Defamer
Mother Of The Century
Defamer Photo Essay
John Mayer And Josh Brolin Shear Their Locks, But Does A Buzz Cut Always Clean Up A Star's Image?
Ah, the buzz cut: that sometimes-risky, sometimes-successful ‘do usually sported by male celebrities when it's required for a role in a military/secret agent/futuristic film or because they need a quick way to change their public image. But no matter what their reasons are for taking the razor to the scalp, the look has roughly a 50/50 chance of working. Two of the most recent stars to shave it all off are Jennifer Aniston arm candy John Mayer and new member of the Movie Press-Generating Lawbreakers’ Club Josh Brolin, and while Mayer irritatingly manages to pull the look off despite his big
Peace Out
Woody Harrelson Vs. Kate Hudson: Why They Just Can't Get Along
Considering the free-lovin’, liberal personalities of two undergarments-fearing stars like Woody Harrelson and Kate Hudson, we were a bit surprised to hear rumors that Woody is “relieved” and happy now that Kate is out of BFF Owen Wilson’s love life for good. Janet Charlton is reporting that “Woody and Kate NEVER got along, but they put aside their differences for Owen...[Woody] never thought she was the right girl for him.” So why would these two hippie dippy celebs find it so hard to get along? After a bit of digging, we came up with three theories, from Woody’s big-screen debut alongside Goldie Hawn, to the skinny-dipper’s habit of setting Owen up with mystery blondes while he and Kate were still together: More »
Ups And Downs
The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Career Paths
Only three years ago, Blake Lively was just That Blonde Girl from The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, and America Ferrera was just the Token Dorky Sidekick. Alexis Bledel and Amber Tamblyn, on the other hand, were bonafide TV stars. My, how things have changed. With the film's sequel debuting next month, we take a look at how each of the leading ladies has done career-wise since the original racked up nearly $40MM at the box office in 2005. While there’s a bit of bad news for the original's biggest stars, there’s an alternate way of looking at this role reversal: any actress’ status as the perennial “buddy” can obviously change with one little show that could. More »
Mother Of The Century
Dina Lohan, Mother Of The Century: ‘Ali Is A Little Scared Because She’s Meeting Adults’
We don’t know whether to cry tears of sadness or sweet relief, but last night brought us the heartbreaking season finale of Dina Lohan’s dream come true: the Lindsay-free joy ride through the one of the most frightening TV family’s household that was Living Lohan. And despite all Dina’s efforts to convince us we should be happy for little 14-year old Ali and her double whammy of career success stories featured in this episode, the last few months have taught us that a role in the Troll remake and a single that makes our ears bleed do not necessarily a superstar make. But, as we’ve learned throughout the season, no matter how small these sad triumphs, if it weren’t for Dina and her never-ending flow of parental lessons, Ali would still just be some normal teenager allowed to go to the mall with friends and shop, instead of Dina's way of remaining the Mother Of The Century: More »
Bull Doodie
For First Time Ever, Lindsay Lohan Not Rushed To Hospital, Sam Ronson Not A Bitch
Just when things seemed to be coming up roses for Lindsay Lohan, none other than (surprise!) Mother of the Century Dina has jumped on the chance to turn two otherwise non-items into full-out scandals reminiscent of Lohan’s cokepants days. First, reports surfaced that her cigarette- and hickey-delivery girl Sam Ronson refused to play vocally challenged Ali Lohan’s new single at a DJ’ing gig last week because she felt the song was “really bad.” Not exactly breaking news, right? Thanks to Dina and Living Lohan, we already know anything Ali squeaks out won’t turn her into the next Whitney Houston (or even the next Lindsay). Then, over the weekend, TMZ reported that Lohan and Ronson were victims of a hit-and-run bicyclist while taking an innocent walk home after a night out in New York, ending with Lohan in the hospital. And so what? It’s not like Lohan was the hitter-and-runner, and any hospital stay without the phrases “asthma attack” or “fainting spell” attached to it is fine by us. But courtesy of both Michael Lohan and Dina's consistently yapping mouths, we will know have the pleasure of associating both stories with the phrase, “bull doodie”: More »
Underage Sex
Condom Company Recruits Miley Cyrus As Another Make-Out Session Is Caught On Camera
Astonishing as it is, Miley Cyrus — the little tween queen ofsexy “private” pictures that keep somehow keep becoming public — is currently at the center of three separate scandalous stories. Last week, the 15-year old Jesus-loving and shirt-eating mini-millionaire not only accidentally (of course!) found herself the victim of an iPhone hacker who published naughty wet t-shirt shower photos of her on the web, in addition to being the provacateur of a YouTube revenge video against Disney rival Selena Gomez. But there is so much more! Not only has Miley instructed her publicist to apologize for her role in said video, but the belly-baring icon of all young Christians has just been targeted as Lifestyles Condoms’ newest spokeswoman because a brand rep feels she’s “relatable to the afflicted set,” and another clever blogger has unveiled yet another borderline-scandalous series of photos featuring the husky-voiced star getting hot and heavy with yet another ex-boyfriend — and we can’t help noticing just how well-timed this particular “leak” is with regard to enemy Gomez’ recent hook-up to that man-boy in the middle of their rift, Nick Jonas: More »
Wear And Tear
Madonna Takes Needle To Gerard Butler's 'Little Bottom', Only Succeeds In Making Him 'Severely Ill'
Madonna broke into the public consciousness not because of her vocal talents, but because of her catchy tunes, dance fever, and suggestively nymphomaniac tendencies. But now, the nearly-50-year old has finally morphed into the modern day Britney Spears: she's forcing unwilling male stars to pull down their pants, she's making headlines mainly due to a messy divorce, rumored affairs and plastic surgery rumors. Just as the British tabs begin to accuse the failed director/actress of going under a very sharp knife, it seems as though the exercise addict has used her seduction technique of shooting B-12 shots into hunky acquaintances’ butts. But this time around, unlike the soaring success story that was Justin Timberlake’s energizing vitamin-equipped ass, her second attempt on quasi-ex-husband Guy Ritchie’s newest leading man, Gerard Butler, left the poor man’s Clive Owen “severely ill.” Butler’s tale of Madge’s terrorist attack on his “little bum,” plus the allegations being made about how the extremes the Yankee doodler’s “grueling” beauty regime have affected her oddly sharp cheekbones and “popping veins,” after the jump. More »
Vices
If It Weren't For Those Silly No-Smoking, No-Cursing Rules, Katherine Heigl Would Totally Go Mormon
Katherine Heigl has never failed to shock us, whether she’s yapping about her highly tuned gaydar or wearing dresses made out of The Darjeeling Limited's costume leftovers. But her latest comments on her childhood spent growing up Mormon suggest that, on top of burning Emasculated Husband Joshua Kelley’s pinky finger and forcing him to wait until the very second her biological clock beeps “Procreate!” to have kids, she may even make the poor guy raise said kids Big Love-style. As she recently told a British tab:“I'm not as disciplined about it was I once was, but I hope to find my way back as I get older and a little less selfish...I'm ashamed to say that I've just got very lazy about it. I satisfy my vices instead of fighting them.”More »
Lists
Why Keira Knightley’s Newest Rival Will Never Be ‘The Next’ Pout-y Princess
The Brits are always fond of reminding us of just how many stars they’ve discovered, sent our way, and watched dominate the last decade’s Best Actress Oscar pool. And Keira Knightley is certainly one of their most notable success stories. But as much as they love gushing over their own born-and-bred A-listers, whenever a newer, younger little Brit with potential comes along, they love yanking that shiny crown off the last pout-y superstar and placing it atop the unknown’s pretty-ish head. Which leads us to 16-year-old Georgia "The Next Kiera Knightley" Groome, the upcoming star of the irresistibly-titled Angus, Thongs, And Full-Frontal Snogging, hailed by The Daily Mail as Bridget Jones for teenagers. But after reading more about the film and its quirky dialogue (imagine a script co-written by Diablo Cody and Anthony Burgess), not to mention its leading lady’s disturbing ignorance on all things Johnny Depp-related, we came up with three reasons why Georgia will have a hard time filling Keira’s impossibly narrow shoes: More »
The Forest Belongs To Everyone
Brad Pitt To Bleeding Paparazzo: 'If You Want War, You Will Get It'
In the latest Pap Said / Celeb Said scandal, the mystical forests of Brangelina's French estate turned into a bloody battleground where one ruthless pap and the Jolie-Pitts’ head of security attacked each other with walkie-talkies and teeth. As the NY Daily News reports, freelance photographer Luc Goursolas was so determined to slip into the compound unnoticed that he spent five hours on foot, decked himself out in camouflaged clothing, only to come face-to-unhappy-face with the soccer team’s unamused top guard. As Goursolas claims:
”I was pouring blood. I threw myself at them, put blood all over them, and told them that I had HIV so they would stop hitting me...The forest belongs to everyone.”
But from the sound of it, Pitt disagreed so vehemently with this last statement that the actor underwent a Hulk-like transformation into Tyler Durden, and joined this fight club himself:
More »
You, Like, Hurt My Feelings And Stuff
Miley Cyrus Vs. Selena Gomez: 'Mean Girls' Comes To Life In 'Scheisty' Video Attack
We didn’t actually think she had it in her, but the world’s most rapidly maturing 15-year old, Miley Cyrus, is behaving like, well, a 15-year old for once. Just as reports surfaced that her rival in tween porn and Disney affection Selena Gomez may be dating Cyrus’ ex-boyfriend, we learn that the Battle Of The Tweens has been going on far longer than we thought. About a month ago, the wet t-shirt contestant decided to team up with her BFF and film a YouTube video mocking Selena and her partner in underage midriff-baring crime, Demi Lovato. Have we lost you? Not to worry! The only two things you really need to know before watching this oddly hilarious clip are: we’re slightly worried Miley has found her daddy’s liquor cabinet, and Demi Lovato is the next Demi Moore. More »
Go Bayside!
We're So Excited: Screech Set To Unveil The Sex And Drugs Behind The Scenes Of 'Saved By The Bell'
When we used to wake up in the mornin’ after the alarm gave out a warnin’, it was always alright ‘cuz we were Saved By The Bell. Yes, all you ‘80s-born kiddies, the show we embarrassingly grew up watching religiously despite the fact that catching a rerun these days makes us dry-heave, is in the headlines again. The frizzy-haired, unemployed trophy winner of the World’s Most Nauseating Sex Tape (that is, until Mini-Me stole the title), Dustin “Screech” Diamond, has given up on those comedy club circuit dreams and made the heroic decision to put his nose to the
The Chosen Ten
Chosen Two Outed As Test Tube Babies
Excellent news to report for anyone who still thinks Angelina Jolie is perfection incarnate, in spite of that silly husband-stealing fiasco, heroin tape, Billy Bob phase, Life Or Something Like It and...well, there are probably a few of you left! According to Us, the conception of the Chosen Two was quite literally chosen to arrive at a specific point in Brangelina’s magical life. A source tells the weekly that the “impatient” soccer team managers didn’t rely on Brad’s super-sperm or Jolie’s scream-filled bedroom style to spontaneously produce Knox and Viv. Rather, the no-longer-immortal duo paid a hefty sum for in vitro treatments to speed up their plan to “have 10 kids...while [they’re] young." But their goal may not work out quite as planned. Reports that Angelina is being forced into joining the trendy rapid weight loss/gain club for her next role may cause a serious delay in recruiting new Jolie-Pitts for quite some time. More »
When Sex Doesn't Sell
Why The Racy New Ad Campaign For 'Gossip Girl' Will Backfire
Gossip Girl, the show that the media can't stop gushing over despite the fact that nobody actually watches it or anything, has of course been renewed for a second season. And in an apparent attempt to lure the large audience of celeb voyeurs that's currently interested in the cast members' bi-curious antics off-screen than on, the sultry young things-obsessed marketing crew at the CW has released some "inappropriate" images from the second season’s ad campaign. Thanks to Miley Cyrus and her “scandalous” series of endless flesh-baring spreads, any photos featuring tweenyboppers practically banging each other or doing their best O-face are fine by us. But releasing racy promos like these is a practice long used by GG’s predecessors, and the sleazy plan relying on that old promise that Sex Sells has a history of backfiring in many a series’ pretty little sweat-drenched faces: More »
Careful What You Wish For...
Matthew 'Matty Cakes' Broderick Caught Red-Handed While Cheating, But Does SJP Really Care?
Unlike most adulterous celebrity scandals, the latest claim that Most Awkward On-Screen Sex Partner Matthew Broderick has pulled a Beckham / Phillippe / Hawke by getting involved in a long-term affair with a 25-year old redhead is actually filled to the brim with hilariously kinky details. The Star exclusive includes all sorts of juicy and slightly nauseating allegations, making Pat O’Brien’s “I want to fucking eat you!” sweet nothings seem tame in comparison. As sad as any remaining fans of Ferris may be to hear it, the mag’s sources claim newly mole-less SJP’s hubby is fond of popping ‘round his do-gooder mistress’ bedroom, darting out after 30 minutes, and leaving the girl “passed out on her bed in her panties.” But is this really so shocking? After the jump, we cover the many times Parker has hinted that the long-married couple has serious issues, from her comments that he’s always “secretly manipulating you,” to the time she confessed she just adores seeing him “have great chemistry” with other women: More »
You're Not Beautiful
Showbiz Has-Beens James Blunt and Gary Dourdan Enjoy An Excellent NSFW Adventure
How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus’ homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless
Tweens Gone Wild
