I checked out after she started reading her scribblings on the legal pad.
What a strange, dull gal.

Think the Vegas odds-makers are already planning to see how long she stays changed from the experience?

I wish I had seen Anderson Cooper. Friends have told me he was visibly pissed about having to do his follow-up.

Paris was vile in her vacuousness and Anderson was on fire. My favorite was his comment that her appeal plummets every time she opens that "lip-glossed mouth of hers." Perhaps I can believe she was unprepared to be asked point-blank about using drugs (which still is surprising after a Jane reporter almost admitted splitting a spliff with her in her care and after LaLiLo retorted to Hilton's "firecrotch" bomb with a knowing "cokehead" [and LaLiLo should know]). But to enter an hour-long interview completely unprepared to defend her spurious claim to ADD as well as to have NO KNOWLEDGE AT ALL of ANY bible story or passage? JESUS. She is, in the words of my goddess Tina Fey, a piece of it.

Wow! Bitch is much, MUCH dumber than originally anticipated. It kind of boggles the mind, actually. If only for a second or two.

Anderson Cooper's follow-up was genius -- one of the best things I have seen on TV in a long time. God, he hates her so much. It was exactly the antidote I needed after sitting through Larry King's hourlong cunnilingus.

I really do appreciate Paris explaining "mystery meat" to everyone. I had never heard that phrase nor been subjected to it in all my years of growing up in the pre-microwaved Mid-West and during those experimental college years. Thank you, Paris, for selfishly teaching us something new.

And, as someone with natural blue eyes who gets the "yeah, right, like those are real" + eyeroll, I appreciate her humanitarian gesture of taking out the shitty fake blue contacts. May her brown-eyed sisters follow in her footsteps and put an end to the suffering. As for the blonde weave, you bitches are on your own.

I can't wait for InStyle to have a feature on the outfit and make-up she wore to the interview.

Oh man and better run to Staples, now.
Legal pads are going to be flying off the shelves, too.

There was an amazing point in that interview where moments after saying that her only negative quality (I'm sure) was that her voice gets really high when she is nervous, she answered the question if you are quick to anger. Her answer was no. Only the word no was about 10 octaves higher. Who needs a lie detector with this chick.
I realized that she is not stupid, just a completely unformed human being. She is what happens when you are not pushed to be challenged, or learn anything in your formative years. She's like the thing that replaces the main character in The Last Starfighter when he's off saving the galaxy, or the first 30 minutes of Starman. She just needs to learn.

This just in: 23 days in the slammer turns you into Dolly Parton. Except, you know, without any of the wit or talent.

Look, I don't know and have never met or even observed Paris Hilton in the flesh. But NEVER taken drugs? I guess it's within the realm of human and universal possibility...but so is Pauly Shore winning an Oscar. That is to say, highly, outlandishly, unlikely. She didn't get the party girl rep she's burnished with out some chemical enhancement. And don't even get me started on the 'not drinking too much' part.

This was a chance to finally be honest for once in her life. This interview was an insult to anyone with a brain, and a colossal waste of everyone's time who produced, marketed and participated in the sham. And that includes the people who just sat and watched.

Two other things...

1. Never taken her clothes off in front of a stranger? Um, yeah.

2. Is it just me or was Larry way too excited about that whole line of questioning? If I were King wife #287 or whatever he's up to now, I'd be a little suspicious about his proclivities.

@Little Mintz Sunshine: Ah yeah... What was that balony (sp?) that she mentioned? She said it was a sandwich, but I can't imagine anyone in this industrialized world able to force down a strange meat wedged inbetween bread with nothing but mayo on it. I really hope she is getting her fill of real food like cupcakes and whatever the Ivy comps her.

@snowback: I've never really understood the Silver Fox's appeal until last night, and suddenly, I love him.

Larry King can throw a softball like few others in the "journalism" business. But even he has been beaten at his own game by James Lipton. Now THERE'S a Paris Hilton interview I'd pay to watch.

Like Paris hasn't choked down more than her fair share of "mystery meat".

Paris . . . good thing you weren't under oath during the part when you denied ever doin' drugs because you would have found yourself back at Lynwood under State perjury charges and drawing vapidly sophomoric depictions of you in your cell at Lynwood quicker than you could make a Columbian 8-Ball of Pablo Escobar's finest disappear using only your nose, a Naguchi coffee table and your equally idiotic mom's black American Express Card.

To be honest, I don't know that I've ever heard Paris speak more than two words. (Those words being "That's hot!") She sounds like a not so bright 12 year old. If you're gonna be awkward enough to read from your notes at least learn to read first.

I thought she was gonna skip through the end of the statement there, given her tone - "Uh, learned my lesson, peace and love, God opens a window yadda yadda yadda - and something about my family. See ya!"

Glad to see she took out the contacts though - is that the new standard for personal growth?

Anderson Cooper? will you marry me??!!

Adderall - it's a hell of a drug.

Question: How do you know if you have ADD if you don't really do anything?

@EllieLA: ..."STAYS" changed from the experience? From what I can see, the only thing that's different about the P-word now is that she's changed her contacts (and hopefully, her underwear..oh, wait, she doesn't wear panties, either. Hard to keep track..).

She's still whimpering about how unfair it all was and how she will be scarred for life for being unable to hug her Dad on Father's Day.

No, if Paris-ite thinks her most negative trait is her high-pitched tone, as opposed to her total lack of charm, wit, grace, integrity, humility, talent,and good looks, NOTHING has changed, sorry to say.

@bedofnails: Some of these side effects below sound very familiar...I just can't remember where I've heard of these before...It was recent, maybe like 20 or so days ago...Golly, if only I could remember...

Loss of appetite, weight loss, dry mouth, stomach upset/pain, nausea/vomiting, dizziness, headache, diarrhea, fever, nervousness, and trouble sleeping may occur. Tell your doctor immediately if any of these unlikely but serious side effects occur: mental/mood/behavior changes (e.g., agitation, aggression, mood swings, depression, abnormal thoughts), uncontrolled movements, continuous chewing movements/teeth grinding, outbursts of words/sounds, change in sexual ability/desire. Seek immediate medical attention if any of these rare but very serious side effects occur: shortness of breath, chest pain, fainting, severe headache, fast/pounding/irregular heartbeat, jaw/left arm pain, seizures, weakness on one side of the body, slurred speech, confusion, swelling of the ankles/feet, extreme tiredness, blurred vision. A very serious allergic reaction to this drug is unlikely, but seek immediate medical attention if it occurs. Symptoms of a serious allergic reaction may include: rash, itching, swelling, severe dizziness, trouble breathing.

@Garrison Dean: I have a different opinion on what she "needs." Unless of course by "needs to learn" you mean "needs a shiv in the eye." If so, then we're on the same legal pad page.

@Garrison Dean: Her voice also went much higher when she denied the drug usage. I thought Larry did OK, but why the fuck didn't he point out that there were pictures on the later-banned website of her snorting blow?
And other pictures of her with a bag of marijuana in her purse? Plus many of her actually smoking joints?

They needed a dedicated Paris-hater to conduct that interview, like Anderson himself. Now THAT would have been sweet.

@LAGirl: Back of the line!

Although I confess I did not watch the interview -- I just couldn't face it. Watching Paris for an extended period of time causes in me many of the side effects Little Mintz Sunshine listed above.

legal pads are so HOT!

Now that I think of it, Anderson Cooper was raised in the same world of priviledge as Paris Hilton. Look at what he did with it. Then again, so was Goerge Bush, but I'll take that can-o-worms over to Huffington Post...

Maybe she considers "taking drugs" to be swallowing pills. Snorting cocaine and smoking pot would not be considered "taking drugs" by that logic.

@Garrison Dean: I realized that she is not stupid, just a completely unformed human being.

So true. Unfortunately, she's not alone. And yes, I'm talking about you Commander Guy!

@IKnowThings: I know someone who swears he's not addicted to Vicodin (and the nine other black-boxed meds he has prescriptions for) because he does not swallow them, he chews them.

Nothing much to add, except that if you're taking Adderall for Attention Deficit Disorder, I don't think you can even have ANY alcohol, much less recreational drugs.

Just sayin'.

@hypebreaker:

Oh, I don't believe she's changed at all, either. I know she says she has, but her line reading wasn't all that convincing.

She's never lived a real life and never will.

@DukeLaCrosse:

Oh, please, THAT meat is no mystery to her at all.

That must have been the first time our beloverly P-tard laid eyes on a legal pad. (Can she ever have seen paper that wasn't pink, jewel-encrusted, or monetary?)

I'm imagining her flabbergasted at what paper even is - nibbling at the legal pad's edges thinking it was marzipan, or maybe eyeing the flat surface and thinking "wow, what a dull cocaine mirror. But at least you can see where the lines are supposed to go."

...douse himself in lantern oil and set his body aflame...

Is that really necessary? Isn't formaldehyde flammable?

@Little Mintz Sunshine: OH yeah, just like how you're not an alcoholic when you switch to just top shelf...

If she really does set up a halfway house, she can be as dumb as she wanna be.

Did Larry really ask her if a strip search was, like, totally "gross"?

@nick_r:
So she's been strip searched in front of friends?

The unfortunate thing is she didn't realize that if she had simply told the truth -- the whole, unvarnished truth -- then THAT would have been the road to what she ultimately may want: to be a "star" in the traditional sense.

Right now, it's still "game over."

She's well on her way to being a true Poor Little Rich Girl.

@migukin: That's why I didn't get. Why not just say: "Lare, I'm not going to get into the things I have done and haven't done while partying. However, I will admit I have partaken in some activities that I regret. I had a lot of time to reflect on some of that childish behaviour while in jail, and that is part of my life that I am well and truly leaving behind."

Had she said that, I might only moderately despise her today, as opposed to continuing to passionately despise her lying, cowardly, lesion-ed ass.

@LAGirl:
umm LAGirl... do you have a dick?
then, ok.
love,
A.C.