Leaks continue to spill forth from Rosie O'Donnell's upcoming memoir, Celebrity Detox. And unlike the last batch—which offered the fanciful imagery of Donald Trump as both a scarecrow stuffed with U.S. currency, and a tiny, combforwarded garden slug—the pictures conjured by this latest excerpt were disturbing enough to send us running for our Cirque du Soleil brand inversion therapy swings. From The Insider:

Among the hot topics that Rosie delves into is her painful childhood secret. She writes that as a child, she used to break her own limbs with "a baseball bat" or a "wooden hanger."

On page 186, it reads: "My hands and fingers usually. No one knew. My secret." Why? "Proof," she writes, "that I had some value, enough to be fixed." And later, Rosie cryptically adds, "There were many benefits to having a cast. In the middle of the night, it was a weapon."

We're not exactly sure we completely comprehend the thought process that led a young O'Donnell to take such extreme measures upon herself that she spent the majority of her grade school years looking not unlike a veteran cricket player. Nevertheless, we must commend the lengths she'll go to finally conquer sworn nemesis Donald Trump, reaching into her darkest bag of psychological tricks for a tense end game that will require him to either mock her depressive manifestations anew, or force the competing memoirist to one-up her by dismissing the self-hobbling obsession as nothing compared to the days when he'd "lay his skull on the F-train tracks as a car approached the station, just to feel alive."

• Rosie O'Donnell's Tell-All Revealed! [theinsideronline.com]