Defamer
The emaciated husk of a formerly zaftig Courtney Love still steadfastly insists her rapid weight loss was achieved through entirely safe and natural means, with a self-devised nutritional system so effective, we wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see a chain of Courtney Love Weight Loss Centers popping up around the country. But for those concerned that even the slightest blast of guitar feedback might now turn the rocker into a human tumbleweed, Love reassures her blog readers in her trademarked pidgin prose that she's already packing the pounds back on through that most popular of snack-sized Hollywood peace offerings, the cupcake:
"ive put on 10 pounds (thank you Sprinkles cupcakes wic h i must admit are overrated)" and "i never ever sia di was some pop tart singing griunning dancing 'enjtertainer' did i?"
"i must point out the hypocrisy of this crazy hysteria about my weight- ... Noones going to mistake me for Eva Longoria, andmy god I am truly hAppy to be who an what i am with my life an dmy expirience i can do so many things help so many people and make such a beautiful clothing line too! and maybe finish this dammed sript one day."
It's heartening to know the same gourmet iced confections that brought some solace to house arrest inmate #9818783 in her darkest hour are also helping to put some meat back onto Love's brittle bones, thereby giving her the stamina to help people, make beautiful clothes, and finish her "dammed sript"—a semi-autobiographical romantic drama called Hart Brakr that's never gotten further than, "INT. A BH Estate. Chelsea Hart, astunning rock icon who doesn't hav Body Dysmorphic Disorder, skims Billboard and learns her albmu is #1 for a record-breaking 78th week!"
Comments
mmmm..methadone-flavored frosting...mmmmm.
I guess snorting cupcakes doesn't put weight on the same way that eating them does.
Mrs. Beasley is sending her a basket the size of a dump truck right now. Eat it, Sprinkles!
OxyContin make great sprinkles
I do have to admit that I miss Fat Courtney . . . pound-for-pound, more Defamer and Fug Girls-reading goodness than Strung-out Junkie Courtney.
Will the dammed sript come with complimentary Advil when she starts shopping it around town? Or Vicodin? Or a gun? 'Cause that's the only way I'd be able to get through it.
Yay, here come the Cupcake Wars again - I missed them!
Team Mrs. Beasley, here.
There's something very fishy about Sprinkles Cupcakes. Didn't Katie Holmes start eating them right before she turned into a Stepford Wife?
All I'm saying is, heroin gives you a real sweet tooth.
Team Auntie Em's (on a good day).
Was that Weeds ad crashing anyone else's browser for the last two days?
yummycupcakes are can hook ya
when a cupcake has enough pull to get you to drive from b'bank and then stand in a frickin line sweating your ass off for a morsel of heavenly deliciousness you know there's got to be something to them. but i don't drool solo, oh no, i have also got my friends hopelessly hooked on the moist cakey smack, i mean snack. sprinkles you rock many a world.
Patton Oswalt is happier than a pig in shit right now.
Where in the f*ck is Mavis Beacon when you need her?
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