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apologies
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Apologies
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apologies
apologies
'LAT' Comes Correct About Their Bogus Tupac Story
After an independent investigation into yesterday's stunning report by The Smoking Gun that the LAT had managed to be duped by a federally incarcerated Turtle-like, who forged FBI documents implicated Sean "Puffy" Combs's entourage in the 1994 shooting of Tupac Shakur at the Quad Recording Studios in Times Square (five bullets, including one through his head and one through his scrotum), the paper has now officially issued on apology:
Reporter Chuck Philips and his supervisor, Deputy Managing Editor Marc Duvoisin, issued statements of apology Wednesday afternoon.More »
apologies
Charlie Sheen No Longer Wants To Shoot Talentless Ex-Wife Denise Richards Into Space
Yet more from the ongoing custody battle between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, which began as a shame-free environment, and has quickly degenerated from there: Richards has now employed a former nanny to make several nauseating allegations about Sheen inappropriately touching his daughters. Not that he's all bad: She also acknowledges that Charlie has made an effort at mending fences, particularly with the following retraction:
In an Aug. 24 e-mail, he apologized for "[my] vile attacks on your very soul ... A comment about your poor Mom ... your professional status ...More »
apologies
Amber Reminds Us Not To Hate The Jew, Just Hate The Jewish Player
As much as we hoped it might happen, we never really anticipated Big Brother 8 breakout anti-Semite/anti-Manhattanite Amber Siyavus would be subjected to a montage of her greatest hate-mongering hits on Tuesday night's finale. Still, we assumed reporters would have jumped on the opportunity to get her to further clarify her theories about the "money-hungry" peoples, easily identifiable by their noses, surnames, and love of the Mets. Only Reality News Online, however, was successful in getting Siyavus to address her Gibsonian sentiments:
RNO: Is there anything else you want to tell us about your time in the Big Brother house? [...]More »
apologies
Vanessa Hudgens (And Her Army of Reps) Sorry About Those Leaked Nudie Pics
Vanessa Hudgens, the once-wholesome High School Musical star whose naked body has now been viewed by untold millions of (warning: link NSFW) depraved perverts on the internet, has just released a statement apologizing for posing for the racy photographs that have Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head spinning in its freezer. From ABC News:
More »
apologies
Jerry Lewis Wants All 'Illiterate Faggos' To Know He Was Just Joking
Having deemed Jerry Lewis's recent off-color remark about an "illiterate faggo" (he stopped himself before completing the final hard consonant) as being unacceptable televised-fundraising humor, self-appointed Voice of the Downtrodden Gay GLAAD demanded an apology from the comedian on their website. Lewis has since released the following statement:
"I apologize to anyone who was offended., I obviously made a bad choice of words. Everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard. In the family atmosphere of the telethon, I forget that not everyone knows me that well."More »
apologies
Julia Roberts' Womb Might Need A Better Publicist
On the occasion of the birth of her third child, we at Defamer would like to offer an apology to Julia Roberts, for we've been so consumed with one-time dabbler in biological reproduction Angelina Jolie's every orphan-collecting whim that we've allowed ourselves to fall tragically out of touch with the Most Powerful Womb in Hollywood, forgetting that Roberts was even pregnant. This oversight on our part is especially embarrassing, as Roberts, unlike Jolie, has never publicly commented on the overprivileged blobbiness of her "real" children or used the press to work through any complicated feelings about the difficult decision to choose her empty uterus over crowded Third World orphanages, a noble commitment to privacy that deserves far more media attention than it currently receives. We promise to do better with the next pregnancy, assiduously tracking it with our finest gigantic red arrows from the earliest Us Weekly baby-bump to eventual exclusive People announcement of its healthy birth weight. More »
apologies
A Contrite Sylvester Stallone Pleads Total Ignorance To Australian-Rules Bodybuilding
A Sydney court hearing addressing the small matter of the 48 vials of banned human growth hormone discovered on prime aged USDA beefcake Sylvester Stallone has elicited a mea culpa from the sexagenarean action star, reports the Sydney Morning Herald:More »
