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Marketing

Run! 'Knocked Up' TV Marketing Campaign's Giant Amphibious Sperms Will Kill Us All!

Via the Copyranter blog, we bring you this ingenious, if kind of gross, marketing effort for an upcoming showing of Knocked Up on New Zealand TV. It mounts a living, breathing recreation of a sperm's penetration of the oocyte using a diorama incorporating tadpoles and a fish food-stuffed egg-sponge. And while we'd hate to see what kind of baby results from sperms that look like that, we do think this adverquarium could have a lengthy second life as a handy visual learning aid for Sarah Palin, available to wheel out every time she needs to explain to the American public when life precisely begins. Click the thumbnail to view the marvels of science at full size.

9:20 AM on Fri Sep 5 2008
By Seth
4 views, Comment

Short Ends

Throw Out Your Hands! Stick Out Your Tush!

· Say what you want about this act from last night's America's Got Talent—we're just thrilled to see the Gay Man's Chorus of Los Angeles keeping themselves busy in the chorus off-season. [AGT]
· So those two "two sharp young writers" Dan Aykroyd mentioned are hard at work on Ghostbusters 3 are The Office co-EPs Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. Pam + Slimer 4ever! [Variety]
· Sarah Palin attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987. Also, she burned down a library after she found out the Moosewood Cookbook was vegetarian commie propaganda. [AP, Boston Herald]
· Howie Mandel earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today, which came with a smaller matching star in an aluminum briefcase. Because he's made his biggest impact on a popular game show featuring people screaming at briefcases, you see. Oh... never mind. [Getty Images]
· Attention all drug addicts currently loitering near or around Kirsten Dunst's hotel room: your days of villainy are numbered! [Yahoo]
· And the same goes for you, female strippers in Australia accused of sexually penetrating the bachelor! [news.com.au]

5:58 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Seth
793 views, 6 comments

Latest by ChelseaCosta: Boys, boys, boys! Not ALL Chorus renditions translate well from mind to reality. Let's try it again, shall we? more »

717836-1.jpg A Call To The Bullpen

Body Massages By Jennifer Aniston

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VMA FYI: In news that will surely please his favorite white girl Scarlett Johansson, Kanye West has been picked to close out this year's VMAs (which will be opened — in some fashion — by Britney Spears). Since it's the ceremony's 25th anniversary, the network says we can expect winks to MTV's past including Christina Aguilera returning to reprise "Genie in a Bottle," and Katy Perry essaying Madonna's "Like a Virgin." And just like at this year's MTV Movie Awards, we'll be live on the red carpet Sunday evening causing havoc and liveblogging our hearts out. But unlike the '07 VMAs, this year's event looks like it might actually be able to hold our interest, thanks to the addition of the unpredictable Russell Brand as host. Let's just hope they don't let Eva Longoria Parker near him — MTV couldn't afford the FCC fine if those two got into water sports again. [MTV]

2 comments

To Do

Ring The Alarm, It's Beyonce's Birthday

Anyone who's been watching Molly McAleer's nightly To Do videos during the last few months knows that her soundtrack for the summer has been Girl Talk's Feed The Animals. At least, that's what we thought. Turns out she's been riding around town all summer pumping an entirely different jam, Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied." So what if the song is two years old this week, it's Beyonce's birthday. Join Molls as she leads you through the best things to do in LA tonight (and watch as she and Edward cut loose in what looks to be a Circle-K parking lot). Enjoy! More »

5:05 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Mark Graham
957 views, 4 comments

Latest by TheQuestion: Oh, Molls, you saucy wench! You tease in the beginning with that low cut top and at the end with more »

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4:53 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008

Fierce: The Final Frontier

'America's Next Top Model' Boldly Going Wherever A Set Budget Of $149 Will Take Them

Last night's premiere of the latest cycle of America's Next Top Model unveiled this season's epic theme—"As sci fi as we can possibly make this using things found at a dollar store"—to much squealy delight from the carefully selected pool of regular- and plus-sized replicants. While the audience seems to be dwindling for such catwalk-crawling minstrel shows (the ratings hit an all-time low), the series is to be commended for never failing to adapt and innovate. Take, for example, the introduction of exciting Glamonator 11.0 technology: A more sophisticated descendant of the Sleeper Orgasmatron, it's capable of producing an amazingly convincing hologram of a completely-over-it reality hostess who wishes she could fold up shop on this ghetto-ass exercise in model-search futility to spend more time on her Emmy-winning talk show. Smile with your circuits, ladies! More »

4:45 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Seth
1,210 views, 8 comments

Latest by taraniso: When the Glamonator opened and birthed the Tyra, it reminded me of The Fly (Jeff Goldblum with tear duct glitter) more »

Hassled

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has No Interest in Returning Michelle Obama's Fist Bump

Elisabeth Hasselbeck flew into Minneapolis today to host a luncheon for the terrifyingly taut-faced First Lady candidate Cindy McCain, and though The View's resident conservative has hardly hid her feelings on the presidential election, she's also remained relatively mum on the subject of Michelle Obama — until now. The two women met for the first time when Obama guest-hosted The View in June, and Hasselbeck's catty comments may ensure that the visit was Michelle's last. Says the New York Times: More »

4:25 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
4,686 views, 13 comments

Latest by thecatsmeow: I don't care what any of The View peeps have to say. Anytime I've watched they are cranky and tiresome. more »

82656488-1.jpg A Call To The Bullpen

Robert Downey Jr Smashes It Up!

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Hollywood Privacywatch

Hollywood Privacywatch: Ellen Pompeo, 'Staten Island Prostitute'

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Ellen Pompeo at the Century City Mall looking like (and we quote) "a Staten Island prostitute".

This week's installment also includes: Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Ryan Phillippe, Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long, Farrah Fawcett, James Woods, Dane Cook, John C. Reilly, Lauren Conrad, Ellen Pompeo, P. Diddy (twice in the same night!), Jared Leto, Kevin Federline, Sandra Oh, Seth Green, Balthazar Getty, Pete Wentz, Briam Baumgartner, Zachary Levi, Ciara, Adam "Seymour Butts" Glasser and more.

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3:45 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Mark Graham
5,670 views, 11 comments

Latest by rtisovec: Glad to see that the rising citrus prices haven't forced Puffy to switch to Orange Julius since he's already had more »

Our National Treasure

The 10 Most Bizarre Nicolas Cage Moments To Ever Hit the Screen

In the New Yorker review of Nicolas Cage's new film Bangkok Dangerous, film critic Anthony Lane complains, "The Cage of Wild at Heart and Leaving Las Vegas found life to be engrossingly weird, and treated it accordingly, whereas the Cage of Bangkok Dangerous intones a line like 'There’s a beer in the refrigerator' as if he were reading from the Book of Micah." To that, we ask: is this something new? Nicolas Cage has always been counted on to deliver insane line readings, bizarre physicality, and all around weirdness to his roles. Hell, isn't that why we like him? In the spirit of Cage's eccentricity (and with the help of videographer Molly McAleer), we've assembled a video that chronicles the ten weirdest on-screen moments of Nicolas Cage's career. To be fair, we only allowed one moment per movie — otherwise, you'd be looking at a played-out (but delightful!) highlight reel of The Wicker Man. Enjoy!

3:25 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
4,096 views, 14 comments

Latest by mrsryan: Ah, Wicker Man. It's not that I can't believe Cage said the lines, "The bees! Not the bees! Ahhh! They're more »

gdeltoro.jpg the end of ideas

Guillermo del Toro to Pump Out Stale Remakes For Universal Until 2017

Whatever your impressions of would-be bank robber and generally overrated fantasy maven Guillermo del Toro, his new long-term pact with Universal can't be the kind of thing that rouses too much confidence in his growth and versatility — even among fans. After his five-year commitment to The Hobbit, the filmmaker will reportedly return back to his Hellboy backers for four films in as many years. And if/when we ever write our book on the End of Ideas epidemic sweeping Hollywood, his unique stretch from this year's sequel Hellboy II to one of three remake possibilities in 2017 may be worth an entire chapter's worth of consideration: More »

3:05 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By STV
908 views, 2 comments

Latest by 2xBlue: Patton Oswald with a beard? more »

Next Time, Cool Out With A Cruller. Pasadena native Bryan Curiel approached a trio of women at a doughnut shop in Newport Beach Sunday, and was promptly told to leave them alone. A few minutes later, they left the store, at which point Curiel sped his car directly at them—going "at least 50 mph." Curiel only managed to run over one of their feet before crashing into a nearby concrete bench. He's currently being held on $1 million bail, and charged with several felony charges including attempted murder, for which he'd get life in prison if convicted. Moral of the story? Don't just say yes to the first guy who asks you out at the doughnut shop. He could be crazy! [cbs2.com]

5 comments

Great Moments in Awkwardness

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Get Expert Tips For Surviving Excruciating Toronto Reunion

Amid all the gala premieres and Earth-shattering Paris Hilton controversies gripping Toronto as its film festival gets underway, only one subplot in particular has managed to coax psychoanalysts and romantic advice gurus alike out of their plush-lined caves. And to be honest, we can't believe we didn't think of it sooner: What should exes Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston — both in town with new films — do should they bump into each other on some congested red carpet, or while picking up one of those delicious sausages on Bloor Street? That's heartburn enough — but it doesn't have to be crippling, argues today's Globe and Mail:

[I]f Mr. Pitt does show up at an event Ms. Aniston is attending, it behooves him to initiate an interaction.

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2:25 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By STV
2,198 views, 9 comments

Latest by WGARefugee: My ideal scenario when two aging and estranged movie stars meet up: they stare at each other like the guys more »

spl47532_001-1.jpg A Call To The Bullpen

'This Old Thing? It's Just My Going To The Store Outfit'

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In Brief

Movie Poster Banned For Alluding To Seth Rogen's Sexuality

FROM GAWKER.COM: The MPAA, the cabal charged with protecting American decency through movie regulation, has banned a promo poster for the upcoming Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen flick Zack And Miri Make A Porno, just before its debut in Toronto. Too blowjob-y. More »

1:47 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
14,061 views, 38 comments

Alternate Universes

This Cover of 'Life' May Be The Closest You'll Ever Get To Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

When we pointed out last week that potential veep candidate Sarah Palin bore a strong resemblance to Tina Fey as Liz Lemon (except for their stances on important social issues), never did we imagine the proof would come in the form of this Life cover from September 2004. Striking a remarkably similar pose to her current Rolling Stone spread (what is it with her and men with ties?), Fey needs little else besides an exotically named brood and a hilarious accent to complete her remarkably accurate Palin impression. In fact, according to Poynter Online, the cover shoot may have given John McCain some ideas: More »

1:45 PM on Thu Sep 4 2008
By Kyle Buchanan
9,071 views, 9 comments

Latest by JudyPaceFace: Again with the Kristen Wiig Is Great comments? more »

Best Friendsies! Ignore everything you've heard about Paula Abdul hating that miserable, no-talent bitch Kara DioGuardi—aka the hotter, younger, more talented Paula recently added to the American Idol judging tribunal. It turns out, they love each other, just like the press release from Mike Darnell originally said they would! "Abdul told Page Six: 'The 'American Idol' cast was such a boys club, now I have a true sister to share the fun with. It's been amazing.'" Now does that seem remotely coerced? Of course not. [NY Post]

5 comments

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