Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen Encourage You To Try The Veal

Judd Apatow is the first to admit that he makes "dick movies with heart," and his latest project is no exception. It's a relationship saga set in the world of stand-up comedy, and as he explains, "It's not a big high-concept movie. It's hopefully going to be a very, very funny drama."

"But wait," you say. "I've already seen Punchline." Never mind that, jerky. This one stars Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen as the stand-ups, and they're preparing for their roles by anonymously performing in the comedy clubs of Los Angeles throughout the summer.

Israeli Takes on Panda in Long-Awaited Box-Office Bloodsport

Adam Sandler Wins MTV Award For Best Actor with A Movie Opening Next Week

MTV announced Wednesday that this weekend's Movie Awards show would recognize Adam Sandler as its Generation Award winner, apparently the highest accolade an actor can receive at the annual festivities. Don't call it synergy, though; such shameless dovetailing is the last thing on the network's mind, with Sandler's market-cornering man-child apparently towering over the imminent opening of You Don't Mess With the Zohan five days later:

He will receive the award for his "amazing contribution to Hollywood" and years of entertaining the network's young viewers, MTV announced Wednesday. ... "A 30-something water boy, a brokenhearted `80s wedding singer and a rejected hockey player-turned-pro golfer ... now that's an impressive resume," said Van Toffler, president of MTV Networks Music, Logo and Films Group, in a statement. Toffler was referring to Sandler's roles in The Waterboy, The Wedding Singer and Happy Gilmore.

Emmanuelle Chirqui's Topless Photo Shoot Lures LAPD's 'Areola' Squad

Though celebrities dropping trou for the glossies has proven both controversial in Miley Cyrus’ case, and “artsy” in Lindsay Lohan’s, both of these spreads were intelligently shot behind closed doors. But when GQ decided to photograph Entourage’s Emmanuelle Chirqui fully exposing her curves in the bright light of day, controversy didn't come by way of conservative media pundits. It arrived in the form of the LAPD’s official nudity-watch squad, who interrupted the shoot to get a closer look make sure all was okay on set. As Chirqui recalls, one pervy fed stepped in as art director and instructed the crew "Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?" See what all the fuss was about for yourself after the jump:

Brave Harvey Fierstein Refuses to Be Adam Sandler's Token Gay

Penis-Curious Adam Sandler Reunited With Former Roomie Judd Apatow

· Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen and Leslie Mann will star in "Untitled Apatow Manchild Project" for Universal and Sony, providing ample opportunity for former Apatow-roomie Sandler to glimpse his director's flaccid manhood. [Variety]
· Mila Kunis will play opposite Mark Wahlberg in Max Payne, the movie version of the pulp noir videogame. Sadly, lack of cheat-codes will prevent audiences from seeing her blow some guy's brains out completely naked. [Link NSFW!] [Variety]

Gay Austrian In Sherman Oaks Looks Suspiciously Like Sacha Baron Cohen

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how the sound of Mickey Rourke's loud snoring prevented you from getting any work done at the Santa Monica Public Library.

In today's episode: Sacha Baron Cohen; Adam Sandler and Richard Dreyfuss; Drew Barrymore; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Omar Epps, and Arye Gross; Hayden Christensen; Jason Schwartzman; Chad Faust; Kirstie Alley; Howie Mandel; Nick Nolte; Mickey Rourke; Heidi Klum and Kathleen Robertson; Dylan McDermott; Lauren Graham; Justin Long; Rob Corddry; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; David Boreanaz; Emily Deschanel and Zachary Quinto; Nicky Hilton, David and Jeff Katzenberg; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Danny Bonaduce; Brooke White; Monty Hall and Gary Owens.

Adam Sandler To The Rescue At Culver Ice Arena

Because we're all desperately in need of some stories of spiritual uplift this dismal holiday season, we offer you an eyewitness account from a highly placed Defamer operative of box office titan and "Hanukkah Song" troubadour Adam Sandler coming to the rescue of an injured woman in the parking lot of local skating rink:

A big sighting on Friday, December 7 @ the Culver Ice Arena, LA's most decrepit skating facility. The place was overrun with high school burnouts and geeks with nothing better to do. So, it was fitting then that Adam Sandler should show up with wife and small child in tow.

On The Road With Jeremy Piven's Steam-Powered Pussy Machine

· If anyone knows where we can pimp our gas-guzzling ride with the words "Clean Energy" along the sides in massive blue letters, we're all ears. We hear it's foolproof horny-starlet-bait. [via TMZ]
· Congratulations to Lindsay Lohan, whose first post-rehab gig appears to be selling $5 Polaroids of herself to tourists with the rest of the Chinese Theater Justice League!
· Is it a coincidence that on the day reports emerge that #1 Yahoo search topic Britney Spears failed to show up to her "Piece of Me" video shoot, MTV and Jive Records announce their Make Your Own 'Piece of Me' Video Contest? Wethinks not.
· We defy you to resist these photos of injured hedgehogs with brightly colored scrunchie casts.
· It's the first night of Hanukkah. Has linking to Adam Sandler's "The Hanukkah Song" become a cliché? Yes. Yes it has. Do we care? No. No we don't.

Britney Spears Gets A Stress-Reducing Rubdown

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted inner-monologue-addicted serial killer Dexter and his completely clueless sister munching on tortilla chips at Marix.

In today's spectacular episode: Britney Spears; Harrison Ford, Calista Flockhart, and Ellen Pompeo; Adam Sandler; Judd Apatow; Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley; Jeff Goldblum and Scott Caan; Ron Livingston, Michael C. Hall, and Jennifer Carpenter; Andy Richter; Joey McIntyre, Frankie Muniz, and Sela Ward; Nicole Richie; "Weird" Al Yankovic and Patton Oswalt; Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel; Hulk Hogan; Perry Farrell, Taylor Hawkins, Valerie Bertinelli, and Dennis Rodman; Eva Mendes; Dwight Yoakam; Xander Berkeley; Kate Flannery; Billy Bush; Amber Valletta; Lisa Ling and Giada De Laurentiis; and Bobby Lee.

Catching Up With Some Amply Endowed Celebrities

· Either Adam Sandler's next movie is about the Geico Caveman they call Hung Like Woolly Mammoth, or we have a whole new appreciation for the actor. Either way, he has our attention.
· "My mom and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: 'Please God, give me some breasts'. And he gave me them!" Yes he did, Salma. Yes he did.
· What feature is Renée Zellweger most proud of? Her unflappable sanity in the face of massive movie stardom. Just check out the screws on that girl—not a loose one in the bunch!
· David Letterman is reaching into his deep pockets to take care of his staff of stagehands, cameramen, and blank cue card holders.
· Looks like O.J. Simpson will be going to trial on "on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges," where he could face a life sentence with no parole in a prison full of amply endowed inmates.

Pushy Junket Reporter Ropes Adam Sandler Into The Gay Cause

Mexican audiences will be able to find out what all the bear-on-bear fireman fuss was about, as Los declaro marido y ... Larry—aka I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry—is finally getting a release there. (It rolled into Spain a few weeks ago, with the far catchier title Os Declaro Marido Y Marido, and an accompanying feeder-fetish website that hearkens to other classics of the genre.) In Mexico City to promote the opening, Adam Sandler appears to have fallen for the oldest wire reporter trick in the book—answering "Sure, why not?" to a seemingly innocuous but strategically phrased question, then waking up to headlines outlining your passionate commitment to fighting for gay rights:

Adam Sandler says he would like to work alongside gay-rights groups after starring in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."

Moviegoers Pronounce 'Chuck and Larry' Delightful, Fake-Gay Fun For the Whole Family!

Through the Darkness of yet another Monday morning comes the Light of hope: the weekend box office numbers:

1. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry—$34.775 million
At multiplexes all over the country, satisfied audiences have emerged from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the uplifting story of two firefighters who commit fraud to take advantage of domestic partner benefits, with a newfound tolerance for heterosexuals who pretend to be in committed, gay relationships for comedically expedient purposes. The telltale sign of those whose attitudes have been changed by the progressive work of Adam Sandler and sitcom bear Kevin James is the quick exchange of a same-sex kiss immediately followed by mutual right-crosses to the jaw, a display of affection that says to a cherished bro, "I would totally pretend to be gay for you if that resulted in the correction of an unjust, pension-related bureaucratic snafu! Especially if I got to bone Jessica Biel!"

From the moment Universal released the trailer for I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry—an edgier Adam Sandler vehicle in which he plays a fireman who comes to realize that his sexual and emotional needs can only be fully satisfied by the bear community—we were confident that the studio had not just a commercial and critical hit on their hands, but a watershed contribution to the Queer cinema canon. Shockingly, the nation's critics have completely missed the movie's point. What follows is a selection of headlines from today's reviews for this deeply misunderstood film, proving, at the very least, that not all of the marriage puns were used up trashing License to Wed:
· Adam Sandler Tops Himself with Chuck & Larry, Alas [palmbeachpost.com]
· 'Chuck and Larry' gay, not funny [StarTribune.com]
· 'Chuck & Larry' will lead you straight to exit [ABQTrib.com]

Masi Oka Next Likely Addressee Of Angry Open Letter From Part-Asian Actor Rob Schneider

Despite having received the GLAAD Squeal of Approval™, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has mostly underwhelmed critics, one of whom wrote, "[It] isn't just unfunny; it's racist, sexist and homophobic — and truly unpleasant to watch." (In fairness, we should mention that the Village Voice review declared it "as eloquent as Brokeback Mountain," and included the pull-quote ready, "This sodomite had a gay old time"— sure to become the centerpiece of the movie's print marketing campaign.) It's not just critics who find themselves offended, however: At a TCA week promotional party for NBC's fall slate, Heroes' teleporting office worker Masi Oka disapproved of Rob Schneider's turn as the fake-gay couple's slanty-eyed officiating officer. From the USA Today report:

Oka was less thrilled with the stereotypical Japanese character comedian Rob Schneider plays in the new Adam Sandler comedy feature, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, opening Friday.