And—much like the gay-cowboy motif into its third month of YouTube mashups—just when you think you've snorted out your last nose-chuckle at the congenial flautist's antics, along comes one more to tickle your funny places. We offer as evidence the recent (OK, fine, it ran a week ago, but we're having trouble staying up past 9 p.m. lately) appearance of Betty White on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, in which she affected the guise of a speech writer for superannuated candidate John McCain. The money shot, of course, is her succinct assessment of his running mate—"That is one crazy bitch!"—before segueing into a lip-smacking meditation on the Democratic challenger that almost makes us wonder if the former Golden Girl hasn't been lingering in the far corners of Craigslist lately.

• Late Late Show [CBS]

WHAT'S NEW: Yesterday we broke down some of our problems with Body of Lies, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as a CIA operative entangled in the boilerplate "web of intrigue" when his sketchy boss (Russell Crowe) dispatches him to Jordan to zzzzzzzzz... Critics aren't behind it, and it's too late in the year for Warner Bros. to push this as anything more than the beach-reading it is. Which doesn't mean it can't finish in first place, of course — even though it won't. Beverly Hills Chihuahua will sprint out the stretch over Body's lumbering, wheezing frame, narrowly outgrossing Warners' $16 million for the week's biggest dogtrack upset.

Warners will do much better distributing RockNRolla for Guy Ritchie and Joel Silver on a smattering of screens in LA and New York before going wide on Halloween, but that's pocket change below Universal's football biopic The Express (should open strong around $15.2 million), the B-horror Quarantine ($11.9 million), the family adventure City of Ember ($6.6 million) and finally in wide release, Keira Knightley nifty bodice-ripper The Duchess ($5.2 million). Eagle Eye and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist will skim off everyone's top as well with a combined $16 million for the weekend.

Also opening: Mike Leigh's latest annoyance Happy-Go-Lucky; the quirky microbudget romance Good Dick; the gay family dramedy Breakfast With Scot; Daddy Yankee's gangland redemption saga Talento de Barrio; and the self-explanatory biopic Billy: The Early Years of Billy Graham.

THE BIG LOSER: Equipped as it is for international support and a long life on DVD and cable, $20 million is still the low end of studio expectations for Body of Lies. It won't come anywhere close.

THE UNDERDOG: We'll be the first to admit that Ashes of Time Redux — Hong Kong auteur Wong Kar-wai's revival of his 1994 martial arts epic — makes exactly no sense. Wong packs swordsmen, jilted lovers, defensive siblings and, naturally, Maggie Chueng into the parallel universe of the "jianghu," essentially a martial arts Middle Earth where vengeance seems to be the only thing more plentiful than primary colors. Luckily, Wong's legendary lenser Christopher Doyle is the guy with the camera; nonsense hasn't looked this good since David Lynch uncorked Eraserhead — itself the recent beneficiary of the kind of restoration that saved Ashes from certain doom in dilapidated warehouses around the Far East. Bigger Wong fans than we swear by this version; if we can trust them, so can you.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's slight new DVD releases include three different versions of You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Manoj's mint The Happening, last summer's sleeper hit The Visitor, the 30th-anniversary edition of Halloween, the 50th-anniversary edition of Touch of Evil, and the eagerly awaited second volume of The Smurfs: Season One.

So are we being too hard on Body of Lies? Can The Express or Quarantine pull an October surprise on an unwitting Chihuahua? Can anybody explain Ashes of Time in 50 words or less? Weigh in below; what's your weekend looking like?

· Jamie Foxx and pap-busting Spartan Gerard Butler will star in Law Abiding Citizen, appropriately enough about a regular Joe who takes the law into his own hands. [THR]
· The newly sovereign, India-based DreamWorks has decided to put off its big Wall Street pitch until the market decides to crawl back out of Satan's anus. [THR]
· Mark Burnett will produce an updated version of This Is Your Life, except every week it's going to be Donald Trump's life we're reliving. (And he'll never fail to act surprised.) [TV Week]

Perhaps the most notable M.I.A. gay is Ellen DeGeneres, who has sounded off about Prop 8 on the talk show circuit, but has yet to donate to the cause (though she did find time to host a fundraiser for the animal rights-advocating Prop 2). Other gay mafiosos like Portia DeRossi, Rosie O'Donnell, and Elton John are still nowhere to be found on the donations list, while behind-the-scenes gay talents like Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer are missing, too (for that matter, straight allies like Jay Leno and Julia Louis-Dreyfus have advocated against the proposition but have yet to put their money where their mouths are).

Their inaction comes after Tuesday's announcement that contrary to earlier reports, Proposition 8 is ahead in the polls and likely to pass next month, dealing a massive blow to the gay marriage cause. Backed by religious forces, the "Yes on 8" financial war chest has far exceeded that of the organizations working to defeat the proposition.

Ohio entrepreneur Jonathan Lewis has challenged Hollywood power players to donate, promising that he and his family will match the contributions dollar for dollar — though the only notable gay figure to donate since was Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner, who gave $15,000. Hey, Ellen? Pretend it's adorable puppies who can't get married. Got a dime to spare?

[Photo Credit: AP]

• T.R. Knight Answers No on 8's Plea for Money With $50,000 [The Advocate]

Billy Kemp, FremantleMedia North America's newly anointed VP of casting and talent, had an illustrious career in the '90s as an adult entertainment star and screenwriter under the name Jordan Young, starring and/or writing in a stream of all-male fantasy entertainments, including Nightwatch 2, Lost in Vegas, The Taking of Jake, and Hardcore. In a 1997 interview, he recalls his first scene:

“The night before,” Young says, “all I could think about was, once I step in front of that camera, I can’t take it back. I can’t buy back the film. There was nothing I could do. It was scary, but I knew that I would never be president,” he laughs, “so I did it.”

Perhaps not—but as we've learned this year, just about anyone can be a vice president! Kemp would eventually move into the mainstream as a reality casting exec on shows like Nanny 911, Temptation Island, and Elimidate. His bio on reality site Dreams N2 Reality omits his adult work, but does contain one interesting footnote:

When he finally made his move to sunny California, he had a chance meeting with a TV producer that led to his first job in “showbiz” as a researcher for Richard Simons where he was helping make deserving people’s dreams come true on “Richard Simmons’ Dream Maker.”

If you'd like to see Kemp/Young in action back in his porn-starring glory days, highly NSFW still #6 from Idol in the Sky is as good an example as any. It demonstrates the laser-beam intensity with which he approaches any given task—whether servicing an airplane mechanic, or weeding through a stack of headshots to find the perfect addition to Drew Carey's Beauties.

• Porn Star Interview: Jordan Young [vincentlambert.blogspot.com]
• Billy Kemp Bio [dreamsn2reality]
• Previously: America Tunes In To Smell What The Barack Is Cooking [Defamer]

• Sykes', Duff's "So Gay" Fight: The Videos! [Queerty]
• [thinkb4youspeak.com]

The New York Goes To Hollywood star says she's skeptical about the Dreamgirls actress' engagement to Harvard Law School grad David, who competed for Tiffany's affections on I Love New York 2 under the name Punk. "He's really loving being Mr. Jennifer Hudson. I think he's loving the lavish things she brings to his life, he's seeing the world due to Jennifer's success," Tiffany tells In Touch. "[But] can you love this person if they lose all of this tomorrow? She needs to find out. I just hope people are marrying each other for the right reasons."

Then, New York broke out the Star Jones/Al Reynolds comparisons and catty body image slams:

New York’s not optimistic about the couple’s future. “It’s a mixed match, it won’t work,” she says. “He’ll be in her shadow like Al Reynolds was to Star Jones, like Stedman Graham is to Oprah.” There’s also a good reason David wasn’t the right match for Tiffany on I Love New York 2. “When we were in Miami together, he didn’t even try anything [on me]!” she says. “Maybe I wasn’t his type, maybe I wasn’t big enough for him.”

New York, save your misapplied aggression for the crafts-services table. As Oscar and American Idol royalty, Jennifer Hudson is not to be messed with — she's got the gays (mostly) and the U.N. at her disposal!

• In Touch Weekly

No on 8! No on 8! No on 8! C'mon! Go to some of the events after the jump and chant along with us!

· Jackson Browne at Amoeba Music

· Doug Benson's I Love Movies at UCB

· Open Mic at the Hollywood Improv

*That was the one when we first realized this girl's a prodigy.

Some stuff to do after the jump, if you can emerge from your comforter igloo:

· Charlie Horse EP Launch Party at Hotel Cafe

· Liz Phair at the Troubadour

· Naomi Wolfe at the Los Angeles Central Library

You'd think with all of the important events going on in the world, there would be plenty to fill up the pages of America's newspapers, websites and blogs without the need for information on the private lives of the country's singers and entertainers. But, alas, thats never the case. In fact for the last five years, I've found what seems to have been an inordinate amount of interest (not from the public, but from the media) in my own personal life. The questions never seemed to stop.

...So, in the hopes of being able to sing and act (and dance poorly) and do what I love to do for a living while raising my son in a hopefully more private and accepting environment, I chose to go ahead and confront things head on. Yes, I would have preferred to separate my personal life from my professional life. I would have been just as happy to go on without discussing my orientation. But, it seems like that was not an option. Make no mistake, its not because I am ashamed. No, not for a minute. I haven't always been as comfortable as I am now, but I am without a doubt, proud of who I am and make no apologies for it.

...There are plenty of you who have anticipated this blog in hopes that I would "set the record straight" or "admit to lying for five years and apologize for it". For that small group of people, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decisions over the past five years have been made with lots of deliberation and at times even heartache. Always with concern for folks who might feel mislead. Don't doubt that. But they have also been made as an attempt, not to hide my true self, but instead to allow myself the same liberties and rights that every single gay man and woman in the world should have... the right to determine for myself when I was ready to discuss my personal life. In as much as that, at times, was interpreted as misrepresentation, I feel badly. But I reserved that right for myself and I can't say I regret it.

We have to admit that before the recent revelations, we'd thought of Clay Aiken mostly as a closeted song torturer. Now, though, he has conducted his coming-out press tour with grace and good humor, and we're forced to reevaluate our take on Aiken: he is polite, pragmatic, just a little bit sassy, and a terrible, terrible singer of bad music. Movin' on up, Clay!

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Clay Blogged - 10-3-08 [Idol Forums]

To bolster his point that worries about cheats are realistic, he cited an unusual source: "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry," an Adam Sandler movie about two firemen in Brooklyn who pretend they are gay so they can get domestic partner benefits. "The subject was . . . insurance fraud," Weizmann said. "This is not farfetched."

That really upset proponents of the bill, who said they were astounded by Weizmann's comment. "It is an insult to suggest there is any added likelihood of fraud from LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender] employees," Leonard Hirsch, Federal GLOBE president, said in a telephone interview. "Currently, the proposed legislation mandates a higher level of certification for LGBT benefit enrollment than for heterosexual employees."

It certainly is an insult to suggest that anyone could draw inspiration from Chuck & Larry. Have we seen an uptick in caricatured Asian priests since the film's release, for example? Do more attorneys now strip down to their lingerie and plead with their handsy clients to "feel these"? If people truly are copycatting Chuck & Larry, prefer they could draw their inspiration from the best part of the film and end themselves after 115 excruciating minutes.

• Benefits for Same-Sex Partners Focus of Senate Hearing [Washington Post via Videogum]

Chace is cheerfully reeling off the indictments against him. "Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface.' So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface."

Somewhere, we hear America Ferrera rolling her eyes! We ask you, could a unicorn overcome its horn? Could a sun overcome its shine? Chace, kiddo, it's that "gayface" that got you where you are today. You don't disown it. You pull an American Eagle cap down over it, take it to Splash, and use it to rake in free appletinis until the bartender shouts "Last call!"

• OMFG! IT'S THE GOSSIP BOYS! [Details]

A judge has granted NBC Universal a preliminary injunction that prevents the Weinstein Co. from moving Project Runway from NBCU-owned Bravo to Lifetime next year.

"NBC Universal is pleased that the court granted our motion for a preliminary injunction against The Weinstein Company," the media powerhouse said in a statement.

"The overwhelming evidence demonstrated that The Weinstein Company violated NBC Universal's right of first refusal to future cycles of Project Runway. After hearing all of the evidence, the court issued an order prohibiting The Weinstein Company from taking the show or any spin-off to Lifetime."

There has been no word yet from the brothers Weinstein, who have stood by the legitimacy of their actions, while NBCU insisted that the producers were contractually obligated to give Bravo right of refusal before shopping the show to other networks.

Will this be a "make it work" moment for Harvey Weinstein, or will Season 6's first casualty be the footage already shot for Lifetime? One thing is for sure: this story's already got more wrinkles than the crotch of a pair of Kenley-made pants.

• Denied! Bravo Prevents Project Runway Takeoff [E!]

· Atmosphere at the Wiltern.
· Megapuss at the Troubadour.
· Digital LA - Digital Drinks at the Roosevelt.

Have you ever experimented with a woman?
Yes, I had my rite of passage. I was 16, and I wasn’t really in control of the situation, if you know what I mean. It was much more about a male fantasy of seeing two women together. But I loved the girl a lot; she was one of my closest friends. I think falling in love is actually more about falling in love with an individual. We’re all potentially bisexual; it all depends on your circle, your upbringing, and all kinds of things. Or maybe I’m just talking about myself. I could’ve easily fallen in love with a woman over a man. My husband Ol’s kind of a man-woman. Look, I once loved Tim Curry, so there you go.

Upon reading Newton's interview, Oliver Stone immediately scheduled reshoots for an elaborate lesbian dream sequence to accompany George W. Bush's 2002 preztel-choking incident. "Laura, Condi, why don't you root out each other's infidels. No, I'm just gonna hang back. I'm the Decider."

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Big Gay Following [The Advocate]

strollynn63: This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope its a dream.

More reactions from The Clayboard, after the jump:

Holmes24: please tell me I'm not the only one who is shocked beyond belief! I feel numb I'm so upset. This can't be real!! How can you guys say this won't change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don't even know what to think right now. :-(

strollynn63: I have worked with many gays, the nature of the hairdressing business... LET ME SAY THAT I'M STILL A FAN OF HIS VOICE.....NOT SO MUCH A FAN OF HIS....CHOICE....

Some Claymates are coping with the news by predicting an elaborate conspiracy:

CLAYGAL: I don't understand the timing of all this information, or supposed information. I'm not making any assumptions until I actually see credible information . Is that actually Parker in the photo? Some of my friends think the baby looks older than a child a month old.

While others, slowly, are coming to terms with the shock:

love OMC: I had my hard time with it after the Diane Sawyer interview of 2006. I was ill over it. Then I went into denial. However, this time out (as it were), I am accepting.

Claymd4evr: My daughter called me at work today to tell me the news - I admit I cried a little...Because I strongly believed Clay was probably gay and I wanted to understand & love him better, I attended a gay & lesbian ministry workshop at a religious education conference.

Claybe 2: Why is it that the good looking ones are gay?

JNLPrecious Clay: All I know is that I love Clay, and I could never leave him. I still think he is a sexy gorgeous hunk of man, and nothing is going to change that.

While we worry that angry hairdresser "strollynn63" will take the news out on her innocent colorist Alberto, we hope that for the rest of the ClayNation, peace and acceptance will soon be close at hand. Yes, some embittered fans may defect to Aiken rival Ruben Studdard, but upon their shocking arrival at Studdard's tumbleweed-strewn message board (last message, May 2005: "Discuss Ruben's Cameo on 8 Simple Rules"), we have a feeling they'll be back.

• Upcoming People Magazine Cover and Article - PLS READ [The Clayboard, via Dave Holmes]

Is it possible that Hef is losing his mojo? That women find his wrinkly skin and thinning hair unattractive? That they enjoy the company of a man who doesn’t always feel the need to wear a smoking jacket? Surely these girls aren’t just pretending to like Hef as a publicity stunt while they build up their careers with reality shows and magazine appearances. That would be unconscionable.

It’s a sad day in Holmby Hills when a man can’t find true love and happiness with three blond women less than half his age. But does that mean its time for Hef to stop having sex and start drinking prune juice and watching Matlock? Nah. There’s probably an 18-year-old fresh off the bus from Iowa swimming in the Grotto right now. And as long as Hef has Viagra coursing through his veins, he will make her his new girl next door.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• HUGH HEFNER'S CRUMBLING HAREM [NY Post]

Aiken says he expects the news may overwhelm some of his fans. "Whether it be having a child out of wedlock, or whether it be simply being a homosexual, it's going to be a lot," said Aiken, who returned to Broadway last week as Sir Robin in Monty Python's Spamalot.

He adds that he hopes his fans "know that I've never intended to lie to anybody at all. ... But if they leave, I don't want them to leave hating me."

...As for his own child, Aiken tells PEOPLE that Parker – who was conceived via in vitro fertilization with his best friend, music producer Jaymes Foster – will be raised in an environment that is "accepting and allowing him to be happy."

Says Aiken: "I have no idea if he'll be gay or straight. It's not something I'll have anything to do with, or that he'll have anything to do with. It's already probably up inside the code there ... No matter what the situation you're in, if you're raised in a loving environment, that's the most important thing."

We can only hope that Aiken's dedicated fans can overcome their devastation to realize that though they may never be Mrs. Clayton Holmes Grissom Aiken, neither will any other woman. Eventually, when Aiken finds love with a Tennessee personal trainer who then goes on to sell his story for $50,000 and photo refusal to InTouch Weekly, Aiken will need each and every one of you. Be there for him, won't you?

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Clay Aiken: I'm a Gay Dad [People]

The latest installment also includes Kate Winslet, Denzel Washington, Shenae Grimes, James Cromwell, Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, Whitney Port, Anton Yelchin, T.R. Knight and more.

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17

I spotted RYAN GOSLING at the Hotel Cafe last week catching a show by singer AUDRA MAE. He was with a bunch of scruffy dudes - sans Rachel McAdams! Ladies, there may still be hope for us all. He looked super thin and was rocking some stubble. Stayed and hung out after the show until some drunk chick vomited all over the bar, at which point he promptly beelined for the door.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 18

Just returned from the new Big Wang's in West Hollywood where KEVIN FEDERLINE was holding court around the pool table. The group that he was with was way too exited to be in a NoHo bar with KFed. Lots of hooting and cheering every time he made a shot.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 19

Saw super talented and delicious HGTV's Next Design Star runner-up MATT LOCKE at the Sound of Music sing-along. Insert joke about hammering hard wood here. Snicker snicker.

I'm walking up Flower street in Downtown LA around noon today walking towards The Standard when all of a sudden TIM GUNN walks out. He looks great, if not incognito. In hindsight I should have asked him to say "holla at ya boy."

Right now. A very blond KATE WINSLET in first-class on AA 180 from LAX to JFK.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

I spotted the USS Enterprise crew member ANTON YELCHIN in Van Nuys on Saturday night at a party at Beer City Studios. He was supporting a friend's band on harmonica and guitar. Much later in the evening, he serenaded the remaining party goers with an 8-minute, improvisational story song about his experience with a "MILF."

Also spotted at the party that night was SAM GOLZARI from American Dreamz and 21. He was playing with his band at the party and, needless to say, we were all "Omerized."

While eating excellent pizza at Tomato Pie on Melrose, SHENAE GRIMES from 90210 walked past me twice. Petite, cute and NOT ANOREXIC!!!! no matter what the tabloids or the L.A. Times claim. Five minutes later, same place, spotted JAMES CROMWELL with his wife/girlfriend and an unexpected big smile on his face.

The MTV Awards may be just a memory now, but on Saturday I actually saw JESSE CAMP, live and in person outside of Cheetah’s. He was accompanied by his wife, and looks pretty much exactly the same as when he won that contest years ago.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 21

On Griffith Park Blvd. at the intersection with Los Feliz Blvd. Was waiting for the traffic lights to change, and just glanced in the rear view to check my hotness, and who do I see pulled up to my bumper, baby? None other than delish-o-gay, T.R. KNIGHT. Was at the wheel of his champagne, metallic SUV (not too big). I knew he lived nearby and it was only a matter of time... Was using his cellphone as he drove. Bad man. Needs bottom spanked. Matter of time...

At the Aero Theater for a sneak peek of Choke - LAURA INNES (redhead doc from ER) sat just across the aisle from me — she laughed in all good spots, stayed for the Q&A with director CLARK GREGG, looked nice and normal and had no attitude (unlike some other people who flipped their lids over the no-camera rule); also JON FAVREAU was there to support Gregg — someone asked a question about Iron Man 2 and they had a laugh, Favs hung out for a bit and talked to all sorts of fans who were surprised to see him, another no-attitude celeb.

MONDAY, SEPT. 22

At BLT Steak: WHITNEY PORT and five others sat at the table next to us, which was fine, she's pretty and all and her manager or whatever wasn't too annoying. But, as we were walking out I noticed DENZEL WASHINGTON sitting in a corner. I feel like he smiled at me when I smiled at him. He is way sexy.

Spotted KEVIN BACON and KYRA SEDGWICK in the parking lot at the southwest corner of Ventura and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks at noon today. They were walking to their light blue Prius and looked young, cute, and fit. Seriously. At first I thought it couldn't be them, because who is that cute young blonde ponytailed girl? But sure enough, it was Kyra (no mistaking that face). At one point Kevin put his arm around her and they kissed. Genuinely looked like the real deal.

The content of the article has not yet been released, but some hints can be gleaned about his long-anticipated confession from the Aiken quote teased on the cover: "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things." Kudos, Clay! Now where's your donation? [HuffPo]

I am being accused of sexually objectifying Sarah Palin, and I did it because I think it is funny – mostly because she is anti-gay, and would like people like me to be sent to a camp where we can study the bible with other gays and lesbians and have electrodes placed on our privates until we are forced to become heterosexual – like her and um, Track. So I said I would like to do rude things to her, because frankly, I like pussy, and I am not giving it up anytime soon – no matter what the "Christians" have to say about it.

More Cho, after the jump:

Gay sex is monumentally more fun than straight sex. God made it that way, so we would stay gay! He wants us to persevere! Stay strong!! Gay sex is better than straight sex. Sorry, it just is – I should know – I have liberal amounts of both. And Sarah Palin is missing out.

However, I do feel the misogyny against Palin – you would have to be blind not to see it. The interview with Charlie Gibson was where I felt it most acutely. Gibson had such contempt for her – of course due to her inexperience and utter inability to answer any question properly and saying the word "nucular" – but I feel if she were a man, he wouldn't have had as much hatred in his eyes. The last idiotic VP – Dan Quayle – was met with a certain amount of criticism, but it was nothing compared to what Palin has had to face, and will continue to face.

I am certainly not defending Palin – because make no mistake – she is the ultimate misogynist. She is a woman hater in the extreme. To force women to have children against their will, to deny abortion rights EVEN in cases of incest and rape is abominable. She is an insult to feminism, a sickening example what a woman will do to other women in order to please men and further her own career. Women do shit like that to other women to keep them down – to make their achievement seem more extraordinary – to keep women out of their way, so they can enjoy all the power and the men themselves, and that stuff makes them worse than sexist men. It is worse to be a traitor than a perpetrator. That she made rape victims pay for their own forensic exams shows that she believes that women somehow deserved to be raped – that it is our fault, just like unplanned pregnancy, just like being victimized by men – or women like her. She acts like all women are wearing a miniskirt and are asking for it. So fuck her.

...Literally! At this rate, we expect the Cho/Palin rhetoric to become so inflamed that by November 5, Cho's Myspace blog will be populated with bukkake-filled fever dreams and Palin photoshops that place the candidate at the scene of the Titanic sinking, the Nuremberg rallies, and Britney Spears's disastrous performance at the VMAs last year. Either that, or Palin will have Cho's blog fired.

[Photo Credit: Austin Young]

• Regarding Palin [Myspace]

Also missing (as of Sept. 10) from the rolls were: Rosie O’Donnell, whose Feb. 27, 2004, marriage to Kelli Carpenter was nullified; Sir Elton John, who tied the civil partnership knot with partner David Furnish in England; rock star Melissa Etheridge, whose domestic partnership/wedding to actress Tammy Lynn Michaels Sept. 22, 2003, was celebrated in In Style magazine.

Other producers and directors not on the list include Paul Colichman (here!TV) Greg Berlanti (Brothers & Sisters), Marc Cherry (Desperate Housewives), Bryan Singer (Superman Returns), Joel Schumacher (Batman & Robin), and Gus Van Sant, though Bruce Cohen, who produced Milk, directed by Van Sant, was recently married and did contribute. Max Muchnick (Will & Grace) also contributed, as did David Geffen, partner in DreamWorks, who gave $50,000, and Bryan Lourd, managing partner of Creative Artists Agency who contributed $5,000.

Since when did Hollywood's gay mafia become so recalcitrant? Pony up, ladies and gentlemen, or risk a lifetime of whispered insults and cold, Abercrombie-clad shoulders next time you stop at the Abbey for an innocent, politically agnostic mojito.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw donate big to stop California's marriage initiative [LAT]

• Mega A-Gays Missing in Fight Against Prop 8 [In]

Our spies on the set tell us Miley has bragged that she will get fired, making it clear she wants to focus on singing and not the show. For his part, Billy Ray has also made it clear that there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show. As a result, the father-daughter team has been showing up to the set ridiculously late, stalling production and infuriating cast and crew.

Emily Osment, who plays Lilly Truscott, used to be extremely tight with Miley. Now we're told Emily is so bitter she literally turns away from Miley after each scene. We're told Emily's dad got in a screaming match with Billy Ray, complaining he and Miley were unprofessional.

Sources tell us Billy Ray has told people on the set that he and Miley will do 12 more episodes and then they are out. Disney was so pissed they called his agent, railing that Billy Ray and Miley were ingrates. Disney insisted that Billy Ray and Miley not only finish the 24 episode season — but Disney was adding six more episodes.

Cyrus denies the report, telling People that she is "fully committed" to Hannah Montana, but Disney is no doubt buzzing over the rumors. Be careful, Miley: though a career outside Disney may seem enticing, that Toluca Lake waitress who bears a striking, saddened resemblance to a certain ex-Lizzie McGuire star may have a few regretful words on the subject.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Disney to Miley: Face the Music or Else! [TMZ]

• Miley Cyrus 'Fully Committed to Hannah Montana' [People]

George Michael was arrested in London Friday after being discovered with what police term say were Class A and a Class C drugs, according to reports Sunday.

The singer, 45, was cautioned and has not been charged.

A Scotland Yard press spokesman says, "A 45-year-old man male was arrested on Sept. 19 in the Hampstead Heath area on suspicion of the possession of drugs."

...While the spokesman also would not identify the type of drugs, reports have said that they included crack cocaine, which is termed a Class A drug in the U.K.

The reports say that Michael, who lives nearby with his long-term partner Kenny Goss, was arrested at an underground public men's room.

This is not the singer's first Hampstead Heath embarassment — in 2006, he was caught cruising the park for an after-hours father figure. Perhaps Michael could benefit from adding a new location to his bag of tricks? (No, not that kind of "tricks.") We hear David Duchovny has a great Arizona vacation home...

[Photo Credit: AP]

• George Michael Arrested in London [People]

BRAVO is about to lose another winning show to the competition. On the heels of "Project Runway's" being ripped to Lifetime, insiders are buzzing that Kathy Griffin might take her "Life on the D-List" and comedy specials to a greener pasture. "Other networks are aggressively pursuing Kathy for a multitiered deal, which would include hosting a late-night talk show, award shows, and continuing her reality show and comedy specials," a well-placed source dished. Griffin's rep had "no comment," but our tipster said to keep an eye out for Griffin's post-Emmy announcement.

While Runway's move to Lifetime was unlikely, it still made a certain amount of sense; after all, we've been told that women love fashion. For Griffin, though, it's hard to imagine a channel that's a better fit for her sensibility than Bravo, and since the station is part of the NBC/Universal umbrella, we'd think that would offer her some of the biggest possible venues for talk and award show offshoots. Is the Page Six item simply the negotiations ploy Griffin hinted she was ready for in our interview with her, or should we expect her to soon wade into the testosterone-soaked waters of Comedy Central (or — best case scenario — end up as a Food Channel sidekick to Paula Deen)?

[Photo Credit: AP]

• GRIFFIN'S MOVE [NY Post]

WHAT'S NEW: The first genuine Oscar-chasing release of the fall, The Duchess will likely split its viewership between pro- and anti-Keira Knightley factions before anyone bothers to acknowledge its broader, bodice-ripping appeal. So yes, Team Knightley: She deftly portrays Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, the late-18th-century heroine with the bitterly controlling husband (Ralph Fiennes), the rabble-rousing side dish (Dominic Cooper) and a surfeit of corsted, pre-feminist longing. The star and the film are beautiful, the direction assured and the awards-season creds affirmed — particularly Fiennes', whose customary wretchedness as the Duke acquires a kind of fascinating tenderness with age. If anyone should be on the Oscar bubble (besides the art and costume crew, which are locks), it's him.

Still, in limited release, Duchess isn't competing for any box-office glory; that distinction belongs to Lakeview Terrace, the not-entirely-miserable Neil LaBute thriller featuring Samuel L. Jackson as a sociopathic cop out to get the hot interracial couple next door (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington). Against sturdy holdovers (Burn After Reading, The Family That Preys) and middling newbies (the Dane Cook slog My Best Friend's Girl, Ricky Gervais's leading-man debut Ghost Town), Lakeview will top out at $15.6 million. Cook will follow with $13.2 million; with half the screens and even less promotion, Ghost Town should still manage an even $6 million.

Also opening: Ed Harris's old-old-school Western Appaloosa; Chris Smith's tiny, acclaimed Indian excursion The Pool; the gay-conversion melodrama Save Me; the wrenching immigrant day-in-the-life tale Take Out; and the Duchess-correcting, misogynist fantasia The Pink Conspiracy.

THE BIG LOSER: You know, after we just predicted the Weinsteins would once again find their step in the multiplex, trust in Harvey to not only dump another subpar animated fairy tale on an unsuspecting public, but to essentially disown it. Such is Igor's lot, with its backers AWOL, its reviews tepid, and its voice talent (John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Steve Buscemi) trapped in a Straight-to-Flopz™ patchwork about a hunchback pursuing his dream of becoming a mad scientist. MGM is left to collect the grosses for this one, which won't break $5 million on 2,300 screens. Or, as they call it at Weinstein HQ, business as usual.

THE UNDERDOG: As members of the privileged few to have seen Hounddog in its spectacularly atrocious Sundance '07 cut ("It was unfinished!", the director screams), we long doubted not only the film's release potential, but also the redeemability of those souls who actually made it. But fair is fair, and while the reedited Hounddog remains the infamous Dakota Fanning Rape Movie — full of overripe Southern hokum comprising snakes, magical Negroes, Elvis worship and borderline inbreds — it has since obtained a sort of culty, gunpowder gloss embracing all of its wrecked potential. It's finally refined its badness enough to be good, even serviceable for at least an hour, with Fanning's vulnerability dynamically intact opposite the predatory, 'shine-swilling archetypes around her. Bonus points, however, to David Morse, whose full-retard debasement here must be seen to be believed.

FOR SHUT-INS: It's Celebrity Bomb Week among new DVD releases, including Mike Myers's stroppy folly The Love Guru; the Wachowski abortion Speed Racer; the Pacino pratfall 88 Minutes; Patrick Dempsey's rom-com Made of Honor; and at not-so-long last, the complete first season of Chuck. Aw, NBC — you shouldn't have! No, really. You shouldn't have.

So what's your Top 3? Is it a Keira weekend, or is Officer Sam pulling your ass over? And how's our math, anyway? Clear your calendars and call your shots — you're among friends here. Even you, Harvey!

WSJ: What effect did the success of "Brokeback Mountain" have on your writing life, if any?

Ms. Proulx: "Brokeback Mountain" has had little effect on my writing life, but is the source of constant irritation in my private life. There are countless people out there who think the story is open range to explore their fantasies and to correct what they see as an unbearably disappointing story. They constantly send ghastly manuscripts and pornish rewrites of the story to me, expecting me to reply with praise and applause for "fixing" the story. They certainly don't get the message that if you can't fix it you've got to stand it. Most of these "fix-it" tales have the character Ennis finding a husky boyfriend and living happily ever after, or discovering the character Jack is not really dead after all, or having the two men's children meet and marry, etc., etc. Nearly all of these remedial writers are men, and most of them begin, "I'm not gay but…." They do not understand the original story, they know nothing of copyright infringement—i.e., that the characters Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar are my intellectual property—and, beneath every mangled rewrite is the unspoken assumption that because they are men they can write this story better than a woman can. They have not a clue that the original "Brokeback Mountain" was part of a collection of stories about Wyoming exploring mores and myths. The general impression I get is that they are bouncing off the film, not the story. There's more, but that is enough, ok?

OK! We can see Proulx's point; after all, it somewhat dilutes the gist of the original story if a sequel just happens to involve Ennis Del Mar meeting the slain Jack Twist's identical twin (coincidentally, also gay!). When will the internet accept that Proulx's simple, elegant tale simply can't be done justice by a poorly written Livejournal follow-up? Instead, it needs a wildly ambitious, UFO-set pas a deux that takes the cowboys to an alien world where homosexuality is the norm and instead of farming sheep, you farm gleepdorps. Annie, rights are still available!

• Return to the Range [WSJ]

Baldwin had been trying to reach his daughter, then 11, but "she was off for spring break with her mother and her phone was turned off for 10 consecutive days ... This had gone on for years now and ... when the beep came, I snapped. [Levin] seemed to be that breed of tabloid creature that realized an almost sex