"Step 1: Accomplish something so insanely difficult the likes of which may never be seen again.
Step 2: Feel free to get annoyed by another doing equivalent achievement after hearing about it for six days.
Step 3: Exfoliate.
Life's pretty simple when you don't have to swim all the f'in time."
"I dare anyone to tell me they would not make their way post-haste to Matt's house if he called up and said, "Hey man, we're just out here cookin' up some burgers and chillin'."
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