Defamer
Mimicking the kind of risky, career-stalling move usually only attempted by more established movie stars like Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba has allowed herself to become impregnated by boyfriend Cash Warren. Following the announcement of the happy news, her agents at Endeavor are scrambling to see if they can get her into some kind of knocked-up-single-mom romantic comedy project Reese Witherspoon rejected during the middle stages of her last pregnancy, hoping to keep Alba working even when she can no longer hide her baby bump. [People]
9:30 AM on Wed Dec 12 2007
By Mark
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6 comments
Comments
I find her only slightly less stultifyingly boring when she's complaining about how she gets objectified because of her body while she's posing in a string bikini on the cover of Maxim.
News like this actually makes me the tiniest bit sad, because it should have been me. (File under "Lofty Goals" archive, "At Least You Dream Big, Douche" subsection.)
The girl always looks unhappy. This should help.
@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: Yup. She's going to be really cheery when the kid sleeps an hour at a stretch and is colicky! Then we'll really see her bitchface!
Chicks like her are a dime a dozen...
Blonde superhero, check. Pregnant by boyfriend, check.
It's like her agent told her to mimic Halle's career arc, but forgot that Halle got pregnant AFTER the Oscar.
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