Normally, news from Sunday (even from across the Atlantic) feels positively ancient by midweek (blame the internets), but since we're still desperately clinging to the holiday spirit, join us in spiking that final glass of probably-still-good eggnog and gather around the crackling fire to hear the incredible tale of Drunken Kiefer Sutherland Vs. That Fucking Christmas Tree, as told by the always-reliable folks at the British Sunday Mirror:

At 2am bar staff refused to serve any more alcohol. Undaunted, Kiefer persuaded management to let them loose in the lobby.

He ordered yet more booze on room service, then staggered around the entrance hall, entertaining pals with a bizarre, flailing breakdancing routine.

It was then that a huge Christmas tree caught his eye.

"I hate that f***ing Christmas tree," he declared. "The tree HAS to come down."

Kiefer warned staff: "I'm smashing it - can I pay for it?"

A staff member replied: "I'm absolutely sure you can, sir."

The Lost Boys star - famously ditched by Julia Roberts five days before their wedding in 1991 - then hurled himself into the Norwegian Spruce, sending baubles and lights crashing to the ground. Pulling pine needles out of his hair and t-shirt, he said to a hotel employee: "Ooh sorry about that...you're so cool. This f***ing hotel rocks."

Say what you will about Mr. Sutherland's antics (possibly mitigating factor: he was partying with the band he's managing), but that had to be the politest instance of crapulent Christmas tree assault ever committed. However, his admirable recognition of proper pre-attack etiquette was, sadly, not very rock and roll. Next year, that tinsel-bedecked motherfucker comes down without warning.

[Photo: /Film]

• 20-FLOORED [SundayMirror.co.uk via Totally Stupid]