Defamer
This morning will surely bring disappointment to those excitedly awaiting the results of the bold pilot-season experiment represented by ABC's Cavemen, the network's attempt to synthesize the best elements of auto-insurance advertising and situational comedy into a groundbreaking, hybrid infotainment form: according to a review posted on Ain't It Cool, ABC's half-hour treatment fails to live up to the thrilling promise of Geico's inspired source material. An excerpt:
"Cavemen" has a lot of people talking since it was first announced. People will continue to talk... about just how astoundingly awful it is."Cavemen" is literally a thirty second commercial expanded to twenty-two minutes. But... it's actually much worse than that. Just like their source material, the origin of these domesticated Cro-Magnons is never explained. I guess "Encino Man" is part of the prequel trilogy. We meet these humanoids already fully integrated into society and living in a mid-west apartment with a bunch of Ikea furniture. Think about it, a show based on a commercial is bound to have a lot of product placement.
Now comes the most mind numbing, stupendously stupid and astoundingly misguided part of this fiasco: The creators have tried to infuse social satire by making the show an allegory for prejudice. They draw astoundingly leaden parallels to every minority group in the world without a laugh in sight. It's jaw dropping horrendous and actually makes "American Dad's" lunkheaded topicality seem sophisticated. [...]This video will get passed around like the infamous "Star Wars Christmas Special." It's nice to know that the spirit of Ed Wood lives on.
Ironically, amidst the mad rush of script ABC developed this season was one of the funniest half hours I ever read... and they didn't order THAT script in favor of this depth charge which could be the first pilot to actually hurt an auto insurance company.
No network's development process is free of hand-wringing over unordered pilots once the underwhelming results of the ones they actually greenlighted are viewed, but with the upfronts so close, there's no point in obsessing over what could have been; at this late stage, the best an exhausted programming president can do is put on his happiest face, thank his team for all of their hard work, and then hope the delicious ice cream he's flown in at great expense helps raise the spirits of a demoralized staff.
Comments
But Geico must be loving this! It's the first car wreck that nobody wants to cash in on.
i haven't been this disappointed since "baywatch nights" went off the air.
sigh.
OK, but maybe you're just not READING it funny.
I'd kill to have that Star Wars Christmas Special. It's like the elusive Bigfoot, or some such.
But that Caveman show? How could it not stink up the joint?
So, "unsolicited submissions" are a step closer to being "accepted"? There is a positive here...
I was hoping that CBS would greenlight a rival show: "The Allstate Stance." (alternate title: the Good Handjobs People) with President Palmer hisownself.
Then NBC would feel compelled to really up the stakes and give the stupid Gecko a mini-series.
Wow! I thought this was going to be really great and...HEY! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CRACK PIPE? WHO MOVED MY CRACK PIPE?
@LickyDisco: Funny you should ask - I posted this yesterday:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=asnVcbWQ2cg
It is, if possible, actually worse than you've heard. Copies used to be available on eBay, but seemingly no more.
Wow...two days in a row discussing the Star Wars Holiday Special?
It's not THAT elusive, though Lucas has sworn that it's his civic duty to destroy every copy in existence.
There's no way this Caveman show can be bad. The 30 second commercials have more content packed into them than any 30 minute show on network TV and probably more content than the entire runs of the King of Queens or that series with the mullet-topped Jim Belushi. I can't wait for their sidesplitting antics.
It sounds a lot like Idiocracy, from the other side's point of view. Which would explain why it's so truly awful an idea and why someone thought it would work.
Who cares about the Caveman backstory? Just drop them in fully formed (ala Buffy's sister) and let us enjoy their slightly 1980's, fish-out-of-water charm.
Why not just title it Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and call it a day?
You want a good commercial turned TV series? Burger King.
POW! Millions of households right there, baby.
I'm DEFINITELY watching it now. It's gonna be awesome.
Star Wars Christmas Special Youtube
I'm struggling to place much stock in the opinion of the guy who didn't figure out that the Geico cavemen were a metaphor for minorities until the 22-minute pilot.
@Everybody Likes Pandas: I've read the script. It's worse than the Star Wars holiday special, and even more nonsensical. SRSLY.
"Ironically, amidst the mad rush of script ABC developed this season was one of the funniest half hours I ever read... and they didn't order THAT script in favor of this depth charge which could be the first pilot to actually hurt an auto insurance company."
Hmm. I wonder who wrote THAT script?
INT. ABC OFFICES - BURBANK
SETH and JOEL looks into the darkened inner sanctum of STEVE MCPHERSON, seeing only the sad, disillusioned silhouette of TV's once most happiest, ice-cream scoopiest, top executive/everyman.
SETH: Jeez, dude looks down. It's only a pilot.
JOEL: I heard he hearts those cave monkeys more than he ever hearted the Desperate Housewives.
Steve lets out a loan moan and begins to sob.
STEVE: They just don't get it. My cavemen. Why?
JOEL: Fro-yo?
SETH: Yeah, let's scoot. This is pathfuckingetic.
I will pour sulfuric acid into my eyes and shatter my ear drums with an ice pick before I ever watch one second of this show.
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