Defamer

The Clip Show

Make History

· We reviewed the landmark faces of SNL past, present and (hopefully not) future.
· Indiana Jones was raped. For real this time.
· Nick Nolte's Malibu manse burned to the ground; the actor survived, but Carboard Jesus wasn't so lucky.
· Where would you rather work: The agency with the gas pump, or the one where you'll be a second assistant's third assistant? Choose carefully.
· In case you haven't yet noticed, the travails of Elisabeth Hasselbeck make for great TV. Really, really great TV.
· If the fight over The Reader were a cutthroat sandlot game, Scott Rudin just took his ball and went home.
· Though Hugh Hefner was busted up for a while when Holly Madison rolled out of his round bed for good, he found a couple reasons to get over it.
· The No on 8 campaign rallied support from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, T.R. Knight and our own beloved Molly McAleer. That's so... never mind.
· Which recently upped TV exec got his start as a gay porn star? Give up?
· Hollywood isn't as recession-proof as it might think it is, but $54 million man Johnny Depp might get through it all right.
· Josh Brolin announced he will wear his low-voltage Taser-awareness ribbon to next year's Oscars.
· Setting aside her perfectly dreadful new song, Britney Spears's comeback is almost complete!
· Hey, look! We're on TV!
· Beverly Hills Chihuahua's yappy first weekend kept its conspiracy-minded conservative neighbors up all night Sunday plotting their payback.
· Bond girl. 12 fingers. That is all.

6:15 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By STV
586 views, Comment

Short Ends

A Visit To The Hot Dog Factory!

· We miss Wonder Showzen: "Raining meat. Just like my nightmares."
· Cloris Leachman's amazing year caps off with her appointment as Grand Marshal of the next Rose Parade. That's the power of Cloris 2!
· Austin Powers's deadly henchman Random Task has been booked in connection with a 1990 gang rape. The things he can do with that metal hat!
· Mr. and Miss J are getting a Top Model spinoff on The CW called Operation Fabulous, which you'll stay home to watch instead of trying out for the football team, crushing your father's dreams in the process.
· Strictly for the life-free: The Britney Spears "Womanizer" video will premiere at the end of 20/20 tonight. They're pushing it really hard. Hugh Downs must be rolling in his grave. (He's still alive? Oops.)
· Akinator is a genie that can guess any famous character you're thinking of, real or fictional, by asking you 20 questions. First we thought of Spock, and it got it. Then we tried to stump it with Anne of Green Gables. AND IT GOT IT.

6:01 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Seth
482 views, 2 comments

Latest by WGARefugee: I got your raining meat, right here: + Watch video more »

Doggone It: John McCain's plans to appear on Late Show with David Letterman appear to be falling through, but the bottom half of his ticket may have finally firmed up her own late-night gig. According to Cindy Adams, vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin will definitely be appearing on Saturday Night Live at the end of the month. "She has already OK'd it," Adams says confidently. "She's booked. It's confirmed. Done deal. Sketches are being sketched as we speak." Adams says we can expect Palin to cameo on the Oct. 25 episode and that her rehearsal time has already been penciled in for Friday the 24th. Nor word yet on whether Tina Fey has been booked to appear, but if she's too busy, might we suggest Betty White instead? [New York Post]

15 comments

Hollywood Privacywatch

Sharon Stone's Groceries Get the Glamour Treatment

After a couple of stellar installments spotlighting Kim Kardashian's bad driving and Ryan Gosling's puke aversions, we've been experiencing a bit of a drought on the PrivacyWatch front. And as much as we appreciate this week's contributions — from Sharon Stone's grocery adventures to Nick Nolte's post-traumatic mocha therapy — we have to say: We are thisclose to discontinuing this feature unless we get some motherfucking sightings up on this motherfucking plane. So! For what we hope isn't the last time: Hollywood PrivacyWatch is produced by Defamer readers for Defamer readers, so keep sending us your tips with "PrivacyWatch" "or "sightings" in the subject line. There's no "u" in "surveillance" for nothing.

Meanwhile, in addition to Ms. Stone and Mr. Nolte, this installment includes Miley Cyrus, Elijah Wood, Jerry O' Connell, Mario Lopez, Tom Cavanagh, Hank Azaria, Milo Ventimiglia, Joel Madden, and more. Onward!

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5:00 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By STV
2,559 views, 5 comments

Latest by raincoaster: Um. I saw somebody with an obvious facelift at Pacific Centre in Vancouver the other day. So that must have more »

To Do

Michelle Rodriguez Holds Vibrator Hostage!

So recidivist actress Michelle Rodriguez apparently held a vibrator hostage recently, and Molls—a longtime proponent of personal pleasuring devices and a Pleasure Chest Platinum MasterCard holder—has a lot to say on the subject. Have at it, Molls! And once you're done with that, here's some things to do for the weekend: More »

4:35 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Seth
1,252 views, 6 comments

Latest by uncle_wiggly: If I didn't have to go to work everyday maybe the postman would invite to pleasure toy parties. I didn't more »

Hollywood Strikewatch

Unruly WGA Mob Protest 'Project Runway' Rodeo Drive Shoot

A Defamer operative going about his daily Rodeo Drive chores let us know about a standoff that went down this morning between the forces of good (underpaid and undervalued reality show writer-producers) and evil (Heidi Klum, and anything—sorry Tim Gunn fans!—Heidi Klum-adjacent). He writes: More »

4:15 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Seth
2,266 views, 2 comments

Latest by unclevanya: Next time I walk by Parsons on my way home from work, I'll be able to crook a slight smile more »

Fighting words

David Letterman on the 'Squirrelly' John McCain: 'I Don't Trust Him'

As we watched David Letterman tear into John McCain with renewed vigor during last night's Late Show monologue, we couldn't help but think that this might make the rumored negotiations for McCain's reappearance a little awkward. Turns out, scheduling stipulations between the two camps had already turned contentious, as Letterman revealed when he sat down at his desk. Still, McCain's loss is Letterman's gain, because the talk show host gleefully continued to demolish McCain using some of his slyest, most cutting language yet. More »

3:50 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
3,801 views, 10 comments

Latest by MrRewrite: Yep, just checked, and McCain is old enough now to replace Ed McMahon and Cliff Robertson on their respective old more »

A Call To The Bullpen

Ben Kingsley Loves You And You

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Comments of the week

Our 'Commenters of the Week' Win Corner Table, Breadsticks

Comments of the Week! Last week, we brought you our new Friday feature honoring the five best comments of the last five days, and now we have an appropriate trophy that will make the singled-out few even more envied: A corner table at The Grill! On to the comments:

· rtisovec on Holly Madison Confirms She is The First Victim of Hef's Bedroom Downsizing Campaign: "Normally when young women want fame in Hollywood, they resort to posing nude. This girl clearly is out of options."

· Little Mintz Sunshine on Kim Kardashian On Her Breasts: They're Real, and They're Spectacularly Inappropriate: "Glendale face. Oakland booty."

More »

3:13 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
688 views, 6 comments

Latest by rtisovec: Just happy to be included as I am nowhere near either coast. My 2nd grade teacher was wrong, sarcasm does more »

Rape Sells! South Park beat George Lucas at his own pervy game Wednesday with its already-infamous "Indy rape" episode — the show's highest-rated fall premiere in nine years. Paradoxically, this must mean Indiana Jones 5 will be green-lit within the hour — probably at the end of that crisis meeting rumored to be unfolding today at Paramount. Sadly, bitterly, the cycle continues. [The Live Feed]

4 comments

Sibling Rivalries

Hef's 19-Year-Old Twins Also Enjoy Kicking Each Other In the Face

Almost overnight, the new season of The Girls Next Door has turned into a must-watch; first, we learned that Hugh Hefner had replaced his three bunnies with 19-year old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, then it was revealed that both girls had a criminal record stemming from a beer bottle attack on their Wing House coworker. However, even more twin malfeasance has now been revealed by TMZ: when not engaging in psuedo-incestuous relationships with each other, Karissa likes to kick Kristina in the face! Priceless details from the arrest report (filed Nov. 5 of last year), after the jump: More »

2:30 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
2,363 views, 12 comments

Latest by JudyPaceFace: They look way older than 19 more »

Defamer First Look

Your First Glimpse At Robert Downey Jr.'s Little Tramp Detective, Sherlock Holmes!

Here we have your first look at Robert Downey Jr. in Guy Ritchie's SherlocknRolla take on Sir Conan Doyle's classic creation. The director has apparently abandoned Holmes's iconic deerstalker cap, cloak, and pipe in favor of a bowler hat, stripey vest, and gigantic Starbucks beverage. ("No foam skim latte, my dear Watson!")

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2:10 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Seth
1,570 views, 4 comments

Latest by Mr. Ice: No, I think that's Paul Rudd. This whodunnit starring Paul Rudd is going to be hilarious! more »

Laissez Le Bon Temps Roullaaarrggh

Drunken Dialects of the South, With Your Guide Dennis Quaid

Dennis Quaid completed publicity rounds for The Express last night with a visit to Conan O'Brien, who veered a ways off the script with a shout-out to Quaid's sultry 1987 potboiler The Big Easy. We had forgotten until that moment how mesmerizingly awkward his New Orleans detective's bastardized Cajun accent was, but with the aid of his unfailing actor's recall and an apparent nip or eight of green-room white lightning, the one-time King of Mardi Gras stunned the audience silent with a garbled scat that makes his Express turn look cardboard in comparison. "That was kind of schizophrenic," concluded the rattled O'Brien. Sure — that's one word for it. [Late Night with Conan O'Brien] More »

1:40 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By STV
1,449 views, 7 comments

Latest by NotReadyForPrimeTime: To Franimal Jones: If by "betta" you mean less intelligible, then yes. more »

A Call To The Bullpen

Michael Clarke Duncan Is On Team Kenley!

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Feuds

Casualties Mount in Scott Rudin's 'Reader' Implosion

If the plot isn't exactly thickening today around Scott Rudin's exit from The Reader, it's at least sustaining a low, convoluted simmer. Still nobody knows for sure the specific reasons for Rudin's move beyond the obvious, routine desire to gut Harvey Weinstein with a letter opener, but looking forward, a few new clues suggest the Oscar-season bloodbath has a while before it's drained. More »

12:45 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By STV
1,385 views, 2 comments

Latest by el smrtmnky: gurrrrl... more »

Admissions

Alec Baldwin Also Not a Fan of Dane Cook's Vagina-Like Face

Back in August, comedian Dane Cook assailed the marketing job for his upcoming movie My Best Friend's Girl, claiming that it was the "best / funniest film" he'd ever made but that its quality was overshadowed by a photoshopped poster that left his face looking like "Brittany Spears' [sic] vagina." Then, the film actually came out, and critics treated Cook's vulva-tastic mug like it was the least of the rom-com's problems. Now, co-star Alec Baldwin is leaping into the fray, admitting on his official website that he'd rather watch My Name is Earl than have to sit through My Best Friend's Girl again: More »

12:35 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
2,666 views, 12 comments

Latest by whitiris: 50 points deducted for putting Forrest Gump in the same league as The Godfather and Annie Hall. more »

Defamer decides 2008

Betty White On Sarah Palin: 'That Is One Crazy Bitch!'

Are we sick of Sarah Palin jokes yet? Yes—yes we do believe we are, yet not since Brokeback Mountain has a single cultural phenomenon offered comedy writers (and ankle-shackled galley bloggers) such a bounty of low-hanging fruit. More »

12:16 PM on Fri Oct 10 2008
By Seth
8,718 views, 6 comments

Latest by LLH: i heart betty white. i heart craig more though! more »

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