The rare olive branch in the ongoing Charlie Sheen-Denise Richards divorce came in an e-mail dated Aug. 24, when, according to court documents, Sheen apologized for a wide array of regrettable remarks he made about his ex-wife and her family, including "a comment about your poor Mom," "your abilities as a mother," and "my pigheaded assertion that you pressed the button that detonated the second tower." Fox411 has revisited the papers to find what, exactly, was contained in those enraged correspondences he so desperately wishes he could unsend:

On Aug. 22, Sheen wrote to the mother of his children: "You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [expletive] yourself, sad, jobless pig."

That's not all. In other e-mails, Sheen ridicules Richards' mother, who is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. "Go cry to your bald mom, you [expletive] loser," Sheen writes. [...]
[Nanny Diana Alvarez] swears in her declaration that she received this text message from Sheen: "The girls won't remember you or even care about you. You couldn't have done worse if you tried. Thank God they'll no longer be exposed to someone SO WEAK. Go have a kid of your own. Maybe that way you'll stop ... confusing the fake kids for a real one. Oh, but that might take some guts. Something you so obviously lack with hopeless vacuity."

Sheen's Baldwinian language seems almost unfathomably callous; but as divorce survivors can attest, a contentious split can cause both parties to do and say things that are completely of character. It's only when pointing out one's former spouse's loser qualities no longer holds the thrill that it once did that they may find themselves going after peripheral targets, like cancer-suffering mothers-in-law and child-coveting housekeepers.

Exclusive: Inside Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards' Divorce [foxnews.com]

11:15 AM on Wed Oct 3 2007
By Seth
9,434 views
22 comments

Comments

Julio Allison at 11:26 AM on 10/03/07
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Looks like someone's got a case of the Baldwins!
caffeinequeen at 11:28 AM on 10/03/07
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God, after reading this---and assuming the e-mails in question are real---I hate, hate, HATE to say this, but...

Team Denise.

I need to go shower with bleach now. I feel so UNCLEAN.
scroll_lock at 11:32 AM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 237

When does he go on The View to explain he's merely a victim of parental alienation and stuff?
Trixie from Toronto at 11:46 AM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 708

Honestly, I can no longer choose a team. They are both clearly nasty, awful assholes. I just feel for the kids. They're the female equivalents of the Federline Boys.
Sweet Panda Love at 11:51 AM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 253

I just don't understand why this ugly divorce and custody battle was being played out in private electronic communications...isn't this the kind of thing commonly conducted through tabloid leaks and insincere interviews?
sarah at 12:01 PM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 409

"A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless pig"

Is Chuck Lorre punching up his hate mail too?
Colonel Mustard at 12:22 PM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 301

That's a REALLY long and grammatically proficient text he sent to the nanny. I'm not saying it's suspicious, but when I text it's more like, "U SUK!!1!"
BigBoobsMagee at 12:32 PM on 10/03/07
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Uh, this is every email I get from my mother in law.
jasonelias at 12:37 PM on 10/03/07
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Mmmmennnn...
Dave J. at 01:09 PM on 10/03/07
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Connectedness Index: 95

The only way I can laugh through my tears is to imagine those emails being read aloud by Paul Lynde.
Juancho at 01:18 PM on 10/03/07
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@TheStarterWife: (in harmony, into microphone) Mennnnnnnnn!
Juancho at 01:18 PM on 10/03/07
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@jasonelias: Dammit, Nibbles didn't allow me to see your comment. My bad.
thehmsbeagle at 01:22 PM on 10/03/07
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@Colonel Mustard: I thought the same thing. When I sent texts, they're like "IM LATE SRY", not full of things like "With hopeless vacuity."
jasonelias at 01:51 PM on 10/03/07
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@Juancho: No problem, great minds...
Her Royal Empress Dr.... at 02:13 PM on 10/03/07
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What, was she supposed to keep on being a hooker after they got married?
gwendemarco at 07:36 PM on 10/03/07
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c sheen lose it
zolielo at 10:08 PM on 10/03/07
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@TheStarterWife: So Charlie Harper is not equal to Charlie Sheen?
mesousa at 10:23 PM on 10/03/07
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You know when someone finds a girlfriend out of the blue and he can't believe that it has actually happened, so he feels the need to mention it in every possible circumstance to anyone who will listen?

Clearly, this phenomenon is why Charlie Sheen likes calling other people 'jobless'.
gwiliandre at 11:15 PM on 10/03/07
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Charlie, you were better off high.
You really fucking were.
Let's face facts Charlie Estevez.
Ginger Lynn is was and always will be your destiny.
I'm serious, man.
Go get her. Be happy.
Cuz I call bullsit on your current Brooke.
I mean, I'm just sayin'.
jasonelias at 11:32 PM on 10/03/07
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I hope this recent scandal does nothing to hinder Charlie's ability to turn in those perfunctory, "barely there" and hollow performances on Two and a Half Men.
blackheartededitor at 01:48 PM on 10/09/07
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I feel for her and all. But she did realize she was marrying Charlie Sheen, right?
MissFiFi at 07:21 PM on 01/01/08
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@blackheartededitor: LOL ACES!

Maybe calling her a sad, jobless pig was once part of their foreplay?