Okay, we're entering oversaturation territory.

Also: What part of "don't drive when your license is suspended," is, like, totally complicated?

Well, who doesn't take legal advice from their publicist and not their lawyers? I'm sure Paris also, sensibly, has her gynecologist do her taxes.

@Everybody Likes Pandas: Well, her vagina is her source of taxable income...

So if you are a member of the publicist mafia do you -

1) Burn her in effigy for bashing all of their hardwork.

2) Start writing spec press releases for the day she is released from jail in hopes of landing a new client.

Something tells me Elliot Mintz's real contract extends far beyond the time when he's officially serving as her publicist. Because taking responsibility for someone else's crimes... I mean, that's getting into sacrificing a goat in a circle of pig's feet kinda territory.

i love how her claimed ignorance somehow exonerates her from punishment in her mind...we can only hope they throw her in general population for the true jail experience

Now all she has to do is hire someone to tell her she doesn't need to go to jail.

@KarenUhOh: Or serve the time for her...

I honestly don't know how to feel about this until I can determine if Elliot's carbon footprint increased or was reduced.

A special note to Elliot: in certain cultures, this kind of statement would be followed by a ceremonial self-disembowelment. Give it some thought.

There was an article in the NYT last week about how, because of the overcrowding in California jails, you can pay to be kept out of Gen Pop and put in a private cell. I suspect this is what she'll do.

@Clare: Screw that. If there's a crowding problem put TWO people in a single cell and make them share a twin bed.

If she gets the chance to do that (private cell) there'll be all kinds of crazy press about "special treatment" for the priviledged. But if that's a possibility, it'll probably happen.

And here I am adding MORE attention to her.

My bad.

Let's call an official Boycott of all Hilton posts and comments.

Best part was the mother's "And after we spent all that money..." type comment. Out loud. In the courtroom. They are truly, truly disgusting people.

@HwoodHills: But...but...they're too easy to come up with! What would we do with ourselves if we didn't have this perfect specimen to take potshots at!

@HwoodHills: God, I don't care if she pays for special treatment just so long as it spares us all from the Mea Culpa I've Changed So Much And Learned A Lot press tour after she gets released. I don't think Paris Hilton would be capable of introspection even if she had a periscope installed in her navel.

What does this devastating news mean to the release of the blockbuster movie of the summer: "The Hottie and the Nottie"?

@tudobem:
I thought I heard the mother say that it's a waste of taxpayer's money. As if she cares or pays taxes.

@nick_r: I suspect Mintz is trying to impress potential employers/clients by not turning on Paris following his dismissal, i.e., he's hinting that his next boss need not worry about retribution if and when their professional relationship ends.

@Clare: I read that article, too (after another commenter provided a link to it under another Defamer item about Paris). Overcrowding isn't the reason for the upscale jails, revenue enhancement is. I read a wire service report that pointed out that last year, when Michelle Rodriguez showed up at this very same jail to serve 60 days for violating her probation by breaking the law in Hawaii, she was let go after only a few hours due to overcrowding!

Blame it on Mintz

Sounds to me like the perfect title for a sitcom of a publicist who goes out on a limb week after week, episode after episode for his clients who don't give a one shit about human decency, only how anything in life affects them and their shit-for-brains egotistical views on life as it should be all about them.

Now I know why Bumble Ward wanted out.

Is this some sort of twisted, inside-Hollywood game? Celebs getting drunk somewhere together then and they all go out and drive around sloshed until one of them gets busted - and then the game is over for the night?

Hard to believe that a savvy, sophisticated businesswoman sitting atop multiu-million dollar ventures would find herself afoul of the law.

Wait... you mean she isn't a savvy sophisticated businesswoman? She really just a rich twatwaffle with no discernable skills? Elliot you bastard! You lied!

Well, I suppose the next step is a lunch meeting with Martha Stewart, to learn prison-lifestyle etiquette.

Also: could this be a precedent for making stupidity a punishable offense?

Mintz is letting her step on her own dick (twat?) here. As long as he doesn't say anything nasty about her, he's got a chance at a nice big raise when she comes crawling back.

And she will. In about 45 days, give or take.

I truly hope that the maxim "ignorance of the law is no excuse" holds all water here.

@hwood: eat a d*CK. or come up with an even less original line like "they should lock em all up and throw away the key!"

You disgust me. I fart in your general direction.

after all the fuss over Paris, for the first time ever I can almost stand the sight of her. she got f**ked over.

betcha ty pennington gets treated better.

So it's finally happening: accountability. At long last, a prominent public figure is being punished for serial reckless behavior and the willful denial of its consequences. Unfortunately, the public figure in question is Paris Hilton, not George W. Bush.

Yes, Ty Pennington likely will get treated better mostly because he is not human vermin. And he didn't twice continue to drive his car after being ordered not to.

Karma is a bitch.

@Trixie from Toronto: And he didn't get pulled over for not having tags on his car, and he didn't blow off a court ordered alcohol abuse program, and he didn't show up late for his hearing...

And I'm pretty sure his mother won't come to his hearing to heckle the prosecutor who is working the case. Burn, Paris, burn.

@LickyDisco:
Amen.

Who could possibly argue that she got f**ked over? Any other average Joe would not have received a warning in January -- they would have been charged. She batted her eyelashes/ass goiter, got a warning and did it again a month later.

Porkypine has made my head hurt.

One must wonder if Porkypine is someone's assistant publicist or a certain publicist's publicist, musn't one?

(Dang, I made my own head hurt.)

@Little Mintz Sunshine: Hari-kiri is Japanese for "so hot."

@Trixie from Toronto: Paris finally made her ass flap into a verb. Without even knowing what a verb is.

As in "to ass goiter?"

ass goiter, v., the practice of flashing or otherwise using one's sagging ass flaps in at attemtpt to get out of trouble, as in: "The socialite was clearly not able to ass-goiter her way out of a prison sentence."