Defamer
With its highly publicized "get" of high-profile starlet-in-distress Lindsay Lohan, the Wonderland Center automatically becomes the hottest rehabilitation center in Los Angeles, and surely will prove the destination of choice for other Hyde regulars looking to make proactive decisions about their health. But what made Lohan choose Wonderland over the many fine sobering-up options that living in one of the most drug-addled cities on the planet affords her? The facility recognizes that those who toil in the entertainment industry are far too busy to throw away 28 potential shooting days on recovery, and has tailored its outpatient offerings to reflect this fact of Hollywood life. Radar points us to the passage on the Wonderland website describing their industry-friendly services:
Wonderland realizes that life does not come to a stop when a client comes in for treatment. Making the commitment to receive help is an essential step. Since Wonderland is located in Los Angeles, the backbone of the entertainment industry, we recognize that many of our clients have careers in the performance arts. For countless years, it has been accepted that the performing arts go hand-in-hand with a bleak history of alcoholism and addiction. How many successful artists have been cut down in their prime by these chronic and fatal diseases? How many more have had their careers shortened and their reputations stained on account of a tabloid explosion in relation to alcoholism and addiction? Recognizing the necessity of performers fulfilling pre-existing commitments when they are in desperate need of treatment, Wonderland has developed a working solution to this all-too-familiar problem.
Our solution begins with the understanding that life and work do not stop on account of a performer needing treatment. If an actor must fulfill contractual obligations at a point when treatment is a necessity, we have developed a balance that will allow both objectives to be realized. Our first example is an actor who is working on a film and needs to be on set and needs immediate treatment. Wonderland will provide a Sober Companion or Sober Assistant to assist with this situation. Sober Companions and Sober Assistants will travel back and forth with the client to the set, allowing the client to keep their external life on track while finding the path of recovery. Sober Companions may prevent extensive damage to a career, a pocketbook or a reputation.
There you have it: with the help of a Wonderland-supplied Sober Assistant, Lohan can fall right back into her comfortable professional routine of showing up hours late to set, saving her producers from the trouble of drawing up a new production schedule accounting for the possibility that their star might unexpectedly arrive for shooting at her assigned call time.
- Services: Sober Companion and Assistants [Wonderland Center via Radar]
Comments
How selfless of the Sober Assistants and Companions to work in close proximity to these victims of "chronic, fatal diseases", knowing that any moment they could be dragged into a bar or bathroom stall and infected themselves.
How oft have I longed for a Sober Companion of my own.
Well, she went to AA for a year, and didn't stop drinking. Now that she is going to rehab, why should we expect her to actually go to rehab?
Besides, she's fine, she's amazingly fine.
Rehabenial
And...After reading the Center's history of Laurel Canyon, I can only equate putting a rehab center there with putting a pedophile halfway house next to a Boy Scout camp.
The only thing this girl is trying to rehab is her career. Phew, I didn't know who we could turn to to replace her hijinx. Now we won't have to.
But what's the hierachy? Are Sober Companions a rung above Sober Assistants? Do you have to be an SA before an SC? Hey you youngsters, sounds like they could make more than an assistant at WMA and the connections are better.
Didn't Lindsay start off as a Sober Companion to Paris?
"Sober Companion" is the new "Scientology Companion".
Companions and Assistants sound suspiciously Scientologist-ish.
Her going into rehab was too good to be true. It just sounds like she finally found a new place to live since she left the big Chateau M, and calling it rehab just gives her some street cred. What a sad damn commentary on the Life of Linds.
I think thte assistants do the actual getting sober and working the 12-steps bit for you since it would be such a drag for an industry person to have to do that for themselves. Betty Ford-style humility is so last century.
I swear I didn't copy you, Wife! I much prefer the old "great minds" and all that.
This is kind of brilliant when you think about it. A working "performing artist" can pay a lot more for sober companions and the like than can a non-working one.
Please, someone needs to contact the Man-Nanny for comment.
Damn I suck at HTML.
http://www.toiletpaperonline.com/Issues/2005/June/Anals%20...
And I think at the highest levels of membership, you have up to five dedicated Sober Assistants for such tasks as picking up your Flonase from Rite-Aid and lint-brushing the excess Strawberry Coke off your shirt.
Licky - Great minds.
We need a red string watch. (On her WRIST you pervs.)
Wow, it's sort of like a fat camp where they cater in from McDonalds. I guess only total wimptards like Mel Gibson need to go to rehab centers where they AVOID the temptation of starting up again.
StarterWife--ew!
Bufflekins - Well, we do have the latter kind of string watch going on for Britney...
(Sorry. I have no idea what has come over me today. Too much time with the jocks at Deadspin.)
"How many more have had their careers shortened and their reputations stained on account of a tabloid explosion in relation to alcoholism and addiction?"
I don't know. It probably has something to do with their sorry, DUI, overdosing, spouse-beating, whore-mongering asses getting busted PUBLICLY. At which point, it's on the NEWS, and the tabloids mop up after.
"Wonderland realizes that life does not come to a stop when a client comes in for treatment."
Even though it should, because, their life IS NO LONGER MANAGEABLE.
F*cking Wonderland enabling creeps. Ew.
For an extra c-note, your Sober Companion will provide a Happy Ending.
Holy smokes, did anyone go look at the Wonderland website?? That place looks like a spa resort!! I wanna go stay there, I could use some R&R! Whatever happened to good old rehab like Betty Ford where it's pretty spartan and you have to make your own bed and stuff?
Gen X.... Our pal Mel was an 'out patient' too, if memory serves. This whole rehab thang is a total career bandaid, for rizzle.
stater wife -- bwahahaha, you said "come over".
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