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Report: Britney Spears is abusing booze, food, and credit cards. Once we find out she's banging background dancers again, we'll know we've finally got the old Britney we know and love back. [The Scoop]


Another Britney Spears Bathroom Adventure

Please, don't be alarmed. Britney Spears' face is NOT twisted into a mask of indescribable suffering because she's in the thrall of a fiery attack of an STD that Kevin Federline "forgot" to tell her about—she's merely desperate to use the...


Britney Spears At A Medical Spa: White Trashy Pop Stars Are Just Like Us!

It takes something really special to get us to work on weekends. Dear readers, behold our definition of "really special."


Apparently Britney Spears is not having the greatest day at family court. This landed in our inbox: "When asked by an Extra reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, 'Eat...


Britney Spears' Marital Bliss, Frozen In Time Forever

Hey, when did Britney Spears get married? We have only the vaguest recollection of background dancing, illegitimate children, and buckets of the Colonel's finest. Her wedding photos have finally hit the internet, but the set is woefully...


Britney Spears Honored For Staged Incompetence

In what must be the most trying and unheralded period of Britney Spears's career yet, any sort of achievement—even topping a UKTV Gold poll honoring the "most embarrassing dance sequence of all time"—must come as welcome news. Surely...


Barefoot Britney Spears Strikes Again

The Germans really did say it best: Britney Spears' bizarre insistence on padding barefoot through the world's public restrooms is "mercilessly unhygenic." This time, she's added bad manners to her white-trash repertoire, refusing to wait her...


The Britney Spears Balcony Nipple Extravaganza

Britney Spears may have finally learned her lesson about wearing shoes in public bathrooms, but she's still deliciously slow on the uptake when it comes to realizing that paparazzi cameras are constantly trained on her balcony. Now that these...


Associated Press Scoops Reuters In Breathtaking Race To Complete Britney Spears Obituary

Never content to rest on their laurels, it appears that the Associated Press has put the final, Strunk & White approved flourishes on their obituary for pop princess Britney Spears. No, you didn't miss anything — Britney is still alive....


Britney Spears May Procreate, Part II

Rumors that Britney Spears is indeed incubating the Baby of Truth in her popstar womb are still flying, and not even publicist/human denial machine Leslie Sloane Zelnick can shoot them down. She meekly offers Page Six a defeated "I don't know"...


Britney Spears Pregnant By Her True Love

A lone voice from the Desert of Truth that is the anonymous Craiglist post, a Britney Spears pregnancy rumor we can all believe in: