It's difficult to believe, but not so long ago, when a First Family of Hollywood convened to exchange early Christmas presents, the spectacle of, say, Jane Fonda gifting brother Peter with lambskin racing gloves over dinner at Chasen's would go largely unreported. Today, however, with the proliferation of the interwebs, you (yes, you!) now have the power to transform such private moments into joyous happenings in the public sphere. In other words, thanks to a brave footsoldier of the information revolution like Mad Megan's blog, we can now share with you what Jake Gyllenhaal got from his parents for Christmas his birthday*:

Bear witness to an IM conversation I just had with One Lucky Bitch:

OLB: [I just saw] the entire Gyllenhaal family, including Peter and the baby!! They literally sat 4 feet away from us at the next table. AND I know what Jake got for Christmas

Me: Noooooo! WHAT?? How did Jake look?? What is their baby's name? Ramona?

OLB: Something like that. Anyways, he got...

Me: (please say underwear)
OLB: A pair of cashmere socks, a british tea set, and a hanging garden wooden chime.
Me: How totally sweet
OLB: And slightly gay. Jake looked adorable in his grey Polo cardigan
Me: Aw, I love him.

We applaud the Gyllenhaals' artisanal choices, whose sentimental value will only increase with time where a monogrammed Gucci script protector might not. And while it's all too easy to write these delicate, handcrafted items off as "gay," we'd argue that there is nothing more virile than a man comfortable enough in his own masculinity to be able to provide for his special woman a complete outdoor tea service under the enchanted notes of a garden wind chime, followed by a delightful variety show starring his uproarious sock puppet friends.

*As a commenter pointed out, today was Jake's birthday, making these not early Christmas gifts, but birthday gifts. We'd love to blame One Lucky Bitch, but we really should know better. Happy birthday, Your Dreaminess!
** As a second commenter pointed out, Jake's mother is Jewish, therefore adding the possibility that these were in fact Hannukah gifts. Since we have already acknowledged that today was his birthday, however, we'll assume the windchimes, tea set and socks were his birthday gifts, and that Jake will receive Chrismukkah gifts under separate cover, so that he isn't made to feel as if his special day is being overshadowed by the holidays.

• Stars, They're Just Like Us: 6 Days of Christmas Edition [Mad Megan's Blog]