Defamer
Lest you think that unemployed megastar has nothing better to do but man the funnel cake cart at Magic Mountain and wait around for Brad Pitt to destroy him, Us Weekly helpfully reminds us that America's Most Suspicious Fiance still has an imminent billion-year commitment ceremony to plan, a truly massive undertaking that undoubtedly consumes all of his available time. While Cruise has apparently delegated the trivial task of centerpiece flower-selection to his war bride, he's personally—personally!—handling more crucial matters, like auditioning new, more Caucasian-looking Suris (even he wasn't immune to criticisms that the original model was a little too Asian) for the event and testing the special "bridal collar" with which Holmes will be fitted following the exchange of vows, ensuring that it will deliver the necessary, paralyzing voltage should she attempt flight while he's busy with guests at the reception.
- Us Weekly [Us Magazine.com]
- Previously: Cruise-Holmes Wedding Happening Pretty Soon, Probably [Defamer]
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