I'd like to know how one tells the difference between Sober Britney and Drunk Britney these days.

With the bathroom attending adding, "She only did a few small lines off the toilet paper dispenser, bumps really."

Is that the same Sylvie Haines who volunteers at Promises on Sunday? If so, I think I know her!

The martini: Shaken, not stirred. Or better yet, toxic.

I can hold my own drinks wise, and in my experience it only takes 2 of Lola's big ass sweet lady martini's to get me pretty conquered so I'm sure Mama Spears was more than a little drunk.

Her tolerance must be way up. 2 whiskey cokes and a martini would have me calling a cab for sure, and I outweigh her by a good 40 pounds at least. Or maybe I'd just drive anyway and crash my Benz into a curb. Whatever.

Her first step is not admitting she has a problem, m'kay?

So... if she hadn't gone to rehab she would have had coke and then two Jack Daniels separately? Is this the progress we're supposed to be seeing?

Unless she was sitting at the bar for six hours, I agree -- bitch got shitfaced.

More importantly, though, when is someone going to rip off her wig Kimberly Shaw-style so we can see what kind of progress she's making up there?

"troika"?

I like to think of them as the holy trinity.

Is anyone at Promises pissed that their clients are stumbling out of treatment just as drunk as they were when they came in? Hell, people can come to my house and do that. I'll hang up lots of crystals and shit...and I'll only charge them a $1,000 a day.

Jack and coke; an orange-flavored martini. Why, it's not a booze, but a sugar addiction going on here. Anyone can see that.

I gather Lola's didn't hire Sylvie for her discretion, but for her ability to sell out their clientele for a cheap blurb in the tabloids.

What kids? Oh yeah, that's right. The kids. Wasn't there something about how they were trying to sabotage her career and she got rid of them or something?

What a horrible combination of drinks! It doesn't even sound remotely good.

@LisaB: I know - it's like she just wants to vomit.

Please god this doesn't make Jack and Coke trendy. Her wannabes are all ninety pounds soaking wet and they get shitfaced on those ridonkulous watered-down fruitinis as it is. Once they start on the hard stuff they'll make every bar in the Americas uninhabitable.

Also: not Diet Coke? Sriusly?

I think Sylvie forgot to mention that Britbrit had this all served up in the same jug...

The new Starwatch is here! The new Starwatch is here! See a celeb stuff their face/pretend to eat/battle the bathroom lines? You know what to do.

Via Matt Yglesias, we find that those damn feminists are all upset about the Department of Health and Human Services web page that's filled with propaganda rather than any actual facts. The centerpiece is the bit on abortion ..."Abortions can have complications.