n/a commented on David Blaine's 'A-Ha' Moment Comes After 17th Oxygen-Deprived Minute

"On an unrelated subject ."

n/a commented on Donny Osmond Celebrates Miley Cyrus's Influence by Seeing the Whole VF Thing Coming

"Teenagers are like art in a museum ."

n/a commented on Charlie Sheen Is A 'C. MaSheen' When It Comes To Hookers

"Remember back in the day when you could TRUST your madam? Integrity has just gone out the window! What's next?"

n/a commented on Rumored Tape Shows Angelina Jolie Snorting Heroin: 'Wow, This Is Really Good Smack'

"Are we headed for a future where EVERYTHING will be on tape?"

n/a commented on 'Hobbit' Director Debate Ignores Critical Fact that 'Hobbit' is Rubbish

"The joke in "The Princess Bride" (the novel) where the father is reading his son the "good parts version" so as to leave out all of the "boring historical fiction" is most likely a thinly veiled satire of a Tolkien book. The LOTR film trilogy is Peter Jackson's "good parts version" and really an addition to his catalogue of Zombie/Puppet horror films ."

n/a commented on By Sheer Coincidence, Tom Cruise's Son Lands Role In Will Smith's Next Movie

"Speaking of Tom Cruise ."

n/a commented on Steven Spielberg Mulls Canceling The Internet To Preserve An Unspoiled Moviegoing Experience

""A movie happens in a way that has always been cathartic, the personal, human catharsis of an audience in holy communion with an experience up on the screen." Finally, someone has put into words the feeling I had whilst viewing "Showgirls" for the first time!!!"

n/a commented on Anonymous Celebrity Seeking Personal Assistant to Get Directions, Wash Car, Chew Food...

"Would you people shut the f**k up?!!"

n/a commented on None-Too-Bitter CAA Rep Has Some Choice Parting Words of Advice For Robert De Niro

"If only Scorsese had never met Leo DiCaprio. How soon they forget ."

n/a commented on A Week Of False Terribles

"They should demolish the Hollywood sign and replace it with a gigantic billboard of the above four photos."

n/a commented on Which Young Actress (Cough, Ellen Page, Cough) Dared To Blow Off The Advances Of Jane Fonda?

"To summarize: Every Successful Woman, ever: Boring, Lesbian, No-Talent, Bitch. Hear that?"

n/a commented on Your Weekend To Do's

"Let's hope all Directors speaking at the Aero Theatre will be forced to wear a thong. I hear Francis Ford Coppola is next on the list!!!"

n/a commented on An Open Letter to P.T. Anderson on the Occasion of 'There Will Be Blood''s Miserable DVD Release

"Here is the "lost" commentary track -"Okay, Mr."

n/a commented on Katherine Heigl Doesn't Understand Why Any Guy, Gay Or Straight, Wouldn't Want Her

"If you are going to stand up for women's equality, I think you might want to avoid the phrase, "good-looking broads""

n/a commented on Ellen Page Mans Up On Leno, Forcing Jay To Actually Come Up With A Few Of His Own Jokes

"How awesome would it be to get stoned and go on Leno?!"

n/a commented on Philosophical Uwe Boll Suddenly Knows Why You Hate Him

"My little brother is going to be so disappointed when I tell him the shoot has been cancelled due to redundancy."

n/a commented on Reviled Uwe Boll Makes His Case As "The Only Genius In The Whole Fucking Business"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the next Governor of California - Uwe "Fucking Genius" Boll! I think he best represents the angry German hidden with-in us all ."

n/a commented on James Ellroy's Problem is That He's Too Good For Scarlett Johansson

"Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a Damn!"