Steve Martin And Diane Keaton To Bicker At A Cineplex Near You

· Paramount bought Steve Martin's pitch From Zero to Sixty, which legend has it he apparently sold with three words: "Steve. Diane. Lamborghinis."[Variety]
· Will & Grace star Megan Mullally returns to sitcomdom playing opposite Alicia Silverstone in ABC sitcom pilot Bad Mother's Handbook. [Variety]
· American Gladiators tanked in the ratings, leading the order, "Skimpier costumes! NOW!" to reverberate out of Ben Silverman's office. [THR]
· CBS gives that show with Christine in the title and How I Met Your Mother full-season pickups. [THR]
· ABC is only ordering two new series, including a final, 13-episode order for Boston Legal.

Shayne Lamas's Performance Of A Lifetime

It's A Network Pickup Orgy!

· Fox has picked up J.J. Abrams's Fringe, about a female FBI agent who "tackles unexplained medical and scientific phenomena," and Joss Whedon's Dollhouse, both for mid-season debuts meant to be bolstered by American Idol's return, an effect Fox internally refers to as "the Drunk-Paula Boost." [Variety]
· The CW makes it official: The Beverly Hills, 90210 spinoff is a go, with Jennie Garth reprising her role as Kelly Taylor. New York magazine will eventually go on to declare the series "mankind's greatest single achievement since the Wright brothers perfected human flight." [THR]
· ABC, meanwhile, has ordered "quirky sci-fi thriller" Life on Mars, a new animated series from Mike Judge called The Goode Family, and Ashton Kutcher reality show Opportunity Knocks. Unlike last year's Cavemen, none are based on an insurance commercial—though Allstate, a "drama with supernatural elements" starring Dennis Haysbert as a creepy guy who has a way of always showing up at highway accidents, is said to be a possible mid-season replacement. [Variety]

The Barbara Walters Next Door

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Craig Ferguson To Recall All The African-American Congressmen He's Bedded In Upcoming Memoir

· Craig Ferguson is writing his memoirs for HarperCollins, detailing his years as a "punk rocker, a dancer, a bouncer and a construction worker." Working title: The Village People in My Head: The Craig F. Story. [Variety]
· No strike talks are going to scare ABC away from casting their pilots: Morena Baccarin (Joss Whedon nerds know who she is) was cast as the lead in "untitled Dave Hemingson drama pilot," and Steve "Reba" Howey and Lee "Nothing You've Likely Seen" Thompson Young have jobs—for now—on comedy pilot Five Year Plan. [THR]

Katherine Heigl Seeks Escape From Doomed 'Grey's' In Search Of Big-Screen Stardom

Ugly Lindsay

Beyond being an early adopter of the Zipfur coat-sharing system that allows you to borrow an $11,000 mink, use it, then leave it for the next wearer at a designated drop-off point, Lindsay Lohan has been busier than ever with her various acting pursuits. Above, the first photos of her upcoming guest-starring appearance on ABC's Ugly Betty. The images hint at Betty's little-known past spent incarcerated in an all-girls' juvie hall.

I Believe In You And Meep: Celebrating The Bachelor's Amanda

Another 'Lost' Mystery: How Does The Island Affect Body Hair?

As everyone knows by now, watching Lost is akin to having Damon Lindelof mount a stepladder week in and week out, and proceed to engage in vigorous intercourse with the squishy contents of your skull. Last night's episode was no exception, offering us [spoiler alert] a flash-forward to Matthew Fox's Jack, who, in a shower-reveal scene reminiscent of a gender-reversed "Bobby's return" from Dallas, is shown to be living with Kate back home. This Jack, however, sported not the rabbi-envy-inducing beard teased in Season Three's finale. Now bear with us, if you will, as we tumble even further down the manscaping rabbit hole:

For Whom The SAG Strike Bell Tolls

Lavish Network Upfronts Enter Historic New 'Nickel-and-Dime' Era

'What Happens In Vegas' Meant To Elicit Laughter From Paying Audiences

· A bumper crop of comedies are set for release in the coming months, including Baby Mama, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Sex and the City, What Happens in Vegas, and Made of Honor, some of which could actually be classified as comedies! [Variety]
· An "intimate upfront...at Soho house" unveiled Oxygen's new tagline ("live out loud," whatever that means), as well as their new logo ("the black, lower-case 'oxygen' inside the yellow letter 'O,' which is tilted to one side"). Save it for your iVillage blog, Zucker. [Variety]

Dad Lorenzo Outs Shayne Lamas As The Reality TV Famewhore She Truly Is

Judy Greer Forced By Movie Producers To Dye Her Hair In Deference To Jennifer Aniston

Rob Thomas Finally Eclipses Rob Thomas

· En fuego producer Rob Thomas sells his third pilot of the season, this one to ABC. (He already sold them Cupid, and sold The CW the 90210 spinoff.) Based on a Kiwi show, Outrageous Fortune follows "matriarch of a family of criminals [who] decides it is time for her brood to go straight when her husband ends up in the clink for five years." Your move, Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas! [THR]· FremantleMedia is bringing Family Feud to primetime for the first time in its 30 year history, where it will air along with American Gladiators on NBC's "For The Love of All That is Holy, Just Pick Up A Book Already" summer programming block. [Variety]
· Elizabeth "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Banks has been cast as the First Lady in Oliver Stone's Bush. Stop your snickering! [THR]

Shayne Lamas Feels Her Hotness Should Exempt Her From Jumping Through The 'Bachelor' Hoops

Elisabeth Hasselbeck On The Subtle Differences Between PB&J Sandwiches and Cannibalism

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Was Oprah Winfrey's 'Big Give' A Big Ol' Rip-Off?