Defamer
We'll admit to perhaps being in the tiniest amount of denial about this Kiefer Sutherland DUI situation, as we spent most of the week trying to convince ourselves that the story was just some kind of hallucinatory side effect of our own Tuesday morning hangover. But then news arrives about charges being officially filed today and it becomes a little harder to ignore the fact that America's most lovable, belt-sander-wielding, Geneva-convention-violating counterterrorist (see, there we go again, emotionally defending ourselves by imagining he's as invulnerable as Jack Bauer) could be in some real jeopardy:
The star of the Fox TV drama 24 was charged with single counts of driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or above, said city attorney spokesman Nick Velasquez. If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of a year in jail and a minimum of four days, Velasquez said.
"We also charged him with a second DUI offense within 10 years, which we believe also violates the terms of his probation," Velasquez added.If found guilty of violating probation, Sutherland could be sentenced to an additional six months.
While we know we can't avoid reality forever, we're happy to retreat back into fantasy for a little while longer, at least until the next update about the progress of the DUI proceedings. Excuse us while we close our eyes and envision Kiefer giving us a thumbs-up from across Ye Rustic Inn just moments before throwing his body into a Christmas tree, helping his evergreen adversary back to an upright position, then hooking his car keys on one of its branches as he whispers apologetically, "Hey, buddy, sorry about that. How about you give me a ride home? You know, the probation and all that. Can't be too careful."
- Kiefer Sutherland charged with DUI [USA Today]
- Previously: Kiefer Sutherland Arrested For DUI, Loses Precious World-Saving Time While Being Processed By LAPD [Defamer]
Comments
Oh, my sweet sweet baby dream boy. Why must you chase your own destruction?
@Bufflekins: I'm sure you, and all of the other lady commenters here will agree, that Kiefer just needs the love of a good woman.
@heidiho: Holy comma misuse, Batman. WTF?
@heidiho: We can change him!
/curls into fetal position and plugs fingers in ears
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.
Stunned and a little sick to my stomach about this. Have been very much in denial. ugh.
people! let's think happy thoughts here! if nicole richie only had to serve a day then i'm sure our boy will be a-ok.
I'll write to you in jail, Kiefer. And visit too. But maybe, just maybe, it won't happen...
Ladies, please. It's not like, y'know, Chloe was in trouble. That would be serious.
I'll gladly sign up to be his sober companion once he gets out. And if that means I have to cover his mouth with mine for extended periods of time just to make sure that not a drop of alcohol enters, then so be it.
If all people could be as considerate and sexy and evergreen-positive when inebriated as Sutherland the Younger, then let all people become inebriated.
@BabylonSister: Word. Truth is, I wouldn't want to change a thing.
I wonder if he'll cry like a baby for Mommy when he gets sentenced and then cry like a baby in prison so that he can stay in a special cell where no one will be able to see the festering lesions on his ass goiter and then go on Letterman and almost cry like a baby when Letterman asks what it was like in prison.
I'm kind of hoping he'll make a run north for the border. It's about 20 hours straight up to my apartment.
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