Defamer
NBC Universal reportedly paid $1 million for exclusive access to Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkead, a deal that is now culminating in her Journey to America, as well as an honorary godfather title and round-the-clock blankey duty for Access Hollywood reporter Tony Potts:
[UPDATED: 1:38 PM] LOUISVILLE, Kentucky (May 1, 2007) — Dannielynn Birkhead has touched down in her dad's hometown for the very first time. The plane carrying the daughter of photographer Larry Birkhead and the late model Anna Nicole Smith just landed in Louisville, Kentucky. [...]
On the plane with Birkhead, Access Hollywood's own Tony Potts confirmed the child had a pleasant flight. "She ate, slept, played and ate again," he recounted. "She barely even fussed." [...]"Blue grass, here we come," Potts reported, adding, "Dannielynn is sleepy now."
Thanks for the updates, Uncle Tony! With Dannielynn safe and sound on domestic soil, and her U.S. passport issued, it seems nothing at all can stop proud papa Larry, his bundle of naturalized joy, and their entourage of cameramen and creepily intrusive showbiz TV reporters from achieving their dreams—except perhaps Grammie Virgie "Slugger" Arthur, whose petition-filing parade we imagine is approaching the vicinity of Louisville.
- Dannielynn Birkhead Reaches Louisville, Kentucky [AccessHollywood.com]
Comments
Dear Tony Potts,
When you were a young, bright-eyed little boy in whatever hometown you come from, did you imagine your life turning out like this? Selling yourself out for free plane rides with soon-to-be Jeopardy answers (sorry, questions!)? Just wondering, 'k thanks.
How are we supposed to exagerate this into a joke?
"UPDATED: ... Danielynn is sleepy now." This is a parody in itself.
Wait, how did Access Hollywood get on board that flight and not Entertainment Tonight. Don't they OWN the narrative to this story?
I never understood, until now, why I was SO hoping that Blondy Birkie was not the baby daddy. I will never kiss my children on the heads ever again. It will bring flashbacks of what I just witnessed. As I sit here still reeling from watching that Access Hollywood Bye-Bye to the Bahamas/daddy dearest training raw footage, I now know it all… almost. Ka-ching baby.
Wow. Talk about a cash cow, er...I mean calf. Who needs Marshall money when you have Universal throwing that kind of change around? Larry my boy, you better start saving that money so you can pay for the lawyers you'll undoubtedly need when Grandmonster Virgie starts her next round of "me, gimme, mine".
OK, what kind of baby whore am I that I ate up every second of that video, then watched it over again. That baby is astonishingly cute. I want to kiss and nuzzle her downy head too.
Any "reporter" who spends more than thirty minutes covering this story should be given a choice:
Either three weeks in Iraq outside the green zone or against the wall and shot immediately.
No, No, No. This story is DONE. Interest Gone. Nothing to see here folks. Move along now.
And an Update? Et tu, Defamer?
When do we get the coin-operated Diaper-Cam?
TOASTEE FLAVOR Toof • Nastier flavor than love: Vivid, with the help of porn broker David Hans Schmitt, plans to release a 40-minute sex tape by VH1 Flavor of Love 2 contestant Jennifer "Toastee" Toof and an unidentified male.
@Scout: With the utmost respect, dear Scout, I beg to differ. Adorable little Dannielynn is the white trash Athina Onassis Roussel of our hemisphere!
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