizes for remark on China quake [AP]

Reporter Chuck Philips and his supervisor, Deputy Managing Editor Marc Duvoisin, issued statements of apology Wednesday afternoon.

"In relying on documents that I now believe were fake, I failed to do my job," Philips said in a statement Wednesday. "I'm sorry."

In his statement, Duvoisin added: "We should not have let ourselves be fooled. That we were is as much my fault as Chuck's. I deeply regret that we let our readers down."

The humiliating gaffe is but another notch on the scoreboard for the LAT's chief rivalry in the ongoing East Coast/West Coast newspaper wars; members of the NY Times's thug posse are reportedly having copies of the apology mounted in every department, where it will hang alongside their framed Platinum "Most Dangerous Motherfucker Paper of Record" Pulitzer.

• The Times apologizes over article on rapper [LAT]

In an Aug. 24 e-mail, he apologized for "[my] vile attacks on your very soul ... A comment about your poor Mom ... your professional status ...

... your abilities as a mother, as an actor, all need to be wrapped in shame, and rocketed out into some distant soundless galaxy, where they could flame out."

Let it not be said that Sheen hasn't offered at least one olive branch through these bitterly contentious proceedings, having taken back his wishes that his ex and her limited acting talent be fated to the kinds of severe punishment usually reserved for irredeemable Superman II villains.

• More confessions of 'Video Vixen' Karrine Steffans [NY Daily News]

RNO: Is there anything else you want to tell us about your time in the Big Brother house? [...]

Amber: I made a comment when I was upset with Eric — I made it about Jewish people and people from New York. I just want to tell the people I offended that I am very sorry. I did not mean to offend anybody and I was upset with Eric at the time. Being upset, people tend to say things they don't mean.

That came from a really bad place, and from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry — I send my apologies to anyone I offended. I don't like to hurt people's feelings. The words just came out and I was upset with Eric. I have friends that are Jewish and friends from New York. I am not prejudiced and I am truly truly truly sorry.

As public apologies for temporary attacks of involuntary bigotry go, Amber's seems as heartfelt as they come: We suspect her best Jewish and New York-based friends would readily back up her claims that her hurtful words were merely spoken in retaliation to the backstabbing, money-hungry tactics of America's Fiendish Jew Player Eric (whose sanded devil horns—interested side note!—became plainly visible after he spontaneously shaved his head down to a mohawk).

• "It Was Just Me Being Me in the House" - An Interview with Big Brother 8's Amber [Reality News Online via Reality Blurred]

"I want to apologize to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me," said Hudgens. "I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends."

We're sure her public will quickly forgive her for this youthful indiscretion, knowing that in this age of self-leaked, poorly art-directed sex tapes, they're lucky that their tweens weren't prematurely ended by stumbling upon grainy night-vision footage of their hero copulating with co-star/rumored boyfriend Zac Efron while innocently surfing High School Musical fan sites.

• High School Musical Star Apologizes to Fans [ABC News]

"I apologize to anyone who was offended., I obviously made a bad choice of words. Everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard. In the family atmosphere of the telethon, I forget that not everyone knows me that well."

"That something like this would distract from the true purpose of the telethon pains me deeply...The success of the show and all the good that will come from it shouldn't be lost because of one unfortunate word. I accept responsibility for what I said. There are no excuses. I am sorry."

We can only hope that GLAAD finds Lewis's swift and humble mea culpa satisfactory, and that they don't insist on trotting out his mostly forgotten 1967 box office flop, The Illiterate Faggot Professor, as proof that France's clown hero still harbors deep-seated prejudices against reading-challenged sodomites a full 30 years after he lampooned the disadvantaged minority on the big screen.

• Jerry Lewis Raises Millions, Causes Controversy [abcnews.go.com]

• Julia Roberts Welcomes a Baby Boy [People]

In his written apology, Stallone, who was not present in court, said he had made a "terrible mistake" but that he was ignorant of Australian laws.

However John Agius, SC, for the Commonwealth DPP, said the facts of Stallone's case indicated continuing criminal conduct, after 48 vials of human growth hormone were found by customs at Sydney airport.

He also said the US actor tried to "cover up" another offense by throwing four vials of testosterone out of his Sydney hotel window.

Sure, to the jaded eye of a prosecutor, the launching of four tubes of testosterone off a hotel balcony moments before a police search of the premises may have seemed like the behavior of someone aware that his Rocky's-little-helpers were contraband. The suspicious actions took on a far less incriminating tone, however, when the actor's barrister calmly explained that Stallone was merely dispensing some personal memorabilia among the gathered, street-level fans, instantly sending them leaping for the rolling vials of miracle injectables that allow their aging screen hero to inflate himself to less saggy, John Rambo-worthy proportions.

• Stallone sorry for illegal hormones [SMH.com.au]