Remembering Anthony Pellicano: The End is as Good as it Gets

And so it ends: The long local nightmare that was the Anthony Pellicano trial has ended with essentially the same whimpering inertia that marked its duration. Those early reports of Pellicano's convictions have fleshed out in the hours since: guilty as charged on 76 of 77 counts of racketeering, conspiracy, wiretapping, wire fraud and identity theft, yet acquitted of "a single count of unauthorized computer access," according to The New York Times. (His four co-defendants were convicted of racketeering and racketeering conspiracy.) Pellicano will be sentenced Sept. 24.

The LA Times's Carla Hall, meanwhile, has courtroom sketches:

BREAKING: Anthony Pellicano Convicted of Racketeering and Conspiracy

In perhaps the most anticlimactic ruling in the history of celebrity jurisprudence, disgraced Private Eye to the Stars and all-around not-nice guy Anthony Pellicano was this afternoon convicted of racketeering and conspiracy in federal court. The LA Times is reporting that additional verdicts are forthcoming for wiretapping; for the convictions so far, Pellicano faces up 10 years in prison. Though we think we can safely bet our homes on the remaining counts, we'll have something a little more official later on as word becomes available.

• Pellicano found guilty of racketeering and conspiracy [LAT]

Anthony Pellicano's Third-Person Courtroom Antics Reach Their Illogical Conclusion

Thank God that the threat of an Anthony Pellicano mistrial came and went without fruition; not only would we have faced the indignity of another star parade of scowling, snail-trailing movers and shakers filing to the witness stand, but we would have missed out on the performance art of Pellicano's closing argument, relayed second-hand today by tireless Huffington Post correspondent Allison Hope Weiner:

And then, there were his final comments to the jury—probably the most entertaining final close that I've ever heard. "Mr. Pellicano refuses to insult your intelligence," he said of himself. "Mr. Pellicano told you that the evidence will show what the evidence shows and it clearly does." ...

Mel Gibson To Don His Actor's Hat Once More

· Mel Gibson has signed on for his first acting job since Signs and We Were Soldiers back in 2002. In Edge of Darkness, a feature based on a BBC miniseries from the '80s, he'll play "a straitlaced police investigator whose activist daughter is killed, probably by the Jews." [Variety]
· Could one-half of the lusty network coupling responsible for siring struggling, bastard offspring The CW be missing their former identity? Warner Bros. just launched TheWB.com, where you can catch streamed episodes of old programming and newly launched online series. [Variety]

Possible Pellicano Mistrial Haunts Courtroom as Testimony Winds Down

Tears, Sneers Ensue as Anita Busch Faces Pellicano's Third Degree

Witness Michael Ovitz Gives Thanks For the Gift of Anthony Pellicano

Michael Ovitz hit the Pellicano witness stand this morning with a heart full of gratitude for his former private investigator, whose ongoing wiretapping trial became a state-sanctioned love-in as the ex-CAA/Disney/AMG boss recalled all the fun they had back in the day while paranoiacally destroying people's lives:

Talking about how difficult a time he was having selling his company AMG in May, 2002, Mr. Ovitz tried to elicit sympathy from the jury while he talked about using Mr. Pellicano to get "embarrassing information" on his enemies. "Yes, it was an extraordinarily difficult time for the company and for me," he said, looking pained by the memory. "There was all this negative press saying we had client problems and financial problems. There were morale problems as well."

Chris Rock Competes With HuffPo Journalist in Battle of Pellicano Trial Cameos

The salacious details of Chris Rock's model-smearing exploits with Anthony Pellicano were front-and-center at the disgraced PI's wiretapping trial this morning, when the comic took the stand for less than an hour. It was barely the most appealing Pellicano morsel in Variety today, in fact, with arguably the year's greatest headline — Weiner Gets Served in Pellicano Case — announcing the Huffington Post reporter Allison Hope Weiner's temporary restraining order yesterday outside the courtroom.

But first things first. Var reporter Diane Garrett only minutes ago broke the scoop that Chris Rock has a problem with cross-examination:

'Great Wall of Lawyers' Planned as Michael Ovitz Faces CAA Wrath

Rumblings from the inner sanctum of the CAA Death Star hint that co-pilots Kevin Huvane and Bryan Lourd are taking an early lunch today to plot an legal attack of wonderfully (if predictably) bloodthirsty ferocity. Their target: Who else? CAA emperor emeritus Michael Ovitz, whose misadventures with Anthony Pellicano upon returning to the agent game almost 10 years ago reportedly involved wiretapping the old joint for a not-so-subtle stab at talent poaching:

Pellicano himself fed speculation that the CAA partners suspected the shamus of bugging their offices last week when Huvane and Lourd testified at his trial. Acting as his own lawyer, Pellicano asked Huvane if he knew a private investigator named Richard Di Sabatino.

Would-Be Hitman Anthony Pellicano Just Wants His Offers To Kill Quoted Accurately

When Kenny Met Taarna

Defamer Exclusive: My Client Has Nothing To Hide, Says Bert Fields' Rep

We just got off the phone with Lonnie Soury, a rep for Greenberg Glusker Fields, who tells us there's nothing to HuffPo's report that Bert Fields would be taking the Fifth at the Pellicano trial. Soury tells us that "Bert has not talked to the government in five years," that he has "not been called as a witness," and that if he is, "he will testify. He won't be taking the Fifth. He has nothing to hide...That comes from Bert himself." Where, then, did HuffPo reporter Allison Hope Weiner get the idea that Fields would be taking the Fifth? According to Deadline Hollywood Daily's own "Extra! Extra! Bert Fields Has Nothing to Hide!" story, Assistant U.S. Attorney Daniel Saunders told the judge at a pre-trial hearing today that "one of our witnesses" would plead the Fifth. A Pellicano attorney asked who, and Saunders replied, "Bert Fields." Developing...

• Previously: Bert Fields Takes The Fifth! And Other Tales Of Pellicano Intrigue [Defamer]
• EXCLUSIVE! BERT FIELDS WILL TESTIFY (...And Won't Take The Fifth) [deadlinehollywooddaily.com]

Bert Fields Takes The Fifth! And Other Tales Of Pellicano Intrigue: UPDATE

A round-up of several delicious developments in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century:
· The biggest news by far is that the Scary Hollywood Lawyer at the center of this sordid affair, Bert Fields, has invoked the Fifth Amendment's protection against self-incrimination. Unfortunately for Fields, no amount of scarily worded cease-and-desists printed on firm letterhead and delivered by Krav Maga-trained assassin-couriers will serve to lessen the culpability implied by such a bold legal action. [HuffPo]
UPDATE: Bert Fields will not be taking the Fifth, and "has nothing to hide," a rep tells us.

Pellicano Shadow Hangs Over Reporter Whose Digging Started it All

Speaking as someone who once had his own life threatened by a fairly powerful, decidedly unhappy source, I particularly empathize today with Anita Busch, the former star trade reporter whose receipt of a dead fish, a rose and a note screaming "STOP" foisted the Anthony Pellicano investigation horror on an unwitting Hollywood nearly six years ago. Rapidly approaching her testimony date in the Pellicano trial, Busch granted a rare interview in a NY Times profile that is about the biggest bummer we've read since, well, maybe ever:

Ms. Busch's discovery of the tap on her phones, prosecutors say, led to another search of Mr. Pellicano's offices and a new phase of the investigation — one that metastasized into racketeering and other charges against him and more than a dozen accused co-conspirators.

Brad Grey Insists Under Oath That He Didn't Want To Know How The Pellicano Sausage Was Made

Now This Is More Like It: The Anthony Pellicano-Chris Rock Rape-Claim Tapes

Maybe this Anthony Pellicano trial isn't as hopelessly bereft of A-list manure-flinging as we had initially thought. Just a day after Garry Shandling's bitterly frank testimony about former manager Brad Grey—which so riled the Paramount Emperor that the planned The Love Guru ice cream social was cancelled with a company-wide e-mail instructing staffers to, "Go enjoy a cup of Garry Shandling's steaming, fudge-covered horseshit instead"—comes something even better: A tape, which prosecutors say was made by Pellicano and obtained by The Huffington Post, containing a 31-minute conversation between Chris Rock and the private investigator. Rock secured Pellicano's services after the then-separated comedian engaged in a brief fling with what he describes as "a girl with big tits and white pants" back in 1998, who then turned around and accused him of rape. (Interesting side note: He took her to a dinner party at Guy Oseary's house attended by Madonna and Elisabeth Shue!) The charges were ultimately found to be bogus, and were never officially filed.