Defamer
And so it goes: According to Extra—exclusively, at least until People, Us Weekly, and TMZ rush their reports online in the next five minutes—Britney Spears has finally decided to make a proactive decision about her health and check into rehab, where she and her overexposed ladyparts can reflect about the poor decisions they've made over the last few turbulent months. There's no information on what facility she's chosen, but we hope that she selects the celebrity-friendly, Lohan-approved Wonderland Center, which will provide her with a Sober Nanny who will allow Spears to quickly return to the baby-neglecting routine that will bring much-needed stability to her recovery process.
UPDATE: TMZ reports the shocking new EXCLUSIVE! DETAILS! that Spears checked into a facility outside of the country two days ago, then checked out a day later. No word on whether that brief stay has completely cured her of her party-loving demons, or if she'll need an additional one-day course of treatment when she returns to L.A.
Comments
Aaaand checked back out, apparently.
The European rehab was a douche.
god it took me longer to read this then she was actually in rehab.
She was in Eric Clapton's Crossroads rehab center in Antigua, but checked out less than 24 hours later.
She would have stayed longer, but she just couldn't stand hearing "Layla" on the facility's loudspeakers one more time.
Actually, Ted, they just kept playing "Cocaine" and that was just really fucking cruel.
That's why I left.
It takes me the whole ten days, PLUS a couple of two day followups. Every. damn. time.
Gonna be laughing about Layla (and Eric Clapton having a rehab. Is it next door to the Floydian "Wish you were Here" rehab?)
Ever notice how all elite private schools in LA have rehab names? Crossroads, Wonderland, The Willows, etc. Don't know why I mention it here. Just a thought.
C'mon, be fair, she probably missed her kids.
Do they have an In 'n' Out Rehab for smokers? Cause I'm jonesing right now.
Gosh, celebs are just a lot better than us other folks at things like, you know, dealing with their substance abuse issues. Actually, in celebrity time, 24 hours is a long time to be in rehab.
I heard Britney now has a biker t-shirt reading:
"Hyde doesn't want me... Wonderland's afraid I'll take over"
Drive-thru rehab!
What'll they think of next?
And here I thought no one would ever usurp Lindsey for Most Half-assed Rehab Attempt. Go New Britney 07!
This was doomed from the start. First, there's the criteria for admission. 1) Over the age of 18 years. Check. 2) Medically and Psychiatrically stable to participate in our program. Um...ookay, whatever. 3) Prepared and motivated to participate in a recovery program. Y'all, I'm outta here!
Too bad. You gotta love a $20K rehab center that takes Discover.
To be fair, the rehab center was probably full. You've got Mel Gibson, Mark Foley, Lindsay Lohan, Isaiah Washington, Kate Moss, Robin Williams, Miss USA, and Keith Urban in there already.
28 Minutes.
It wasn't the program that made her cave, it was the "No Cheetos, Ring-Dings, or Hostess Hootey Hos" rule that was the last straw ( a girl can only be expected to sacrifice so much)
They frowned upon her fishnets and thong only apparel - so she bolted. Didn't like the dress code.
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