martini-shark commented on 'Juno' Star Jason Bateman On Massachusetts Teen Pregnancies: 'Uh, Not Our Fault!'

"One of the fertile-Myrtles up there was impregnated by a 24 year old homless guy."

martini-shark commented on Anna Nicole's Ex Buys Lingerie for Their One-Year-Old Daughter, A Nation Squirms

""No Danni, those panties don't have a hole in them, your Momma bought them that way."

martini-shark commented on PETA Wishes Olsen Twins A Very Hairy Happy Birthday

""It took me 2 years to grow my frocks to this level, but I'll gladly have them shorn to teach a lesson to a pair of billionaire twits who won't understand the message, because I want to make a difference!" If you really want to get their attention why not send them the wax strips from your Brazilian?"

martini-shark commented on Were Salma Hayek And Penelope Cruz High As Kites While Filming D.O.A. Comedy Caper?

"I got this film a while back and turned the sound off, leaving it to play on a loop for a few weeks."

martini-shark commented on Carnie Wilson's War Unlikely To Overthrow Any Soviet Regimes

"Those stills from "Bitch Slap" prove that you can still land yourself in the movies if you swing on a brass pole."

martini-shark commented on New Video Hints Mike Myers Less Than Two Weeks From Claiming America's Anti-Comedy Crown

"All you need to see is the elephant-sized pet carrier gag to get the gist of how craptacular this is going to be."

martini-shark commented on Newest Power Lesbian Couple In Town Give Lindsay And Sam A Run For Their Hickey

"I take it "lesbian chic" is starting to mean, "D-E list celebrities/reality "stars" getting more publicity than deserved because they toungue wrassle in public"."

martini-shark commented on Brangelina Enlists Tacky Psychic To Help Design Chosen Twins' Nursery

"Why not use the psychic for the benefit of the planet, guys?"

martini-shark commented on Anti-Smoking Advocates Warn of Encroaching 'Hulk' Nemesis 'Emphysema'

"So she is telling us that normally a green 12-foot tall mutated thyroid sufferer with anger issues who tosses tanks is believable???"

martini-shark commented on Burgeoning Power Player Jon Favreau Cockblocks Proposed 'Iron Man 2' Release Date

"Look for him going the career path of his "Swingers" bud Doug Liman; he directed the 1st "Bourne" and then cashed checks on the rest of the franchise as exec-producer."

martini-shark commented on Panicked Insiders Fear For Curveless, Merely 9-Stone Catherine Zeta-Jones

"If she dropped too much stone maybe she's been on the rock, (that's not to say The Rock)."

martini-shark commented on SAG The Alexis To AFTRA's Krystle

"After those numbers for the Stanley Cup Final studio execs are looking at the debut of MVP on the SoapNet - if they draw a crowd look for a jump to PrimeTime."

martini-shark commented on Explosive Behind-the Scenes Secrets of EW's Spoiler Article Revealed!

"I couldn't help myself and had to read the spoilers before getting the magazine."

martini-shark commented on Fake-Cancer Survivor Sharon Stone Still Paying Price For Controversial 'Karma Tectonics' Theory

"She drank so much coffee it gave her cancer ...and a 10 day purge cured her?"

martini-shark commented on Brittany Murphy Back Off The Pixie Dust

"If I clap my hands really fast maybe that will bring Brittany back to the production!"

martini-shark commented on Bad-Buzz Watch: M. Night Shyamalan Defaced; Deepak Chopra Stumps for 'Love Guru'

""The Happening" sounds like something conjured up by Disney's "Imagineers"."

martini-shark commented on Tatum O'Neal: 'The Dog Ate My Sobriety'

"All I have to say is when they make the River Phoenix biopic all the "research" will make the police blotter look like the guest list of the Vanity Fair Oscar party."

martini-shark commented on Film Prints Revealed to be Destroyed as Universal Continues Taking Stock

"Guess I can stop holding out hope for "Howard The Duck" on the Criterion Collection release."