October
· Britney loses her kids.
· Charlie Sheen and his correspondences with ex-sad, jobless pig, Denise Richards
· David Letterman's classic post-jail Paris Hilton interview.
· Tell Me You Love Me introduces America to prop nuts and fake jizz.
· Danny Bonaduce piledrives Jonny Fairplay.
· Pamela Anderson weds the Paris Hilton sex-tape guy in Vegas.
· The path to war.
· IggyGate rocks a nation.
· That creepy thing about David Copperfield you could never quite put your finger on.
· The Great 2007 Fire of Everyfuckingwhere.
· The Great Strike Chair Dispute is a bad sign of things to come.
· Marie Osmond down n' out.
· Jerry Seinfeld demonstrates some Late Night hubris.

November
· The strike is on. (And on and on and on.)
· Ellen DeGeneres crosses picket lines.
· Shia LaBeouf's Walgreen's arrest.
· Fabio vs. Clooney.
· Michael Jackson's Ebony cover.
· Mickey Rourke's Vespa DUI.
· Dog the Bounty Hunter's gets caught N-wording on tape by his own son.
· The Incredible Picketing Baby: A strike star is born.
· Sharon Stone leaves little to the imagination.
· Matt Damon named the sexiest man alive.
· The hunkiest Bachelor ever refuses to play by The Bachelor rules.
· A live 30 Rock among the sweet spots in a bitter strike.
· Carson Daly's strike solution.
· Carrot Top scores!

December
· Kiefer's in jail :(
· Jodie Foster publicly thanks her life partner.
· Katherine Heigl puts her foot in it in Vanity Fair.
· Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass is a topic of much discussion.
· Dr. Phil's audience spared a taping of Dr. Phil.
· Quentin Tarantino horrifies early risers with his Golden Globe announcements.
· Steven Spielberg staying put.
· Jamie Lynn Spears is having a baby.
· A Return to Late Night.
· Last DUI of the year? Bet on it: Mischa Barton.
· Worldwide Pants the slacks of reason in the growing strike madness.

July
· The big fucking robots finally come—and conquer.
· Kwik-E-Mart's invade the area.
· Lindsay Lohan comes of drinking age.
· CAA assistants gather to greet Becks in the stairwell. He never comes.
· Live Earth's a dud.
· Rosie O'Donnell defiles Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
· Ed Limato squeezed out at ICM.
· Jon Lovitz's Andy Dick smackdown.
· Introducing, Herr Cruise!
· Filipino "Thriller."
· Lindsay Lohan: The Coke-Pant, Denalijacking arrest.
· McPherson to Silverman: "Be a man."
· Merry Miller's Holly Hunter interview disaster.

August
· Billion Dollar Ratner Week.
· Whoopi Goldberg arrives at The View.
· Lohan joins the Cirque.
· The Phil Spector trial field trip and he's greatest canine supporter.
· Big Brother's Amber is leery of Jews, and other BB intolerances.
· Merv Griffin dead, gay.
· John From Cincinnati drowns in an inscrutable riptide.
· Hey—it's Naked Leopard Man! (Thanks, Dave!)
· The Learning Channel not quite successful achieving its mission statement.
· Owen Wilson attempts suicide.

September
· Rita Cosby's outrageous Howie-on-Larry allegations.
· Bill Murray's drunken Swedish golfcart joyride.
· Jerry Lewis's gay telethon slur.
· Crazed Italian Brad Pitt fan-attack!
· The Britney Spears VMAs performance of a lifetime.
· Kathy Griffin: "Screw Jesus. This award is my god now."
· Acknowledging the Rubyfruit Mafia.
· O.J. Simpson's stolen-shit shakedown.
· An Emmys in the round.
· Kid Nation premieres, and homesickness abounds.
· Spector jury hung. Mistrial is declared.
· Sherri Shepherd admits she has no clue what shape the planet is.
· Leave Britney Alone!
· George Clooney's motorcycle accident.
· Kiefer Sutherland's U-Turn of Doom.
· Spielberg: "Completely Immaterial."

• Defamer Clips

We cannot express enough just how much joy we derived from reliving the greatest recorded moments of the year; some of them we've now seen dozens, even hundreds of times, and yet they still offer us new discoveries—such as Barbara Walters observing, "Well, you can do both," upon it being suggested to her that it's impossible to simultaneously feed one's children, and know that the Earth is in fact not flat. Oop! We've already said too much. From us to you, enjoy.

• Defamer Clips

May
· Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days.
· Hasselburger down!
· Bruce Willis's Sweary Night in Canada.
· Russell Crowe loses it rhapsodizing Brian Grazer.
· Chris Albrecht's bumpy night bumps him right out of HBO.
· Kirstie Alley the surprise hero of The Great Griffith Park Fires of 2007.
· Paris pardons Elliot Mintz.
· Who knew the Upfronts would wind up being a gigantic waste of time? (Ahem.)
· Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie zipline stunt.
· The Pinkberry question.
· An Idol winner.
· Rosie storms out of The View.
· Shhhhhh. It's sleeping Jakeypoo on a train.
· Lindsay Lohan's "usable amount of cocaine" DUI arrest.
· · Kevin Reilly is shitcanned, and a perfect storm rock star takes his place.
· Hey—remember that TB guy?
· Typo of the Year.

June
· Paris, In-n-Out-n-In.
· Isaiah Washington fired from Grey's Anatomy.
· The Jericho peanut campaign starts a new era of snack-food-based fan demonstrations.
· Rob Lowe commits birdiecide.
· Eli Roth's monstrous manhood.
· Clooney and Damon press their paws in Grauman's.
· Don't Stop Believin': The Sopranos is over.
· Paris finds God.
· Brian Grazer and Gigi Levangie call it quits.
· Innovative assistants have their benefits revoked, and quickly restored. Shmears for all!
· CAA needlessly sends its assistants for iPhones.
· Paris is released.
· How Studio 60 ended.

January
· Tara Reid's endless New Year's Eve countdown.
· Vanessa Minnillo cusses her way into the new year.
· From Justin to Cameron: You're dumped.
· Welcome to the end of The O.C. era, bitch.
· Indy 4 gets a greenlight, and crystal skulls are still things you associate with a head shop.
· Gail Berman gets the ax, making Brad Grey the Emperor of Paramount.

· Welcoming the Beckhams.
· James Cameron settles on a project.
· Donald and Rosie still having relationship problems.
· Angelina Jolie assesses her feelings about the new white blob in her life.
· Golden Globes, top to bottom.
· The beginning of the end for Isaiah Washington.
· Sorky fights back!
· Dreamgirls, snubbed.
· The CAA Death Star opens for business.
· Nicole Kidman's Invasion accident. (Sooo not worth it.)

February
· The Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing campaign has Boston under siege.
· With Lloyd Braun as her witness, Gail Berman shall rise again.
· Sienna Miller's Today show f-bomb.
· Chewie booked.
· OMFG: Anna Nicole dies. Eight great YouTube moments.
· Zucker ascends.
· Prince's Super Bowl demonschlong.
· Hey—remember that crazy astronaut in the diaper?
· They don't call Ralph Fiennes the Mile-High Mad Dog for nothing.
· Paris Hilton and Antonio Villaraigosa cozy up to discuss policy.
· Liveblogging Oscar.
· Britney shaves her head, and America really starts to suspect that something might be wrong.

March
· The Wolfgang Puck hepatitis A scare rocks canapé-noshing Hollywood!
· Antonella Barba: A star for the talentless, naughty-internet-photo generation.
· The first juicy-ish gossip item in the history of Hollywood sound mixers.
· Avert your eyes: Travolta is boogying in bikerwear.
· Steven Spielberg's stolen Rockwell.
· Fat Leto.
· Pax Thien put on Angelina's Black Card.
· Sly busted in Australia for possession of HGH.
· Britney in Promises.
· Richard Jeni's suicide.
· Brian Grazer presents The Los Angeles Times Currents Section: An Imagine Production canceled because of Grazergate.
· The amazing Lily Tomlin/David O. Russell Huckabees freakouts.
· Sanjayamania reduces us to tears.
· The Great Burbank Fire of '07.

October
· The importance of being Jack Foley.
· InSinkErator™ vs. Heroes.
· The Rosie Nip/Tuck sex scene.
· Mel Gibson has many dark Pop-Tart secrets.
· The McChokey vs. McSteamy chokedown!
· Black like Jolie.
· The Madonna orphan controversy begins.
· NBC 2.0.
· This is the dawning of the Age of Borat.
· Madonnah does Opra.
· The All-Star Media Titan Tom Freston Roast.
· Brian Atene, we are your bitch.

November
· Tom Cruise overthrows the tiny nation of United Artists.
· Universal plunks down $42.5 million for a Bruno movie.
· Reese Witherspoon drops some weight.
· K-Fed's Halloween horror.
· Doogie Howser likes men.
· Things go from bad to worse for Kevin Federline.
· Borat's big splash.
· Gaylancer 3: The Reichening.
· Daniel Baldwin's still kicking up crack-related trouble in Santa Monica.
· Something Brainwashed, Something Blue.
· If It Had Aired, Here's How The Planet Would Have Erupted Into Flames.
· Michael Richards: How Not To Make Friends, and Distance People.
· Goodbye, Robert Altman. Be adequite.
· Britney Spears jumps the shark.
· Lindsay Lohan: Unclean and (trying to be) sober.

December
· Apocalypto's red tide.
· Amy Pascal just one penis shy of being most powerful person in Hollywood.
· Lane Garrison's Can't Hardly Wait night could probably have waited.
· Lindsay's nutcase manifesto.
· Jennifer Aniston just can not keep a man! What gives?
· Year-end awards season mania kicks off. Leo and Clint double dip at the Globes.
· Ms. Nicole Richie's wild, Vicodin-and-pot-induced ride.
· The agency holiday giving season is here, with varying results.
· Rosie vs. Donald. Rosie on Donald.
· We got Pageant slut fever!

July
· Where's Suri?
· Hilary Swank tells the world Chad Lowe's ongoing drug problem really put a strain on the relationship.
· A good year for the Bruckaneer.
· Joe Francis takes one for the titty-flashing team.
· Adam Sandler and Kevin James go go-go boy crazy in WeHo.
· Nina Jacobson gets the news she was fired from Disney while in the delivery room.
· Haley Joel Osment does his former child star duty.
· Oprah Winfrey tells everyone her lady-lover Gayle is just her friend.
· Colin Farrell's Tonight Show stalker ambush.
· Lindsay Lohan's Morgan Creek letter and that creepy-ass fleshkini photograph.
· "I'M GAY"
· Ellen Pompeo's Big Fat Plate of Nothing diet.

August
· Well...Mel.
· Thanks for the add, World Trade Center!
· Director Vadim Perelman's busty bar brawl.
· Brian + Gigi 4-ever!
· More Mel.
· Naughty kinkajou!
· Ever get the feeling Robin Williams checked himself in for the material?
· Agent takes it all at the World Series of Poker.
· Andy Dick adds biting to the repertoire.
· Tom Cruise is booted from Paramount, and a Redstone vs. Cruise war for the ages begins.
· Survivor goes the race war route.
· Snakes On A Bomb.
· Tom Cruise gets backing from the loop-de-loop set.
· Emmy's Angels reunion.
· Les Moonves picking on Tom Freston never gets old.

April
· Katie Holmes gets ready to bite the binkie.
· John McTiernan is charged with lying to the feds about Pellicano.
· Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson catfight over Brett Ratner's affections.
· Payola Six rocks the gossip inhaling world.
· Aaron Sorkin's delicious crack recipe.
· Up close and personal with Gay Vito.
· Enter Suri.
· Charlie Sheen's dirty, prep squad laundry is aired by Denise Richards.
· Julia Roberts bombs on Broadway.
· Britney Spears still knew the whereabouts of her second baby.

May
· M:i:III's global premiere challenge has Cruise firing on all pistons.
· Mark Gill is given his Warner Independent waddling papers.
· Randy Quaid settles his Brokeback lawsuit.
· Teri Hatcher goes on and on about her gripples.
· A bad omen of things to come: M:i:III disappoints™.
· It's never too early for Kiefer's Christmas tree tackle!
· Upfronts sizzle with Studio 60 potential!
· Ride the rails on The Da Vinci Code express.
· Brian Grazer puts the "p" in prank.
· As far as we're concerned, this is the image of the year.
· Britney Spears angry poetry takes on a whole new level of couchhusband-dumping significance.
· Hugh Jackman and his horny sailor friends set a course for adventure.

February
· Brokeback Mountain and Oscar seem like a definite couple, but you know how that goes.
· Lee Tamahori: DGA member looks like a lady!
· Britney Spears was supposed to be the next Debra Messing.
· Werner Herzog is Joaquin Phoenix's guardian angel. (Yeah, we thought we had dreamed that one, too.)
· Tom Ford gives us a naked Scarlett Johansson, and yet no cleavage. Explain that one!
· New Line online marketing gives us a virtual Vera Farmiga, then invites you to eat her out until she "[COMES] her fucking brains out!"
· The Stacy Snider defection rumors swirl.
· Overdosing on Oscars hype.
· The split that never came gets the legal threats that never materialize.
· Jeremy Piven is crowned King of L.A. Nightlife. As if we needed Los Angeles magazine to tell us that.