Defamer
A couple of thoughts immediately crossed our minds upon viewing Us Weekly's completely convincing, obviously not staged photos of American Idol spokesmodel Ryan Seacrest and profoundly desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher:
· Teri Hatcher's troubled past is obviously playing a prominent role in her choice of unavailable men;
· If Seacrest's mouth were clenched any tighter (warning: link not safe for sanity), he'd probably shatter all of his teeth en route to swallowing his entire chin.
Special Bonus Section! We can't guarantee that the following PrivacyWatch sighting isn't somehow involved in the above publicity ploy, but someone sent in an account of the odd couple's visit to Malibu a couple of days ago that seemed a little suspicious even before the photos surfaced:
I saw Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher eating a big ass lobster and drinking champagne at popular biker stop "Neptune's Net" on Saturday (3-25-06). I couldn't really tell if they were on a date, but both seemed to be having a good time. There was lots of touching and laughing going on. It was nice to see two celebrities hanging out at a dive restaurant and not acting pretentious at all. They were very friendly to everyone who noticed them and they didn't try to hide their identities at all. Even the two hardcore bikers with long beards who looked that they hadn't showered in months recognized them.The best was when Seacrest came out with the food looking for a place to sit. At first their were no seats available so some random dude offered to share his seat with Seacrest. Seacrest was confused if the man was getting up, but once he realized that the guy wanted to dine with him and Teri he politely declined the invitation.
A biker bar? Apparently, someone on Seacrest's PR team vetoed a meal at Mr. Confirmed Heterosexual's Steak House And Brewery as too transparent.
Comments
Is a trucker hat the new varsity jacket?
20 bucks says they wear the same size pants.
The funniest is the comment from some poor, naive girl named Vanessa on the Us Online website: "I was expecting ryan seacrest to be with someone a bit younger... and prettier..." ... and perhaps, say, MALE?
Isn't Ryan a friend of Dorothy? That might explain his clenched jaw. On the other hand, Teri didn't exactly comb her hair (and brush her teeth?) before the kiss.
grody! He's just trying to make Anderson jealous....
Looks like Teri just popped into first place to get Katie Holmes's belly prosthesis. I do think Teri showed guts testifying against her uncle though.
First tip off of that it is a fake is that neither of them eat...
Isn't it kind of a conflict of interest for these E! anchors to keep dating people that they report on (either faux or for real). If you can't believe in the journalistic integrity of the anchors of E! news, who can you trust. I think there new slogan should be "E! News: screw us for publicity."
Bikers enjoy the fish tacos at Neptune's Net? So do half the other people driving up PCH at any given time. That doesn't make it a "biker bar," any more than Johnny Rocket's is a "biker chain of faux-'50s-diner franchises" because there are always a few Harleys parked in front.
I am just dissappointed that they Staged Their Kiss in Malibu and not on The Patio Of The Ivy like all the rest of the celebrities craving attention. Then, we could have at least caught a glimpse of Teri Hatcher waiting patiently while Ryan Seacrest tries on Assorted Hipster T-shirts at Lisa Kline Men and Kitson.
My first kiss was less awkward than that. And it was in a movie theatre during Wayne's World.
Someone really needs to teach Ryan's flack('s assistant) to write better fake PrivacyWatches. My favorite part, though (other than Neptune's Net=biker bar which everyone's pointed out) is 'two celebrities hanging out at a dive restaurant and not acting pretentious at all'. And that's followed up by a snide comment about bikers not showering. Also, if Teri Hatcher becomes Ryan Seacrest's medium-term beard, then she officially loses that modicum of respect I still have left for her from her stint as Lois Lane. And Teri, it's getting smaller by the day.
She's not even a good beard.
In a recent, sort-of revealing interview with a London tabloid, resident American Idol meanie Simon Cowell denies being a closeted homosexual, though refuses to address questions pertaining to why he wears the same black t-shirt every single day. Says Cowell: If I was [gay] why hide it?
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