· Something Brainwashed, Something Blue: Katie Holmes is not for your consideration, and probably not for Tom's either, no matter how many sparkly nighties she buys. Brooke Shields is never above a free, catered dinner. REDFORD. STREEP. Cruise? Countdown to the ring and cat exchange. The couple revives La Dolce Vita. (Coincidentally the title of the most anticipated gay porn release of the year!)
· Brangel-India: Angelina rides the train. The school stampede. Indian Oprah.
· Movie marketers now actively begging you to piss on them.
· Commuters gleefully follow the Nude Piper of the 405, until cops ruin the fun.
· OutWeek: Kristanna Loken is terrible at keeping Michelle Rodriguez's non-secrets.
· Taser-equipped Blackberrys the hot new gadget among CAA agents.
· O.J. Simpson and Judith Regan just want to make some good TV, people!
· "Ladies Look Out:" Kevin Federline's shower door defacing game is ridiculous.
· More cowbell.
· McMullety wins the sash. Again.
· Another week of hatin' on the Baron. The frat boy's all liquid carb diet. Sacha learns to grin and bear the most sincere form of flattery.
· Jerry Bruckheimer finds the Keep It Explosive, Stupid rule generally keeps people happy. But it doesn't always work.
· Before you die you see...The Nose.
· Tina Fey is, like, totally jealous of Paris Hilton's body and recording career.
· Pahrump lets Sorky down.
· Shopping with the Stars: Joey Lawrence wants a piece of H&M's affordable trendwear action.