Short Ends, awards, paris hilton, tara reid, emmys

Short Ends: Jon Stewart Victim Of Emmy After-Party Con

· At Comedy Central's after-party, Jon Stewart looks sad because he fell for Stephen Colbert's "Hey, would you mind holding my loaf of bread while I run off with one of your Emmys?" trick for a second straight year.
Quick, put in a bid on the sunglasses Jeremy Piven wore to the Emmys before he pulls them out of the auction, superstitious that they were responsible for his win.
There is perhaps nothing sadder than watching Tara Reid, who once had an entire series dedicated to her partying skills, denied entrance to an exclusive drinking establishment. She just looks so lost and powerless standing by that unmoved, unfeeling Hyde bouncer while Paris strides right in.
Agent Fashionwatch, Mini Edition: "...Emanuel's kid brother, famous Hollywood agent Ari (bright pink Polo shirt, lobster-print belt, white Adidas sneakers) kept jumping up from his front-row seat to pace and speak urgently into his dorky cell-phone headset." What's an agent got to wear to get some respect from the Daily News?
· Paris Hilton is unhappy that Cher's son claimed to scrub his genitals with Tilex after a sexual encounter with her to avoid contracting a social disease, as she fears this rumor might hurt her exclusive STV medication endorsement with Valtrex.

7:58 PM on Mon Aug 28 2006
By Mark
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4 comments

Comments

Procrastinator, Esq. at 11:37 PM on 08/28/06
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I'm going to ask the question that goes unasked: WTF is up with the crappy music coming from Hyde as Tara Reid was denied entrance? "Footloose"? "My Boyfriend's Back"? If that's what lies behind the velvet rope, I remain as happy as ever to maintain my distance. Uggggh- I used to like Bar Marmont because mere mortals could actually go there, but when it reopens post "remodeling," it's just going to be another Paris/LiLo/Joe Francis clusterfuck like every other place around, sadly. I only wish Al Qaeda's plot to lace L.A.'s celebrity coke supply with poison had been seen through to fruition.

Tara: go grab a beer at St. Nick's. They'll (probably) let you in.
Trixie from Toronto at 06:38 AM on 08/29/06
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Connectedness Index: 708

So Elijah Blue is one of the two men Paris has had sex with. Interesting.
chunkstyle at 08:04 AM on 08/29/06
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So does that mean that all of the women Piven has slept with use a tilex douche? I would...
KarenUhOh at 08:52 AM on 08/29/06
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Connectedness Index: 897

Tilex, huh? I would have used Raid.