Defamer
For addicts of rapidly multiplying frozen dairy delicacy concern Pinkberry, the exact nature of the cloudy liquid employees dump from large plastic vats into their churning confectionary machines is of little import. The sign says yogurt, it's probably some kind of watered-down yogurt, right? Wrong, according to a lawsuit brought against the chain. From a press release issued by the plaintiff's lawyers:
The suit alleges that Pinkberry has unlawfully capitalized on the health-consciousness of the California public by falsely calling its product "frozen yogurt." Plaintiff contends that, in direct violation of California law, Pinkberry's product is made from a powder base, mixed with water and/or milk on site, and then sold without notice to consumers of its ingredients.
The plaintiff contends Pinkberry's dry powder mix lacks the bacteria or bacterial cultures that define yogurt and create its health benefits.
It's not hard to see how the stated label of "yogurt," paired with the product's light, tangy consistency, might have led customers to assume a small herd of free-grazing cows wandered behind those swinging doors, having their udders massaged by round-the-clock shiatsu practitioners before their macrobiotic milk was slow-churned by clog-wearing yogurtmaids into a miracle dairy elixir. If the plaintiff's claims are true, and they have just been spending five bucks a pop for the negligable nutritional benefits of some sweetened talc and water with some kiwi chunks on top, they might have thought twice about feeding their Crackberry habits.
- Previously: Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Jake Gyllenhaal Overwhelmed By Pinkberry Topping Selection [Defamer]
Comments
How soon before we hear that Pinkberry's secret ingredient is Melamine?
Praise Jeebus. Maybe now my girlfriend will stop making me go out and stand in those incomprehensibly long lines at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday in order to buy her freaking flavorless yogurt. (Or perhaps I should now call it "yogurt-like substance".)
What if they put some ironized quotes around it? "Yogurt." Would that make the plaintiffs happy? Or henceforth could we just go on with a society-wide assumption that if it tastes good, is heavily marketed and can afford a logo or branding of any kind it's not fucking good for you?
Hmmmm...it comes in powdered form?
Possibly the best news I've heard all week, including Paris facing jail time.
@Little Mintz Sunshine: Yes, powdered. Much like I once heard Taco Bells "beans" do.
@TheStarterWife: Yes, but surely the Pinkberry powder will cut in smoother than the beans...
Good riddance. I can't believe they charge so much for such disgusting product.
Pinkberry is to food what American Apparel is to clothing, taking a nothing product and wrapping it in a pink-and-green package of hype.
But the stores are expanding like kudzu, the prices are ridiculous, and - unlike with American Apparel - there are an army of clones (Iceberry, Kiwiberry, Fiore, etc.) nipping at Pinkberry's heels. I've noticed that the crowds at some of the stores that have been open a while have begun to die back. I don't think they can keep selling cups of cold nothing for seven bucks a pop forever.
In New York, this is why Tasti D-Lite never actually says what the product is, they just call it "Tasti D-Lite" and only if pressed do they call it "soft-serve frozen dessert."
I always order a topping of warm-pork sprinkles. Bacteria problem solved!
Pinkberry = Soylent Green?
So I guess I need to go to a gynecologist now...
Pinkberry is people...
Yeah, I always knew there was no way it was yogurt. As a lactose intolerent American, I can eat yogurt with minimal problems, but very few other diary items. After two unpleasant post-Pinkberry experiences, I learned my lesson and moved on to real frozen yogurt stores.
What surprises me is, weren't there a whole rash of lawsuits about this in the 1990s? Didn't a whole bunch of stores get sued over claiming to serve fat-free frozen yogurt that in no way resembled true yogurt? Isn't this largely why frozen yogurt stores vanished to begin with? Wasn't there a famous episode of Seinfeld about this very thing?
And yet the Pinkberry woman does this anyway?
It's the Emperor's new clothes.
@Xenu:
Yes, they mentioned the Seinfeld episode in the article.
And exactly where is this so-called Pinkberry? I've never seen it at the farmer's market.
FAMIMA - YOU ARE NEXT!
@Mel Gibstein:
That should be FAMIMA!! - YOU ARE NEXT
And I will always enjoy Pinkberry because it keeps the lines manageable at the inevitably cheaper and tastier frozen yogurt place that is nearby.
@Miss Anne Thrope: Article? Article! I don't need to read no stinkin' aritcle! The Defamers give me my news!
@nojo:
Hey, I just got that! Soylent Pink.
@Mokers: good call.
All this calls to mind Carvel's "Thinny Thin".
When they first opened in WeHo, they had little green letters on on eof the glass walls that said that stuff contained live cultures. If my boss weren't such a bitch, I would go over right now and see if the little green proclaimation is still there... oh wait... I work for me... PINKBERRY RUN IN 15 MINUTES EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just so I have this straight: are the yoghurt-maids wearing only clogs?
Proud to say I've never been there.......
Oh, but I have been to pazzo gelato in silver lake and dear lord god almighty, madagascar jack is where it's at!
@metroville: You are telling me brother. Tasteless yogurt like product...
Only Costco's Kirkland Signature Frozen Yogurt for me from now on!
THAT EXPLAINS IT!!!
seriously, this joint just opened out here in nyc and frankly it sucks gloriously. this honestly has me casting shadows upon the souls of west-coasters for embracing this crap.
@the cajun boy: Maybe a glorious failure for Pinkberry in the Big Apple will be turnabout for one of the New York fat-free frozen euphemism's tremendous bellyflops here in L.A. (Crema Lita or something like that?)
@CandyStryper: That gelato is CRAZY! I had chocolate martini. It's the unholy union of booze and chocolate - does it get any better than that?
The powders used to make Pinkberry "yogurt" are dried skim milk power and green tea powder. It's still a dairy product, technically speaking. The only reason it's not yogurt, per se, is because FDA standards demand that any product calling itself yogurt must contain live bacterial cultures (which Pinkberry, evidently, does not). Basically, this is a whole lot of fuss over nothing in particular.
And besides: if you're the kind of person who has been eating Pinkberry for the supposed health benefits, what the hell is wrong with you?
So if you do the math, have we found a powder more expensive than cocaine? I don't do math, so I'm just going to assume that we have.
What's funny is, I don't think I've spent this much time debating stem cell research! Pazzo Gelato is supreme in my opinion! Try the Sabayon and chocolate/tangerine.
@TrixieBelden: So why no strawberry flavor?
@Everybody Likes Pandas: Yes. They need to add nicotine.
@TrixieBelden: I'll stick with blow.
So what are the damages? Emotional distress over bacteria? I don't get it.
@GorgeousGeorge: They could have been eating extra yogurt to stave off yeast infections.
Yes I just typed that.
I'm glad I live in Orange County and don't have to deal with this. Eight dollars for a cup of fake yogurt? Too mind-boggling for my limited brain.
@GorgeousGeorge:
I'd like to make it clear that in my first post, I didn't mean that I actually eat Pinkberry for the anti-fungal vaginal properties instead of regular medical care...like some loser....which isn't me...because I didn't do that...
So TCBY has real frozen yogurt, right?
@asketchymess:
ohhhh...how i miss Tasti D-Lite. we always assumed it was made from flavored air + chemicals. didn't care. where else could you get milky way or snickers bar 'frozen yogurt' that tasted so DAMNED good??!
I feel itchy. And I think I have a fever.
And I heard they won't give you a taste either. I've never been.
@Everybody Likes Pandas: I was totally gonna work that into my comment but thought I'd keep it short and sweet.@Ernst Stavro Blofeld: And yes. Pinkberry just doesn't give me that invincible and oh so pretty feeling that blow does. What's the point?
So now we know what Lindsay was passing around to her friends in that bathroom on the Youtubes. No wonder they smiled so big and thanked her so!
The new rage in all the better firecrotch-attended clubs in the LA Basin...Pinkberry-cut blow...
Jerry: Me, either. Wait a second. Wait a second. Maybe it's that yogurt.
Kramer: No, no, no. That's hundred percent yogurt.
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